LIVING LEAN AND LIVING CLEAN
I'm not sure why, but I've never been a big
spender and I don't tend to get caught up in wanting to buy the newest
gadgets, fashions, or fads. I guess I'm a bit of a "less is more" kind of
girl, and that's been a bonus when it comes to keeping down the clutter in our home and maintaining a tidy environment.
What I've noticed though, as the Western world has seemingly become more and more affluent, is that many people with spare cash tend to spend it on
possessions. They fill their homes with furniture, gadgets, clothing, shoes,
beauty products, and so much more. I think "less is more" has been replaced
with "more is more" these days, and it all takes time to maintain and
organize. Recently I received an email from one of the lovely women who read
my blog that said (in part):
I’m at the stage where I want to get rid of things (possessions) that tie me down . I have cupboards full of clothes and shoes and my house is full of stuff.
Can you please do an article on how to live light (I think you have already done one, and I think I took your advice but I feel like my stuff is having babies) I feel frustrated and overwhelmed when I step into my house or when I must get ready for work and open my cupboard and the stuff is screaming at me… pick me, pick me.
WHAT DOES MONEY MEAN TO YOU?
I was flattered to be asked for advice because
living minimally is something that just comes naturally to me, often because there wasn't a surplus of cash lying around to spend on
extra stuff. If I had the choice between keeping my bank account flush or
buying something on credit and paying for it later, I'd always go with money
in the bank. It's taken me many, many decades to realize that money in the
bank means security to me, whereas my husband sees it differently - he says
money is only worth something when it's used to buy things.
Over the years we've met somewhere in the middle - I've loosened the purse
strings and he thinks and researches before he purchases something new. So,
to make a long-ish story shorter, I've never been drawn to shopping and
buying lots of stuff.....but over time, things still build up and the
wardrobe fills with clothes bought here and there, the cupboards fill with
coffee cups (where do they all come from?!) and the closets fill with things
that get tucked away for a rainy day.
WHY DO WE SHOP TIL WE DROP?
I think the first question to ask is "why do we keep buying more and more
stuff?" perhaps there's an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Does
buying or having more and more stuff soothe something inside us? Is it a
habit to shop and always bring home something new? Are we compensating for
something that was missing in our earlier days or that we're missing in our life right now? Do we feel the need to keep up with the Joneses or with what we see on social media? Or are we just attracted to
bright, shiny things and money is burning a hole in our pocket?
I've also realized that some people like to be surrounded by pretty things
in their homes, others like having all the comforts and cosiness that come
from having a full house. I've met people who have a house full of all the
sentimental keepsakes from their parents, or from a desire to create
collections. But sometimes they just keep adding more and more until it all
feels a bit overwhelming and they don't know where to begin when it comes to
thinning the surplus.
THIS IS WHAT I DO
My theory on
keeping things under control, minimizing clutter, and never hitting that point of overwhelm (which is different for each of
us) is to only buy when I need something, or when I love something. I'm not
as frugal as I used to be, but I'm also not drawn to buying for the sake of
spending money. And my most helpful tips for keeping the overwhelm under
control would be:
1. Start small - tackle one
area at a time. Each season I have a look at what didn't get worn during the
past 6 months. If I still like it I keep it, if it's lost its appeal I put
it aside to donate or to dispose of. I find there's always several items of
clothing or shoes that no longer serve their purpose and they get donated. I
figure if worse comes to worst and I regret giving something away, I can always replace it down the track,
and so far that's never happened. If you try to take on your entire
wardrobe in one sitting then overwhelm is going to be the result and it all
becomes too onerous, so just do a little bit here and there.
2. One out for every new purchase
- I don't rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic. If I buy a new item of furniture,
or clothing, or whatever, I get rid of what I'm replacing - I sell it on
Facebook Marketplace or I donate it, or if it's past its time then I bin it.
I'm ruthless with this because stuffing something into another room or a
cupboard "until later" just delays the inevitable, or creates a problem for down the track
when it's time to move house or to downsize - nobody loves a spare bedroom stuffed full of "stuff".
3. Do the occasional browse and sort
- every so often if I have a bit of spare time, I have a look in my kitchen
cupboards or the bedroom closets and see what's lurking in there unused and
unloved. I toss out old containers, cups, nicknacks, unwanted gifts, half
used and out of date stuff, old linen, towels etc. I'll bundle it up and
donate it or bin it - there's no point keeping it if I'm not using it. "If in doubt, toss it out" is my motto these days; the
space it clears makes me happy - clear space equals a clear mind for
me.
WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT
Some people thrive in a cluttered and eclectic home - they love filling it,
and they love finding more to add, and that's perfectly fine. Others of us
prefer open space, less in the wardrobe, and
room to breathe. I remember our kids saying their friends thought we lived in a "display
home" because it was always tidy. When you have less, it's easy to keep
things tidy and for me a tidy home equalled less mental stress. The funny
thing is that now both our children are adults, and they both live in tidy, clutter-free homes of
their own.....so there must have been something that appealed to them in
that way of living too.
Ultimately it all comes back to balance - finding that sweet spot where you
own your possessions and they don't own you. I also like the fact that we
aren't creating a nightmare for our children down the track - there won't be
a huge clearout and time consuming days of sorting and selling. Simple
living just makes sense to me.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Hopefully that answers the original question a little. Do you
have any extra tips to add to mine? It's so different for each of us, but I
think we all desire to live in an environment that soothes us rather than
one that creates overwhelm and stress.
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Other than books (my achilles heel) I don't buy a lot. I tend to do a full cleanout of every room at least once a year - twice a year for the pantry and my closet, although that's more to throw out anything full of holes than to identitfy potential donations to the op shop. My husband tends to belong to the "we'll hang onto this in case we need it even though we just bought a new one" camp.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - you sound a lot like me when it comes to doing a prowl around the cupboards to see what isn't needed anymore. I confess to chucking out many a tee shirt that has been worn to death and isn't fit for donating. It's a good feeling when everything has a purpose and place - I find it very soothing.
DeleteThat “Shop ‘Till You Drop” paragraph hit a bit close to home for me. As you are fully aware, I do have several cabinets full of things I have collected over the past 80+ years of my life, which I don’t wish to part with. Also I have far too many clothes and shoes which definitely do need to be thinned out. Moving from a large home to a small unit recently has been quite a challenge when paring back lots of accumulated stuff’. It is a work in progress, as impromptu shopping was a bad habit in the past which I have managed to control in latter years. I’m hoping to lessen the job of emptying out my unit for you when I finally pop my clogs!
ReplyDeleteI think you've done amazingly well when you consider what you had five years or so ago - all that stuff from Dad that had to be sorted and sold off - that was a huge undertaking - but well worth it for when it came time for the big move. Downsizing is the perfect opportunity to cull further (think of all that kitchen stuff you got rid of!) and I think you're more aware now of what's impulse buying, and what's buying for joy - too different scenarios. Nobody should live without an occasional joyful purchase - if it makes your heart smile then it should be kept and enjoyed. I'm happy to sort through a few display cabinets when you go to meet your maker at 120. xx
DeleteHi, Leanne - I agree with you that living a clutter free life all comes down to balance, and will look different for each of us. I recently did a 30-Day Decluttering Challenge for each room (or section of room) in my home. I loved the small-bite, daily approach and found that it worked very well for me. <3
ReplyDeleteHi Donna - that 30 Day Challenge sounds like the perfect plan for someone who wants to tackle de-cluttering in a manageable way. I think it can feel really daunting if you don't know where to start, or if you go in too big at the beginning and get overwhelmed by the overwhelm. I'm so glad you found the balance and I bet you're enjoying the extra head space you've gained with the physical space you cleared.
DeleteHi Leanne like yourself I find it overwhelming to have lots of things filling every inch in my home. I have been decluttering over recent years and particularly last year when I moved into an apartment. I now realize that over the years I didn't have the money to buy expensive quality items so spent my money on lots of little bits and piece...clutter!!! I now only buy what I really love and if it costs a bit more that's ok because I haven't spent my money on other things. I am much happier now although occasionally I will digress and have to reel myself in!!
