#7 DON'T GET EMBROILED

Happiness Choice #7 - Don't get embroiled in other people's drama

DEALING WITH DRAMA

One of the many drains on happiness is getting embroiled in other people's drama. You can have your own life under control and going along smoothly, but get hijacked by being drawn into the emotional upheavals of the people around you. It might be a family member, a friend, a work colleague, or a casual acquaintance, but the impact on our own happiness can be quite significant.

#6 CHOOSE TO BE GRATEFUL

Happiness Choice #6 - Choose to be Grateful for the life you have

CHOOSE GRATITUDE

Gratitude would be one of the top contributors to happiness. If we choose to be grateful for the circumstances of our life and the people we share our lives with, then we are well on the way to being happy without having to do much else.

#5 CREATE MEMORIES

Choices for Happiness - #5 Seek opportunities to create happy memories

MEMORIES

As my 12 Choices for Happiness month continues I want to talk about "seeking opportunities to create memories". I read about this somewhere back in 2011 possibly in this post (I'm not 100% sure) and it really struck a chord with me because positive memories of fun occasions instil in us a sense of happiness and are often great ways to combat times when we feel a little bit flat or unappreciated.

Coincidentally, my friend Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 and Beyond asked me to write a guest post for her "Month of Celebrating Life Now" - she turns 60 in August and wants to make this month one big party. I was really pleased to be asked and thought this post on creating happy memories throughout life could be expanded on further - so if you want to read more later feel free to pop over and wish Sue a happy birthday on Thursday when I'm over there too.

#4 CHOOSE TO FORGIVE

Happiness Choice #4 - Choose to Forgive - Forgiving doesn't imply that what someone did to you is okay

CHANGE YOUR VIEW ON FORGIVING

Forgiveness is a huge factor in happiness. Holding on to unforgiveness in our hearts will sap our joy in every aspect of our lives. When we hold a grudge against someone for a perceived hurt we carry that anger and pain around inside us every day. When we feel hurt in our heart and soul from something someone did or said to us then that becomes a driving force in our lives. It can lead to resentment, revenge or just an ongoing sense of misery and unsettledness.

We base a lot of our ideas about forgiveness on the other person seeking restitution and re-connection. We long to hear them apologize and to have acknowledgement of the pain they caused us and the offence we've taken often can't be let go of until this occurs. But what happens if the other person doesn't feel they were in the wrong? What happens when you don't get the apology you believe you deserve? How do you move forward?

#3 RELAX PROACTIVELY

Happiness Choice #3 - Relax Proactively -  'Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.'

THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE

Life has a habit of speeding up and stressing us out. We are always so busy and our timetables are so full. We seem to be on the go from the moment our alarm goes off in the morning until the time we crawl back into bed at the end of a long, tiring day. Stress and busyness are two of the biggest killers of happiness - they stop us pausing and appreciating the moment. They hustle and harrass us and we are left feeling wilted and drained instead of cheerful and on top of things.

#2 DON'T DWELL

Happiness Choice #2 - Don't Dwell - Don’t waste your time being sad, because you’re wasting away moments in which you could be happy.

DON'T DWELL AND DON'T RE-HASH

When you're an overthinker like me, dwelling on things is big factor when it comes to sucking the happiness out of life. The trouble with dwelling is that we don't tend to chew over the good stuff, instead we get caught up on a hamster wheel of rehashing the same litany of hurts and sad feelings over and over again.

We think about whatever upset us and we wonder how we could have done it differently, we play conversations over in our heads and try to come up with better outcomes. The question arises "what could I have done differently?" If I'd done 'X' would I have gotten a different outcome, or what about if I'd said 'Y' would the other person have responded differently? Lots of could haves, should haves and would haves.

#1 CHOOSE CONTENTMENT

The 12 Choices for Happiness - Number #1 is to choose contentment over dissatisfaction and envy

CHOOSING CONTENTMENT

This month I'm doing a series on choices we can make for a happier life. One of the most important choices is choosing to be content with who and what you have in life. Wishing for more and constantly wanting what others have is such a drain on our emotions and our pool of happiness evaporates rapidly.

