BEING SECOND BEST
Words cannot explain how much I love the quote above! Fifty years of having a 'first born' mentality of trying to please all the people in my life and putting my thoughts and preferences second have now gone out the window! I think it's been a generational thing for women of my age to have put themselves last when it came to trying to keep everyone happy and smooth the waters.
TIMES CHANGEOne of the benefits of an empty nest is that there are less feathers to ruffle. Even the poor old dog is now in dog heaven, so the only person I have to keep on the right side of is my husband - and even that is on a needs only basis! Running around after everybody has finally stopped and I don't have to worry about whether I have hurt someone's feelings or upset someone's apple cart.
We are all adults and in charge of our own lives. We can each take ownership of our own beliefs and feelings and I don't have to be the responsible one anymore - what a sense of relief and release! I completely understand that people may feel hurt or overlooked or misunderstood, but ultimately, it's their choice. I would never deliberately set out to offend someone or to cause hurt, so if that is perceived then it needs to be addressed, but not at the expense of my thoughts or feelings.
IT'S MY TIME TO BLOOM
It feels selfish sometimes to put myself and my feelings first, but I think I deserve to have my time in the sun. I think I need to have a high enough opinion of myself that I can take my stand and not bow to the pressure of keeping other people happy at my own expense. Sometimes it's easier to give in and to know I made someone else happy in the process, but there needs to be balance and an acknowledgement of my own value too. I've reached the point where I'm a little tired of always taking the back seat in life rather than making my needs a priority.
SETTING SOME BOUNDARIES
This second half of my life is going to be about self-respect and self-worth. I refuse to pander to other people who seem to get their own way by being loud or arrogant. I will just quietly and firmly hold my position and get on with my life. Finding peace in amongst the drama is one of the side benefits - no more trying to keep everyone happy - they can fend for themselves and leave me out of it.
The youth and young adults of today are much better at maintaining their boundaries - I think we taught them well. Now I'm putting a few of those hard learned lessons to practice in my own life and reaping the benefits. Self-care is mighty powerful!