Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Life Lesson from my Cat #10 ~ Love and Let Go

Parenting involves both loving and ultimately letting go

My good friend Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty asked me to write a post on parenting for her Blogging Series - Midlife Matters. I thought this would tie in well with my Life Lessons from my Cat Series because cats are very good examples of how to parent effectively. They are far removed from the "helicopter" parents of today and are much closer to my style of parenting. 

My post is basically about being a Mother Wolf (or in relation to this series....a Mother Cat) and the benefits that style of parenting has had on my children now they are adults in their own right. You can read it HERE if you'd like a snapshot of detachment parenting at its best! I'd love you to pop over and have a read and say Hi to Sue.

I intend to write a series on this style of parenting later in the year, but suffice it to say, cats have it down to a fine art. They mother their kittens from birth through to teaching them how to feed themselves and clean up after themselves. They make sure their kittens are self-sufficient and able to thrive in the big wide world........and then they are happy to let them go and find their own way in life.

Ann Landers — 'It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.'

To me, the sign of healthy parenting (no matter what style you favour) is producing children who can function independently. Children who aren't tied to your apron strings or needing to run home to their mother every time life gets tough. Strong, independent, capable kittens/children is what good parenting is all about. Don't forget to pop over and say "Hi" to Sue and read my post!

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Parenting involves both loving and ultimately letting go

24 comments:

  1. Commented on this earlier on . . . today, I think? But on someone else's site. I think? Oh well whatever, it's a great post. Thanks for sharing. Your style of parenting is mine too!

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    1. Hi Shirley - yes I was guest posting on Sue Loncaric's site and saw that you'd commented there. It's lovely to see you here too xx

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  2. I have a friend with adult children (25,27) who never shuts her cell phone off because her daughters call/text her all day. Once we were in the theatre and she had to look at their texts that kept pouring in. It never stops and sometimes I get annoyed. It's hard to talk to someone who interrupts you because her daughter is texting. I agree with what you said and I feel that my 23 y/o son has detached himself from us in a healthy way. You want your kids to be independent. Loved this, Leanne. Meow.

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    1. thanks so much Cathy - I used to think that I wanted that whole inter-connection thing, but I actually know that it would drive me crazy having anyone demanding my attention so frequently. There needs to be space and a recognition that you are your own people and not still a parent and little child.

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  3. Yes - agreed! Raising independent children is what it's all about. That independence is what teaches them to cope and think for themselves.

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    1. I think it would be really hard to have an adult child who couldn't manage their life without constantly checking in Sheryl. I'm so glad mine are grown ups who behave like adults and not children.

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  4. Such important advice here. I think it is so hard for some parents to watch kids gain independence, but very healthy. Good post today.
    Carol
    www.carolcassara.com

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    1. Thanks Carol - letting go can be tough, but the rewards far outweigh any losses. The alternative of having needy, dependent adult babies is unthinkable.

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  5. We have to let our children go and trust that our guidance and love has equipped them with the skills to take life head on. Thanks for being a guest on my blog and sharing your parenting ideas. I've loved your cat series!

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    1. Thanks so much for having me Sue and I completely agree that it is our responsibility as parents to build a strong foundation and then let them go so they can build on that in their own way.

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  6. Don't we want our children to grow up to be independent adults? We will always love them but we need to let go!

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    1. I assume that's what we all want Lois - but some people seem to want to hold on for as long as possible.

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  7. To truly love your children, you have to let them go. Teaching independence is priceless. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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    1. Independence is a gift in itself isn't it Alana? To have bestowed that on our children makes it all worthwhile.

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  8. So very true Leanne, I love your Ann Landers quote, that is what makes successful human beings.

    Kathleen
    Bloggers Pit Stop

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    1. thanks Kathleen - I think it's should be the aim of all parents - myself included!

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  9. I've always had the same thoughts when it came to parenting my two. I'm glad I did. They are both totally dependent and have been for years. We're able to have real adult relationships where I don't have to nag or lecture them. They've got it all under control.

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    1. It's nice to be able to dust your hands off and think "job well done" isn't it Rena? I love watching my kids taking off under their own steam and not running home to mum all the time.

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  10. Thank you so much for linking at #overthemoon! I look forward to seeing what you share every week. Please come back for #WonderfulWednesday or #ThursdayFavoriteThings. Don't forget to comment your link #'s so I can be sure to visit and you get a chance to be featured! Pinned and shared.

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    1. Hi Marilyn - I wouldn't miss #OTM for anything - I love you ladies and your link up x

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  11. Uh oh, I am pro attachment parenting haha. But, I totally respect other points of view and think as parents we have a right to raise our children as we wish. Thanks for joining the Family Joy link party!

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    1. That's why variety is the spice of life Samantha :) I'd go mad being an attachment parent, but others would go mad not having their children bonded to their side - each to their own is the best recipe x

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  12. Popped over and read the entire article. You Mama Wolf you! LOL I'm not ready for the day when the kids both leave. I'm miss them. I trust that they will be fine. But I like seeing them even if it's on their way out the door!

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    1. You'll make a great Mama Wolf too when it's your turn Nikki - if you're not crying at the thought of them leaving the nest then you'll probably cope quite nicely with having a bit of time and space to yourself with regular visits thrown in to remind you that you still have kids x

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