tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post2211088466589523932..comments2024-03-28T08:54:28.654+08:00Comments on Cresting The Hill: FINALLY FREEING MYSELF FROM STINGINESS AND SCARCITY AT 60Leannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-78627787629045750092024-02-08T08:56:12.631+08:002024-02-08T08:56:12.631+08:00Hi Stella - I can relate to the idea of scarcity i...Hi Stella - I can relate to the idea of scarcity in other areas because you're right, we do this to ourselves regularly. I think the "I'm not enough" mantra runs through my head and I don't even try because I assume I don't have what's needed. Being willing to step up means being willing to assume the best and to receive - something I definitely need to think about some more!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-22158268652614147962024-02-07T17:56:47.039+08:002024-02-07T17:56:47.039+08:00Scarcity mentality exists on so many different lev...Scarcity mentality exists on so many different levels, and with me, it manifests in opportunities. Whenever I see someone succeeding in something I want to succeed in (or think I should), I start thinking, "That's it, I missed my chance." It's a mentality of 'it's too late for me.' I try hard to reframe such thoughts in my mind. As they say, 'a closed hand cannot give — but it also cannot receive.' The same is true for a closed mind. I believe that the more we give, the more we get. I love the post and the story.Stellahttps://timeunbound.substack.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-23607275354045003202022-04-15T13:10:56.239+08:002022-04-15T13:10:56.239+08:00Hi Kirstin - we've always been VERY careful wi...Hi Kirstin - we've always been VERY careful with our finances and have focused on paying off our mortgage and staying out of debt. It definitely pays off in the long run and I'm so grateful to be mortgage free now we're hitting our 60's and our income has decreased even further. We don't need much and we don't have any big expenses on the horizon, so I'm working hard at shifting my 'frugal mindset' and loosening up a little (you can't take it with you!)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-31501622508428248462022-04-15T13:09:09.525+08:002022-04-15T13:09:09.525+08:00Hi Rowena - I find it intersting to see how others...Hi Rowena - I find it intersting to see how others view spending. Some do it so easily (my DIL offers to help me spend money because she's so good at it!) and others of us find it so hard to 'blow our dough'. I'm trying to be a little less tight fisted these days. We've worked very hard to be comfortable and our kids are well set with their own incomes and homes - so it's time to allow myself a little more financial freedom (especially when we have no plans to spend up big on travel etc). I come from a family of spenders, so I'm not sure how I managed to be the saver that I am - but I'm grateful for how it's set us up so securely as we now have less income.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-7921359443047359552022-04-15T11:30:54.225+08:002022-04-15T11:30:54.225+08:00That's so good Leanne. We've always had a ...That's so good Leanne. We've always had a budget and we've noticed over the years how it has freed us up. I have a hard time buying things for myself though, but I love to bless others. lol. This was so good and encouraging. It can be such a hard mindset to get out of. Kirstinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17792132554787453551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-19431336394058288972022-04-11T13:15:17.863+08:002022-04-11T13:15:17.863+08:00Hi Leanne,
You've clearly raised a very good t...Hi Leanne,<br />You've clearly raised a very good topic here. We're on one income these days due to my health and also it seems the teenage kids need me more than ever, and I do my writing and research and if anything experience a much more intellectually enriching experience than most paid work. <br />We have been scratching for money but we did buy in what seemed to be a considerably undervalued and unappreciated place right near the beach an hour North of Sydney. During the pandemic, property values have skyrocketed and we have a nest egg. Quite hard to fathom really and it's something we're sitting on and can't utilise but it's a big step forward. <br />My parents have helped out particularly with the kids' activities and our daughter's dance fees are really adding up now she's in the senior grades and wanting to go professional. <br />My husband and father are both very tight with money while my mother and daughter spend money like it's going out of style. My dad dreads them going shopping together. I'm not always the best myself. I am trying. We have more than enough stuff at home and I'm actually trying to do reverse accumulation. <br />Hope you have a great week.