tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post6468020006124620185..comments2024-03-28T08:54:28.654+08:00Comments on Cresting The Hill: STOP APOLOGIZING AND BEING SMALLLeannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-1056672285819376582018-08-16T15:41:35.882+08:002018-08-16T15:41:35.882+08:00Hi Kathleen - it's funny that you should say t...Hi Kathleen - it's funny that you should say that because I have always seen you as really confident, on top of your game and still managing to stay nice in the process! It's strange how we manage to project confidence when we still have that little child inside who is too scared to speak up. Maybe we're all learning to be braver in Midlife - that's got to be a good thing doesn't it?Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-61507826879200921442018-08-15T08:30:20.422+08:002018-08-15T08:30:20.422+08:00I drive my husband crazy, he says I always underes...I drive my husband crazy, he says I always underestimate myself and give the wrong impression. I am learning, must be a slow learner but it is ingrained. Leanne I have learned so much from you and some other bloggers on being myself and not saying sorry when there is not need to. Thank you.<br />KathleenKathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16559092855185240910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-34667046206431350272018-08-14T20:41:52.568+08:002018-08-14T20:41:52.568+08:00I can truly feel what you've been through grow...I can truly feel what you've been through growing up - why are we squashed so much as girls and young women? I'm not sure that boys have this to the degree that we experience - maybe they're made to feel that they have to be bigger than they really are (rather than smaller like us?) Stereotyping and compartmentalizing people is so stifling and it's such a shame that it takes us so many decades before we escape it.<br />I'm so glad you're finding your way out and spreading your wings and living large - I'm hoping it's something that every Midlife woman lays claim to and has the satisfaction of seeing herself bloom.<br />Thanks so much for reading and for taking the time to comment xxLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-70919014630836108632018-08-14T19:39:53.084+08:002018-08-14T19:39:53.084+08:00Leanne I find your post very interesting and it de...Leanne I find your post very interesting and it definitely hits home for me. We were raised that kids were seen and not heard. And be a good little girl. Girls shouldn't behave like that. I grew up very introverted and shy. I was a very small child and everyone including teachers made fun of me and called me mouse. I carried this into my adult life and always thought I wasn't good enough. So I tried to be the perfect wife when I got married. I failed miserably and didn't measure up to my husband's expectations. Fast forward many years and more failed relationships. I decided I needed to work on myself to get rid of these negative words that kept ringing in my head that I was not good enough. I became very independent and focused and I started to like me and the woman I was becoming through researching and discovering I was good enough! So sad it took me so long but that was my journey that was laid out for me. I am happy who I am today and I am successful and happy. Love this post Leanne. Thank you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16397966487567355214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-81265333594104762602018-08-12T20:34:37.894+08:002018-08-12T20:34:37.894+08:00I'm big on saying sorry too Debbie - it's ...I'm big on saying sorry too Debbie - it's definitely a "woman thing" and it annoys my husband because he worked with a woman who said sorry and then went ahead and caused a lot of grief on a regular basis. So I try not to use it unnecessarily too - it dilutes its meaning if we over-use it.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-10863455694786531732018-08-11T09:12:30.157+08:002018-08-11T09:12:30.157+08:00I admit to apologising far more than I should! You...I admit to apologising far more than I should! Your post has made me question why I have gone down this path but I think it’s been wired into us somehow. I now make a conscious decision to stop and think, before I go to say sorry. Not everything in this world is my fault. Thanks again Leanne for sharing your pearls of wisdom with us. #mlstlAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444193007299838588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-46738409405129680882018-08-09T16:58:33.432+08:002018-08-09T16:58:33.432+08:00My father told me that "education is wasted o...My father told me that "education is wasted on women because they get married and have children" as if our lives couldn't include both. I am so disappointed that his beliefs and attitude coloured my life for decades and I missed out on so many opportunities. But it's never too late and we're never too old to become more - that's my aim now - to be more and to live my best life and I think you'll be joining me Jean xxLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-40604953412284993172018-08-09T16:56:35.357+08:002018-08-09T16:56:35.357+08:00I feel the same way Jodie - it wasn't wasted, ...I feel the same way Jodie - it wasn't wasted, but what could we have become if we'd had the underlying foundation that taught us to be all we're capable of being? I wonder what career I'd have chosen if I'd been given free range? As for saying "sorry" it was my punctutation mark for decades - not so much now!