Showing posts with label wellness. Show all posts

BECOMING MINDFUL OF MY SOCIAL CAPACITY AS I GET OLDER

Does our social capacity decrease as we age, or do we just become more true to ourselves and what fills our tank?

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER

I seem to keep revisiting the concept of social capacity as I get older. I feel like I used to be more of an extravert in my 20's, 30's, and 40's - at least I thought of myself as an extravert back then... but now I wonder if I was just good at putting on a social face and fitting in with whatever was happening. I liked to be busy, I liked having friends, and I liked being included in what was was planned. 

Now.... not so much....

EUSTRESS - LEARNING THAT NOT ALL STRESS IS BAD FOR ME

Eustress is the positive form of stress. It comes from the Greek word "eu," meaning "good," and "stress."

THERE IS MORE THAN ONE TYPE OF STRESS

Recently I've been feeling quite stressed. I can feel it within myself - that unsettledness, the tightness in my chest, my heart beating a bit faster etc. The weird thing is that I'm not under pressure, I'm not dealing with anything upsetting or overwhelming....but I'm still feeling stressed.

What's with that? Well, it turns out that there's more than one type of stress - the negative "distress" that I've always been familiar with (that toxic job being the pinnacle!) and then there's a different kind that my husband told me is called "eustress" - why didn't I know about this?!

YUTORI - MINDFULLY CREATING ROOM TO BREATHE

Yutori means having sufficiency and ease—a sense of comfort, time, and financial or mental space.

MEANINGFUL AND MINDFUL WORDS

As part of my exploration of my Word of the Year "Mindful" I've come across a few terms recently that have resonated with me. They're words that have depth and meaning to them, and they carry a little "something" that I'd like to incorporate into my own life. I chose five to explore further over March - which has been my month of meaningful, mindful reflection.

The final one of these words that caught my eye is Yutori....

ERT - MINDFULLY FINDING PURPOSE AND MOMENTUM

Ert is that tiny spark within us that reaches out of the mess of daily life towards what is good, and towards what it is we most crave to be, do and love.

ERT - A SENSE OF PURPOSE OR MOMENTUM

As part of my exploration of my Word of the Year "Mindful" I've come across a few terms recently that have caught my eye. They're words that have depth and meaning to them, and they carry a little "something" that I'd like to incorporate into my own life. I've chosen five to explore further over March - which is my month of meaningful, mindful reflection.

The next word is one I remember from reading Phosphorescence: On Awe, Wonder and Things That Sustain You When the World Goes Dark by Julia Baird a few years ago and being struck by Chapter 18 where she writes about "Ert". Ert isn't a word that I'd come across anywhere else, she explains that it's a term coined by marine biologist Lisa-Ann Gershwin, meaning the opposite of inertia....it's a sense of purpose or momentum.

She goes on to say...

EREMITION - MINDFULLY SEEKING SOLITUDE, PEACE, AND RENEWAL

Eremition refers to the intentional, often gradual, act of withdrawing from society to seek solitude, reflection, and personal renewal.

MEANINGFUL AND MINDFUL WORDS

As part of my exploration of my Word of the Year "Mindful" I've come across a few terms recently that have caught my eye. They're words that have depth and meaning to them that carries a little "something" that I'd like to incorporate into my own life. I've chosen five to explore further over March - which is going to be my month of meaningful, mindful reflection.

The first of these words that caught my eye is Eremition - a word I'd never heard before, but one that resonated and gives me a description of how life has been for me over the last few years....

THE TIMELESS APPEAL OF CANDLES IN MODERN HOMES

Candles have remained a beloved feature of homes for centuries, valued for their gentle illumination, mood, atmosphere and comfort.

INTRO

Today on the blog I'm sharing a really interesting post on the benefits of candles in our homes, and why they're still such popular gifts today. I hope you enjoy this lovely collaboration and that it inspires you to light a candle and enjoy the scent and serenity...

WHAT DOES BEING MINDFUL MEAN TO ME?

What does living mindfully in the present moment mean to you? Here's a few thoughts about how to achieve those mindful moments.

INTRO

Today on the blog I have a wonderful guest blogger joining me....Denyse Whelan. Denyse and I have been blogging friends for several years; recently she moved her blog over to Substack. She's taking a few week's break, but normally she writes there every week, sharing her journey of recovery from severe burnout and the lessons she's learning along the way.

