tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post3134597949240074375..comments2024-03-28T08:54:28.654+08:00Comments on Cresting The Hill: MIDLIFE MUSINGS - HOLDING ON LOOSELYLeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-62576339360835921752023-02-27T05:42:04.352+08:002023-02-27T05:42:04.352+08:00Learning something new everyday in my retirement j...Learning something new everyday in my retirement journey thank you for your support Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-46978436903026136642017-11-03T11:54:42.044+08:002017-11-03T11:54:42.044+08:00I have a tendency to hold on tightly to family due...I have a tendency to hold on tightly to family due to past, long ago experiences, and it took a lot of work to lighten up in order to let our son pole vault, which can be a very dangerous sport if not done correctly. Then, I was over-hard with our daughter telling her she needed to go to college {and not drop out like her mother...} but that didn't work. She needed a break. Thankfully everything turned out alright and life went on but I think I finally loosened enough to let them fly away to their own lives. :) They are happy to call home or visit. :) And, Hubby is happy that I blog and he can play his online game and "just be." We often don't do anything on weekends so he can just rest. Long, long days at work require that. ;) Took 30 years to get here...<br /><br />French Etherealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12418027431470700362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-76258015093609762172017-10-30T23:07:35.995+08:002017-10-30T23:07:35.995+08:00I can appreciate your post more than I would like ...I can appreciate your post more than I would like to admit, I'm a strong "holding on" type of mom myself. "If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09951553972086506259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-61511420849154123532017-10-30T20:41:22.007+08:002017-10-30T20:41:22.007+08:00It's the best thing for everyone to let them g...It's the best thing for everyone to let them go, but it's just figuring out the nuances of keeping the relationship in balance and not losing contact that's the tricky part isn't it Elise?Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-21444550837923943872017-10-30T20:37:18.459+08:002017-10-30T20:37:18.459+08:00You're so right Deb - it takes a while to get ...You're so right Deb - it takes a while to get the balance right with adult kids and to know that you can't hold on too tightly because it's not good for either party. Once you work out what is the best gentle way to hold and connect then life is good.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-52173364780033343082017-10-30T20:30:10.152+08:002017-10-30T20:30:10.152+08:00I'm glad it spoke to you Donna - it's been...I'm glad it spoke to you Donna - it's been a very long and hard lesson for me to learn - letting go of the tight fist and letting others choose whether they want to be part of my life has been tough but ultimately really worthwhile.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-37996176578963970542017-10-28T07:32:22.109+08:002017-10-28T07:32:22.109+08:00We raised our kids to be independent. Two live ab...We raised our kids to be independent. Two live about 400 miles away. I am working on adjusting to that but I am not holding them back.Dr. Elise Hohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12714767350556529080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-17942398684376628972017-10-28T05:39:37.523+08:002017-10-28T05:39:37.523+08:00Hi Leanne, I think there’s a fine line between hol...Hi Leanne, I think there’s a fine line between holding on too tightly and letting go completely. As parents it can be hard to find that balance especially as your children grow and leave the nest. Mine are now grown up and live far far away but we still manage to maintain good relationships. Sometimes I’d like to be more in their lives but it’s hard when we live so far away from each other. I just make the effort that when we do get together we enjoy ourselves and I try not to overwhelm them. Lovely thoughtful post! Congrats on your feature at Blogger’s Pit Stop too 😊Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444193007299838588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-69584582715982570572017-10-27T19:30:38.916+08:002017-10-27T19:30:38.916+08:00This made me cry, Leanne, but in a good way. I rea...This made me cry, Leanne, but in a good way. I really and I mean really needed to read this today and I popped by #BloggersPitStop and there it was, featured, as it should be (sorry I missed it when it first came out, but maybe I didn't "need" it as much then and so glad I found it now). Thank you. I'm off to share this so others can find it too. Hope this weekend treats you kindly. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06455529485372030771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-10834334035466515272017-10-24T09:37:49.506+08:002017-10-24T09:37:49.506+08:00Thanks so much for the feature Kathleen - I have s...Thanks so much for the feature Kathleen - I have so much respect for the Blogger's Pit Stop so always appreciate it when I'm featured.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-25671159355382990192017-10-24T09:37:13.457+08:002017-10-24T09:37:13.457+08:00I think it applies to all empty nesters Maria - kn...I think it applies to all empty nesters Maria - knowing how much to let go and how much to step back is such a tricky balance isn't it?Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-53759417616398499852017-10-24T09:36:33.056+08:002017-10-24T09:36:33.056+08:00Thanks for stopping by Carol - and for your positi...Thanks for stopping by Carol - and for your positive words :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-9192295993822676822017-10-24T06:35:27.659+08:002017-10-24T06:35:27.659+08:00This post has obviously met some needs and given i...This post has obviously met some needs and given input into thinking and practical aspects of life's adjustments. A feature of this post will give others the opportunity to consider these things.