WHAT IS APHANTASIA? AND DO YOU HAVE IT?

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WHAT ON EARTH IS APHANTASIA?

When our adult children were visiting a few weeks ago we got chatting about a condition known as aphantasia. Our son, who's a mechatronic engineer, just realized that he has it (much to his horror and annoyance). I think it comes from my side of the family because my husband doesn't have it and neither does our daughter. It provoked a LOT of discussion over several days and was quite an eye opener.

So, what is aphantasia?
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LOOKING BACK AT A FABULOUS MAY

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MY FABULOUS MAY

Thank goodness for Autumn - the cooler weather, the sunshine interspersed with rain, the gradual lead-up to Winter, and seeing the garden and nature begin to green up after the long, dry Summer we've endured. As we head into Winter, there'll be no snow or freezing temperatures here in Western Australia, and that's fine with  me - I like my weather mild and fairly predictable. On that note, here's what's been Fabulous throughout the lovely month of May....

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WHAT ARE GLIMMERS? AND HOW DO THEY WORK?

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WHAT IS A GLIMMER?

My blogging friend Pat from Retirement Transition wrote a series of posts recently about understanding abandonment and its resultant trauma and triggers. There were a lot of interesting outcomes that she described that strongly resonated with me - especially these five behaviours below. 

  • Overly sensitive to any criticism
  • Seeking external validation 
  • Discomfort/stress in social situations - especially new social situations 
  • Perfectionism, trying to meet expectations, and being productive
  • Excessive planning, over-thinking, and a desire to control the situation

In an email conversation I had with Pat, she mentioned that a friend had told her about Glimmers and how they can be used to counteract some of the triggers that we experience....
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THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW ON THE HORIZON IF WE'RE READY

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LIFE IS A SERIES OF UPS AND DOWNS

Life is in a constant state of flux isn't it? I feel like the last few years have been a bit of a roller coaster ride - from my job becoming less and less bearable, to finally resigning, to wondering what to do next, then covid throwing a spanner in the works, and  finally settling into a new routine where I expected to stay comfortably forever. 

I had my days nicely balanced with plenty of activities for my body, mind and soul and was feeling pretty settled and content....but then my hip gave out on me and life changed again.
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ADULT HIP DYSPLASIA, OSTEOARTHRITIS, AND LIVING WITH A LIMP

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WHAT IS ADULT HIP DYSPLASIA?

I used to have a life without hip pain. I had that life for 35 years or so and then one day I started to get a nagging pain in my left hip. I put up with it for a while but eventually headed off to the physiotherapist to get it worked on and to get some home exercises. It helped and it settled.

But over the following years it happened again.....and again.....and again....
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A FABULOUS APRIL AND EASTER RECAP

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MY FABULOUS APRIL

I can't believe April has come and gone already! Easter flashed past and Autumn has settled in with its cooler days and evenings (so much better for my sleeping than those hot, muggy nights). Quite a bit has happened over the last few weeks, including our first family covid experiences - which we all knew had to happen because we couldn't stay locked away from the world forever. But there have also been some lovely times as well, so on that note....here's what's been Fabulous throughout the very pleasant month of April....

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6 VITAL QUALITIES I VALUE IN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS

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SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE

Zina Harrington the author of Becoming Unbusy shared a thought recently on Facebook about the type of women she wants to be surrounded by. It resonated with me on a lot of levels because, as I've gotten older, there are certain qualities I look for in my friends too. 

I definitely steer clear of criticism, negativity, sabotage, or doom and gloom. I also don't need super sunshine-y, perfect Pollyannas either. I'm tending to seek out real, authentic, down to earth women with common sense and the ability to sift through all the dross to find the little nuggets of truth and joy that still abound in our lives. These are my tribe and today I'm sharing six qualities that speak to my heart when I'm with these types of women...
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BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR - YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT!

cresting the hill

NEVER GET TOO SETTLED

Just over three years ago, I finally walked away from my toxic job. I didn't have a lot of time to think about it. I'd been pushed to the end of my tether, and when that last straw broke this camel's back, I gave two weeks' notice, packed my bag and left. I was mentally exhausted and it took me a long time to recover my resilience. The ending was sudden and abrupt, and it left me feeling quite lost and unsure of what to do next.
By the time I felt like I had something to offer a new employer, covid arrived in all its "glory" and the world locked down. We all retreated and it became easier to stay at home than to worry about putting myself out there again. But life can sometimes surprise you....

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MAKE ROOM FOR FORGIVENESS AND IT WILL HEAL YOUR HEART

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UNRESOLVED HURT

I was talking to a 90 year old woman recently, she was sharing some incidents from her late teens where her father's attitude had caused her pain. She felt that her needs and choices had been minimalized and overlooked (and from what she said, they had been). The saddest part of the conversation was that she still carried the same degree of anger and upset that she felt from when she was 20. 

She couldn't see that he was a product of his generation and, even though he'd passed away many years ago, she still carries so much bitterness and lack of forgiveness in her heart - 70 years of wasted anger and hurt. Those unresolved feelings and lack of being able to move on from earlier issues have left an ongoing legacy of pain in her life and have carried over into her relationships with others.
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FINALLY FREEING MYSELF FROM STINGINESS AND SCARCITY AT 60

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WHEN FRUGALITY BECOMES STINGINESS

This is kind of a weird post about an issue I have that others may not have a problem with...but lately I've finally twigged to the fact that there's a fine line between being frugal and being stingy. I often muddle the two up and find myself happily spending time, energy, or money on others - while refusing to do the same for myself. I tell myself that it doesn't matter and I don't need non-essential things, but living a life of denying myself any little treats is not the way I want to live out the rest of my days.

I think it's time to stop being so stingy and to let myself enjoy a few small indulgences here and there - I'm finally allowing my tightly held fist to open a little - and it feels good.
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