tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post1996146764210648232..comments2024-03-28T08:54:28.654+08:00Comments on Cresting The Hill: PARENTING LESSON #1 ~ LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKESLeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-39036851890177354182016-08-12T09:09:22.750+08:002016-08-12T09:09:22.750+08:00I know someone (I won't say who - it's not...I know someone (I won't say who - it's not secretly me though!) who is very much in a cycle of passing problems down generations. It's very unfortunate, but the children have been so damaged by the parents' behaviours and are so used to seeing it all as normal, that they have just become complicit in supporting and repeating abusive behaviour. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13006727330831002627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-83735085488059296612016-08-11T20:07:48.225+08:002016-08-11T20:07:48.225+08:00Thanks Molly - I know that a lot of fathers weren&...Thanks Molly - I know that a lot of fathers weren't around all the time for their children back in our days. But if you still felt loved then you knew that your dad was doing his best. I think my problem is I never felt like I was seen by my dad and that's the sad part. I hope we did better for our kids.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-33822918033948054882016-08-11T20:06:19.673+08:002016-08-11T20:06:19.673+08:00I think if you learn from your parents' mistak...I think if you learn from your parents' mistakes then it wasn't all for nothing and that is what I hold onto every day Janice!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-75684155859939909942016-08-11T20:05:43.852+08:002016-08-11T20:05:43.852+08:00It's sad that we have to use them as a negativ...It's sad that we have to use them as a negative role model - but at least we know what NOT to do :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-14798495690049248382016-08-11T08:57:09.407+08:002016-08-11T08:57:09.407+08:00My mother was the nurturer in my family of origin ...My mother was the nurturer in my family of origin and Dad showed his love through his provision. I adored my mother and we had a close relationship with the usual teenage issues thrown in that we recovered from without permanent damage. I always wanted more from my father but grew to appreciate him and see his unique way of showing his love for us. I have always tried to be there for my son but have had those inevitable times when I've let him down. Nonetheless, he does know he is one lucky guy and as he copes with his own children, appreciates me all the more. Glad you turned things around in your own family, Leanne, as it sounds like you've done a wonderful job with your children. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14664097336440373659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-73061919635268379852016-08-11T05:38:41.910+08:002016-08-11T05:38:41.910+08:00Hi Leanne,
My mom and I locked horns when I was gr...Hi Leanne,<br />My mom and I locked horns when I was growing up. I always told myself I wouldn't repeat her mistakes but I'd learn from them.<br />JaniceJanice Waldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15298688562236073165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-52479189195414719072016-08-06T09:47:05.872+08:002016-08-06T09:47:05.872+08:00This is great. I always try with a valiant effort ...This is great. I always try with a valiant effort to make sure not to do what my parents did<br /> Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11116631453049795365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-18438042491297063902016-08-05T21:58:38.291+08:002016-08-05T21:58:38.291+08:00I'm glad I learned from their mistakes Kathlee...I'm glad I learned from their mistakes Kathleen, but you're right, it would have been nice to see my parents adapt more and make more of an effort as they saw what parenting could be like.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-28060336216645702442016-08-05T16:42:02.781+08:002016-08-05T16:42:02.781+08:00So sorry for what you and your brothers have been ...So sorry for what you and your brothers have been through. Your parents were probably bought up in the 'seen and not heard' culture. Each generation since has changed and slowly the culture has changed because of people like you who have seen a better way. It is sad that your parents have not taken note of this change and made some attempt to change their own attitude. It is so wonderful how you have transitioned and your children have had the advantage of a happier home.<br /><br />Kathleen<br />Blogger's Pit StopKathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16559092855185240910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-48760123171593903442016-08-04T18:29:24.680+08:002016-08-04T18:29:24.680+08:00Thanks so much Lois - it is nice to know that you ...Thanks so much Lois - it is nice to know that you don't have to repeat the mistakes made on you. I hope I've managed to make my kids' childhood a much happier memory than mine was :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-84665556412290462242016-08-04T18:28:28.695+08:002016-08-04T18:28:28.695+08:00Your childhood sounds worse than mine by far Janet...Your childhood sounds worse than mine by far Janet - it just doesn't seem fair sometimes, but I'm so glad you moved forward too and have great relationships with your kids - it's just the best isn't it? :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-4197919499221536032016-08-04T11:25:57.344+08:002016-08-04T11:25:57.344+08:00I'm sorry you had the experiences you had and ...I'm sorry you had the experiences you had and hope you realize how many people you're helping by sharing your stories. It reminds me of that quote about not being able to write the beginning of our life story but remembering we have the power to write the rest of it. You are powerful!Lois Alter Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00457009348917459495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-27451248487300382222016-08-04T10:33:54.452+08:002016-08-04T10:33:54.452+08:00Mine was one of those difficult childhoods as my m...Mine was one of those difficult childhoods as my mum had a severe mental illness which got progressively worse after she split with my dad when I was 10. She was abusive and violent and we were estranged for many years before she died. I determined a long time ago NOT to repeat her mistakes, and got counselling when I did find myself getting too angry at the kids and lashing out. Now my kids are grown we have the BEST relationship, so I can say I definitely learned what NOT to do as a parent!Janet Camillerihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14040750107420193756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-65839899680440117072016-08-04T10:22:48.637+08:002016-08-04T10:22:48.637+08:00It does indeed Rebecca - it teaches us lessons and...It does indeed Rebecca - it teaches us lessons and if we're willing to put in the effort then we can use the bad to move us forward to making different choices.