Wednesday, 24 February 2016

what would I change if I could?

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

I think we all expect to live to a ripe old age - the older we get, the older that "ripe old age" seems to be! But I was thinking the other day about what regrets or wishes I'd have if life was to end much sooner than than I expected.

People have all sorts of theories about how or why their life might end abruptly. There is the plane crash, the cosmic meteor collision, the terminal illness, the second coming of Jesus, a terrorist attack, getting hit by a bus, and the list goes on. Most of these are unlikely to happen, but if one of them befell me and I had time to think before my untimely end, is there anything I would wish I'd had more time for, or that I'd done better?

As that bus bears down on me will I be thinking about the fact that I haven't visited my dad at the care facility he's in for quite a while. Would the fact that he doesn't recognize me make it alright that I haven't been, or would I wish I'd gone there one last time?

As the plane stalls and begins its inevitable descent, will I regret that I hadn't taken to the skies more often over the  years (before this particular flight) and done more travelling. Or played it safer and gone on the cruise of a lifetime (hopefully without a Titanic ending)? Would all the places I'd meant to travel to flash before my eyes like a technicolour travelog? 

When the last trumpet sounds will I be wishing I'd monetized my blog and poured more time into it so that I could reach the million page view mark? Would I be asking for a bit more time to finish that last post that I'd been mulling over in the back of my mind?

Or as I lie breathing my last few breaths, will I be thinking about all times I should have told the people that are special to me that I love them? Will I be thinking of the times I could have put myself out more to visit, or to help, or to make that casserole for someone? Will I wonder if I invested enough of myself in others? Did I leave any kind of legacy?

I guess the real fact of the matter is, we dont know what tomorrow is going to bring and the only thing we really have is right now. So, dont stay angry for too long and learn to forgive. Love your friends and family with all your heart. Have fun and live your life the way you want to live it. Most of all, dont worry about people that dont like you and enjoy the ones who do.

The interesting thing for me is that only one of these questions really holds sway in my life - and that is am I leaving a legacy of love? Am I investing in my family and friends? Work and travel and blogging and having money and all the other luxuries of life are lovely, but it always comes down to relationships for me. So I will be remembering to say what is on my heart more often so that when my time comes (whether it's sooner or later) I'll be able to smile and know that there's nothing I would change.



27 comments:

  1. Ooh what a deep post. Yea we definitely don't want to be leaving the world with regrets, but instead want to leave behind some wonderful legacy. But I don't know how many people can truly say they do.

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    1. I know Julie - a legacy is a very special thing to leave - I think I'd be happy if people just smiled when they thought about me occasionally!

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  2. You are so aware I am these days mentally. And I know I always leave this same remark on your post but it strikes me every time. Now I must know: will you be BAM??

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    1. No Carla, I'm in Australia and my budget doesn't stretch to conferences (especially ones overseas!) I envy all those who get to go - I think a lot of us are at the same stage of figuring out life and it would be great to chat with you all!

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  3. Ahhhh autocorrect as it whisked away :-) you are so where I am… Not aware :-)

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  4. My childhood best friend was diagnosed with a cancer we knew from the start had a low survival rate. Despite the fact that it was caught early, she died in September, almost four years after her diagnosis. During those years I thought, a lot, about what I might have done differently. Leaving a legacy of love is an excellent answer. I am going to include this post in my weekly blog roundup on Sunday so others can think about leaving a legacy of love, too. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much Alana - I'll pop over and have a read of the others on Sunday! I think we all have a little corner of our mind where we wonder what we would leave behind when we die. I really hope it's something positive and full of love (I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but so glad she had those 4 years to share with you x)

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  5. To leave a legacy of love - that is my goal. Such a beautifully written post, Leanne, and lovely way to remind me to focus on the important things as I start my day today.

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    1. Thanks Wendy - I think if everyone aimed to leave a legacy of love the world would be a much nicer place :)

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  6. Having suffered a tragic loss late last year, this has become my world view too. There's never enough time. Live life fully. Tell people you love them. Spread a little hope in the world. xo

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    1. That is so true Tamara - we never know when it will be the last time we're with someone - how wonderful to have lived and loved and know that you spread some hope :)

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  7. I try to live this every day, Leanne. Living so close to NYC on 9/11 and all that entailed it changed me forever. I say I love you more often. Hug almost everyone I meet. And tell people how important they are. So let me say here and now that I appreciate your words, I'm glad I met you online and I cherish your spirit!

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    1. Thanks SO much Cathy - I love it when I meet like minded people through this blogging adventure. I think 911 impacted us all but especially those who were close to it and it would definitely change your view of the world and how short life is!

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  8. Definitely fall on the side of relationships. Even as I read this, I was thinking about calling my uncle again.

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    1. I hope you did call him Anne and that the conversation warmed both your hearts x

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  9. Great post! It made me thing about so many things!

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    1. thanks so much Mira - I'm happy if it made your day more positive :)

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  10. I lost a childhood friend my age 2 days before her 35yo.
    It changed my life. It felt real and close.
    Life is too short even if we live hundred years.
    Focus on what really matters and what money can't buy is the answer.

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    1. that is such a good definer Debbie "what money can't buy" because it's about people and not "our stuff" every time isn't it? I'm so sorry about your friend, 35 is way too young. x

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  11. Fascinating thoughts. I live my life every day as if it could be the last, not in a reckless sense, but to be sure that I will not have regrets. That means living with integrity, embracing a certain level of vulnerability, and being compassionate to myself and others.

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    1. Julie, that was beautifully put - I love it when someone has reached the stage I'm aiming for and can share that it is a good place to be!

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  12. Right on, Leanne! The only regrets that I believe we truly have in the end relate to how we treated other people. Beautiful post.

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    1. It's always about relationships in the end isn't Regina - people trump "stuff" every time!

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  13. It's absolutely important to spend time with your loved ones and tell them that they are important to you. All the other stuff can wait. It's time spent that you won't regret.

    Sally @ Life Loving
    #LifeLovingLinkie

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    1. Exactly Sally - I don't think time spent with the people we love is ever wasted or regretted.

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  14. Leanne, I love your thoughts on this matter and in the end we are in total agreement. I have been closer to the pearly gates then I would like, a few times, and all I could think of was my loved ones. Money, time, fame, traveling... None of these were in my movie flashback as I was in my last moments, which thankfully ended up not being my last. Although there are days I would like to be laying on a mattress stuffed with cash, I am thankful to have a home filled with love. That brings me much more comfort then a lumpy, money filled cushion.

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    1. I think money and an easy life will always seem like the ultimate, but we know deep inside our souls that our family and friends outweigh everything else when it comes to the bottom line Nikki :)

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