12 CHOICES FOR HAPPINESS

We need to choose to be happy every day - it doesn't just happen. This is my series on 12 choices for Happiness

KEEPING OUR HAPPINESS ALIVE

One of the most popular series of posts I wrote were the ones from last year on How I lost my happiness and how I found it again. I've been thinking about happiness a lot lately and how easy it is to lose it when we slip into bad habits or when we forget how to nurture it.

MY WINTER KNITTING PROJECT

when the weather outside is frightful it's time to warm up with a little knitting

WINTER DOWN UNDER

While the rest of the world is basking in Summer, it's the middle of Winter down here in the Southern Hemisphere and apparently it was time to take on a new project. My friend Julie has been knitting throw rugs for her family for the last couple of years and finally convinced me to start one of my own. Now, for those who know me as the AntiCraft you will realize that this was no small undertaking on my part. 

So, with that in mind I thought I'd do a quick update on what I've been filling my time with in between blogging, Facebooking, Pinteresting, working, and reading (it's nice to have a bit of variety)......

5 WAYS TO RE-FILL YOUR EMPTY NEST

When the nest feels too empty, it's time to look at ways to refill it

WHEN YOUR NEST FEELS EMPTY

No matter how well we handle the departure of our adult "kids" from the family nest, there will always be times when we feel a bit lost. For some it happens immediately, for others it happens spasmodically, but it happens and we need to find ways to re-fill our nests and move on with our own lives. I've put together five suggestions that might help you fill up your life again.

MIDLIFE AND BEING A HEN

Discovering I am a Happy Empty Nester (HEN) - well most of the time

HEN-DOM

A couple of years ago I wrote a post about being a HEN - an anacronym for Happy Empty Nester. I was patting myself nicely on the back and thinking how successful I was in the launching of my chicks and celebrating the joys of the empty nesting box.

AN UPDATE ON BEING 'ENOUGH'

an update on my word for 2017 "Enough" - am I enough or too much?

ENOUGH

Well, we're more than halfway through the year so I thought it might be timely to look back at my Word for 2017 - "Enough" that I wrote about at the beginning of January. Time has certainly flashed by and in the process I think my idea of "Enough" has changed slightly and now has a different emphasis.

5 TIPS FOR BECOMING MORE "REAL"

5 tips for becoming more "real" - discovering and owning who you really are

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE BECOMING "REAL"?

Sometimes we lose track of who we are and start wondering where to go to get back on track. Today I've put together five starting points to re-discovering the path to being authentically real and authentically yourself. We all need to start somewhere after all the years of being in the background while we nurtured those around us. So here are my five tips to getting started:

DEFINING A "REAL WOMAN"

How do we start living like 'real women'? It begins with defining the term

MEDIA'S DEFINITION OF "REAL WOMEN"

Social media bombards us with images of "real women" - from reality stars, to movie stars, to models, to politicians, to news anchors, and the list goes on and on. But is that really who a "real" woman is? Most of the time these women have been groomed to fit a reality that is not what I see as "real" or even desirable. Who wants to live on lettuce leaves until they die, or constantly be camera ready in case someone takes your photo?

MIDLIFE AND BEING A PERENNIAL

The Perennials. We are ever-blooming, relevant people of all ages who live in the present time,

A NEW DEFINITION OF MIDLIFE

Recently I saw an article on Facebook (where else do you see articles these days?) that introduced me to a new descriptive term for Midlifers - apparently we can now refer to ourselves as "Perennials". 