ReplyDeleteI've been guilty of buying little bits and pieces for the sake of "just buying something" but now I find myself thinning all those out - keeping a few sentimental ones and donating the rest. I'd rather have something nice that cost a bit more too - it makes me value it and I know I really wanted it if I was prepared to spend those extra dollars. It's a fine balance between minimal and spartan - I don't want to live in an empty, clinical looking space or a space that's too full of stuff I don't need or enjoy. I think we're both getting the balance right. :)
DeleteHi Leanne. As you know we've been traveling for so long that living as minimalists is second nature. Even though we have a place, now, I wouldn't know how to be any other way. I do enjoy shopping, but only because we don't do it very often, and the things we end up buying, such as the new furniture, is special to us. I enjoyed your post. Have a great week. Xx
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - I think being nomadic would definitely make you fairly minimalist, and everything you buy would be thoughtfully assessed as to whether it fits your lifestyle. It also gives you the opportunity to redefine your style and taste with each move - something a lot of us who are rooted in one place don't have the same impetus to undertake. I've really enjoyed seeing your style in your previous apartment and look forward to seeing how this next stage of life presents itself. x
DeleteIt’s your mother calling to let you know that I’m recovering in my rocking chair after dicing approximately 15 pairs of shoes, sneakers and slippers. What it is to have such an inspirational daughter! Lol. XX
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I inspired you and that you're doing it in manageable little bursts. If you can remove 15 pairs then you probably had 15 pairs too many. I'm very proud of you! xx
DeleteDear Leanne,
ReplyDeleteWe recently shifted homes and loved binning almost 60% of the stuff we had. When you live in one place for 13 years you unknowingly tend to accumulate.
Though every quarter or two months I tend to let go of things, clothes etc.; and give them to charity, or people who could benefit from them mostly.
I hear you on the coffee mugs - we had about 60!!! No idea how we hoarded so many. Even though we were a fam of 4, now 3 as the older one moved to her own pad.
We had 4 balconies and 1 terrace full of plants and trees too.Those have been trimmed out too- though that was the hardest to do for me. I'm not so attached to material things. But once I did with love in my heart, it lightened the load and the new home balconies look more spruced up.
Since this apartment didn't have a terrace this was also the only thing to do.
I'm loving our tidy, airy, uncluttered new home, and planning to keep it this way. Even the last one was never too cluttered, though we realised we could easily let go of 50% of the stuff there.!
Clutter stops one from growing and opening out to the new opportunities and journeys in life.
With clothes, if I buy one I choose to give away two, mostly.
I no longer keep broken antique pieces to mend, I just bin them. Or even the one's that end up in the closet for later use. We just let go, let go.
A clutter free life is the most peaceful and one where we can flow. And make spaces for good things to arrive.
Thanks for the reminder, as I still need to tackle another room, and my dresser. :)
Hi Natasha - that's just so fantastic! It's such a good feeling when you have room to breathe and when you feel on top of everything isn't it? Sometimes I think I need to move house more often so I toss out more stuff, but seeing we're very settled where we are, I pick a room every so often to look through and thin out.
DeleteThe kitchen is always a collection point for plastic ware, cups, glasses, and more - I think I have about 20 coffee cups and that's after culling at least 6 recently. They just keep appearing! I'm a huge fan of clear benchtops and can never understand people having clutter all over their benches - mail, pamphlets, bills etc - just file it, bin it, or sort it - don't pile it up.
You're also right about opening yourself up to the new opportunities when you get rid of old stuff - it gives you a fresh eye and permission to change direction - whether it's with your clothes, your furnishings, or just the space in general. I totally understand people wanting to keep things they value and love, but there's a lot that can be shifted out and sent to new homes - definitely "let it go, let it go..."
Thanks for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment and I'll be cheering you on as you tackle that dresser - I'll be doing my winter wardrobe overview soon and I'm sure a few bits and pieces will find their way to being donated. :)
Leanne, I can't begin to tell you what your post meant to me. I have accumulated a lot of stuff over the tears and now it's a nightmare just to clean the house. I have been cleaning for weeks now and I am exhausted. Lots of books, clothes, beauty products, shoes and things my belated mother gave me. I am so overwhelmed at the present time and I no longer enjoy my home. Your post came at the right time and is giving me hope. I no longer spend money on things unless it's an absolute need. I need to find the strength and the courage to throw things away as it is all so burdensome. Thank you so much for writing about this topic. You're always an answer to my prayers .It seems that when I am struggling with an issue, I'll open your blog and you're posting about the very issue that I am struggling with.
DeleteHi Yvonne - I think you are the perfect example of what I was saying about asking ourselves why we have so much excess. I truly believe that we use possessions as a way to soothe ourselves or to keep memories.....and that's lovely until it becomes too much and they start to own us instead of bringing us joy.
