HOW STEPPING AWAY AND STEPPING BACK CAN LEAD TO STEPPING UP

Stepping away from toxic people and unhealthy situations can give us the space we need to grow and step into who we're meant to be.

HOW I USED TO DEAL WITH LIFE

For as long as I can remember, I've always been someone who wants everyone to be happy, to be doing well, and to be at peace with me. I HATE it when I feel like I've upset someone, or that they have an issue with me. Conflict causes me a lot of stress and that inner gut churning that is miserable. I then proceed to overthink everything, to try to smooth the waters, to apologize, or to change to make the other person more comfortable.

Well.... that was how I always used to be, but over the last few years I've been growing a bit of a backbone,  I've discovered boundaries, and I've worked on my self-worth. A few things have brought that into focus and that's what I'm writing about today....
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HOW TO FIND MORE JOY IN LIFE EACH AND EVERY DAY

How do we begin to live with joy as our natural default in a busy and sometimes messy world?

HOW DO WE FIND JOY?

I wrote a series of posts several years ago on twelve areas to focus on for happiness. It was popular because a lot of us are looking for ways to be happy and to not end up as grumpy old people. What I've come to see over the ensuing years is that there isn't a switch we turn on to make ourselves happy, we can't force ourselves to be happy....but we do have control over our minds and our thoughts, and we can set them towards joy by choosing what we give our attention to.

Our feelings follow our thinking....
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SHOULD YOU SELL YOUR CAR WHEN YOU RETIRE IN AUSTRALIA?

When you retire, should you keep or sell your car? Here's a comprehensive guide to help you make an informed decision.

INTRO

Over the last year or so my husband and I have been chatting about when it'll be time to downsize from two cars to one. Neither of us are driving to work anymore and most of the time at least one car is sitting idle in the garage....when do we sell one and save on some of the costs vs keeping both and having a car each that suits us? (I like small cars, he prefers a bigger engine and more space).

Today on the blog I have a collaboration that covers this topic in more detail and I found it to be really helpful with the list of pros and cons that come with making the decision of whether to sell, or to keep what you have...
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LOOKING BACK AT A WONDERFUL WINTER

Looking back at June, July, and August 2024 - winter in Australia - and highlights of what I've been doing during that time.

LOOKING BACK AT THE WINTER THAT'S BEEN

Winter has been a lovely change from the hot, dry, extended Summer we experienced here in Western Australia. The cooler days and the rain have been really welcome - it's so lovely to see the world green up around me and to hear the rain on the roof at night as I snuggle under the covers.

It's been three months since I wrote my last update and today I wanted to share a few of the highlights from the family, the blog, and life in general - I hope you'll enjoy them too.....
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WHEN A GOOD LIFE TIPS THE SCALES OVER AN EASY LIFE

As the second half of life has come along and things have steadied, I can see that it isn't an easy life that I'm drawn to, its a good life.

A GOOD LIFE VS AN EASY LIFE

When I was younger, I always had a small kernel of envy in my heart towards those who seemed to lead much easier lives. I'd see those who had large incomes, or those who were making big purchases, or those who seemed to be high fliers, and my heart would give a little twinge as I continued along with my daily life of work and paying bills, saving money, and going without those added extras.

I thought that the easy life was the best life, but as the second half of life has come along and things have steadied, I can see that it isn't an easy life that I'm drawn to, its a good life....
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CHOOSING "NO MATTER WHAT" PEOPLE OVER "JUST LET THEM" PEOPLE

I'll always choose to spend time with a friend who is there for me “no matter what" rather than with someone who treats me poorly.

"JUST LET THEM" QUOTE

I read a quote a little while ago, it was called "Let Them" - it was an attempt at being positive and proactive when it comes to people in your life who don't treat you in the way you'd like to be treated. At first it sounds very strong and powerful, but the more I thought about it, the less appealing it became.

This is the quote:
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5 HEALTHY HABITS TO ADOPT IN LATER LIFE

Healthy habits you can adopt to give you the best chance of living a much longer and more robust life.

INTRO

Today on the blog I have another great collaboration with some sensible advice on how to stay healthy so we can keep living our best life. I know that a positive mindset is vital, and it's so much easier to stay that way if we keep our body and brain in good shape too. 

So, let me pass the blog over to my collaborator to share some sensible tips on how to stay as healthy as possible as we progress through the second half of life...
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IT STARTS WITH ME AND ENDS WITH PEACE

You get to choose your response. You don't have to fix everything and everyone - work on valuing yourself and the rest will fall into place.

