This week's #Friday Reflection question was: "what brings a tear to your eyes?"
I wracked my brains a bit over this one because I don't cry very much at all nowadays. Then I thought back to my life a few years ago where I was crying all.the.time. I was having a big hiccup in my marriage, I felt irrelevant as a mother because my children were independent and living away from home, I hated my job, and so the list went on. Then things changed.....
If I kept telling myself the same sad story over and over then I was trapped and helpless. If I took ownership of my life and made some decisions then I could change that story and start living a new chapter that was more to my liking. I hate change, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet, kick some of your preconceived ideas to the kerb, and start afresh.
There are enough miserable middle aged women out there without me adding to their number. Life is what you make it and crying all the time over things that didn't go the way I thought they should is not the answer to the problem. The answer is choosing to be grateful for the good stuff that my life is full of. Taking responsibility for my own happiness, leaving the horrible job, disconnecting from unhealthy friendships, and starting a new story. I wanted a midlife that was more about sunshine and light and less about tears and disappointment.
The amazing thing is that I've found it - my marriage survived its crisis, I've found the balance with how involved I want to be with my children, I have a new job that takes up less time and is more rewarding, I volunteer, I have some great friends, I have a grandbaby on the way, and I started blogging - which I love! The tears dried up and the positive, proactive me re-emerged and now my life is about celebrating the good and creating an excellent second half of life that is full of fun and laughter and embracing friends and family.
So, what brings a tear to my eyes nowadays? Empathy with another person's pain, sad stories - (and funny ones!) and not much else - it is SO good to not be that sad, teary, disappointed woman any more!