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-11824412940032424482018-08-09T16:54:33.649+08:002018-08-09T16:54:33.649+08:00I think it's never too late Molly - 50, 55 or ...I think it's never too late Molly - 50, 55 or 60 - we still have a lot of time left to live our best lives and blogging has shown me that there are a lot of women out there who are on the same path - we'll figure it out together xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-91289075803291578442018-08-09T16:52:35.390+08:002018-08-09T16:52:35.390+08:00I'd love to see you write your memoir Brenda -...I'd love to see you write your memoir Brenda - and to see the contrasts in the before, after and then the "now". I think a lot of Christian women really struggle with that concept of being "good" and being quiet and submissive and knowing their place - I know it's been a battle for me at times coming from a secular background and marrying into a staunch Baptist family - very loving, but very conventional. It can be stifling at times and it's taken me a long time to say that I love them, but I'm not quite the perfect fit for that life. I think they understand that now and they allow me my quirks - but I wonder how different life might have been if I'd had parents that pushed me to be my best, in-laws that weren't quite so religious, and the courage to be all I had the potential to be?<br />I think we need books like the one you could write to show us the way, and I keep reminding myself that it's not too late, a slow start is better than no start and I want to find out who I really am and to see where that person wants to go.<br />Thank you too for your very kind last sentence - you've always inspired me with your story and I will be following along in the years to come xxLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-80924061658146533332018-08-09T16:46:59.801+08:002018-08-09T16:46:59.801+08:00You're right Amy - but my consolation is that ...You're right Amy - but my consolation is that there are still decades to go (God willing) and I intend to make the most of them!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-30984898397583759252018-08-09T16:46:19.476+08:002018-08-09T16:46:19.476+08:00My father was completely dismissive of what I brou...My father was completely dismissive of what I brought to the table Denyse and I often wonder where I could have ended up if he'd encouraged me to pursue all I was capable of being. I also wonder how many women could have made bigger and more valuable contributions to our world if their men folk had cheered them on rather than considering them less worthy?Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-37913339958522543682018-08-09T16:43:36.167+08:002018-08-09T16:43:36.167+08:00I'm a work in progress too Kathy - I always as...I'm a work in progress too Kathy - I always assumed you were much more confident in yourself because you are so confident in your blogging and you have so much that you share from living such a well rounded life. It encourages me to know that you have come a long way too and still have further to go - it's nice to know that we share the journey xxLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-74389622245594039782018-08-09T06:18:56.302+08:002018-08-09T06:18:56.302+08:00It is a shame to come to this realization in your ...It is a shame to come to this realization in your midlife, not that it's too late. But I do have regrets about being raised by parents who thought my most important role in life was to be a wife and nothing else. And they didn't instill a bit of adventure in me -- I grew up to be afraid of almost everything and anything new. How we Boomers come to fear taking risks! At least I did and still do. Just a bit of encouragement would have gone a long way. At this age, though, I do meet more and more women who are breaking free and going their own way. Snoring Dog Studiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14513214869183119164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-35461120171305098642018-08-09T06:16:41.054+08:002018-08-09T06:16:41.054+08:00It's amazing because we've had to work on ...It's amazing because we've had to work on getting my mom to stop saying "I'm sorry" all the time. And since the nut doesn't fall far from the tree, it wasn't that long ago that I had to work on that. It does seem like a waste for the years that we did it, yet I hate to think some of my life was wasted. It was different. And I've learned a lot. Which is why I'm SO glad I'm older and at the stage I'm at!!<br />XOXO<br />Jodie<br />www.jtouchofstyle.com<br />Jodie's Touch of Stylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16453914318183037853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-91270454652287037982018-08-09T03:22:51.989+08:002018-08-09T03:22:51.989+08:00I'm afraid it took me slightly longer than 50 ...I'm afraid it took me slightly longer than 50 years to learn this valuable lesson (and truth is... I'm still learning) but you are absolutely right. NO MORE! I am pinning your poem in the hopes of reading aloud for daily positive affirmation.Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08414201637917215413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-59840483014541445102018-08-08T21:34:50.967+08:002018-08-08T21:34:50.967+08:00As an adult I lived what some would call an outrag...As an adult I lived what some would call an outrageous, hard to believe life. While I was aware of that, it never more so than when I joined a memoir writer's group in my mid-40's. There were seven of us, all women, who got together once a month to read and critique what one another had written. One of the women in the group never said this to my face, but I later learned she didn't believe anything I wrote. She thought it was fiction. The other women, while they were polite and liked me, never said a word when I finished reading my short piece. We just moved on to the next woman. Our group was together for a number of years and when we disbanded, I got small. I'd remarried, and my husband's family was conservative, Christian. They wouldn't have understood my previous Indiana Jones lifestyle. It's only been since I've been blogging that I've begun tossing out something here and there to see what kind of feedback I received. It's been gratifying to have women who read with interest and depending on the situation, understand that my life... while adventurous for sure... wasn't an easy one. I'm now considering writing a book. A memoir. Most all of the things I haven't shared on my blog. Leanne, you're one of the women who has supported me, and I appreciate you more than you know. THANK YOU! xoxox, BrendaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15138140094568459194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-74599358650769960152018-08-08T21:14:34.344+08:002018-08-08T21:14:34.344+08:00Great post! There are so many lessons in life we l...Great post! There are so many lessons in life we learn way too late! Amy Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11878073765579182362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-64907311349008827582018-08-08T17:00:21.797+08:002018-08-08T17:00:21.797+08:00Really interesting post! I think the times I made ...Really interesting post! I think the times I made myself small were so that people did not "see" how overweight I was....irony...but I also decided that my achievements in my education career would determine what people thought of me. Recently, social commentator and author Jane Caro wrote of her newly understood meaning of feminism "wanting to be taken seriously". THAT was in a nutshell how it has been for me, particularly with my father and at times my brother...and even though I do not like saying it, my husband and son. That stops now as far as I am concerned and I will be speaking up even more!! Denyse #mlstlDenyse Whelan.https://www.blogger.com/profile/16888810644186418559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-60517188479669922322018-08-08T11:29:05.264+08:002018-08-08T11:29:05.264+08:00Hi Leanne! What an important post and one I can&#...Hi Leanne! What an important post and one I can't imagine any woman anywhere not relating to. As for me, I have been taking baby steps toward learning to completely accept myself and stop apologizing for who I am my entire life. I wish I could say that I hit 50 and I was completely free of it, but I am still a work in progress. And while I am not where I hope to be some day, I am getting better and SO-O-O much better than I used to be. As long as I continue to make progress and walk bravely and honestly into my future I am grateful. May we all continue to learn to love our true self, completely and honestly as possible, for the rest of our lives. ~KathyKathy @ SMART Living 365.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12392736262783641661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-16704897536438504602018-08-08T10:03:05.040+08:002018-08-08T10:03:05.040+08:00There seems to be a bit of a range of ages when th...There seems to be a bit of a range of ages when this happens to us Jennifer - some caught on a bit earlier, and some took a little longer - but ultimately, Midlife seems to have been the catalyst for taking ownership of our lives and living authentically - and we're all reaping the benefits :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-10655752721776551072018-08-08T10:01:41.624+08:002018-08-08T10:01:41.624+08:00You're so right about our self-perception Sue ...You're so right about our self-perception Sue - I think others can see elements within us that we miss because we lack that little spark of self-confidence. Now that I'm not trying to be all that I think others expect me to be, I've been able to step back and find what is important to me and to own that. It may not be as exciting as the lives others are leading, but it's a comfortable and interesting life for me and that is so important to being relaxed and happy. <br />And yes - here's to another great #MSLTL party!Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-86079540353657985292018-08-08T09:59:31.246+08:002018-08-08T09:59:31.246+08:00Natalie you lead such an interesting and diverse l...Natalie you lead such an interesting and diverse life - I'm hoping that people will be able to say that about me one day. I might have started late, but I'm hoping to go out with a bang :)Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-21529230910327330682018-08-08T09:58:41.507+08:002018-08-08T09:58:41.507+08:00We might have different personalities Min, but I t...We might have different personalities Min, but I think our hearts are the same. I'm so glad that my daughter has the confidence that I missed out on at her age. I'd like to think my parenting helped a bit, and it's a shame we didn't have that headstart in our 20's onwards. Luckily it's not too late and I think as we embrace our quirks we become so much more - and that's a really engaging part of this Midlife journey.Leannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4722898771124083282.post-39381601728206429762018-08-08T09:56:55.779+08:002018-08-08T09:56:55.779+08:00You're right Candi - I think you discovered yo...You're right Candi - I think you discovered your true colours a decade before me - but I'm fast catching up and I think blogging had a lot to do with it! So many fantastic women who are owning this age and stage xLeannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623420015695351280noreply@blogger.com