Tuesday, 13 October 2015

3 nitty gritty life lessons

This is life. People will screw you over. You’ll fight with your family. You’ll witness things that will change you forever.

How many truisms are contained in the words above? Somewhere along the way we were told life would be easy and smooth sailing on a balmy day. Somebody forgot to mention the nitty gritty details that make up part of our lives.....the bits that build character and stop us becoming too smug. Three of those things I've listed here.....

People screw you over:
It happens, people you trust let you down, friends sometimes don't behave in the way you expect, family members hurt our feelings by not behaving in the way we expect them to. People are human and they all have their foibles. I know I am less than perfect and have done and said things over time that I regret and would like to take back. Learning to let some of the hurt wash over us is part of growing up and growing stronger. Learning discernment as to what was a deliberate action and what was not meant in the way we interpreted it, is also part of the maturing process.

You'll laugh, cry and embarrass yourself:
You'll also embarrass your children and your husband at times too - but it's often those moments that we laugh about later. Being perfect all the time is too much to expect of ourselves and too much to expect from those we love. Learning to forgive and to move on and to feel joy and pain and growing from it, makes us into wiser and more compassionate women. We can face the world because we know we've been there, and survived.

You sit back and find your moment:
That moment came to me a couple of years ago. I realized I had been through the wringer and had come out the other side, still alive and kicking and with a few edges knocked off. I've come to recognize what is important and what I can let go of. I know where my boundaries are when it comes to my children (that took a bit of adjustment!) and also what to expect from my friendships. I feel like I've earned the right to be the person I am today and to claim it unapologetically.

now that she had nothing to lose she was free

The old saying "nothing to prove, nothing to lose" rings true to me today because I'm past the point of people pleasing and trying to compete. I have hung up my boxing gloves and I'm not fighting for my place in life - I'm just claiming the freedom I've earned and finding my place in the sun......and it's lovely!


27 comments:

  1. Yes, a very freeing experience. When we stop looking around so much at other people and their disapproval too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes Mary - the opinion/approval of others is becoming less important as I get older!

      Delete
  2. Love this! I had to get to this point a few years ago with some family members. It is such a liberating feeling to choose you over them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree Erneshia - there are people that you just have to let go of sometimes to reclaim your own peace.

      Delete
  3. Right now I am at the last one. Finding my moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's an ongoing journey Carla but one that is very liberating.

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. thanks Estelle - I think they are things you learn as you experience them.

      Delete
  5. I can identify with this, Leanne. I've learned to be at peace with what is at present.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's definitely a midlife thing isn't it?

      Delete
  6. I loved reading this....I too have found peace with my own existence but it's taken me until middle-age to find it lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too Tracy - I guess wisdom does come with age (one of the few benefits as far as I can see!)

      Delete
  7. That is so true! I am also at the point in my life where I've decided to let go of all the bad, including the toxic people in my life, and really understand that my mistakes have helped to make me the person I am today. If we don't make mistake, we don't learn and if we don't learn, we don't grow and become the people we are meant to be. Wonderful post! Thanks for sharing! Visiting from #abitofeverything

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true Michelle - I've also "released" a few friends lately and I'm being kinder to myself - all part of getting older and wiser :)

      Delete
  8. I've pretty much weeded out anybody in my life that is too critical and opinionated. I haven't done it intentionally. It has just kind of worked out that way. My mother will be moving in with us very soon and will be in our living space until her apartment is finished. That will be a true test for me. Unsolicited advice is not something that I handle well but I'll have to grin and bear it, at least for a while. Ugghh!!! : ) Have a beautiful week!! xo

    ~ Wendy
    http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think weeding out of the less than ideal is part of what we get better at as we get older Wendy - good luck with your mum (at least it's only a short-ish term stay) You'll get to practice patience a lot over the months ahead!

      Delete
  9. This is great Leanne! I feel lucky that I have been able to weed out the drama and energy suckers from my life for 364 days a year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we all have to put up with them occasionally - maybe one day a year is enough! I love that we can learn from life experience and start making life a little easier for ourselves :)

      Delete
  10. Hallelujah! Too bad it takes so long to figure some of this out. It's what builds character and makes us stronger, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know Laurie! 50+ years to get older and wiser - but I intend to make the next 50 all about being in the moment :)

      Delete
  11. Wow just what I needed to read today! All of that is so very true and resonate strongly with me right now! I just wish I could have realized a lot of this a long long time ago.... :) Enjoy your day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I had to Tricia but there's still plenty of life left to put it into practice and be happy :)

      Delete
  12. A quote from a writer who changed my life: Paulo Coelho.
    I think it's so easy to build expectations about ourselves and others that it's no surprise there is so much conflict and misunderstanding.
    Thank you for joining #tiptuesday .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We do tend to expect more from others than they seem able to provide (especially some people!) and I'm learning that reducing expectations makes life a lot more pleasant. Thanks for hosting Deb :)

      Delete
  13. I used to jump through hoops for people in an effort to make them like me. I now see what a fruitless waste of time that is. People will like me for who and what I am and if they don't well, maybe we aren't meant to be connected... and that's OKAY!

    You've shared some thought-provoking ideas here. Thank you.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so agree with that Jennifer - I'm tired of all the people pleasing we do - often for people who don't go out of their way for us. Time to be a little kinder to ourselves I think.

      Delete
  14. I've always tried to please everyone in every aspect of my life. It has taken 58 years for me to say NO this is my time. Thanks Leanne for sharing with us at #WednesdaysWisdom.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...