MIDLIFE CHANGES
Midlife brings with it so many discoveries, challenges and changes. I can't
believe how much I've learned about myself (and others) over the last decade
or so, it's like the blinkers came off at 50 and I've just found more and
more layers to peel away or develop.
I've come to see that it's not a switch that gets flipped, but a series of
stages that we grow through - different eras (a Taylor Swift reference there
if you missed it) that link together to create a new way of being. Today I
thought I'd share some of those eras, seasons and chapters.....
A NEW CHAPTER
The second half of life is where we've passed the halfway mark in the book
of life and we're heading towards the really interesting stuff - we've done
the research, and now we're ready to see where all the preparation is
leading to. I found a great quote that says what the Midlife chapter is all
about:
I could not have put it better in a million years - every.single.one of
these choices resonated with me. It's exactly what this second half of life
is becoming for me. It's where our focus turns from doing what we can to get
through, and changes to be more about intentionality and becoming the very
best version of ourselves so that we can speak into the lives of others with
love, kindness, and grace.
MY SOFT ERA
I wrote a post a while back about being in my
Soft Girl Era and I've also discovered that there's a Quiet Girl Era that ties in
beautifully with it...
I like that this second half of life is more peaceful, less stressful, less busy, I'm
less bothered by other people's behaviour, and I just feel more positive
in my every day outlook.
MY "NEVER AGAIN" ERA
This time of life for me is all about looking back at lessons learned and
not repeating mistakes. I'm particularly focused on
having strong boundaries
(still a work in progress!) and knowing what's mine to take on, and what
can be let go.
I've become so much better at
stepping away
from people and situations that drain my energy, I'll invest my time and
care into places where it's appreciated and reciprocated, but not where
I'm drained and dry and exhausted from fruitless effort.
MY "IT GETS BETTER" ERA
The more time I invest in becoming calmer, deeper, steadier,
more centered, the more I see my life improving. I feel like this second half of life
has been my era of life getting better.
It feels really good when life starts to align, when you live within your
values, when you feel like you're gaining wisdom from all those life
experiences you worked your way through. This chapter of life just feels
"right" and settled, and fulfilling. You can't ask much more from life than
that can you?
MY "GOING FORWARD" ERA
As much as it's nice to feel like the second half of life is a time of
reaping some of the rewards from the first half, I remember writing a blog
post a while back about
life being in thirds, and that this is the beginning of the 3rd third. When I break the
chapters of my life up in that way, there is a whole new season that I'm
heading into - and that's my next challenge. I want to keep living a life that feels authentic, being open to new ideas, gaining wisdom, engaging with others, and living mindfully and meaningfully.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you see eras, chapters, and seasons in your life? What era do you feel
like you're in? I don't know about you, but I love that there's still more
to come and more to discover as life opens up new chapters for us to
write.
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Hi, Leanne - I love how we continually grow and evolve. Like you, I joyfully aniticipate more to come, more to learn, more to discover and more to adjust to new chapters. <3
ReplyDeleteHi Donna - it's a good feeling knowing that there's still more chapters to delve into, more to discover and to flourish in. I think the more we focus on the positives the second half of life brings with it, the more we sink into it with gratitude and grace. You are a shining example of both. x
DeleteOh I definitely see eras/chapters in life and am really enjoying the ones I am in currently! I look forward to seeing how the changes happening around me will change me and my outlook though.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - yes, the world around us will always have an impact, but I've come to see that I can only focus on what I have direct (or indirect) influence on, and I let the rest go (and just pray when I get worried). Life really is good for most of us, and remembering that while anticipating what's to come is such a lovely way to live.
DeleteLeanne, you have once again beautifully articulated the seasons of our lives and the internal struggles we face while becoming who we were meant to be. The 'New Chapter' statements resonate, especially 'Living more intentionally' and 'prioritizing what fuels my soul'. Those are two I practice daily.
ReplyDeleteI think I am through my Soft era and my Never Again era. At least I hope I've grown beyond those. It feels good to not try so hard, or care so much about what others think. These days I am unapologetically ME.
Hi Suzanne - I'm following in your wake :) I'm getting better at being "me" - and that "me" is definitely a little softer, a little less hyper-aware, and calmer and more centered. I like that I know myself better and each chapter brings with it more confidence and more grace. You can't ask much more from life can you?
DeleteYou've done such a fabulous job of articulating this, Leanne. I'm approaching my quiet era as this year ends. Choosing more and more to be rather than do.