FEELING UNSETTLED

Life can be really wonderful overall, but still throw little upsets and irritations into our days. I seem to have a couple of those that have been on-going in my life over the last few months, and I've been trying to untangle the "why?" I start with wondering why someone would be mean spirited, then I wonder why I'm unhappy with a particular place, then I start beating up on myself for being bothered by it all....then I beat up on myself a bit more by wondering if I caused the irritations.....then the loop starts again.

I find myself playing scenarios over in my head as I try to rationalise things that aren't rational, as I try to control how others should behave - but there's a part of me that knows this isn't on me, that knows I need to let go of trying to live in a perfect world full of perfect people and I've come to see.....
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WHAT DO THE REAL LUXURIES IN LIFE LOOK LIKE?

Abundance and luxury don't need to involve an expensive and extravagant lifestyle. They can be found in the small, delightful moments every day.

LIVING AN ABUNDANT LIFE

I used to think that living abundantly and luxuriously involved an expensive lifestyle and having everything you could imagine at your finger tips, wanting for nothing. As time has moved on, I've found the types of abundance and luxury that revolve around extravagance are meaningless to me. I have no desire at all to add more "stuff" to my life, to own more, to spend more, or to keep up with the Joneses.

Abundance and luxury for me are all about the small delights that are part of everyday life, simple pleasures that we often take for granted. Today I thought I'd share some of them....
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HOW MY HOME HAS BECOME MY HAVEN

One of the signs of settling into Midlife is that, as nice as it is to have lots of outside interests, I also really love being home.

WHEN YOU LOVE BEING HOME

I think one of the signs of settling into Midlife is that, as nice as it is to have lots of outside interests, I also really love being home. I think about all the freedom I have now, all the places I could go, all the social activities I have the time for, and all the entertainment that's available....and for the most part I'd rather be home.

I know that we all need to get out and about and be sociable and stay engaged with life, but I also love that my home has become my sanctuary where I can just relax and be in my own space. Today I wanted to share a few thoughts on how my home has become my haven.....
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HALFWAY THROUGH A YEAR OF LIVING WITH EQUANIMITY

HALFWAY THROUGH A YEAR OF LIVING WITH EQUANIMITY
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WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE WITH EQUANIMITY?

When I chose "Equanimity" as my Word of the Year for 2024 I knew it would be a challenge. It's not a word that comes up in day-to-day conversation, but it's full of depth and gravitus, and I just love the ideas that come with it. For me, it's about being centered, grounded, and at peace with the world around me.

This year I've wanted to live from a heart-centered worldview - to be calm and grounded on the inside and to be able to move through life's ups and downs without being too buffeted by them. I'm at the halfway mark and I'm reminded that I'm still a work in progress....
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3 IMPORTANT CHOICES TO ENSURE WE AGE WELL

HOW DO WE GO ABOUT AGING WELL?
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HOW DO WE GO ABOUT AGING WELL? 

A fellow blogger asked the question recently - "How old is too old?" and it got me thinking about whether age is to do with the number of years we've lived, or whether it's to do with how we go about living the years we've been allocated.

Are we aging well? And how do we go about intentionally aging with grace? I came up with three choices that I hope are helping me to age well into the years ahead....
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WHY NOT START A "TO-BECOME" LIST INSTEAD OF A "TO-DO" LIST?

The quality of our life is determined so much more by who we are, not by what we accomplish, so why not focus on be-ing instead of do-ing?
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FIGURING OUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT

I used to be a very busy person. I used to juggle several different roles each week - and often had a few on the burner on any given day. I was proud of all I could accomplish and how many things I could tick off my to-do list; my self-worth was firmly attached to my productivity.

Since leaving work and settling into retirement, I find my priorities have shifted significantly. I don't find my sense of achievement in how much I can cram into my week, instead I'm finding it in who I'm becoming and the qualities I want to invest in to get there...
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HAVE WE LOST THE ART OF AFFIRMING OTHERS?

Is it just me or have you noticed people are too busy to engage as much as they used to? Are you trying to affirm others where you can?
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WHAT DOES AFFIRMATION LOOK LIKE?

I've been noticing the waning of connection in my world recently, and I think it comes back to there being less reciprocation and affirmation than there used to be. I see it in small day-to-day encounters, I see it online, and I see it in some of my friendships. I'm wondering if it's a sign of our times, or is it a sign of Midlife?

Today I thought I'd give a few examples and I'd be interested to hear what you think....

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FINDING THE BEST CARE PROVIDERS FOR YOUR PARENTS

Where to begin and what questions to ask when looking for assistance with aged care.
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INTRO

Today on the blog I have a great collaboration that helps with navigating the process of finding care for our elderly parents when the time comes. I think we all hope that we won't need to access much help, but it's better to have some knowledge tucked away, than to be caught completely unaware if the need arises suddenly. And I'm also keeping in mind that I might need to know some of this for my own needs down the track.

