Wednesday, 2 December 2015

simple and to the point - no more shrinking!

most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself....less needy, less me....  Daniell Koepke

I'm not going to say much in this post, I think Daniell Keopke says it all. If you've got a moment, read the quote above all the way through, it is the summing up of how I have felt all my life - always making myself less to fit in with the expectations of others. I've come to see my midlife as my time for claiming back who I truly am - the real "me". The words "I am done shrinking" is what my life now is all about.

"My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters." This is so true and so profound and simply states what life is about for me today. No more seeking approval from others and no more choosing to shrink myself to fit in their little boxes. No, I am doing my best to be the authentic "me" who is brave enough to say "take me or leave me, but this is who I am!"


33 comments:

  1. I love this and will say as I am getting older and feeling more and more like this myself to be honest. So definitely can relate and you aren't alone in the least.

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    1. thanks Janine - I think each "generation" gets this a bit earlier than the last! I know my daughter has a far better grasp on being herself than I ever did at her age :)

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  2. This is so timely as I always say to you :-) because it's what I'm focusing on with my 10-year-old. I've always been a bit too loud and a bit too boisterous and I want to encourage her to stay as she is today as she grows into womanhood.

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    1. My daughter is a fire cracker too Carla and it was a fine balance in encouraging her and at the same time mellowing her a little. It's completely different to squashing the life out of them!

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  3. Hi Leanne! I think many of us women who grew up in the "baby-boomer" age will relate deeply to this. At least where I lived little girls were taught to "be nice" at all costs. And while I had a very happy childhood in spite of it, I've carried that with me for long enough. It is, as you say, simply time to let that go and be myself. Thank you for that excellent reminder! ~Kathy

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    1. It is an outflow of our generation Kathy - we were taught to fit the mold and I think that we lost something in the process (it's nice to be rediscovering it now before it was too late!)

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  4. Isn't it funny how it takes us so long to realize this? I am just getting into my 30's and finally starting to think like this. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. You're a little younger than me Miranda and I think your generation is finding yourselves earlier than mine did. We took another decade or two - you're quicker off the mark!

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  5. I get that way also. But I'm trying my best to change my train of thoughts. :) #JoyHopeLive

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    1. It is a bit of a training process Robin but so worthwhile when you see your true self emerge :)

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  6. a lot of us come to this realization as we hit midlife--and that's so sad.

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    1. it does seem like we wasted a couple of decades doesn't it? Never too late though!

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  7. Such a great quote - yes we all matter, our thoughts matter, and we need to remember to choose ourselves sometimes.

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    1. I agree Julie - it's about being authentic and liking ourselves and knowing we deserve more.

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  8. Love that perspective! It's something i struggle with, admittedly, but I'm working on it and getting better as I get older.

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    1. I think a lot of us struggle with trying to fit everyone else's box for us Lisa - it's nice when we find that happy balance.

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  9. Perfect - what a great way to look at life. Thank you for sharing this empowering quote.

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    1. My pleasure Laurel - it is empowering isn't it? :)

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  10. Way to go Leanne!! I wholeheartedly agree with you ! We should stand up for ourselves! No more shrinking!

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    1. I just feel like I tried too hard for too long Mary and now I'm finding my own place in the world and owning that - it's a nice place to be :)

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  11. I could not stop reading it. Such a strong quote, one to definitely remember! Thank you!

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    1. I think I read it about five time Zografia - it just spoke to my heart :)

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  12. I've spent so many years doing this. I always worried that people wouldn't like me if I said what I really felt. The past few years I've been trying to stand up for myself more.

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    1. me too Lana - I am starting to realize that I wasn't doing myself any favours by hiding my light under a bushel!

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  13. Wow. That quote sounds like I said it. I have always been different than those around me, so I shrunk myself for the longest time, and I still do sometimes, it makes things easier on those around me and so although it is sad for me I do it so that things run smoothly. Now I've stopped doing that, as much. instead I stopped spending time with those people. If I can't be myself and feel accepted then why am I doing it?

    I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one, and I'm even happier to hear that you are done being little!!!

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    1. Thanks Nikki - there are so many of us who have wasted so many years being less than we were capable of because we wanted to fit in and be liked. Now I just don't care whether everyone likes me - I'll fit in if I have to, but when I can be myself it is so much more freeing. Nice to know you are now a non-shrinker too :)

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  14. I absolutely love this Leanne. It seems so fitting for our midlife years. Youth is definitely wasted on the youth.

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    1. I loved it as soon as I read it Rena - just such a summation of how I feel nowadays :)

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  15. I'm so excited to be working with you on the Over the Moon Link Party. I think that as we get older, the less we worry about being smaller and unseen. Life would be so much easier if we figured this out earlier.

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    1. I'd have loved to have worked this out in my 20s instead of my 50s Sandy - but I intend to make up for lost time! I'm thrilled to be included in the new OTM linky with such a lovely group of girls :)

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  17. This hit a nerve. just had a gastric sleeve operation and i almost died. I have 'shrunk" 20kg and all I can think is - everybody happy now?

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