Monday, 6 June 2016

Life Lesson from my Cat #3 ~ Avoid Upsets and Drama

do what you can to lead a life free from upsets and drama

There are people in this world who thrive on drama - we all know a few and we do our best to avoid them wherever possible. I've written a post a while back on people I refer to as Light Suckers - they just suck the joy and light from every encounter - their lives lurch from one crisis to the next and they almost seem to prefer it that way.

Cats are excellent avoiders of drama - if things are getting loud or over-heated, they make a quiet and stately exit from the area and find themselves a nice quiet cubbyhole to bunker down in until the dramatics have run out of fuel. Noise, shouting, crying and general hubbub are not their forte and they are happy to absent themselves from it.

I'm learning (in my midlife wisdom) there are certain people you just can't help. They are always going to be upset, or angry, or miserable, over something.
 If one thing is resolved then they will move on to the next crisis. Trying to bolster them or help them find solutions is a thankless and often pointless exercise. Investing yourself in their drama drags you down and starts to colour your world too.


Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn't mean you have to attend the performance. Cheryl Richardson

So, read the chapter in the cat manual on ignoring bad behaviour - in there I'm sure you'll find mention of finding a quiet spot and waiting for the chaos to pass by before you come out to investigate the situation. I think they might be on to a good thing - being part of other people's dramas is not healthy or helpful - so practice avoidance wherever possible.

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do what you can to lead a life free from upsets and drama

33 comments:

  1. Yes! Being part of others' drama isn't healthy. And you are so right, there are people who always "find" new drama... Sometimes it's necessary to find a more permanent "hiding place."

    Andrea
    Andrea’s Wellness Notes

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    1. I'm learning to avoid drama Andrea - get caught up in it is very wearying after a while

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  2. I don't know about that, my cats were usually at the center of all of the drama. One would behave like a petulant teenager glaring at you while she got on the furniture she knew she wasn't supposed to be on. But oh, how I loved her anyways.

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    1. Cats do like to stand their ground and that can be a little dramatic - but on the whole they tend to find other people's drama annoying.

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  3. Geez, great timing. A certain drama situation unfolded yesterday for me...could have used these words of wisdom then! Tucking away for future drama sessions.

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    1. Avoid, avoid, avoid - and if you can't then head down and try to slide by Michelle :)

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  4. Yes, the drama of other people is to be steered away from at all costs! And don't you love the look cats give us in the face of drama? My dog, though..a drama queen, I mean king.
    Carol
    http://carolcassara.com/getting-high/

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    1. Dogs enjoy the excitement that goes with drama Carol - cats are more disdainful of messy situations!

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  5. I had a cat who was profoundly jealous of . . . my computer! Whenever I spent time on it, he would head for my Scrabble board (I played with a friend in England) and flicked the letters around. Then, yes, I admit it - she would head for cover. But it was like a two-year-old having a tantrum. I fueled his bad behavior by leaving the computer. 1 point to him, 0 to me.

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    1. They're cleverer than we give them credit for aren't they Shirley? And a bit sneaky too!

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  6. It is so easy to get drawn into other people's dramas. Thanks for reminding me to not attend the performance. Great advice!!!

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    1. What would have drawn me in when I was younger no longer holds the slightest attraction anymore Ellen - it wears me out just thinking about other people who love drama!

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  7. I love the analogy with the cats. Obviously some animals are smarter than some people.

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    1. They have better instincts than us Toni - but I'm learning (slowly) that they often are smarter than us!

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  8. I don't have cats Leanne but yes I think they are too aloof for drama! You are right there are some people who just can't help themselves and thrive on 'drama' in life. I have a few in my family - BTW I'm not one of them LOL:)

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    1. Me either Sue - some people love all the excitement but me - not so much......give me a calm and peaceful world any day :)

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    2. Hi Leanne, Congratulations! Your post was in my top two picks for Over the Moon! Hope to see you next week.

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  9. I totally agree with this. I've had enough drama in my life. I don't need any more!

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    1. I know Janie! Why would you take on anyone else's drama unless you were a beggar for punishment!

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  10. Amen. Have removed one drama queen from my life! I love her, but I don't have to participate. Aren't kitties just the best?

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    1. I don't hang with drama queens anymore either Cathy - too energy sapping for me I'm afraid :)

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  11. So true there are some people who prefer to live in a state of crisis and drama. It is hard not to be sucked in by them. I agree these people for the most part, don't want your help, they just want to complain. I like your description as light suckers, use to call them positivity vampires,

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    1. Positivity vampires has a nice ring to it Melissa - might keep it in mind when I'm getting drawn into someone like that's circle of negativity!

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  12. I'm so glad you blogged about this topic! I call them emotional vampires. They live to suck the life right outta you. I look to avoid drama whenever and wherever I can! Of course, there are times you just can't escape it!

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    1. Emotional Vampires - nice one Carolann - and quite apt isn't it? Sometimes drama just swamps over you - I'm working at letting it wash over and not join the party if possible - no good ever seems to come of it.

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  13. Boy, this is a lesson we all need to learn! Animals are so much smarter than we are!

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    1. Yep - run and hide is becoming my new motto Lois - or sidle out slowly and then run when they're not looking!

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  14. Yes. This is so important, yet so simple. Maybe that's why I love cats so much.
    Estelle

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    1. Me too Estelle - they are very dignified in how they handle stuff they don't like (well most of the time anyway) and if you can avoid upsets then why wouldn't you?

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  15. Last year I vowed to divorce myself from drama and I'm happy to report that I managed to do it.

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    1. Good on you Corinne - I'm the same - peace and tranquility are my middle names (well most of the time anyway!)

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  16. Yes, I prefer to be cat like in this area! Though I find a lot of people believe cats are antagonistic - I often find myself tr ying to convince people that cats are natural avoiders. That's why they have the stand offs & the hissing and will dodge each other if they can - they really only fight as a last resort. Fighting is more the domain of pack animals - trying to find and maintain their place. Cats are more solitary so will only engage if they have to. I think that tends to be true for dramatic people too - they are usually the more insecure ones, who are desperate to get themselves a perceived place in the group in order to feel like they fit.

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    1. Yes! Beautifully put! I am learning to avoid those pack animals like the plague because I don't need the jostling and drama that goes with establishing and trying to maintain your place in the pecking order - it's exhausting.

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