I found it to be a really interesting overview and guide, and I hope you do too....
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INTENTIONAL LIVING - CREATING A LIFE ON PURPOSE

Are you living life on purpose? Is the second half of life shaping up to be all you'd hoped for? How does living intentionally look to you?
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WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE ON PURPOSE?

I read a sentence a while ago that resonated with me, it said:

I focus on living 'on purpose' vs finding my purpose

I liked it because it took the pressure off trying to find some grand life purpose for living, and allowed for the idea that I could live my life intentionally, on my own terms. Once that idea settled into my mind, I went looking for other thoughts and found a great site called The Intention Habit where there were so many fantastic quotes about living intentionally - with the added bonus that Holly generously allows them to be shared. So, here's a few of them and a few thoughts from me as well....
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LOOKING BACK AT AN AWESOME AUTUMN

Looking back at March, April and May 2024 - autumn in Australia - and highlights of what I've been doing during that time.

LOOKING BACK AT THE AUTUMN THAT'S BEEN

Summer here in Western Australia was a doozy with many, many days that were 35°C and hotter, so it was a relief when Autumn brought its cooler days, and a great deal of relief from the heat. I love Autumn (and Spring) for their milder weather and how much easier it is to be out and about when it's not too hot or wet.

It's been three months since I wrote my last update and today I wanted to share a few of the highlights from time with family, time at home, and time on holidays, and I hope you'll enjoy them too.....
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NOT TAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S COMMENTS PERSONALLY

I've learned to not care about what people think of me. I know who I am, I know what I stand for, and I know the things I do.

NOT TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY

I'm someone who internalises the actions and words of other people. I often take things very personally and feel sensitive about what other people say, especially if they're someone in a close relationship to me. I know all about self-differentiation and not allowing the behaviour of others to impact me, but there's a big difference between knowing something and putting it into practice in the heat of the moment.

Recently I had a difficult encounter that reminded me how important it is to not take other people's unkind comments personally....

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HOW UPSKILLING EARLY CAN PUSH YOU TOWARDS EARLY RETIREMENT

One of the best ways you can retire early is by upskilling. Upskilling is the practice of acquiring new skills to remain competitive in your job.

INTRO

One of the best things that ever happened to me was being able to retire early. Not having to wait until I was 67 before leaving work has been an unexpected joy. I'm so glad that we made good decisions leading into our 50's that paved the way for an early retirement, I know others are wanting to head in that direction but need a little boost to get there.

Today on the blog I have a great collaboration that gives some excellent suggestions that might help to give you that little push you need to get there sooner than you expected....
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WHY WOULD YOU HAVE YOUR CAR WRAPPED?

WHY WOULD YOU HAVE YOUR CAR WRAPPED

WHEN A GIFT INSPIRES AN UPGRADE

Recently my mother generously shared some money with us when she sold her house. I wrote about it a few months ago and how we passed some of it on to our children, and my husband also enjoyed the windfall by upgrading his motorbike to a newer and sleeker version. I was happy for everyone, but felt like I missed out because there was nothing I really wanted. 

What do you do when you love what you have, don't like to waste money on unnecessary purchases, but feel like you'd like to have a treat too?
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ROOTS AND FRUIT - DOING ALL THINGS IN LOVE

What are you rooting your life into? Is it producing good fruit that you can share with others?

ROOTS AND FRUIT

I've been thinking a lot lately about the fruit we produce in our lives and what that feels like and looks like as we grow older. What I've come to realize is that good fruit comes from nourishing the qualities we want to grow in ourselves - and that nourishment depends on where our roots are planted.

You can only get good, healthy fruit if you plant yourself in fertile soil and tend yourself well. So what kind of fruit do we want to produce, and what soil do we need to be rooted in to achieve that?
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TURN THE PRESSURE DOWN - BREATHE AND FIND YOUR CENTRE

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TURN THE PRESSURE DOWN

When I chose Equanimity as my Word of the Year, the driving thought behind it was how to centre and ground myself in quiet confidence and truth. I don't want to be striving after all the bells and whistles this world parades in front of me, I want to live a life that's free from stress and juggling too many balls.

Retiring from work has given me the opportunity to move away from performance based living, I don't have to jump through someone else's hoops anymore. Life is on my own terms - as long as I remind myself of a few simple home truths now and then.....
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EMBRACING A RESTFUL RETIREMENT: THE UNSUNG ROLE OF QUALITY SLEEP

Getting adequate sleep is essential to supporting our best life during retirement. The importance of sleeping soundly is often overlooked.
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INTRO


Today on the blog I have a really interesting collaborative article about getting a good night's sleep - something that seems to be harder to attain as the years go by.