The term originated from a US internet entrepreneur Gina Pell, who defines the term in the following way:

5 HAPPY AND HEALTHY TIPS

5 tips simple tips towards being happier and healthier

I am the last person in the world to tell people how to be fit and fabulous, but I can give you five tips that help me accept myself and the Midlife woman I have become. It's not about lying on the couch eating peeled grapes (though that does sound good), it's about finding simple things that work and feel right for you - not for the people around you, but for you personally. So, here's my five tips:

TAKING MY EXERCISING UP A NOTCH

When you know in your heart (and your waistline) that you need to up your exercise

FITNESS QUEEN (OR NOT)

I'd love to tell you that the photo above is me at the gym. I'd love to tell you that I am the Queen of Midlife Fitness. I'd love to tell you that I can't wait to get out of bed every morning so that I can run 10km before I eat my raw muesli and drink my green smoothie. But if I told you any of those things I'd be lying through my teeth.

THE BEST DIET FOR MIDLIFE

Forget what the experts say - this is my advice for the best Midlife diet


WHICH FAD DIET IS IT TODAY?

Have you noticed how much diet advice there is out there for women in Midlife? As we hit our 50's and menopause and a slowing metabolism settle in, the kilos creep on and we start reading all these articles everywhere on how to beat the midrift spread, or how to look like we're 30, or how to still look great in a bikini, or how to fight the muffin top etc.

5 BENEFITS OF LETTING GO

Letting go can be scary - but here are 5 great benefits we gain

TIME TO OPEN UP THAT FIST

Often we hold on to things for much longer than is healthy for us. When we finally open our clenched fist and let go of the toxic person or situation in our life we find there are benefits we never expected. Letting go of trying to control everyone and everything frees us to appreciate what we have in our life in its own right without having conditions placed on our acceptance of it.


TURNING OFF THE NEED TO MICRO-MANAGE

Learning that life doesn't need to be micro-managed can be so liberating

HEADACHES

When I was writing about my daith piercing on Monday, I got to thinking about why I had so many headaches in the first place. One of the biggest causes was stress, and my days were full of stress because I needed to micro-manage every detail of my life. This included what I was doing at any given time and also the people who were around me while I was busy doing it. It kicks in big time when I'm facing a new situation or something a bit scary - it seems to be my go-to method for dealing with new situations.

A DAITH PIERCING UPDATE

my daith piercing update - 12 months post-piercing

12 MONTHS SINCE I DID THE DEED

It's a bit scary putting a close up of my ear and face on the screen - all those years of wear and tear are on display for all to see, but you can't show a picture of an ear piercing without having part of your face end up in the picture!

It's been just over 12 months since I took the plunge and had my daith pierced to see if it would help the chronic debilitating headaches I dealt with several times a week for most of my adult life. I wrote a post on it last year after a few months (HERE) to describe what it had been like and what my thoughts were on the process.

5 QUOTES ON OWNING YOUR LIFE

Five Things Friday ~ 5 Quotes on Owning Your Life and who you're becoming


FINDING YOURSELF AND YOUR LEGACY

This week I've been writing about creating a legacy and about Midlife being the time to change things up a gear or two. Time to own who you are as a person and to be authentic. Time to put yourself higher up the list of priorities and to accept any fallout that might come with changing things in your life.

Here are five quotes that I loved that speak to making yourself a priority and not tolerating judgement from others or pandering to the needs of people who don't support you as you move forward in life. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

I GET TO DECIDE WHO I AM

I get to decide who I am - no correspondence will be entered into

MIDLIFE CHANGES

On Monday I wrote about Midlife and having the courage to accept the changes that come with it, because those changes are what lead us to creating our legacy. I mentioned in there that a lot of Midlifers are still learning how to own their values and identity because they've pushed those things aside and put themselves second.

CREATING OUR LEGACY IN MIDLIFE

When we allow the changes in Midlife to happen - we begin to create our legacy

CHANGES, CHANGES EVERYWHERE

I came across this quote on a post about change from Michelle at Bad Gramma:

When you find the courage to change at Midlife, a miracle happens. Your character is opened, deepened, strengthened, softened. You return to your soul’s highest values. You are now prepared to create your legacy: an imprint of your dream for our world—a dream that can fully come true in The Second Half of Life.  
Angeles Arrien

5 BENEFITS OF THE EMPTY NEST

5 benefits of the empty nest - it's not all doom and gloom

WHAT DO WE DO WITH OUR EMPTY NEST?