DeleteI would really strongly tell you not to tackle too much at one time - that just adds to the overwhelm - instead, take it one little bite at a time - one room, one cupboard, one surface. Each small success encourages you towards the next step. I think as you clear little spaces you'll have such a sense of achievement and the clarity of the space will gladden your heart. I'd also suggest you start with the things that don't have sentimental value - the beauty products that have long ago expired, the clothes that you no longer wear etc. The Marie Kondo question of is it useful or does it bring me joy really helps with making the decisions about what to let go of.
Wishing you well - and I know you'll slowly get on top of it all - sending you a hug and a big high five. xx
I'm a regular run-through-the-house-and-reduce-person. I can't function in clutter. I need free bench space in kitchen, laundry and bathrooms. I like to see what clothes I have and regularly have a remove. If I haven't worn it for a year, off it goes. I buy very few clothes, iron and hang what I have, clean shoes and put shoe trees in, store handbags in their bag covers. That way, my stuff has lasted for an age. I'm not into fast-fashion and only buy on necessity and it has to be classic which will last for years and years.
ReplyDeleteExcept, like Jo, for my books. I find it hard to throw any out which is why I love my Kindle. I can store hundreds and hundreds of titles without cluttering the house.
My garden is the only place where I allow clutter. There's nothing more pleasing than a full border or overflowing veggie or herb garden. Mum used to get me into her home once or twice a year and together we would clean out the shelves and drawers as she wanted to 'leave the place tidy and with only what really mattered.' I used to love those times with Mum.
Hi Prue - so lovely to meet someone else who loves clear benchtops! I find it soothes my soul to have room to move in my kitchen and bathroom etc without having to shift stuff out of the way. I just love the look of a smooth shiny surface that isn't covered in clutter and "stuff". And don't get me started on people who use their dining tables as storage spaces - pushing piles of paper to one side to be able to eat is just way out of my realm of understanding.
DeleteAnd yes, Iike you, I like to sort through my wardrobe regularly. I find that now I'm no longer working, I really don't need many outfits - I have a few tucked away in case I need to go somewhere special, but the majority is just casual wear that seems to last and last. And I figure I need less shoes too these days - and they wear well because it's only my walking sneakers that get a lot of wear.
And I also thank covid for making me start using my Kindle - which I'm now in love with and it's replaced my need for "real" books - so much variety, so little space that it takes up - and so portable - I just love it. And I'm also with you as far as inspiring my mum to keep on top of all her stuff - the more she culls, the less I'll have to do when the time comes....
I think I fall somewhere in the middle; clutter tends to bother me a lot so I work hard to make sure everything coming into our home has a place and if it's not serving some sort of purpose it's got to go! I've had to be a bit more flexible with this as my boys are now adults and still living at home but I also know they won't live here forever so their clutter is temporary (like the huge pile of dorm living supplies we have to store when my son isn't at college and usually kept to a room I don't HAVE to go into!). But I definitely think growing up they've slowly picked up on those habits too and I don't see any of them living in cluttered houses either.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - clutter definitely decreases as the kids grow up and leave home, and I made sure they took their stuff with them when the time came for a permanent moving out - no keeping their rooms set up as shrines to their childhood like some of my friends did. It was so much nicer to have clean, clear rooms for them to stay in when they visited - and to feel like they were special and not still little children.
DeleteI loved that they now live in homes that are a pleasure to visit - it feels like the tidy vibe they grew up with was something they appreciated and wanted to keep in their own spaces. It feels nice when we visit to see them so organized and using their space well.
Living minimally is something I can relate to. I also do that. Your practical tips, like starting small and doing regular clear-outs, are also really good. For me, simplifying my space has definitely brought more peace and clarity.
ReplyDeleteHi Pradeep - I think I really thrive the most in a simplified space. Clutter and too "much" just makes me tired - I'm coming to see that clarity is a result of intentional living - and that begins with having room to breathe.
DeleteLeanne, your post is timely for our current situation. If you remember our cycle, we downsized from a large home three years ago, eliminated a lot of stuff, lived lean for a while as we leased a variety of residences, and eventually inherited a home - filled with furniture. We did our best to eliminate excess and combine furnishings, making it our own. After seven months of life in the home we inherited from my MIL, it is time to declutter again.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion for decluttering a closet, or pantry is to remove everything and sort piece by piece into bins - keep, donate, throw away, then return things orderly to the empty space. I'll be doing just that in the coming weeks, just in time to bring in Holiday decorations.
