tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post586141183301740838..comments2024-03-28T08:54:28.654+08:00Comments on Cresting The Hill: WHOLEHEARTED LIVING - CULTIVATING AUTHENTICITYLeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-19817492566387685852021-02-27T09:50:52.176+08:002021-02-27T09:50:52.176+08:00She's just great Leanne - very tuned in to our...She's just great Leanne - very tuned in to our Midlife issues and adventures - and the idea of not pretending - just showing up and being ourselves - I love that!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-53646874260782356982021-02-25T03:23:36.878+08:002021-02-25T03:23:36.878+08:00Brene Brown is becoming very popular! I'm hear...Brene Brown is becoming very popular! I'm hearing her name everywhere at the moment. I mean, she's been popular for a while, but just in the last week I've heard her mentioned at least five times by different people. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00886017636780724635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-80338697200089445782021-02-24T17:57:42.781+08:002021-02-24T17:57:42.781+08:00Oh that's just lovely that you're featurin...Oh that's just lovely that you're featuring my post Kathleen - and I hope it helps others. I wore a very pleasant mask for a long time - one that let people have far too much say in what went on in my life. Now I'm much better at saying "this is who I am" and if you don't like it that's fine - walk on by and let me get on with living my life peacefully and without jumping through your hoops :) I'm glad you found your way to that place too xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-88632815804786131312021-02-24T07:56:10.326+08:002021-02-24T07:56:10.326+08:00OK we need to feature this one. Those of us who ha...OK we need to feature this one. Those of us who have lived in places of responsibility are masters at putting on the mask. I didn't have the courage to take it off until much later in life. The process did have its own stress, it took me 6 months to work through, thank the Lord, the truth does make us free. See you in the Pit Stop.<br />KathleenKathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16559092855185240910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-24576448213072341742021-02-23T12:44:13.871+08:002021-02-23T12:44:13.871+08:00Hi Jem - how lovely of you to pop in and visit - I...Hi Jem - how lovely of you to pop in and visit - I nearly chose Wholehearted for my WOTY but went with Cultivate because it had a proactive feel to it - intentional action. I don't think Daring Greatly was as good as the Gifts of Imperfection - it didn't hit quite the same note for me, but anything of Brene's is always good and full of little helpful gems. I do hope you'll keep visiting and we can get to know each other - Midlife blogging has brought me a lot of friends and connections - and it's absolutely the best unexpected bonus!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-66993080687459824532021-02-22T23:55:58.013+08:002021-02-22T23:55:58.013+08:00What a small world we live in! I had Wholehearted ...What a small world we live in! I had Wholehearted as my word of the year last year, after reading The Gifts of Imperfection. Being myself is important to me: I spent so many years fitting in, and it did me no good. I'll have to get a copy of Daring Greatly next payday if it's that good.<br /> For now, I'm looking for midlife blogs that speak to where I am now: hence my first visit here today. It's been worth the trip so far.<br /><br />Don't worry, I'll be back again. I've missed having good blogs to read. Life has been so busy recently, and I need to take time to be me.<br />Angel Jemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08915392156232711695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-41020991404308872912021-02-22T09:35:27.780+08:002021-02-22T09:35:27.780+08:00Hi Kirstin - Brene was a great discovery in my ear...Hi Kirstin - Brene was a great discovery in my early 50's - her Gifts of Imperfection book opened my eyes to a lot of behaviours I had that I thought were healthy and actually weren't. The relief of finding out that perfectionism wasn't the ultimate goal was such a joy! It set me on the path to living more authentically and not worrying about other people and their opinions quite so much.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-68014250156952115582021-02-22T09:32:29.730+08:002021-02-22T09:32:29.730+08:00Hi Bethany - we really never quite know where peop...Hi Bethany - we really never quite know where people are coming from do we? We expect that they'll think like us, but they rarely do. The older I get, the more I'm able to put that worry about their opinions into the back of my mind - it's still there, but it doesn't drive my self-worth any more. I do try to keep that shield up at times because I think we all want to be liked, but I'm letting it down more these days and just walking away from those who don't enrich my life. I hope you do too. xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-57510294619762625462021-02-22T00:39:45.245+08:002021-02-22T00:39:45.245+08:00Ahhhh this was so good!!! I am pinning this to go ...Ahhhh this was so good!!! I am pinning this to go back and read. Man. Soo much truth in those words. I have not read any of Brenes books yet but they are on my list. I am 52 and I can relate to so much of this. Thank you for sharing. <br /><br />Heading over from Weekend Coffee ShareKirstinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17792132554787453551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-5488692372678491852021-02-21T22:40:40.485+08:002021-02-21T22:40:40.485+08:00First off, I love Brene! You know she lives in Ho...First off, I love Brene! You know she lives in Houston, right? :-) I have had such a journey of moving away from worrying about what people think of me. I have found that I have an easy time being vulnerable, in that I am very open about my journey and challenges. But I have found that some people