The empty nest is a strange time of adjustment - we go from having a house full of kids who are coming and going, eating, sleeping, talking, driving, socialising, arguing, and generally driving us crazy.....to a house that is just the two of us with all those demands gone and an uncanny amount of space and time suddenly available. 

What do we do about it? Do we mourn the fact that the noise and action have departed and wait for the occasional visits? Do we look at each other and wonder who we are and how we got here? Or do we stop and appreciate all that is returning to us and start building afresh on that foundation? 

For me, it's a matter of letting go constantly and reminding myself of the benefits that come from having our house and lives returned to us. Today I'm sharing five blessings that the empty nest brings.

A LITTLE FAMILY SNAPSHOT

Donnybrook, Western Australia - giant playground

FAMILY TIME

I sometimes write about how much I miss living near my adult kids. I often feel like I miss out on the little day to day connections because of the distance between us. But then we get a visit from them or we pop up to say hello and have some time together and all that is forgotten in a heartbeat. The benefit of distance is that those lovely visits and catch-ups always last a bit longer because there has been so much time and effort put into the process of getting together.

A NEW LESSON FROM THE EMPTY NEST

The empty nest always has new lessons to teach us - are we ready to learn them?

THINKING I KNEW IT ALL

After several years of being an Empty Nester I thought I knew it all. I've written quite a few posts about how to make it work and how to let your children fly the nest and not cling on to their tailfeathers as they take off. I've waxed lyrical about re-discovering life with my husband and the peace and quiet of living with a couple of cats and no kids. I write about how much I love them coming home to visit and how lovely it is to have the family back together for a while.

5 QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BLOG

Answering five questions about Cresting the Hill


QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A couple of years ago I took part in a question and answer blog link up that was all about what and why you blog + a few other random questions thrown in for good measure. I thought I'd leave out the random questions and just focus on the ones to do with my blog and the motivation etc behind it. So here we go....

SOME OF MY BLOGGING DISCOVERIES

After blogging away diligently for a couple of years, here are a few things I've discovered


LOOKING BACK

I have been busy looking back at the beginning stages of my blog and I can't believe how far I've come. The simple things I've learned and discovered and the tools and techniques that are second nature now that I'm using them almost every day. So, I thought I'd list a few things I've learned in the last couple of years and how they've helped me lift my blogging game from crass beginner to sort-of-competent blogger.

A FRESH START

Taking the plunge and getting a template that has given my blog a fresh new look - loving it!

A FRESH START

As anyone who has ever read my blog would notice, I’ve had the same “look” to Cresting the Hill  for probably about 2 years.  I’ve played around with it a bit and then settled into keeping it that way because I didn’t want to majorly mess anything up. In the process of all my little nips and tucks, I sort of had things working the way I wanted them to, but there were little things that had gotten lost along the way. 

5 THINGS I HATE

Five Things Friday ~ 5 things I hate

I've often written about 5 things I love, or 5 things that are fabulous, or 5 things I'm grateful for. So I thought (seeing I may be dying alone with my cat!) I'd do 5 things I hate to change things up a bit. So here they are, in no particular order.

DISCOVERING MORE OF ME

Life changes, people change, how we move through those changes is how we grow

CRESTING THE HILL

When I named my blog Cresting The Hill, it was to recognize that the hardest part of the climb was behind me - all those years of learning, and growing, and adapting, of parenting, working in not-so-fabulous jobs, of scrimping and saving, and putting myself last were behind me. It was time to stop and breathe and enjoy the view.

FINDING MY VOICE

It's taken until Midlife to recognize my significance and to find my voice

FINDING MY VOICE

I've been asked many times about why I put my thoughts and my life on display in a blog for other people to read and I gave my answer to that a few weeks ago HERE. But there is another reason for writing this blog, one I've only just come to recognize and acknowledge. And this other reason is that my blog has given me my voice.