Funny thing about our clutter, we are not big shoppers, we are just a little disorganized and forget that we already have three bottles of catsup when we purchase a fourth one. And, I always need a new white shirt or pair of jeans - of course I do.
Hi Suzanne - combining your parent's belongings with your own and the having to figure out what to keep and what to let go would have been such a difficult task. I think it's easier to make those decisions when there's no sentimental attachment because that adds a whole extra layer to the process. You've done well and maybe the original clear out gave you the skills to tackle the second one.
DeleteI'm not a big shopper either, but things do tend to build up regardless. And yes, the tackling of one cupboard or one closet at a time and doing a deep dive is such a great way of gain with minimal pain. I think the biggest struggle for me has been the fact that since covid, the thrift shops are drowning in donations and often close off their collection points for periods of time - there's nothing worse than driving around with a big bag of really good stuff to donate and nowhere to leave it....
I like that idea of "If in doubt, toss it out". Must try this.
ReplyDeleteHi Haddock - it's a favourite mantra of mine - I think there's only been one occasion when I wondered if I should have kept something, whereas there are many, many times I realized I should have tossed out even more.
DeleteAnd then there's the "have everything flood" method of decluttering.
ReplyDeleteI realized that hubby's need to buy things and not give away things came from his childhood lack of having things. And I was coming to terms with that.
For me, it's books. I loved having books that impacted me still on my bookshelf. And artwork - which we actually were able to save (higher on the walls).
But most of our "clutter" is gone. Except clothing and shoes - we've sworn to each other to reduce as well. We will be donating half of what we have.... so we don't have to move it again.
Pat I really felt for you both with that flooding - knowing how attached your husband was to his "stuff" would have made it even more heart wrenching for him. It says a lot about you both that you can let all that go and use it to springboard into a different way of viewing your possessions. I guess it comes back to owning things rather than things owning us.
DeleteI really hope that you can look back on this awful time and find some positives from it when you're all settled again - and that there's no repeat incidents in the years ahead!
Great topic I see and yes I have culled and culled over the past 10 years…house moves and changing life priorities along with retirement from teaching meant lots of changes. Teachers tend to keep stuff “Just in case” and I still find I’m reluctant to throw out a box for instance…because it could be made into something. Then I remember there are no classes nor grandkids to make stuff with anymore. I am practical AND sentimental so I can be good at giving away or selling..( I admit I hate doing on-Line selling but B sold a lots of tools thanks to me back in 2022). We are in the smallest place ever right now and it’s been great so know what we can manage with. Life helps us make the choices we do. Great topic again. Denyse
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I think house moves are great incentives to do a bit of a cull and to know that it's that much less to pack! We've been in our current home for 15 years and I see things accumulating - when that happens, I tackle a cupboard or closet and see what I can cheerfully move on to a new home. Even little things can make a difference - I got rid of 4 coffee cups the other day because I'd received a couple of new ones and I was happy to move a few of the older ones out the door. Small things - like not keeping those handy boxes you mentioned (something my husband is noted for!) make it less often that we have to do the big clear out, and we save our kids having to do it down the track. :) x
DeleteLook at the number of readers with whom this post resonated!! Me, included!! I am going into my closet tomorrow...if you don't hear from me again, I got swallowed up in there. Have started really trying to shop for specific things rather than seeing something pretty and being lured into buying it because it is pretty, or trendy, or on sale. I need to follow your good advice to purge something I am replacing with something new. Especially when it comes to shoes. I hang on far too long. Anxious to get this boot off once and for all and get back to exercising and see what fits and what never will again.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie - I think the amount of possessions that feels comfortable is different for all of us. I know my mum had a HUGE amount of clothes - she'd be forever snapping up new stuff (exactly how you described it), but she's downsized her house and had to do a serious cull - that opened her eyes to how much she had that she'd never really worn or only worn once or twice. The secondhand stores have been swamped with her donations :)
DeleteI think the key really is to do a little at a time, change of season works perfectly because we're often shifting clothes from one area to another. But it's other little things too - I got rid of 4 coffee cups the other day - because, seriously, where do they all come from and why do I need 20???? And I'm also tending to buy less and to buy more intentionally - it's just wasted money otherwise. Good luck with that wardrobe!