Getting adequate sleep is essential to supporting our best life during retirement. Sleeping soundly is often overlooked in favor of more tangible lifestyle choices, like eating healthily and exercising regularly. But if we want to complete the health trifecta, then ensuring we have ample sleep is paramount to a happy retirement.

Let’s explore the benefits of sleep in greater detail, and how you can attain quality sleep as you get older...
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BECOMING WHO YOU TRULY ARE - ACCEPTANCE AND CHOICE

Are you in the process of becoming truly yourself? Have you noticed changes in the second half of life? Do you feel that you're more "you" now?
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WHO ARE WE BECOMING?

Towards the end of each year, my mind turns towards what my Word of the Year will be for the next year ahead. One word that comes up regularly is "Becoming" - I've come close to using it several times, but it always gets pipped at the post by something else. Despite that, it still holds a lot of meaning for me because Midlife has been all about becoming my true self.

I had no idea that the second half of life would be the beginning of putting away the old me, and replacing that way of thinking and doing, with a whole new mindset and approach - becoming more authentically "me". So what does "Becoming" look like in this season of life? This quote I saw on Facebook recently really sums it up for me....
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THE POSITIVE SPACE CREATED BY LETTING GO

In a world where we surround ourselves with so many commitments, so many people, and so much busyness, what would we gain if we let some of it go?
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LETTING GO GIVES US SPACE

In a world where we surround ourselves with so much 'stuff', so many commitments, so many people, and so much busyness, what would we gain if we let some of the superfluous go? How much more peaceful would our lives be if we released some of the excess and focused on what really matters? What would  you like more of, and what can you release to create room for it?

Previously, letting go was an issue for me, now it's something quite different....
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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCARCITY AND SIMPLICITY

simplicity and scarcity
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SCARCITY VERSUS SIMPLICITY

I have a strong aversion to scarcity. I lived with a scarcity mindset for most of my adult life - the fear that there wouldn't be enough....the concern that our income wouldn't be enough into, and through our retirement, the unsettledness of never being sure how much would be left over each month after the bills were paid.

It wasn't a restful way to live, there was constant striving and juggling. Despite that, I'm a lover of simplicity, simple living, and less is more. There's a huge difference between scarcity and simplicity and I thought I'd delve into that a little today...

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FINANCIAL FREEDOM AFTER 50: PRACTICAL TIPS FOR WOMEN TO BUILD A SECURE RETIREMENT

As we approach our golden years, securing financial freedom and a comfortable retirement starts becoming more important.
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INTRO

Today on the blog I have a really interesting collaborative article on how to begin preparing for a financially secure retirement. I remember that finances were my biggest concern when I decided to leave my job, and knowing that we had sufficient funds to get us through the years ahead was the deciding factor on permanently retiring and getting to enjoy this new lifestyle.

So without further ado, let's launch into some interesting tips that I hope you find helpful and encouraging....

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WHEN ONE WORD LEADS TO ANOTHER....AND ANOTHER

When your word of the year becomes so much more

WHEN YOUR WORD OF THE YEAR EVOLVES

I spent a lot of time trying to drill down to one all-encompassing Word for 2024 that included being more calm, centred, and at peace with myself and the world. As I mentioned in my January post, I chose Equanimity (with a bit of help from my daughter). Because it's a complex word, it seems to have made me think harder, and in the process it's attracted me to other words that have begun to resonate.

I thought today I'd share a little bit of what's been going through my head in regard to all I've been processing....

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THE ROAD THAT LEADS TO A WHOLE NEW LIFE

Retirement means different things to each of us, but for me it's been the opportunity to finally slow down and discover who I truly am.

THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE GIVES US SO MUCH

Last year I wrote about Ullie-Kaye, a poet whose work resonated with me on many levels. There were so many of her poems that spoke to my heart, I follow her Facebook page and her poems regularly appear in my feed. Recently a new one called "Wonder Road" popped up that was all about what life gifts us, but for me it perfectly described what the second half of life (especially retirement) has brought into my world. 

I just had to share it here today with a few words of my own....
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LOOKING BACK AT A SIMPLY LOVELY SUMMER

Looking back at December, January and February 2024 - summer in Australia and highlights of what I've been doing during that time.

LOOKING BACK AT THE SUMMER THAT'S BEEN

Summer here in Western Australia comprises December, January, and February. It's full of hot, dry days that are so much easier to navigate now that I'm happily retired. I really enjoy being able to choose when to be out in the heat, and when to be indoors in the cool.

