Wednesday, 5 August 2015

first on the list of getting older and wiser - self respect

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

One of the benefits of growing older is that I feel like I'm also getting a little wiser (or at least I hope I am). One of the first things I've learnt is self respect - to trust my own judgement more and to worry less about the opinions of others.

There will always be people who have something to offer and who have more experience than me, and who I am happy to seek advice from. Having said that, I also have to admit that I'm a little tired of hearing people spout off on subjects that they have very little knowledge of but have still managed to form strong opinions on. 

There are people out there who seem to constantly want to pass comment on how their life choices are superior to my choices or the choices of others in general. As I get older I find that I don't give a hoot about whether veganism beats take-away, whether you meditate or party like it's 1999, or why your life choices are better than mine. I really don't care whether you like tattoos or not - I happen to think they look pretty good on a lot of people and if I want to have one then that's up to me - I don't need your opinion unless I ask you to share it with me. I also don't need to read on facebook why you do or don't agree with gay marriage rights, or whether someone's skirt is too short, or whether someone should be a stay at home mum or a working wife. 

I am interested in sharing ideas and I do want to know your heart, but please don't compare our different journeys and find the need to judge me, or feel that you need to try to convince me that your path is so much better than mine.

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

So many women are re-inventing themselves in midlife and that is great. We are entitled to choose how we want to live the second half of our lives and the first, and only, people we are answerable to are ourselves and (possibly at times) our nearest and dearest. I don't need to justify whether I sit at home all day or whether I go out and socialize. I don't need to hear why it would do me good to exercise more - I'm quite capable of telling myself that! I don't need to hear about the latest gourmet restaurant or wine bar or sushi house "that I really must try". I don't need to explain why I'd rather eat at home than go out every weekend. 

I'm a big girl now and I am happy with my choices and happy for you to have your opinions - but please don't feel the need to push them on to me unless I invite you to. It's a big wide world of choices and options and opinions out there and plenty of room for us all to have our own without treading on each other's toes. Let's all live and let live and show a little love and respect for ourselves and each other and give each other credit for having enough nous to know what we want for this second half of life!

this post was part of the #1word challenge - this week's word was "first"

21 comments:

  1. I wish you could hear me cheering for this. When I came to the realization about the decisions – – it was such an eye-opening moment. Choosing new glasses. Choosing a new career. When I'm comfortable with my choices I don't care what anyone else thinks.

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    1. Exactly Carla - people are very quick to spout off their opinion - maybe it would be nice if they just thought it inside their head and kept their mouth closed!

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  2. Said perfectly and I feel at this point in my life like you I am entitled to do it my way at this point and shouldn't have to answer to anyone either. So really couldn't agree more, Leanne.

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    1. Thanks Janine - it's nice to know I'm not alone :)

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    1. Thanks Angela and thanks for stopping by :)

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  4. Terrific post Leanne! I the fact that I am more confident about my decisions and no longer care who approves or doesn't approve. I've lived my life long enough to know what's good for me and what's not. I don't want to be told what to do by anyone....ps I have a tatoo and I love it!

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    1. I have one too Rena - and love mine (but get sick of hearing generalised "I hate tattoos" comments from people who should know better!)

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    1. Thanks Tam - I think we are all getting a grip on this.

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  6. Hi Leanne! I do think most of us were "trained" to care what others thought of us and to put everyone else's needs before our own. Thank goodness more and more of us are waking up to the fact that we do have the right to live our own lives and contribute to the world as we see fit. It sounds like you have definitely become "wise" to me! ~Kathy

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    1. Thanks Kathy - I agree that we definitely come from a mindset of not wanting to upset others and that's great except when others are wrong or just opinionated - I'm getting better at standing firm :)

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  7. All I can add, Leanne is: Amen!

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    1. and that is enough said Diane :)

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  8. Good for you!! We all have our own personalities, struggles, and things that bring us joy. We are each different and, therefore, our paths should be different and nobody should judge.

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    1. I agree Lisa - lets just live and let live and the world would be a more peaceful place :) thanks for the one word challenge :)

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  9. Well said, Leanne. I'm so over people telling me what to do. Like you said, I don't mind sharing and other points of view, but when it's shoved down my throat I completely tune out!

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  10. Me too Lana - give me a thought provoking conversation any day - but judgementalism is off the books!

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  11. Brilliant, Leanne! I feel exactly the same way. I am opinionated about a lot of things, but I try not to offer my opinions unless they are sought and that too very sparingly!

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    1. Hi Corinne - I think we all have strong opinions - it's learning to keep them to yourself that is the sign of wisdom!

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  12. Absolutely! I have to agree to live and let live. I am happy where I am and happy for you to be happy where you are, and that is good enough for me! Have an amazing week!

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