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WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE WITH EQUANIMITY?
When I chose "Equanimity" as my Word of the Year for 2024 I knew it would be a challenge. It's not
a word that comes up in day-to-day conversation, but it's full of depth and
gravitus, and I just love the ideas that come with it. For me, it's about
being centered, grounded, and at peace with the world around me.
This year I've wanted to live from a heart-centered worldview - to be calm
and grounded on the inside and to be able to move through life's ups and
downs without being too buffeted by them. I'm at the halfway mark and I'm
reminded that I'm still a work in progress....
WHEN LIFE IS GOING WELL
It's really easy to choose to be calm and at peace when life is going
smoothly. I've become really good at going with the flow and worrying about
things less than I used to. As my life has become simpler and less rushed, I
can feel that I'm not as bothered by little annoyances as I used to be.
Sometimes I think that I was born to be retired - I'm really good at
it!
Retirement has allowed me to step back from fitting my life in around a
job, I no longer have to worry about all the responsibilities that my work
used to entail. I can do what I like, when I like - and I love that feeling.
I definitely feel less stressed and less anxious than I used to. Equanimity
fits in well with my life these days - I choose
what to focus on, and I choose
what to let go, and life progresses smoothly.....usually.....
WHEN LIFE THROWS UP SOME CHALLENGES
In amongst all the smooth sailing, life still likes to shake things up a
little. I guess we don't learn and grow if there aren't any challenges to
keep us on our toes. I've noticed a few little hiccups in my life this year
that have included pulling back from
a long term commitment, and also stepping away from a long term
family connection. Both rattled me, both made me question myself and my values. But both
also reminded me that I'm stronger than I used to be, more aware of what
matters to me, and I know my worth and how to maintain boundaries more than
I did previously.
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WHERE TO FROM HERE?
For the remainder of the year I want to delve deeper into living with
equanimity, to live a heart-centered life that helps me grow into the person
I'm wanting to become. I found ten attributes of heart-centered living
online that can be expanded further:
- Love
- Courage
- Compassion
- Discipline
- Generosity
- Mindfulness
- Playfulness
- Vulnerability
- Boundaries
- Joy
My plan is to delve into each of them and see where I can grow more. Some
I'm better at than others, and there's lots of room for me to stretch myself
and discover how to live life well. I'm really loving the idea that this
second half of life is full of so many opportunities to progress and become
a better, more grounded, more authentic, more real version of myself. This
is such a great time to be alive!
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Do you have a Word of the Year and if you do, how's it going? What do you
do to inspire yourself to become who you have the potential to be? Are you
finding that the second half of life is opening up more opportunities to
discover who you are?
RELATED POSTS
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Hi, Leanne - I read previously about the challenges that you mentioned here, and was hoping for them to miraculously resolve themselves. I'm glad that they reminded you of how strong you are and that you are feeling more grounded.
ReplyDeleteThis year and last, I've used a pocket WOTY. Both years they have become daily mantras for me. It is truly incredible how powerful a WOTY can be.
Hi Donna - both issues didn't miraculously resolve (unfortunately) but they haven't eaten into my heart and soul like they once would have. I'm getting better at giving myself a little space and grace - and knowing that "it's not me - it's them!" That's a big one for my oldest child/take responsibility for everything mentality :)
DeleteHi Leanne, I’m new to your blog. I find it very interesting about unbusy living. I retired the end of 2022. I had all these plans of what I was going to do to keep myself busy. January of 2023 my hubby and I took a10 day trip to New Orleans in our motor home. It was fabulous. I was on my way to staying busy and controlling my retirement. Well the good Lord had other plans. In order to really connect with him again he had to allow me to truly slow down. In May of 2023, I fell and broke my wrist. Shattered it actually. Had to have surgery to fix it. I now have plates, screws and pins in it. That slowed me down for 6 months. Then in October I injured my back and pinched a nerve in it. I am just now getting back to normal. I came across your blog and it really touched me about it being ok to be unbusy. Thank you for that. I now just do what I want when I want. If I don’t get it done today it will be here tomorrow. Looking forward to more of your blogs.
ReplyDeleteKathy in Tn.
Hi Kathy - I'm so glad you discovered me and that I could be an encouragement to you while you deal with all the physical issues. Sometimes it takes a big change to make us slow down long enough to figure out how busy we want to be, and to learn to value ourselves based on who we are, rather than on all that we can tick off in a day.
DeleteI used to be a very busy person, now I'm happy just doing life at whatever pace the day decides for me. I really like having days that are quiet and I'm tucked away at home, mixed in with days where I'm out and about and being more active. I've been following John Mark Comer who wrote a book called "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" and it makes a lot of sense to me to live a life that leaves room for God and for thinking and feeling and "being". I hope you'll be back to read more as you find your new normal. :)
Love it. The growing, knowing and glowing.
ReplyDeleteMe too - it was a fantastic little quote to finish off with wasn't it? I'm all for the glow when I can get it :)
DeleteHi Leanne - I am taking one day at a time. Sometimes, a few hours at a time.
ReplyDeleteThis is after I used to get depressed looking ahead to far and worrying about the stuff I couldn't achieve.
So, I reduced the distance to the goal post, as it were, and found that each time I achieved something, that was easily propelling me forward to achieve the next goal.
The second half of my life begins in April next year. There will surely be blog updates on that.