People who know me would say that I have a voice that is loud and clear (sometimes too loud and clear!) and in some aspects they would be right about that. I am quite vocal and I do enjoy a good discussion/argument/interaction. But, at the same time, my voice has been controlled by others for most of my life.

5 QUOTES ON QUANTUM CHANGE

Five Quotes relating to how you feel after a Quantum Change occurs in your life

WHEN OUR WORLD VIEW SHIFTS

The last couple of weeks I've been writing about Quantum Change and what happens to our values after we experience a Quantum Moment. These five quotes all spoke to me about the shift in attitude that occurs once our values move from being focused on other people, to being focused on our own growth and self worth. 


LETS DIE WITHOUT REGRETS

Dying Without Regrets - You get to decide how you are going to spend the rest of your life

ARE WE CHOOSING WISELY?

Life is short and it's too easy to let it run away from you while you are trying to be all things to all people. As a woman I think it becomes a snare and an obligation where you can allow yourself to be taken for granted and lose yourself in the process.

We forget that we have choices - more choices than women our age have ever had. It's time to use those choices to decide how to spend the years ahead wisely. 

WHAT IF I DIE ALONE WITH MY CAT?

What if the changes in my values and deciding to place my needs first, mean I die alone with my cat?

WHAT BRINGS MEANING TO LIFE?

It's strange how our values change and when they do, it shifts our whole focus in life. A couple of months ago I contributed to a post that Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty wrote on what brings meaning to life. My answer (and the response from most of the others) zeroed in on our relationships with our family and friends being the most important factors. The only person who listed different factors was Denyse - and reading back now, I think she is far closer to the crux of it all than I was when I sent my list in.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU | 30 ODD QUESTIONS

30 Odd Questions - my answers for the link up - a great opportunity to get to know each other


30 ODD QUESTIONS

As part of the 30 Odd Questions link up with Debbie from the Doglady's Den – here are my answers to the thirty questions in the Challenge. The link up lasts for a little while yet, so feel free to visit her blog, copy the questions and then link up your answers.

5 THINGS I DON'T HAVE TO DO

5 things I don't have to do now that I'm a grown up

After writing about Quantum Change on Monday I remembered some of the changes being over 50 has brought about - here are five of things that I came up with a while ago that I don't have to do any more because I'm a grown-up:


CREATING A LIFE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH

It's time to do the things you need to make a life you're happy with

CHANGING MY MINDSET

On Monday I wrote about Quantum Moments - one of the biggest Quantum Moment outcomes for me was giving myself permission to not be the "oldest child" super responsible person I'd always been. I stopped thinking about how much I needed to stay in the job I hated because it was our primary source of income - and instead, started to think about what would give me a life I wouldn't want to escape from.

MY QUANTUM MOMENT AND VALUE SHIFT

When you discover that a Midlife Crisis is actually a Quantum Moment


A QUANTUM CHANGE

I've been discovering a whole new concept called Quantum Change and how it affects our values and wanted to share it on the blog today. It started with a reference to value shifts in this TED talk on Happinessand from there I was on a bit of a mission to figure out what Quantum Change actually was and how it affects people because it sounded very similar to the process I went through a few years ago.

Five Things Friday ~ 5 Reasons for Blogging

Five reasons why we blog - I'm sure there's many more but these are the top five in my opinion

Have you ever wondered why people blog? There are probably as many reasons as there are bloggers, but these seem to be the top five from what I've encountered. Some of them are combined together but I think at least one reason could be ticked by every blogger.

Wind-Back Wednesday ~ Finding My Blogging Community

Finding My Blogging Community and sharing the journey together

FAILING SISTERHOOD 101

I have never been very good at women's groups and get-togethers. I always feel like the odd one out because I'm not really a girly girl. This might be the fall out from growing up with two brothers and a mother who wasn't very good at mother/daughter bonding rituals.

