CHANGING MY MINDSET
On Monday I wrote about Quantum Moments - one of the biggest Quantum Moment outcomes for me was giving myself permission to not be the "oldest child" super responsible person I'd always been. I stopped thinking about how much I needed to stay in the job I hated because it was our primary source of income - and instead, started to think about what would give me a life I wouldn't want to escape from.
LEARNING FROM A SETH GODIN QUOTE
But then my life changed, and my world view shifted too. I had assumed that every responsible adult was in a job where they laboured away all year and the light at the end of the tunnel was their few weeks of vacation time. But when you reach a "certain age" you start to figure out that there is more to life than the daily grind. I started thinking about what is important and what needed to be left behind. When you hit Midlife there is less time to waste waiting around for things to change of their own accord.
GETTING STUCK IN THE WRONG JOBS
I spent years (maybe even decades) in jobs where I have lived from vacation to vacation. I would go to work and do all that was expected of me, plus a little bit more, and then go home and get up the next day and do it all again. My life looked a bit like a shampoo commercial - "Lather, Rinse and Repeat" over and over again ad infinitum. I thought that was normal until I had my Quantum Moment and started thinking about changing my perspective on Midlife.
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY?
Rather than seeing myself as a "has been" who was stuck in a work rut until I could bow out and retire, I started thinking about what would actually make me happy (whoa! big change of focus.) The idea that life was short and there was no reason to stay in a thankless job kept swirling around in my head. Taking the plunge and leaving the daily drudge behind was scary but so much better than sitting around waiting for an annual vacation for my chance of a brief moment of escape.WHERE I AM NOW
My life now is so much simpler, I work less days and have more than enough time to myself. I have time to stop and smell a few roses and I don't have a nagging sense of resentment because I actually like my new job. Life isn't perfect - I'm not rolling in dollar bills or sipping martinis on the deck of a yacht, but what I have made for myself over the last couple of years, is a re-invented life that I don't need to escape from. I'm not counting down the days until my next vacation, I'm not stuck in a never ending cycle of working more than I want to, I'm free to make my choices and enjoy the results of the last thirty or so years of nose-to-the-grindstone work. Life as a Midlifer is pretty darn good....Seth was right after all!
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I think midlife is a time where you do start thinking about life beyond the daily grind. How wonderful that your Quantum Moment led you down a better path and to a happier place.
ReplyDeleteI think life slaps you over the back of the head sometimes Karen and tells you to wake up and smell the roses before it's too late - I'm so glad I did.
DeleteI am glad you found a happier path! I remember going to work and thinking.... I just need to make it to coffee time. Ok.. just a couple more hours to lunch time. Alright... almost coffee time. 2 more hours and I can go home! Get up and do it again tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI was the same Michele - the days dragged and I felt completely unappreciated. I still have days that aren't fabulous, but on the whole, the change of employer and job was a really big plus for me.
DeleteThis room bugs especially true this week. Since leaving Sydney ive felt the pressure lift - like taking a heavy backpack off. I'm back this week being the oldest responsible sibling & it's back again. Just like that. Plus I'm in the office. Having the break has shown me what's possible. #teamlovinlife
ReplyDeleteThat oldest and most responsible sibling thing falls on my shoulders too Jo - it certainly sucks at times. I hope you're back into cruisy mode soon and heading towards a more restful time x
DeleteYES! I need to give my hubster that Seth Godin quote ;-)
ReplyDeleteIt's a great quote Janet - and even better when you put it into practice (speaking from experience here)
DeleteOh you are speaking my language! I spent decades in the daily grind living from one holiday to the next. Surviving! Doing what was expected of me. Sacrificing my life for the benefit of others. Being responsible. It's been 5 years now since I walked away from that life with the realisation that my health was suffering and that I was getting older and less life was left than I had lived. I wanted the rest of my life to be spent how I wanted to spend it. I wanted to be healthier and happier. I wanted less stress in my life. I could go on and on about this topic. LOL BTW - I love Seth Godin quote! :-) #TeamLovinLife
ReplyDeleteMin - we are soul sisters on this one (as well as the fact that you are a Diana Gabaldon fan!) and I felt exactly the same way when I left my old job - I think I just wished I'd done it five years earlier when the decay first started to set in. Better late than never though - right? :)
DeleteLeanne---it's almost like you could see my life! Not that I hated being a dentist, but it wasn't exactly what made me happy!!
ReplyDeleteI love this message, now I just have to get my hubby on board!!
Jodie
www.jtouchofstyle.com
Wow Jodie - I didn't realize you were a dentist in a previous life - you even look like a dentist (if that's a "thing" to look like!) I worked as a dental hygenist/therapist/receptionist for decades and it was such a relief to leave it behind me!
DeleteSo true! So very true ...
ReplyDelete#teamlovinlife
Life is definitely what you make it isn't it Leanne? :)
DeleteLeanne, your post will be featured on Friday. Our crew obviously are inspired by your writings. Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteKathleen
Blogger's Pit Stop
oh wow! Kathleen - I love that people read my stuff - and I love the Pit Stop so win/win :)
DeleteThis is a dangerous post for me to read right now. I'm currently sitting at a cross-roads waiting to hear back on something and wondering what, if anything, I will do if I don't get the answer I'm expecting. Do you ever feel like God is saying, "Here's your sign!"
ReplyDeleteIt's so tricky when you think you want something and wonder what you'll do if it doesn't eventuate isn't it Dianna? I have had things work out that turned out to be not-so-wonderful after all, and I've missed out on things that have ended up with me in a better place than I anticipated. I think God wants us to choose what feels right and fits into our values and if it's not exactly what you expected, there will be something else that turns up and is just as good for you down the track. Good luck with your crossroads choice xx
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