Friday, 22 July 2016

STEP #9 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ LET THE PAST GO

Step #9 on the Journey to Happiness ~ Let the Past Go - stop wallowing and start moving forward

STOP WALLOWING IN THE PAST

It's so easy to look back at where we've come from and use that as an excuse for why we're stuck where we are today. Everyone has baggage they drag along behind them because they refuse to let it go and lose the excuse for why they aren't happy with where they're at, or why they don't make changes and keep repeating the same miserable life steps over and over again.

LOOKING BACK

So much of my dissatisfaction with my life came from all the unfair things I could cite from my childhood or from things that happened that I felt were undeserved. I would compare my "lack" with the "plenty" of others, my lost opportunities with those others had been given on a plate, and my "scarcity" with the "abundance" others seemed to take for granted.

My childhood and teenage days were pretty cruisy really, but there were lots of things I didn't get given to me, education choices that I missed out on, financial help that never materialized, and so the list goes on. Some people seemed to be served all these good things on a plate with a side dressing of abundant love and affirmation - how lucky were they? Poor me, I missed out.....and so my internal monologue continued.

LIFE ISN'T FAIR

Something we all need to learn is that life isn't fair. We probably do deserve more than we've been given, but that doesn't mean it's coming our way. Life fluctuates madly all over the place and A + B quite often will not equal C. Focusing on all the things we've missed out on and all the missed opportunities will only drag us down.

I wasted too many years thinking my life should have been fairer and more perfect, and that changed nothing. All it did was give me an excuse to wallow and stay treading water in the same place. Now I can acknowledge "you know what, life isn't fair, in fact is can be downright sucky at times - but that doesn't define who I am now".

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

What I've learned is if there is an injustice from the past that really niggles, do something about it. If you didn't get as much education as you deserved - go back to school. If you weren't overtly shown love - start showing it to others and find people who love you and can show it back. If you had a miserable relationship with your parents - try to mend it, or at the very least, try to be a better parent to your own children.

If you can't get past the past on your own - get some counselling. Learn the lessons the past taught you but don't dwell on them, use them to make today a better stage of life. Why would you want to keep re-living the same sad story over and over again?

“Every morning we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better. Your past is your past. Leave it there. Get on with your future" Nicole Williams

GET ON WITH IT!

It's easy to use the past as an excuse for your lack of progress in the present. I've found that it's way past time to STOP doing that and START living in the "now". You can't go back and change anything, you can't make those experiences un-happen. The most you can do is see them from the perspective of a mature and balanced adult viewpoint and put them into context.

I can't compare my dad's lack of fathering ability with the great dads out there now - times have changed. I can't insist I should have been given more opportunities back then - times have changed. I can't view all that happened in the 60's and 70's and presume it should be the same as it is today - no, because times have changed.

All I can do is put the past where it belongs - in the past - and live in the here and now. There is so much to appreciate in my life and to be happy about, why drag all that baggage out and add it into the equation? So, I've put the baggage in the back of the hall cupboard (where I keep all those things I've forgotten I own) and I plan to enjoy life unburdened - I'm looking forward rather than backward, because that's where I'm heading......with a big smile on my face!

This post was shared at some of these great link parties
To keep up to date with my posts, feel free to add your email into the spot especially for it on my sidebar or follow me on facebook


Step #9 on the Journey to Happiness ~ Let the Past Go - stop wallowing and start moving forward

16 comments:

  1. I like the way you've cleaned out the clutter of negative thoughts to make way for happiness. I like to remember that unfairness works both ways. If life was fair we'd all have cancer or live in a war torn country. Meanwhile I'll act the part of a normal grumbly human but try to stop and count my blessings. Posts like this help me with the latter. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is so true about fairness working both ways Molly - we may not be too thrilled if we actually got what we deserved, rather than what we've been fortunate enough to be blessed with!

      Delete
  2. Very true.The past is... in the past. All we have is today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we need to make the most of today because who knows what tomorrow will bring?

      Delete
  3. I love this. So true that we can get bogged down in what our lives are not like. I totally agree that the picture of what we thought it should be comes up and keeps us from living our lives that we do have. I've been thinking of going back to school in some way. One of my regrets was only getting an associate's degree. I can't change that, I can only go forward. If not now, when. Pinned!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rosie - good on you for having the courage to leap back into school - I think it would be so challenging to go back into that environment, but so rewarding too. I'll wait and see what unfolds for you :)

      Delete
  4. You are spot on here. It is so very important to let go of the past and move on. It's so easy to blame current crappy circumstances on what happened in the past (especially childhood) but eventually you are an adult and have the ability to NOT let the past dictate your future. Or present. I wish my siblings would figure that out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My siblings have a similar problem Lisa - regrets for the past, but instead of learning from them, they go ahead and repeat it all over again. Why??? I am feeling the joy of putting all that weight down and just focusing on the here and now :)

      Delete
  5. Thank you dear Leanne, I thought I had done this with 'the baggage', but after a reality check, I had to admit that I was not disciplined to quickly put negative thoughts that pop up from the past, right out of my mind. They can only harm me if I allow them to dwell there. As you mentioned, what a weight is lifted when we learn to clear our mind of this unwanted baggage.
    Kathleen
    Blogger's Pit Stop - the home of great posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been a dweller on things all my life Kathleen - it's only in the last few years that I've been able to let some of that stuff go and life is a lot sweeter as a result!

      Delete
  6. Such words of inspiration here Leanne! I Love this,"Learn the lessons the past taught you but don't dwell on them. Use them to make today a better stage of life. As I approach turning 50 in nine days. I pray that God will give me the wisdom to do just that! So nice to visit your blog today via Over the Moon. I hope you have a wonderful week and may God bless you and yours in all your endeavors!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for stopping by Horace (I don't get a lot of male visitors!) and yes, learning from the past but not carrying it around with you is definitely the secret to moving forward :) And happy "nearly birthday" !

      Delete
  7. Leanne, the Pit Stop Crew cannot go past your post, so again your post will be featured.
    Congratulations on this great series.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's fantastic Kathleen - thank you xx

      Delete
  8. Danny Gokey says in his song "..yesterdays a closing door, you don't live there any more.." Great words to live by. I went back to school and got my doctorate at age 53 so it is never too late. Good luck if you decide to go back.
    Thanks for sharing at over The Moon,
    Bev

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's so true Bev - none of us have to live in the past - it's totally in our hands and we get to choose.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...