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-55406262350067614502016-08-04T10:22:00.553+08:002016-08-04T10:22:00.553+08:00Doreen I feel for you so much with your distance f...Doreen I feel for you so much with your distance from your mum. It's so hard to not have that relationship with our parents that we deserve. I don't know how we figured out how to do it better but I'm so glad we did - and I love seeing my kids turn into such great human beings.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-89634351298036255962016-08-04T10:20:39.344+08:002016-08-04T10:20:39.344+08:00Thanks Cathy - I think it's good to share our ...Thanks Cathy - I think it's good to share our stories and to know that we aren't the only ones who experienced less than perfect childhoods. Often you only hear the great stuff because nobody wants to hear the less than lovely things.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-11532874965764805252016-08-04T10:19:33.820+08:002016-08-04T10:19:33.820+08:00I have really appreciated hearing about other fami...I have really appreciated hearing about other families that were less than ideal Lisa - it definitely made us the people we are today - I'm not sure that's a good thing sometimes! I'm a work in progress and I hope my kids can see how far I've come from where I started!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-45769816459744793012016-08-04T10:18:02.563+08:002016-08-04T10:18:02.563+08:00Thanks so much Sue - I guess we can't choose t...Thanks so much Sue - I guess we can't choose the family we come from, but we certainly can choose how we parent our own kids and the family we create in the process. There is always a silver lining xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-91974787295328991722016-08-04T10:17:06.345+08:002016-08-04T10:17:06.345+08:00Thanks Carol - you might want to adopt a few by th...Thanks Carol - you might want to adopt a few by the end of this series :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-17749253285641506112016-08-04T10:16:46.086+08:002016-08-04T10:16:46.086+08:00I like the "new and different mistakes" ...I like the "new and different mistakes" Carla - because we'll never get it right (and that's okay) it's striving to do our best that really counts.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-18447584099849220092016-08-04T08:55:06.465+08:002016-08-04T08:55:06.465+08:00I can't imagine going through that type of neg...I can't imagine going through that type of neglect but thankfully, you realized what was happening and have changed your life and your family's life for the better. Often adversity makes you stronger.Rebecca Olkowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17136102257837831028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-70272408042781056762016-08-04T07:20:20.632+08:002016-08-04T07:20:20.632+08:00I just want to hug you! I too have tried very hard...I just want to hug you! I too have tried very hard not to repeat the mistakes my mother made, I still don't speak with her. My father wasn't perfect by any means but he apologized to me and we became very close. I was devastated when he passed away too young.<br />I feel like I stood in the gap and could not be more proud of the parents my kids are to my grandkids.<br />How was it that we knew not to repeat what our parents did and thank God we did.Doreen McGettiganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11691803968607905576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-33397260055676020832016-08-04T06:59:42.952+08:002016-08-04T06:59:42.952+08:00Your story made me very sad and I'm sorry that...Your story made me very sad and I'm sorry that this was your experience. You've done a fine job with your children, and as Jackie Kennedy said if you don't do that right then nothing else matters. So a lot matters with you, Leanne and it shows in your children. Kudos to you and your husband. Thanks for sharing your life with us.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01530651626467011526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-21527289397173042532016-08-04T06:48:52.013+08:002016-08-04T06:48:52.013+08:00I know where you're coming from. My dad never ...I know where you're coming from. My dad never said he loved me until I was over 30 and then it was in 3rd person (your dad loves ya!). He's now dying and says I love you. A lot. My mom is just insane. I love them both but I'm a far better parent by consciously doing the very opposite of anything they did. I always though our effed up family was the exception and was so ashamed of where I come from but as I age I hear so many other similar tales from fellow survivors. Sucks but you know what they say about what doesn't kill ya making ya stronger. We're twisted... but in interesting shapes, I suppose.Lisa @ Grandmas Briefshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16969179155988148054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-62981546865590642652016-08-04T04:29:12.035+08:002016-08-04T04:29:12.035+08:00I felt so sad reading your post Leanne and had now...I felt so sad reading your post Leanne and had now idea about your childhood even though we have become friend. It would be impossible not to carry the hurt and damage done but you have turned that around to be a positive and to pour your love into your own family. You can be proud that you have been a loving parent and provided your children with what they need most - Love! Take care my friend xxSue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15418770845484399102noreply@blogger.com