It's also been three months of Christmas, family, dabbling, and generally enjoying life on my own terms - living with equanimity and joy. I'm sharing a few of the highlights today and I hope you'll enjoy them too.....
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I WAS SURPRISED BY THE ADVICE I'D GIVE MY YOUNGER SELF

When I look back at the last few decades I've realized that we need to experience life in all its fullness - we can't skip the tough parts.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE MY YOUNGER SELF?

Mika from Musings by Mika suggested that it would be interesting to read a post on the advice I'd give my younger self now I know all the ups and downs life has brought my way over the years. I took a look back over my shoulder at the last few decades and all that I've been through to get where I am, mulled it over for a while, and had a surprising revelation.

This is what came to mind, and this is what I'd tell my younger self (that's me above on my last day of high school - not quite 17 years old) if I had the chance...

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8 INSPIRING QUOTES ABOUT EQUANIMITY - AND MY VISION BOARD

8 inspiring quotes about Equanimity - including: In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy.

QUOTES ABOUT EQUANIMITY

I think it's pretty obvious that I love a good quote, and when I choose a Word of the Year, a whole lot of quotes suddenly leap out and become even more meaningful. This year when I chose Equanimity as my WOTY, I put several of my favourite quotes together and created my own version of an Equanimity Vision Board to remind me to remain calm and centred throughout the year.

Today I thought I'd share some of those quotes and what my board looks like....
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GENEROSITY - THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Being on the receiving end of generosity is a true joy, but being the giver of generosity is an even greater blessing.

SCARCITY VERSUS GENEROSITY

I've mentioned before that I've struggled my whole adult life with frugality and having a scarcity mindset. The need to squirrel away whatever income we had to pay the bills and to make ends meet was very important for the first few decades of life. Despite the need to save,  there were still worthy causes to support - the church, overseas orphans, or local charities, and it felt good to be able to contribute where we could.

Now all that frugality has paid off, and we're in a comfortable, debt free 3rd third of life.....but it's been a battle to shed that scarcity fear and to live larger. The key for me has been to learn to be more generous with myself and with others.....

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I'M NOW IN THE 3RD THIRD OF LIFE

What do you want to be and do as you enter the 3rd third of life? Here's some thoughts on life after 60.

THE 3RD THIRD OF LIFE

Recently I came across a Facebook post that mentioned the 3rd third of life, and I realized that I had just entered this new phase. The concept assumes that we're going to live to around 90 - which is about as far as I see myself getting to (if I'm lucky), so when I hit 60 it meant that I entered this final third of my life. It felt a little daunting, but also raised some interesting thoughts about what the previous two thirds of my life had taught me, and where this last third is leading.....
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EXPECTATIONS NOT MET? OR HOPES THWARTED?

What happens when we're disappointed, and our hope feels lost? Do we give up? Do we step back? Do we take it one day at a time?

LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS A BOWL OF CHERRIES

At the beginning of last year I wrote a post about my struggles with an area of my life that had been so important to me for decades, and had devolved into disappointment after disappointment. I had reached the end of my tether, and decided to step back and wait for changes that were in the wind to occur. 

Six months later I returned to see if things were on the upward ascent, and now, a further six months down the track, I  find myself almost back where I was last January.....
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THE GIFTS OF MIDLIFE

Midlife brings with it many valuable gifts that we need to take a moment to appreciate.

IT BEGAN WITH IMPERFECTION

Brene Brown wrote a fantastic book called "The Gifts Of Imperfection" that was an eye-opener for me, and I'll be forever grateful for the lessons it taught me. I've learnt that it's okay not to be perfect, that I can be my authentic self, allow myself to be vulnerable, and to embrace this wonderful life I've grown into. 

Along with the gifts of imperfection, I've realized that there have also been several other gifts that Midlife has bestowed upon me, and I thought I'd share a few of them here on the blog today....
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CHOOSING MY WORD OF THE YEAR - EQUANIMITY

Finding the perfect Word of 2024 - Equanimity - a sense of being calm and centred within myself. Not buffeted by the storms of life.

CHOOSING A NEW WORD OF THE YEAR

I've chosen a Word of the Year every January since 2015. At first it was easy and words just popped up that were simple and a part of the process of redefining myself into Midlife (Release, Embrace, Enough). As time has gone on, I've found that the words have become more complex and so has the desire behind choosing them (Rise,  Symphony, Cultivate.)

In the lead up to this year's Word I knew what I wanted to convey, but couldn't quite find the right word to encompass the concept....
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