would go over the top, lavishing me with praise for what I have overcome, but would want nothing to do with me as soon as I said that I still struggled. I used to be so hard on myself because of this, because I thought I wasn't good enough. But now I see that their comments were not about me at all. It was their own perfectionism, their own issues. If I still overeat when I am stressed, if I still occasionally indulge those negative voices and then use wine to cope with it, that has nothing to do with the other person. If they disapprove of me, it is likely because they want there to be a "graduation," where it is possible to no longer go back to old habits. But that isn't life. I've learned to let such people go and not worry about it. <br /><br />Bethany @ Happily Loco<br />http://happilyloco.wordpress.comBethany Rosselithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10046212446587504018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-82846887059344135902021-02-21T13:47:23.802+08:002021-02-21T13:47:23.802+08:00Molly you're so right about the fear of losing...Molly you're so right about the fear of losing people, but I'm coming to realize that anyone who falls by the wayside was not really committed to being in my life unless it was on their terms. It's the same with saying No to things - I miss out occasionally, and I disappoint people occasionally, but it's so nice to only say Yes to things that have some meaning for me. <br />Doing stuff for the sake of "someone having to do it" or squeezing myself into someone's idea of who I should be - both are stifling and I'm so glad to be leaving them behind me these days. And you know what? I haven't lost a single important person in my life - the ones who love me are still there and happy for me to be "real" - and I love the support from the blogging community too - like minded women are such a blessing.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-32107213571908373532021-02-21T13:44:12.033+08:002021-02-21T13:44:12.033+08:00Hi Natalie - what I love about blogging is that th...Hi Natalie - what I love about blogging is that there are so many women modelling the type of lives and behaviour and attitudes that I aspire to. As I slowly work my way towards being my true self, it's great to have those role models as examples of how it looks when you perservere.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-89385081265047580612021-02-21T13:42:53.704+08:002021-02-21T13:42:53.704+08:00Hi Cheryl - thank you for those kind words, and yo...Hi Cheryl - thank you for those kind words, and you're right, it's all part of the journey isn't it? And to have been as self-focused as I am now, back when I had kids and a family and work commitments would have been quite detrimental I think (and felt quite selfish). Now that I only have "me" to worry about, I can afford to spend the time to drill down and get rid of some of the dross and the expectations - it's a nice stage to have reached.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-50922660561650712382021-02-21T13:41:04.307+08:002021-02-21T13:41:04.307+08:00Hi Christina - I love it when you leave a comment ...Hi Christina - I love it when you leave a comment because I think we're on very similar paths (just on opposite sides of the world!) And yes, allowing ourselves to be real and to accept that not everyone will like us for who we are. I read an interesting article on "fear of negative evaluation" and realized that it's something I definitely struggle with - and learning that not everyone is going to love us is a huge leap for me. Definitely a work in progress too!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-19631759356611931182021-02-21T05:33:13.897+08:002021-02-21T05:33:13.897+08:00Oh Leanne... we are most definitely on the same jo...Oh Leanne... we are most definitely on the same journey, aren't we?? And thank goodness for Brene Brown to help guide us to (finally) becoming who we are meant to be! As you've heard me talk about before... I really love Brene's distinction between "belonging" and "fitting in" I've tried to fit in my entire life. Much like you, I've tried to live up to others' expectations of who they thought I should be. It's exhausting!! And while I do fear losing relationships as I finally have the courage to remove that mask... I also believe I will discover new relationships where I truly belong. This online midlife community is definitely one of those spaces where I feel accepted just as I am. Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08414201637917215413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-16026127467438874982021-02-21T05:30:14.921+08:002021-02-21T05:30:14.921+08:00Hi Leanne, Congrats on doing the work and taking s...Hi Leanne, Congrats on doing the work and taking steps to live authentically. I agree with Brene Brown that it's a practice - a conscious choice. I'm glad you're more and more comfortable with being the real you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us at #WeekendCoffeeShare.Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05151221243588416460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-36296203909738407672021-02-20T16:30:08.125+08:002021-02-20T16:30:08.125+08:00Hi Christie, I just want to chime in here, about r...Hi Christie, I just want to chime in here, about remaining silent when we're in the minority. I don't see it as a weakness, or as not being authentic. We learn to pick our battles, and sometimes it's just not worth it (for our mental health, or just for a peaceful soul) to start a discussion that may lead to discord or even anger among friends/family/colleages. It's not necessary for us to air our views every single time, it's also a skill to listen to others, even if we disagree with them, and silently digest what they're saying instead of actively disagreeing with them. The less you speak the more you learn. xxCherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18249932461932536479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-12637327908363798472021-02-20T16:24:33.696+08:002021-02-20T16:24:33.696+08:00Hi