I noticed recently that she wrote a great post about being Mindful (my Word of the Year for 2026) so it immediately caught my eye. (And if you have something on being Mindful that you'd like to share here, please email me and we'll make it happen). Denyse has very generously allowed me to share her original post, so without further ado, here is Denyse with what she's been learning about being Mindfully present in the "now".....

FROM FINE LINES TO FIRM SKIN: WHY COLLAGEN IS KEY IN YOUR MIDLIFE SKINCARE ROUTINE

Today I have an interesting collaboration on why collagen is important and how to include it in our skincare routine.

INTRO

I never used to think about my skin much - just threw on a bit of moisturizer and off I'd go into my day. But, as I'm aging (yes we all are...) I've realized I probably need to up my skincare game a little, and collagen is certainly high on the list of things to look into. 

Today on the blog I have an interesting collaboration on why collagen is important and how to include it in our skincare routine. I hope you find it as interesting as I did.

BOUNDARIES, CREATING SPACE, AND BEING MINDFUL OF MY LIMITS

I'm not good at holding space - I get a lot of my identity from other people, and I have very poor self-differentiation.

KNOWING ISN'T ALWAYS ENOUGH

Several years ago I finally (way too late!) discovered what a personal boundary was, and how important it is to draw a line in the sand when it comes to dealing with difficult and demanding people. I wrote a blog post about it because I thought I'd grasped the concept, had teased it out as to how it would help me in the future, and I had begun to put it into place. Little did I know how easily my line in the sand could be erased and how porous those boundaries could be....

THE TRUTH ABOUT MIDLIFE SKIN RENEWAL: WHAT’S WORTH TRYING?

Some helpful tips for renewing your skin in Midlife - healthy habits, skin care, and rejuvination treatments.

INTRO

I don't write much about skincare or beauty - I'm not an influencer or someone who's overly concerned about keeping up with all the fuss that's made about trying to look like a 30 year old...but, living in a hot, dry country with a very high UV index, makes me very aware of the importance of looking after my skin. I also know that there's even more that I could be doing if I wanted to take it up a notch.

Today on the blog I'm sharing an interesting collaboration on what that next step can involve...

5 WORDS THAT WILL INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS BASELINE

Hannah Fry encourages us to use "these are the good days" to increase our happiness baseline. I think it sounds like a great idea.

WHAT IS A HAPPINESS BASELINE?

I didn't realize that we all have different happiness baselines. A happiness baseline is the level of happiness or wellbeing that we return to despite the ups and downs of life. Apparently it's influenced by our genetics, our circumstances, and making intentional choices about how we see our world.

Regardless of the starting point we're each at, we can gradually lift our happiness baseline which makes us more positive and more resilient in how we approach life day to day. Recently I came across a really interesting two minute video on how to lift that baseline with 5 simple words....

WHAT DOES "COMMUNITY" LOOK LIKE TO YOU IN THE SECOND HALF OF LIFE?

Does our definition of community change in the second half of life? Showing up regularly keeps our relationships connected and alive.

WHAT DOES COMMUNITY LOOK LIKE IN MIDLIFE?

When I was younger I would have defined "community" as a large and diverse group of people who I interacted with regularly. But, as I immerse myself in Midlife and seek out what feels authentic and comfortable, I find that community looks quite different to how it did back then. I'm finding that I've become quite averse to large groups of people - trying to find my place in a large group feels stressful and I always end up with a headache afterwards.

But does that mean withdrawing from community and living in isolation? No, but it does mean that I seek out what feels like a good fit - and for me that comes in smaller bites these days...

FEELING EMPATHY WITHOUT TAKING OWNERSHIP - FINDING THE BALANCE

Healthy boundaries means we can show empathy and compassion to others without absorbing it into ourselves.

WHEN COMPASSION FEELS OVERWHELMING

Life often brings things into my world that hurt my heart. As time moves along I bump up against hurting people, unfair outcomes, difficult situations, and inexplicable events that I don't understand. It's a little overwhelming at times when the pain from what's happening around me swamps my mind and crushes my spirit.

Recently this hit home very strongly, and I realized that I still have very porous boundaries when it comes to being touched by other people's pain...

DISCOVERING LAGOM - A NEW CONCEPT THAT FITS WELL WITH MY LIFESTYLE

Lagom is the Swedish concept of "Not too little, not too much: just the right amount"

WHAT IS LAGOM?

Lagom is the Swedish concept of "Not too little, not too much: just the right amount" that invites us to embrace a lifestyle based on moderation, sustainability and aiming to achieve balance in our daily life. I think it ties in beautifully with the idea of soft living where we engage in healthy routines, hobbies, and personal interests.