<br />Best wishes,<br />RowenaRowenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16888037107234940708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-50738579886881320862022-04-10T13:50:52.811+08:002022-04-10T13:50:52.811+08:00Hi Denyse - there's certainly a balance isn...Hi Denyse - there's certainly a balance isn't there? We can think we're doing the right thing - by depriving ourselves, or by being too generous....both result in a less than ideal outcome. I'm glad you're looking after yourselves more now and letting the family be responsible for themselves. Fortunately our kids have never asked us for large sums of money and probably wouldn't accept us putting ourselves at risk to provide for them (they grew up knowing our finances were always pretty tight). It's been such a relief not to have been put in the position of having to say "no" to them. And also nice to be able to share a little of the bounty here and there without putting ourselves behind the eight ball in the process. xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-22214173297974475952022-04-10T13:48:07.780+08:002022-04-10T13:48:07.780+08:00Hi Melissa - you're so right about it being a ...Hi Melissa - you're so right about it being a "woman thing" where we are so good at nurturing others - and often fairly poor at nurturing ourselves. I think it's taken me far too long to loosen up a little and let some little fun things into my life. Dying with a few dollars more in the bank account after always denying myself seems rather silly now I think about it!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-81768304324168821332022-04-10T13:46:12.716+08:002022-04-10T13:46:12.716+08:00Hi Natalie - I stopped having "fun money"...Hi Natalie - I stopped having "fun money" because I never spent it! Now I'm just choosing to allow myself to like something and then actually decide to buy it - rather than walking away and telling myself I don't need it. I don't actually see many things that grab my attention, but a little splurge now and then is definitely going to be my Midlife plan xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-17792905033770482122022-04-10T13:44:20.365+08:002022-04-10T13:44:20.365+08:00Hi Susanne - I so agree with this, but knowing and...Hi Susanne - I so agree with this, but knowing and believing and applying are all needed, so I'm working on the process and I think I'm actually loosening up a little these days - but still have a way to go :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-14703056174727180852022-04-10T09:45:51.868+08:002022-04-10T09:45:51.868+08:00I know I commented on the FB page but in our case,...I know I commented on the FB page but in our case, I wish (ha!) we had been more stingy. We sadly gave our kids their so-called inheritance money to see them into houses via a mortgage on ours. I have shared this story enough but suffice to say, WE are no longer in a house of our own...and we are going OK. They sure know we have helped them enough and in fact, in recent years, yet again we helped in family emergencies and now they are paying this back to us. Hard when you want to share and give...as I do. But I am learning we come first. Denyse #weekendcoffeeshareDenyse Whelan.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16888810644186418559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-35759632988656571772022-04-09T08:49:50.296+08:002022-04-09T08:49:50.296+08:00Thank you so much for sharing this with us here. I...Thank you so much for sharing this with us here. I think this is an incredibly important topic and absolutely ties in to how we care for ourselves as women vs how we care for everyone else around us. Your challenge to yourself, "...to say Yes to myself as often as I say it to those I love." is a divine reminder for yourself and an wonderful inspiration to me. Thank you.Melishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02172789915210004225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-71513605023962559142022-04-09T08:36:45.308+08:002022-04-09T08:36:45.308+08:00Hi Leanne, I'm glad you're treating yourse...Hi Leanne, I'm glad you're treating yourself to something you enjoy. You're worth it! I'm in the camp 'you can't take it with you'. I set aside funds for savings and funds for fun experiences. I don't feel guilty when I spend my 'fun' money. Thank you for linking up with #weekendcoffeeshare.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05151221243588416460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-61496642079863725972022-04-08T21:11:56.480+08:002022-04-08T21:11:56.480+08:00Definitely yay to the free-er you! As others have ...Definitely yay to the free-er you! As others have said, life is here to enjoy and if we have the finances, we should definitely allow ourselves some treats!Susannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14438991878340855167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-16407167948393055582022-04-08T20:30:32.326+08:002022-04-08T20:30:32.326+08:00I can totally relate to what your Dad said Jo - an...I can totally relate to what your Dad said Jo - and our kids have given the same reply you did - to enjoy the fruits of our hard work and to not worry about them (they're earning tons more money than we ever did!) But breaking the habit (and the justification game!) is going to take a bit of time - slowly, slowly....Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-3573585959931250642022-04-08T06:45:47.108+08:002022-04-08T06:45:47.108+08:00A thought provoking post. It reminds me of the tim...A thought provoking post. It reminds me of the time my father told me he was buying new bowling balls and how that would reduce our inheritance by x amount. They'd always been careful, but now they no longer had to be, they had no idea how not to be. I told him he'd be better off buying the new bowling balls and enjoying life now than by worrying about how I'd waste it on something frivolous like premium economy air tickets when he was gone. Thankfully, both my parents are still with us. My point is, it's a hard habit to get out of and I think we all play that justification game.Jo Traceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01096756433952821037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-61308460765439548702022-04-07T19:46:10.189+08:002022-04-07T19:46:10.189+08:00Thanks Christina - I've been adding my little ...Thanks Christina - I've been adding my little purchases in at the end of each of my monthly wrap up posts (my little Fabulosity entries) and that might spur me on to keep myself accountable with having a little bit of fun with those seriously saved $$ :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-22608479553672701332022-04-07T19:44:55.272+08:002022-04-07T19:44:55.272+08:00Hi Pat - both of our children earn much larger inc...Hi Pat - both of our children earn much larger incomes than we ever have, and are far more financially secure than we were at their age. I don't think they're going to miss out on much if I spend a little bit of their inheritance before I get too ole - especially if I share some of it with them along the way. It just seems to have taken me a while to realize that I'm okay and secure and can loosen those purse strings a little before I die! And you should definitely go ahead and order those shorts :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-66059057917864660172022-04-07T19:42:44.425+08:002022-04-07T19:42:44.425+08:00Hi Deb - I don't want to be a miserly person e...Hi Deb - I don't want to be a miserly person either - especially with myself. I think I'm finally figuring out that I'm as important as any other member of my family and deserve those little treats too :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-41071551258823312182022-04-07T19:40:53.498+08:002022-04-07T19:40:53.498+08:00I'm so proud of you, Leanne! You are moving in...I'm so proud of you, Leanne! You are moving into the 60's, with such a new found confidence! I look forward to hearing about how you are going to treat yourself. xxx Christina DaggettAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04308832090357817026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-48439631971695881692022-04-07T09:25:40.573+08:002022-04-07T09:25:40.573+08:00I was nodding my head all the way through your pos...I was nodding my head all the way through your post. Money for me is security as well. I know we are financially secure but I was still looking at the prices on menu's and picking something more reasonably priced... even if I really wanted the more expensive food! I was waiting for things to be on sale (when they were then often not the color/size I needed). When we traveled (pre-Covid), I found cheap hotels and the smallest car (rental cost). I am just starting to realize that I can order the thing I want to eat on the menu...it will not turn me into a bag-lady. I can order the shorts I want at the beginning of the season when they have the size & color I want. I can get the monthly massage (which really does help me feel better). It's a hard mindset to switch, but I too am working on being OK spending money on myself. AS hubby pointed out, we actually don't have children to leave the money to - we don't need to be like our parents who were worried about leaving it to the kids!Pat WDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01058910207832261196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-68858350761793301992022-04-06T15:20:05.489+08:002022-04-06T15:20:05.489+08:00It's a big thing to admit to Leanne but I'...It's a big thing to admit to Leanne but I'm so glad you did and that you can see that your are worth spending money on! I don't want to be described as stingy! I do value what I buy and think that I deserve it. Great post and very relevant to us as we slowly age. Deb's Worldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12706654888846671781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-81999106790495207952022-04-06T08:22:32.652+08:002022-04-06T08:22:32.652+08:00Hi Joanne - it's funny you mentioned shoes bec...Hi Joanne - it's funny you mentioned shoes because I had to do the same thing with my walking shoes. Once I started having problems with my hip I needed much better quality shoes to reduce the impact - and they're expensive (much like your hiking shoes). They're a necessity - but boy I wear them down to the last millimetre of sole before I buy a replacement pair!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-43453171061281144912022-04-06T08:19:54.522+08:002022-04-06T08:19:54.522+08:00Janet I've been the same with travel - always ...Janet I've been the same with travel - always looking for the best value (lowest price) for where we stay and what we do and where we eat. Maybe that's why I haven't really missed travelling much during covid? It's so hard to add extra expense to something that is already a luxury isn't it?Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-10267982068773536112022-04-06T00:49:56.547+08:002022-04-06T00:49:56.547+08:00Oh I think you just described me to a T! I can be ...Oh I think you just described me to a T! I can be amazingly frugal and the one person I tend to spend the least on is myself. I mean don't get me wrong I buy new things but I definitely buy small/ cheap/ on sale things but won't splurge for larger purchases. My husband practically had to twist my arm to get me to buy some "real" hiking shoes as I was in sticker shock at the thought of a $165 for a pair of shoes... but I must admit I love them and my feet thank me for them just about every day! Joanne https://www.blogger.com/profile/01212516924342195282noreply@blogger.com