<br />Kathleen<br />Blogger's Pit StopKathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16559092855185240910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-75261870650023403992017-10-23T03:42:35.712+08:002017-10-23T03:42:35.712+08:00It was hard to let go, but you do it and hold your...It was hard to let go, but you do it and hold your head high and be strong. Thats what I did when I left my son at college.Great Post.<br />MariaMariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12392997875564299913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-88102001918330913992017-10-20T20:29:04.897+08:002017-10-20T20:29:04.897+08:00This applies in so many ways. Thanks for the thoug...This applies in so many ways. Thanks for the thought provoking post this morn.<br />Carol CassaraJulieOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09803100742619850069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-11030736967182850552017-10-20T14:49:29.398+08:002017-10-20T14:49:29.398+08:00The whole launching out of the nest stage is such ...The whole launching out of the nest stage is such a big one for mothers Jenny - knowing you've done your job but still feeling sad to see them go. It's definitely something that takes some getting used to - I hope you find the balance :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-88315348015679897392017-10-20T14:48:25.395+08:002017-10-20T14:48:25.395+08:00I've been giving some thought to my "word...I've been giving some thought to my "word for 2018" too Michele - I really like yours and how you're applying it. Now I'll have to give mine some serious consideration!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-6562335376412368532017-10-20T10:02:50.430+08:002017-10-20T10:02:50.430+08:00I SO needed to read this post. As soon as i saw i...I SO needed to read this post. As soon as i saw it at Blogger's Pit Stop, I knew I had to hop over. With two sons spreading their wings, I have all the feelings of wanting to hold on. However, you are right on about needing to hold on loosely.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12142106967238998286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-3040303413818622972017-10-20T09:48:36.469+08:002017-10-20T09:48:36.469+08:00I love this Leanne. I have a tendency to hold ont...I love this Leanne. I have a tendency to hold onto things tightly. My new word for the new year is going to be light- hold things lightly, walk through the world lightly, feel light and joy and be lighter in spirit. Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16638777178568450491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-31563669373580031382017-10-17T21:46:46.357+08:002017-10-17T21:46:46.357+08:00I've learned a similar lesson with our adult k...I've learned a similar lesson with our adult kids too Denyse - let them set the boundaries and don't expect that they have the same sense of obligation that we had. I'm finding my elderly in-laws are becoming more grasping and needy and it is definitely something I hope to avoid as we age!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-57611509916902357972017-10-17T12:31:09.791+08:002017-10-17T12:31:09.791+08:00Interesting and very helpful post, Leanne. In my l...Interesting and very helpful post, Leanne. In my learning via buddhist-predominated teachings of Pema Chodron and Jack Kornfield I know that we need not be attached to anything. Good or bad. I know that when I am trying to get some contact with my grown kids and grandkids it can only be done when there is a willingness to do so. So, the invitation is always there but it is up to them. For far too long I used "duty" and "guilt" as my father did in particular and I guess I hated it so why would I do that to my kids. I do not. I takes a lot of restraint on my behalf but these are people in their 40s and 30s with lives to lead. I have done my job as mum and even though I would like to be contacted more, I do not 'guilt' them at all. Sigh. I am getting better at not feeling the obligation with Dad too and it is working. I feel more in control of me. The only person I can control. Thanks for linking up for Life This Week 40/52. Next week: With $1000 I would...Denyse Whelan.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16888810644186418559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-76176025454192373492017-10-17T10:40:35.758+08:002017-10-17T10:40:35.758+08:00I'm learning that there is always a "too ...I'm learning that there is always a "too tight" hold Donna - nobody wants to be grasped and held too close - we all like a bit of space and room to maneuver or we feel like we're suffocating.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-52428746378414732202017-10-17T10:39:10.489+08:002017-10-17T10:39:10.489+08:00It's a tightrope at times isn't it Christi...It's a tightrope at times isn't it Christie? Giving everyone space and at the same time still feeling that closeness that we all value.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-52123018598555926742017-10-17T10:38:21.611+08:002017-10-17T10:38:21.611+08:00I can't believe your kids are that old Ellen! ...I can't believe your kids are that old Ellen! You don't look old enough to have 30+ year olds :) And yes, I know all about the fantasy of having them in the neighbourhood - and learning to make the most of those visits and then letting them go again until next time.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-86331961634083672862017-10-17T10:37:06.316+08:002017-10-17T10:37:06.316+08:00Having them close by can blur the edges sometimes ...Having them close by can blur the edges sometimes can't it Diane? I often envy parents who have their adult kids nearby, but there is the whole balancing act of not being too involved and infringing on their boundaries - boy this parenting gig is tricky at times!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.com