ReplyDeleteHi Corinne - I read somewhere the other day that the first half of life needs to be about "doing" - establishing yourself, making a home, creating a family, working hard etc. The second half (if done well) becomes more about who we are and investing into others - that speaks of "being" to me - and I really like the concept. Thanks for sharing my post on FB and for understanding and sharing this journey of Midlife. :)
DeleteHi Leanne. This stage of new growth, for me is coming in 2025. It's my goal, to having worked through alot of pain, I can finally find peace. My research, to reach this stage, was doing my morning pages, as well as writing in a gratitude journal. Both have helped me a great deal, in finding my way to peace. Like you mentioned, there will be times, when things crop up from the past, and I thought a situation was behind me, but I find that I can look at it with a whole new perspective, because in that area, I'm healed. I'm going to share this. Xx
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - thanks so much for sharing the post and for sharing this journey of discovery. I think when we realize that we can't fix everything and everyone, and give ourselves some time to work through that, we come out the other side with a peaceful heart and a sense of groundedness and that healing you're experiencing. It kills the soul to dwell on the hurts and the "what ifs" and I don't want to become a bitter old woman full of blame and misery - so I'm choosing intentionally to create my story in a way that each new chapter brings joy and gratitude - it's a lovely way to live. Roll on 2025! x
DeleteIt’s so nice to read pieces like these! It silences that noise in my head that tells me that I should spend my time more wisely. Now is the time to do things before “it’s too late”. That’s all lies! So I’m off to discover and embrace my new era!
ReplyDeleteThat's lovely Mika - I think we're often so focused on the future that we forget to enjoy the present. I spent so many years worrying about getting a nest egg together, how I'd never have enough to retire etc etc, and it was all for nothing. Living well, living within your means, living for what really matters - that's what counts for writing our era chapters well. :)
DeleteHi Leanne - The concept of eras and chapters in midlife is nice one. It is important that we set boundaries and stay within it. The idea of life continuing to evolve, is a wonderful reminder that growth and discovery don't stop with age.
ReplyDeleteHi Pradeep - I think growth and discovery are both essential if we want to age well and become one of those wise old people who others are drawn to. If we refuse to embrace change we run the risk of stagnating and being miserable - I know which type of older person I want to be!
DeleteHi Leanne, so much wisdom and experience here! I like how you have broken the ages down and the idea of a soft and quiet era is something to aspire to!
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I have really enjoyed finding myself in a softer and gentler rhythm of life - it gives me the head and heart space to be kinder and calmer (and I've needed both several times over recent years). I'm much more invested in letting the old pass and embracing the new seasons as they come - they hold so much promise if we let them.
DeleteI'm ahead of you..way ahead...in terms of chronological age, and I admit turning 75 is quite challenging.
ReplyDeleteI am being shunted to "drivers licence fitness to drive" and "medical tests at this age" to see how you are going. It all feels very threatening in some ways from the relative independence of the last 10 or so years.
I am going to make the best of what I can by continuing my gratitude practice and not going down too many slippery slopes of worries and fears.
I am not trying to be a downer but I am a very realistic person and know what life is like for me now is to be appreciated as it's not looking 'pretty' into that not known future.
I do keep things in perspective as much as I can but acknowledge many of the physical changes ageing has brought me.
Thanks for sharing your kind words here Leanne.
Denyse x
Hi Denyse - getting older is hard isn't it? My husband has just come back from cutting a 6 day walk short because his body just gave up after a big day. Needless to say he is having to face that he's not 40 anymore - and that's very frustrating.
DeleteWhat I'm coming to see is that physical aging can be slowed and managed, but not controlled. Our bodies wear out (even though our minds still believe we're 40!) I'm really working at growing a mindset of positive acceptance - facing the fact that I can't stop the seasons, but I can find something to be grateful for each and every day. Being realistic (as you mentioned) and also full of gratitude and choosing to focus on the good, rather than dwelling on the not-so-good, is the key for this chapter for me. x
I'm not sure I'm noticing eras (which doesn't say much as I often don't notice anything until I'm way past it), but the way I figure it, it's an evolution thing for me - and that's ongoing.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - yes, evolution, changing chapters, moving through seasons and eras - all of it is more obvious when we look in the rearview mirror. What I'm trying to do is to be a little more appreciative of where I am, and a little more proactive and intentional about where I'm going. I want to always be smiling when I look ahead, and when I look back over my shoulder - life is so good if we choose to enjoy it.
DeleteI think I've just reached a pivotal moment in life and will be entering a new era. Not sure what this one will hold.... the crash of my old lifestyle is painful as I was really enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - when you're in the middle of a crash, or in the early stages of recovery, it's huge and overwhelming. I'm sure (in time) you'll look back on this as a pivotal moment and maybe even the beginning of something even better than you had - clean slate and all that stuff......but in the meantime you're allowed to grieve and feel the loss. xx
Delete