Leanne, I love following your journey to 's...Hi Leanne, I love following your journey to 'self'. It's hard, I know, but so worth it! I did get stuck on one thing you've written here - "So why did I waste all that time?". Please, don't consider it as wasted time. Consider it as something you had to live through to get to this time where you can recognise your need to learn more about yourself. You wouldn't be the 'you' that you are now without all that 'wasted time'! Embrace your past just as much as you're embracing your present, it was just as important as now is. Have a lovely weekend, and thanks for this post, it's wonderful! xxCherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18249932461932536479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-82735681418939417032021-02-20T00:31:14.953+08:002021-02-20T00:31:14.953+08:00Hi Leanne. It's Christina Daggett. It really h...Hi Leanne. It's Christina Daggett. It really helps to know that on this journey, to authenticity, there are women my age dealing with the same obstacles. I wrote in a blog post, over a year ago, when I was turning 60, about the obstacles I faced in becoming authentic. I feel like I'm still a work in progress, as I head towards 61. The biggest challenges for me are self-acceptence, and feeling accepted by others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this book, as well as your own experiences. It's very helpful.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04308832090357817026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-28485000627766017932021-02-19T13:57:21.879+08:002021-02-19T13:57:21.879+08:00Hi Laurie - I read that book a couple of years ago...Hi Laurie - I read that book a couple of years ago and have begun re-reading it because I want to address those chapters of "cultivating traits" here on the blog and how it looks for me. I feel the same way with some of the blogs I read - some I really relate to and others less so. What I do love is sharing my heart and allowing my voice a place to speak without having to be quite so careful. <br />This is my little space to be me - to motivate myself to grow and become a better version of "Me" and to hopefully encourage others as they walk the same path. I've just reached that point in life where I won't pretend anymore - faking it is just not part of my skillset these days - and it's such a relief!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-34946989546851445362021-02-19T13:54:16.611+08:002021-02-19T13:54:16.611+08:00I think I was the same Jo - the person I was at wo...I think I was the same Jo - the person I was at work was quite different to "comfortable at home" me. As that last job became more and more psychotic I could feel myself faking my responses and pretending to care - and that's wrong on SO many levels. Once your integrity starts to be replaced by a smiley face mask you know you're in trouble!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-61250344419694774682021-02-19T13:51:04.480+08:002021-02-19T13:51:04.480+08:00Hi Christie - I think we'll always try to prot...Hi Christie - I think we'll always try to protect ourselves in a situation where it feels super uncomfortable to voice our opinion. I think authenticity can mean choosing to not participate in the conversation, or refusing to agree with something that goes against our values - we don't have to shout it to model it :)<br />I know I still need to be more confident that who I am is okay (more than okay) and that it doesn't matter if not everyone likes me - I can live with that and those people aren't my people.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-54069469706823151902021-02-19T08:00:13.087+08:002021-02-19T08:00:13.087+08:00I am reading Brene Brown too right now. My hubby g...I am reading Brene Brown too right now. My hubby gave me the book for Christmas. The Gifts of Imperfection. She talks about living Wholeheartedly in there too. It must be one of her common themes. I really like it. She also writes about fitting in versus belonging. It has me thinking about my blogging. It's tough to really belong somewhere. I have several different groups of blogging friends, but I am not sure if I really belong anywhere or if I am just trying to fit in. I think Brene went through a midlife crisis that she calls her Spiritual Awakening. Cultivating authenticity is tough. We wall want to please people, to fit in. We may not want the disapproval that comes with being our authentic selves. Still very much a work in progress for me!Meditations in Motionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08406003928113822953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-40147017638398104402021-02-19T06:21:20.934+08:002021-02-19T06:21:20.934+08:00I'm still a balls in the air person. I'm b...I'm still a balls in the air person. I'm better than I used to be - much better - but still wear the mask for the day job where I don't allow much of me to peek through. Somehow it feels important to keep that separate - as there's a me and a day job me.Jo Traceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01096756433952821037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-2792063732243900722021-02-18T21:24:31.793+08:002021-02-18T21:24:31.793+08:00As you said, Leanne, living an authentic life is a...As you said, Leanne, living an authentic life is a decision we make every day, not one that we suddenly say, "Okay, now I'm authentic!" and it's done. I surprised (and disappointed) myself not long ago, by remaining silent on a topic of importance when I realized my beliefs were the minority opinion in the room. I guess I'm not beyond people-pleasing yet. I am on the journey of discovering and living my authentic self, and based on the comments here, it's not a lonely journey. Many people are on it with me. Thanks for sharing this important message and starting a conversation.Christie Hawkeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14897036282962474586noreply@blogger.com