Monday, 16 November 2015

do I have the right to write?

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

There are so many blogs out there written by people who have exciting or dramatic lives. People who have experienced loss, or pain, or passion, or innumerable life events that I have no claim to. When I think about these writers, I wonder if I have the right to write too?

I have spent a great deal of my life second guessing myself, always trying to make the right choice and to avoid stepping on toes or overstepping my place in this world. I think I've probably missed a few opportunities because I've been so busy working out all the possible reasons why I might fail, that I missed the chance to have a go. Failure is a hard task master, but avoiding it is nearly as bad because you miss the boat sometimes and never know where you could have ended up.

I have always liked writing, I probably would have been a teacher if I'd grown up in a family that encouraged women to further their education. I put it to one side for a very long time while I got on with the day to day of earning a living and making a life. It's only now when I have slowed down a little that I have taken the time to go back to that love of putting my thoughts on paper (or screen).

At the same time, a little voice in the back of my mind says that I have no real, gritty life experience to write about. No huge traumas or dramatic incidents to wax lyrical about. I just have the life that I've lived for the last 50+ years and would that be enough? Sometimes I have to stop basing my self-worth on what other people think is important, and go with what I feel like doing. If people are interested in my very ordinary life then that is a bonus. I've also come to realize that my life is a whole collection of good and bad and experiences that have molded me into the woman I am today and there are others out there who have fought the same battles and rejoiced at the same victories and we can celebrate getting this far together.

Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Very few of my friends know or care that I blog, they are getting on with their lives in a different way and aren't interested in my need to put my thoughts down somewhere. That's okay with me because I've found that there are plenty of other people out there in the blogosphere who are doing the same as I am - sharing their thoughts and their journeys and taking each other along for the ride. And in answer to my question......yes, we all have the right to write because we have all lived lives worth writing about!


44 comments:

  1. Oh friend. I know I say this so frequently but you really do inspire me. I for one am grateful you blog and devour your posts.

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    1. thank you so much Carla - coming from you that is a great compliment :)

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  2. When you write whatever you offer I am always inspired. Everyone has a story to tell. You don't need some horrible disease or unearthly event to qualify. You do what you do best - being YOU and writing about it. I am grateful to have met you.

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    1. thank you so much Cathy - it's really hard to know whether my life is worth sharing but there are so many of us out there walking the same path and I'm loving sharing and connecting and learning from so many valuable women.

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  3. Bless you Leanne for the woman you are! And regarding those who have been through life dramas and traumas, let me tell you it's no fun (no matter how much I'm trying to be funny and cynical about it). I've lost my father at a young age, my mum has recently survived a double super complicated brain tumor and I haven't left her side since, I've been there for her when she was intubated, in a month's coma, paralysed, bald and barely alive. But both her and I, we survived it. I've lost my ovaries in the process, but that's nothing in comparison. And on top of it we moved to a country that's exposed to all these attacks where we have to fear for our lives. And I think you're right, we all have different ways of dealing with these traumas. For one thing you would never tell looking at my "funny" blog what I've been trough. But that's a way for me to deal with it, throwing myself into humor instead of off a cliff:)
    xx Abby

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    1. oh Abby, I had no idea how bad your mum's condition was - you certainly use your blog for sunshine rather than rain! I've been thinking about you a lot with all the stuff that happened in Paris and what that will mean for France in general. Life is certainly a roller coaster and you are on the really steep bits while I'm enjoying the gentle curves :) xxx

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  4. I love this Leanne. I have always had the same feelings like I am not worthy or something and I finally just called bullshit on myself. Time is running out whether we admit and I don't want to get to the end of my life and say, "I wanted to, but I was afraid," You do inspire us every single day and cause us to take long deep looks into ourselves. Something we all need to do more of and you remind us of that. I also love to see how you have slowly changed over time. I remember reading your blog way, way back when you didn't even except comments because you were so afraid...look at you now! You're coaching all of us. You have found your niche, you are an inspirational blogger!

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    1. thanks so much Rena - I love how we inspire each other and learn and grow and laugh. I think we're all discovering that we have lots to offer and if we jump in and take a positive approach then life is great and worth writing about xx

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  5. I love reading your blog because you often say things I've thought, but haven't quite articulated yet. You have such an insightful perspective on life, and that gives you every right to write! Keep on keeping on xx

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    1. thanks so much - I check out your fashions and you're much braver than I am with that side of life too - but I'm getting there! Life is definitely good :)

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  6. Completely agree Leanne.. we all have right to write as we all lived lifes worth writing about. You have a great blog Leanne and we sure will love reading more here :-)

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    1. thanks Mahathri - I love that I meet so many different bloggers and we all take something away from it .

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  7. I think it takes a lot of courage to write a blog and share your thoughts! You are courageous, now continue!!

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    1. thanks so much Haralee and for being one of my inspirations :)

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  8. The best compliment I can get on my blog is "you said what I'm thinking." I'm sure you hear that all the time, and I will say it to you about this post. But what I've learned is how important sharing our "ordinary" lives is to those who read our writing!

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    1. thanks Sharon (any compliments from you are taken very highly!) I love that we are all walking this journey together and sharing and learning - Women of Midlife is a huge part of that. Blogging has taught me so much and given me a place to put it all down coherently.