So much of my retired life now centres around finding ways to feel balanced, rested, and unhurried, and I find I've been unintentionally adding Lagom into my choices. Today I'm sharing a few ideas on how that's come about...

GETTING MY CARE-FACTOR FIGURED OUT

I'm finally figuring out the balance between caring too much and not caring enough. It's about being intentional about my care-factor.

CARING TOO MUCH

I spent the first 50+ years of my life caring about too many unimportant things. I cared about what every person I encountered thought, I cared about whether they were judging me or finding me lacking, I cared about never wanting to fail or look foolish, I cared about being not enough or about being too much. I cared about everyone else's problems and how to solve them, and I cared about every world event that came on the news. I spread my energy everywhere, rather than conserving it for what really mattered.

It's been exhausting trying to keep up with the thoughts in my head - and my inner critic who likes to keep whispering in my ear about all that I should be doing to save the world around me. It often held me back from speaking my thoughts, and it made me second guess myself constantly as I tried to walk a line that wasn't even real. Trying to be who I thought I needed to be, to behave in a way that I thought was 'right', to keep all my ducks in a row - it was all so normal, and all so draining....

DO WE NEED A MISSION, A PURPOSE, OR A DIRECTION IN RETIREMENT?

HOW DO WE DEFINE OUR SELF-WORTH WHEN WE RETIRE?

SELF-WORTH AND PRODUCTIVITY

A little while ago I read a really thought provoking article by Bernie Sewell on Tiny Buddah. It was about how she finally clicked to the fact that her life mattered - even without a big purpose or direction. I think it resonated so deeply with me because it's how living the retired life can feel at times.

We leave behind a career, most of our parenting, our busy life where we ran from one commitment to another - and we can be left with questions like "who am I?" and "where do I go from here?" It's all a little unsettling until we come to the realization that our worth is intrinsic, and needs to be separated from what we do.

A QUIET SENSE OF HAPPINESS PERVADING MY LIFE

Midlife has brought me many blessings. One of the most delightful is the sense of peace, and calm, and quiet happiness  that pervades me life.

MIDLIFE HAS BROUGHT ME PEACE

Midlife has brought me many blessings, and I have ten years of blog posts to confirm that. One of the most delightful is the sense of peace, and calm, and quiet happiness that pervades my life every day. It's like a little secret joy that I hug to myself when I notice it settling around my shoulders. 

For so many years I was focused on pushing forward and keeping all the balls in the air, I didn't have a lot of time for "me". I'd never had huge expectations or big dreams, but I also didn't have the mental space to know whether that was because I didn't want them, or because I was too busy to find time for them. Retirement has given me the time to figure all that out...

CURATING A VILLAGE MENTALITY IN A DIGITAL WORLD

If you're doom scrolling and being driven by algorithms, maybe it's time to step back and focus on the village around you instead.

LIVING IN A DIGITAL WORLD

So many people I know spend vast amounts of time keeping up online with all the goings-on in the world. They have opinions on the politics of most countries, they are experts on how to end wars, and they're often quite intense in their responses to the latest news updates. They're instantly impacted by global happenings that they'd never have known about in years gone by until they read it in a newspaper a day or so later.

They really like being informed about everything, but I sometimes wonder if it's good to be so instantly in touch with everything - and can you really trust everything you read online? 

HOW TO MAKE KETO COOKING SIMPLE AND DELICIOUS

A Keto eating plan can be a lot more simple and delicious than you expect.

INTRO

Today on the blog I have a slightly different topic than what I usually write about. I was invited to share a collaboration on Keto cooking, and I thought it would be a great topic for those who are interested in exploring and changing things up a little in their food prep and cooking. 

Our daughter and her husband are both big fans of the Keto way of life and are so much healthier and slimmer as the result. They often mention the health benefits that have come with making the change and how it gets easier to maintain as you settle into the eating plan.

IF REACHING OUT ISN'T WORKING, MAYBE IT'S TIME TO START REACHING IN

It's good to reach out in stressful times, but often you need to reach in and do some inner work too.

REACHING OUT OR REACHING IN

I saw a quote a while back on Tiny Buddha that said:

On my darkest days I couldn't reach out.
Let's stop telling people to reach out,
And start to reach in.

It struck a chord in my heart as I look back on the times I struggled with my difficult job, and with another environment I was in that had become untenable for me. When I think about it all now, I spent too much time reaching out, and took far too long to start reaching in...