(My latest post: UK Tour 06 - Beamish Museum)
Hi Pradeep - I love the idea of reducing the distance to the goal post and not looking too far ahead. I've certainly learnt that living in the present and not wasting time on the "shoulds" makes life a lot sweeter. You're going to really enjoy the next stage of life - more time to travel, relax, and blog!
DeleteLeanne, I enjoyed reading about your WOTY "status". While I didn't technically pick a WOTY, apparently one picked me. Like you, I'm working on being more grounded, less reactive, more accepting of what is. Acceptance. My life is definitely slow paced (which I like) and I'm more flexible with how things go. I really like the "you've changed" quote!
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - acceptance definitely leads to equanimity - once we get our heads around what really matters to us (and it's different for everybody) then we get to settle into a life that feels more grounded and less buffeted by the opinions of others, or what other people are doing. The "you've changed" quote summed up a lot of thoughts I'd been having and fitted this post perfectly, I'm glad you liked it too.
DeleteMy WOTY is "resolve" and I strive to practice it daily as I advocate for my 91 yr old mom in long term care. I often say to myself - practice resolve which manifests as firm determination. All things are difficult before they are easy; difficulties are meant to arouse not discourage.
ReplyDeleteHi Mona - 'resolve' is a word filled with gravitus too - and one I can see that you'd need when dealing with the aged care system on behalf of your mum. When we turn our attitudes around from expecting life to be without difficulty, and realize that the difficulties are manageable and we can work through them, life gets a lot more satisfying.
DeleteHi Leanne, a great half way through the year catchup on your word Equanimity and your quotes here are spot on! You've outlined the good bits and the not so good bits and it's fabulous that you feel you've grown.
ReplyDeleteMy WOTY is THRIVE and I can see subtle changes since the start of the year to now but often others see a different side of us which can be interesting! I think I'm doing OK with the thriving but life has a ay of throwing up hurdles every now and agin and our age and experience take over. A lovely post!
Hi Deb - I'm glad you could relate to the ups and downs I mentioned. I kind of secretly like the fact that life throws in a few unexpected curveballs now and then - it gives us a bit of a litmus test as to how we're going with growing and thriving as we age. I figure it helps us with our resilience, and I know it builds gratitude for all the good times that we're blessed with.
DeleteThanks for sharing this, Leanne. Even though my word is 'intentional' I can see how I'm learning to receive 'setbacks' with equanimity. I feel my world getting smaller at some levels, with the people I can trust getting fewer. But simultaneously, I can see myself growing and getting a wider view of the world around me. It's as if, by filtering out the toxicity, I'm clearing out space to be clearer about myself and the world around me.
ReplyDeleteHi Corinne - I think you've explained it really well - I too find I have fewer people in my life these days - but they're gold and that's better than dozens of plastic 'friends' who aren't there for us as time goes on. Setbacks come and go, but this second half of life is teaching me that they pass and I often feel stronger and more capable (and more sure of who I am and what I want) when I've weathered the storms.
DeleteYou make a great summary here of your hopes and happenings for this half year. Isn’t it interesting to know now how good it is to be retired! I know I longed for it in the stressful years of being a principal and then it happened too quickly because of my health. All that aside, what we do now IS up to us…most days as long as our health is good and making that a priority gives me a quality of life I did not dream of. I’ve learned to make do with much less financially because of how things went for us but with a grateful heart for my health returned after cancer and being back here in Sydney where I feel most at home. I chose “choice/choose” as my intention in 2024 and it’s been ok! Denyse
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I'm still surprised by how much I enjoy being retired. I have no understanding at all of people who are still working in their mid 60's if they don't need to be. I love the freedom and the flexibility, I find that our income is sufficient for all our needs (which are pretty moderate all things considered) and I really like the peace and calm that comes from not being responsible for other people in a work environment. I was asked to come in for a relief day a couple of weeks ago and turned it down - there was no appeal at all to going back to that lifestyle - even for a day! :)
DeleteYes, Leanne, I am definitely finding the second half of life is opening up more opportunities to discover who I am and at my own pace. It sounds as if your efforts at equanimity and the resilience you've built got you through your recent life hiccups. I look forward to hearing what you have in store for the second half of the year.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I didn't choose a Word of the Year, but have been focusing on small monthly goals, which has been working well for me.
Hi Christie - I think this is the perfect stage of life to take a good look at ourselves and see where we're happy and where we need to redirect to become our best selves. My greatest desire is to be a warm and calm presence and to be more resilient when the tough times hit. Onward and upward!
DeleteI love how you've highlighted the importance of choosing where to focus your energy and what to let go of. This approach is so empowering and is clearly helping you live a more stress-free and fulfilling life. Your ability to remain centered, even when faced with significant challenges, shows incredible strength and self-awareness. Regarding your questions, my Word of the Year is "Resilience," and it's been a powerful guide for me. To inspire myself, I practice mindfulness and set small, achievable goals that align with my values. The second half of life has indeed opened up more opportunities for self-discovery, and like you, I'm finding it a great time to be alive!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey and encouraging others to reflect on their own paths. Here's to a continued year of equanimity and heart-centered living!
Hi Anna - thanks so much for your encouraging words. I think resilience is a great choice for a WOTY - it's something I've had to work on in my own life after a few knockbacks several years ago. I truly believe that living from a centre of quiet confidence and strength gives us the ability to bounce back from just about anything. We'll keep working on ourselves and I'll be doing an update at the end of the year :)
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