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  9. You sure do have the right to write. All those tiny moments woven within your life's tapestry are loaded with life's lessons and profound perspectives. Keep writing about them. I know what you mean about those around us in our daily lives not understanding the whole blogging thing. I've just come to accept that. My main motivation is to record the moments and memories for my children anyway.

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    1. Hi Julie - my husband told me the other day that I won't need a eulogy at my funeral...he'll just put up a link to my blog under my photo! It is true that we leave behind our thoughts and it is a record of our journey through life - I just love it.

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  10. Well first, you absolutely have the Right to write. Second, everyone feels like they're a bore. Third, it's likely that the people around you don't understand what a blog IS, Fourth, 'ordinary' is 'extraordinary' if you say it with finesse, Fifth, you have that finesse. Keep at it. I'm listening.

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    1. You are one of my favourite blogs to read so I'll take all five of those with a hug :) It's been such a great experience connecting with so many different bloggers and hearing all those voices!

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  11. Loving sharing this journey with you, Leanne! And now I will state that no life is ordinary. What you see as dull and boring is interesting to those of us who have lived with something entirely different! I mean, who would think that my experiences growing up on a rather staid and common ranch would be interesting? Anyone who hasn't known ranch life, apparently. And it's the same with you. I'm fascinated by the journey you are on right now and love to hear about your life in a different corner of the world to mine. Yours is not an ordinary life. The ordinary life doesn't exist!

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    1. That's a lesson I'm starting to learn Diane - every life has interesting bits to it and we all have so many experiences that interweave and give us glimpses of completely different lives. It's all been so much fun!

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  12. I don't think that having the scars of life is a necessity. We each provide a unique perspective of life... your rays of sunshine posts would brighten my glum existence across the world while my dark thoughts may make someone ponder about something they had not considered hitherto.

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    1. that's true Roshan - we bounce off each other and provoke a bit of thinking and it deepens our life.

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  13. I just found your blog today (through Write Tribe), and I must say that I am glad that I stopped by.
    You have voiced what a lot of us wonder at different points of time. But here is what I think - while some people go through dramatic ups and downs, the vast majority lead very ordinary lives (thankfully so) without great losses and huge successes. So, I am sure they can relate to you. I can relate to you. Keep writing! :)

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    1. thanks so much Shanaya and I'm glad you stopped by for a visit. I think ordinary lives all have interesting moments that can be wonderful to share (it's a lesson blogging has taught me!)

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  14. I think that if we have the desire to write, we have the right to write. And I'm glad you do. :)

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    1. thanks Laurel and ditto to you - I love your art and your gratitude posts :)

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  15. You should always do what makes you happy and sane. Writing is one of those things we do for ourselves I think. And you do it beautifully!

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    1. thanks so much Barbara - I think happy and sane is an excellent reason for blogging - I really enjoy reading your posts too :)

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  16. You have the right to write, just as I have the right to read it. I love your blog. It's so relatable. I have tons to say, but I am just not able to say it, so I love when others do for me.

    So keep exercising your right to write please ☺

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    1. Diana that is such a kind thing to say - thank you so much for reading and commenting - I love how we can share each other's lives.

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  17. I think such doubts keep us going. When I am in doubt, I like to write. I may not share it with everyone but the more I write, be it something I think is worth reading or not, it helps me somehow. :) And yeah, we all have a life worth writing about. And even the same incidents we see in our unique way and we should write about it. :) Happy writing and blogging, Leanne.

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  18. Leanne, I can't believe how alike we are!!! I wanted to be a teacher - the closest I came was as a ballet teacher in my younger days and teaching how to complete Tax returns (hard to make that sound interesting). Everything you have written could have been me - it is scary it is so much the same. Thanks for sharing another wonderful post at #WednesdaysWisdom and hope to see you at the Over the Moon link up on December 7

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    1. I'll be at over the moon as soon as you launch it - I think it sounds great. I also love that we are so similar and have ended up on the same journey - life is funny like that :)

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  19. Leanne you certainly do have the right to write, besides you do it so well. I personally think we need to be able to express ourselves and blogging has given us that avenue. Thanks as always for sharing on #wednesdayswisdom

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    1. I think we find our voice and then we just can't help ourselves Jennifer - I love sharing this blogging journey with so many lovely ladies.

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  20. Yes, you should write because you have things to say :-) When I have those times when no one reads my post but a few family members, I remember that my primary goal in writing is to leave something behind so my grandchildren and their children, know who I am and what matters to me.

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    1. I agree Mary - it's about putting your thoughts and feelings down somewhere - sharing it with those who are interested and hoping to leave a legacy of ourselves behind too.

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  21. At the risk of sounding cynical, Leanne, I find some bloggers exaggerate their woes or their triumphs to make them seem extraordinary. It takes courage to stay authentic and that's precisely what I appreciate about you and your writing!

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  22. Leanne, I enjoyed this post. I have two blogs - one for writing and one to encourage those in the cancer valley - but I love that you talk from the heart and as Corinne just said, you are authentic. Well done! Shirley Corder from Write to Inspire - Encouragement and inspiration for writers and readers.

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