LOSING THE HEAVINESS
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about
a few issues that had weighed me down
and the last two are still recent enough for me to know how heavy they've
been to carry. I feel like they've been niggling away at me for months and
they'd dragged my natural buoyancy down. When you have unhappinesses in your
life you can feel like things are bigger and more important than they actually
are.
What I've begun to notice is that, as I accept change in my life, I'm
starting to feel lighter and more at peace, and I wanted to share that
positivity today after a long period of feeling a bit flat....
LETTING GO OF OVERTHINKING
Overthinking is such a waste of time and mental energy - all the what if's
that we bring to mind and work through, all the maybe's that come from that,
all the scenarios and mental conversations that play in our head - and
really......it changes nothing. All it does is bring the negative stuff into
the forefront more than it deserves to be. Overthinking often comes with trying to deal with the discomfort of living with unresolved upsets, and sometimes we need to stop thinking about it and just accept that some things will never be as we'd hoped.
I realized that it's time to let that go, to consciously choose to put
those thoughts out of my head and to think about all the positives that are
in my world. I also remind myself of the efforts I put into resolving the
problems, and that they're not mine to carry. The more baggage I leave
behind, and the more mental weight I shed, the lighter and happier I
am.
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES
Rather than giving headspace to disappointment, or to the unresolved issue, it's
so much more pleasant to
focus my time and energy
into all the positives that I'm blessed with every day. It's not up to me to
save the world, or to save people from themselves, my job is to ensure I
live at peace with my world and to not stir things up; to let them settle
and to be what they will be. In the meantime I turn my attention to what's
ahead, the new challenges that come with moving forward, they're a little
bit daunting, but also they're like a breath of fresh air blowing through
and bringing a new normal.
I like that I can choose to
live lightly (my Word of the Year for 2023) and to engage with people and
situations that are good for my heart and soul. There are so many lovely
people in the world, so why give any time or energy to the ones who are
small minded or difficult. I want to surround myself with good people who
are on the same path as me - those who are calm and centered, and who bring
joy and light with them into our encounters. I also remind myself of how
healthy I am, how much I love being retired, how well we get on with our
adult children, having my mum living nearby, the blessing of good friends, and just how enjoyable life is overall. Why darken all of
that with small irritations?
SEASONS CHANGE AND SO DO WE
I saw a little quote the other day that said "seasons change and so do we"
and I thought that it said it all. What was right for me previously may not
be right for me now. Situations change, people change, sometimes for the
better and sometimes in ways that don't mesh with what we feel comfortable
with. We can keep pushing through, keep compromising, keep hoping for a
miracle.....or we can embrace change and accept that what was once a good
fit now feels stifling or uncomfortable.
I want to be a person who accepts change and who can let go of what no
longer serves. I like the idea of letting go of what makes my heart heavy
and to stop fighting the inevitable. I want to live with a lightness and joy
that I can only have if I stop dwelling on what I can't have. Sometimes
when we put down the load we're carrying, we find we have space to pick up something new and to enjoy what it
brings into our life. I'm looking forward to seeing what's next for me as I
step into a new chapter.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Is anything weighing you down, or are you in a really good place in life.
Do you have any thoughts on how to move forward to the next chapter with
grace?
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Thank you for this. It is very helpful and relevant.
ReplyDeleteHi - I'm so glad you enjoyed it and found it useful - thanks so much for letting me know. :)
DeleteGood on you Leanne. I totally agree and have been through a similar process and feel so much happier than ever before. I find now I have the space in my life for more positivity and joy and I feel so much more at ease and confident...only wish I had discovered this years ago. I guess maybe I had to grow some more to be ready for the recent changes in my mindset.
ReplyDeleteI think we all find that we mellow with time and we also get stronger in knowing what is right for us and what we don't need to carry as our responsibility. For so long I wanted everyone to like me and for everything I was in to feel like a good fit. Now (like you) I'm figuring out what's positive and holding onto that, while letting the harder stuff go its own way - it's so much lighter to live like that.
DeleteHey, I think I can comment, now. We'll see. I think I'm in a really good place now. I think you are right. In some cases we just have to accept things just the way they are, and go on with our lives. Thank you for always being there, dear friend. Xx
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - yay! your comments are working again! And yes, we've both had our journeys to navigate - and wouldn't it be nice if they were easily resolved and tied off with a pretty bow? Unfortunately we can't fix everything and everyone, we just get better at protecting our hearts and living with integrity. x
DeleteHi Leanne. Thank you for this. I'm about to enter a new phase in my life - going back to University at 55- and it's hard to just move forward and let it unfold and not be tied up in all the what ifs and overthinking everything. Just to embrace the possibility in each day.
ReplyDeleteWow Rebecca that is SO brave! I can imagine a tug of war between excitement and fear of the unknown. I hope excitement wins and that you thrive in this new phase - I'll be cheering for you from the sidelines!
DeleteOH I definitely tend to overthink things and I do find that mental energy waste exhausting but even as I say I'm setting it aside... those thoughts tend to creep back in and before I even realize it I'm back to cycling through it all again!