Midlife Monday ~ Why Do You Blog?

"Why do you blog?"   How do you answer this question?

WHY DO YOU BLOG?

If you are a blogger then you probably hear the question "Why do you blog?" on a fairly regular basis. I've read articles on how to give an answer to this question and how important it is to have an answer ready that engages with the person who asked. This is because a lot of bloggers are in the business of making money from their blog and a question like "Why do you blog?" can be the beginning of a partnership and/or a new source of income.

Five Things Friday ~ 5 Quotes For Mothers Day

Five Quotes about mothers, kids and parenting for Mothers Day



FIVE OF MY FAVOURITE PARENTING QUOTES

Keeping it simple for Five Things Friday - here are five of my favourite quotes that relate to mothers, parenting and launching your children - all those things we celebrate on Mothers Day this Sunday. I hope you enjoy them too.

Wind-Back Wednesday ~ Mothers Day (from a Daughter's Perspective)

We all love to our kids to remember Mothers Day - but do we do the same for our own Mums?

MY MOTHERS DAY

Mothers Day brings all kind of feelings my way. I get caught up in waiting for my "kids" to call and reading posts on facebook from friends who have their kids nearby and put up happy snaps. I always seem to want more from the day than what it actually provides.

Midlife Monday ~ Mothers Day - It is What it is

Mothers Day - is it ever okay to admit that you feel a little left out?

WARNING: NOT YOUR USUAL FLUFFY MOTHERS DAY POST!!


A VERY BRADY MOTHERS DAY

Every year when Mothers Day rolls around I read and write wonderful things about being a mother and how meaningful Mothers Day is. I morph into Carol Brady and start thinking warm fuzzy thoughts about my children and what a wonderful mother I was, how much time and love I invested in them, how that has paid off so well as they've become wonderful adults contributing to society etc etc.

Five Things Friday ~ 5 Of My Lesser Superpowers

Five Of My Lesser Superpowers - do you have superpowers that you haven't even noticed?

LESSER SUPERPOWERS

On Monday I talked about my Secret Superpowers and while I was writing about them I realized I had a few minor ones that I could share in today's Five Things Friday post. I'm not sure that everyone would consider them Superpowers, but they don't apply to everyone on the planet, so I'm claiming them as mine. So here we go with Five Lesser Superpowers that I manifest regularly.

Wind-back Wednesday ~ What Does Abundance Mean To You?

What defines "Abundance" for you - is it wealth and material possessions? Or is it something else entirely?

HOW DO YOU DEFINE "ABUNDANCE"?

Abundance is such a rich and meaningful word......but I got to thinking how the meaning of "abundance" changes depending on your world view and what you consider to be important in life. For those in Third World countries, abundance is having enough food to eat with some left over for later. For those in war torn countries, it is having somewhere safe for  your family to live. For those in countries that repress their people, it is having an education or the right to free speech. So abundance can mean something different depending on who you are and where you live.

Midlife Monday ~ What's Your Superpower?

We all have a secret Superpower or two - it's just not always what we expect

SUPERHEROES AND SUPERPOWERS

Since time immemorial human beings have envied those fictitious characters in comic books and on our screens, who have Superpowers. We've grown up with Superman, The Fantastic Four, Wonder Woman, Spider Man, The Bionic Man, and countless others. 

I think we all secretly long for a Superpower of our own, but what if we already had Superpowers that slipped under the radar? What if I have something I think is normal, but others would kill for (well, maybe not kill for, but at least be a little bit jealous of?) This got me thinking and I came up with THREE Secret Superpowers that I wield with ease...

The A-Z Challenge ~ Why Midlife's Fabulous ~ Zest for Life

The A-Z Challenge ~ Why Midlife's Fabulous ~ Zest for Life

LOOK WITHIN

Living with Zest isn't about finding a "thing", but rather it's about finding yourself. It's about discovering who you truly are and igniting something within you that wants to know more and discover more. It's about being the real you and not the person who is trying to please everybody else.