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - I still overthink - I find myself ruminating or playing those imaginary conversations over in my head - I guess it's a common human condition...but I'm also pulling myself up whenever I notice it and deliberately turning my thoughts to other things - I figure it's a matter of training and redirection to keep that cycling down.
DeleteOverthinking is so hard Leanne! Getting out of the habit of looking at the ins and outs, what-ifs, and often catastrophising things doesn't help at all!! But I'm trying hard not to do it. Wishing you well on feeling lighter and living life your way x
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - it's such a pain isn't it? We know it's a time waster and achieves nothing, and yet our brains do the churn churn churn thing. I truly believe that recognizing when it happens and deliberately moving our thinking elsewhere is the only way to gradually get on top of it. I think I mix it up with wishful thinking - which is also fairly pointless...
DeleteLeanne, this hit home for me so much. I am an over thinker and I feel that since I have retired a few years ago that I am becoming more negative about everything and that includes myself. Thank you again for this post. I enjoy reading everything that you post.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your lovely comment and I know how easy it is to spiral into negativity if you don't consciously choose to do otherwise. I've also seen the end result of a life of negativity and it doesn't look good. I constantly remind myself about the legacy I want to leave and who I'm forming into as I age - I REALLY don't want to be the cantakerous old woman that everyone avoids, so I choose to find the good and the happy in life as often as possible - building positive neural pathways so it gets easier to find the blessings over the disappointments. I hope you do too. :)
DeleteHow did you know I have been wrestling with the same problem? And you give me the words to say and help me remove the heaviness, "Sometimes when we put down the load we're carrying, we find we have space to pick up something new and to enjoy what it brings into our life.".
ReplyDeleteJudith I'm so glad I could give you a bit of a boost and some encouragement. Sometimes it feels like we're carrying a load and it's never ending....but I'm finding that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and often the load we're carrying can be put down if we make the tough choices to move forward, and once we do it really does feel like a lightening of spirit. I hope you load gets lighter this week. x
DeleteSo good!! Thank you for the reminder!!! I am such a people pleaser that so often I would spend my time worrying about what others thought, how to keep the peace, etc..I've been learning how to still walk in love and honor for people, but not at the expense of my peace, and who I am. I'm learning to set boundaries
ReplyDeleteHi Kirstin - yes! to everything you just wrote - being kind, being honourable, but also being true to yourself and living peacefully. I'm just tired of catering to people who are rude or thoughtless - they don't care, so I'm learning to care less these days and focus on people who want to reciprocate or who don't have an agenda of their own.
DeleteHi, Leanne - I love how you have stayed focussed on your WOTY and how it has been guiding you. I totally agree that surrounding ourselves with positive people, and people who have our backs, makes a huge, huge difference.
ReplyDeleteHi Donna - positive, proactive people like yourself just inspire me to keep pushing my way through to living without all the juggling that's entailed with dealing with difficult personalities. I figure anyone over 50 has no excuse to be anything other than kind and thoughtful - if they choose otherwise then they're not "my people" - and I'm okay with that these days. :)
DeleteGrand over-thinker here. From a long line of over-thinkers. It is genetic!! Proud to say that in the last few weeks, though, I have been sleeping all night - when I am not hobbling to the bathroom - and haven't lost any sleep overthinking anything! Maybe I am just that tired.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie - I think that sleeping all night is every Midlifer's dream - and to do it with a broken foot adds even more kudos for the achievement. I think sleeping beats overthinking any day - so high fives all round!
DeleteHi Leanne - I can relate to your reflections on letting go of overthinking, focusing on positives, and embracing change. Your commitment to living lightly and surrounding yourself with joy and positivity is a powerful reminder to prioritise our own well-being. I liked the quote 'seasons change and so do we'. So true!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the seasons quote too Pradeep - it reminds me that "this too shall pass" - and that we're never stuck in something forever, we just need to find a way through it and things get brighter again.
DeleteI hear you. In September, I planned to do a lot of decluttering, only to realize that I needed to start with the emotional and mental stuff first! Being open to learning and change is something I'm doing and blessed to be constantly inspired by your journey as well.
ReplyDeleteHi Corinne - I think our 50's and 60's are our mental and emotional decluttering eras. We finally have time to figure out if something is authentically what we believe and value, or whether it's just something we're carrying around as excess baggage. As our internal clutter clears, the external tends to get sorted out as well. I'm loving this stage of life and finally feeling like I've found "me" - and I can see you walking a similar path. :)
DeleteOverthinking…me? Oh yes and honestly it is so not helpful. But it’s been a lifelong thing so recognising it’s not helpful is good. I also have been learning the old old adage, I can only control….ME & my reactions/Responses to anything…so yep, Reminders galore in your post too. Denyse
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I think we could both join Overthinkers Anonymous :D Like you, I now try to pull myself up when I notice my mind doing a hamster wheel over something - I tend to do it when I'm walking in the mornings - one thought leads to another and another and I'm re-living it all over again. I'm trying to be more conscious of it and proactively changing my narrative or cutting it off. I'm getting better at it and it feels more settled inside my brain!
Delete