I GET TO DECIDE WHO I AM

I get to decide who I am - no correspondence will be entered into

MIDLIFE CHANGES

On Monday I wrote about Midlife and having the courage to accept the changes that come with it, because those changes are what lead us to creating our legacy. I mentioned in there that a lot of Midlifers are still learning how to own their values and identity because they've pushed those things aside and put themselves second.

THE NEXT GENERATIONS

It seemed to me that the generations who have come after us are much better at taking ownership of their beliefs and don't tend to be as bothered by the opinions of others. They step out in confidence and are quite happy stepping over anyone who raises any doubts about who they are or what they are entitled to in this life.

I think it's amazing that we have had a hand in developing these younger people and in nurturing their self-confidence, and maybe we need to take a leaf out of their book and start being prepared to own who we decide we are and the person we want to be. The younger generation can be quite wise at times, and this quote from the lovely Emma Watson (of Harry Potter and Beauty and the Beast fame) is so relevant to how we should be living our lives.


being true to myself and not to other people's ideas of who I should be

I'M ACCOUNTABLE TO ME

Finally, after 50+ years, I'm learning to stop letting other people direct my life - to know that I don't have to answer to my parents, my peers, my husband, my children, my co-workers, or anybody else for that matter. The one and only person who really gets to decide who I am is little old (well not too old!) me - and no correspondence will be entered into.

Knowing who I am and I what I want out of life has come a little later for me than it has for Emma, but it's not too late and I intend to take full ownership of my journey and the type of person I am and the legacy I want to leave, and I'm happy to take my inspiration wherever I find it - thanks Emma!

I get to decide who I am - no correspondence will be entered into
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29 comments

  1. It is never too late Leanne. I've seen you grow stronger even in the short time I've known you xx

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    1. Thanks Sue - I'm amazed at how far I've come in the last few years - and in a really positive way (I think blogging and my blogging buddies really helped with that!) xx

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  2. It took me some time to feel confident enough to express who I was. But once I gained that confidence, I haven't looked back.

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    1. Midlife confidence should be bottled Jennifer - those without it are missing out on so much - I think I get more confident every year past 50!

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  3. Too bad we don't learn this a lot sooner, but better late than never. Does that mean Emma's got it figured out already? Love her!

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    1. I love her too Shari - and I think the younger generations seem to have an innate confidence that we've had to learn later in life. Maybe we helped instil it in them - I'd like to hope so!

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  4. Yes, Leanne I agree. It should be bottled. :-) I am definitely more confident today than I was 20 years ago. I think I grow more confident each year that passes. Let's hope it continues the upward trend! Lost on a road trip. #Share Your World

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    1. My confidence has certainly increased since I hit 50 Shirley - I love this age and I just wish I'd started sooner. When I see other women my age still struggling to find their place in the world I want to put my arm around them and tell them what they're missing out on - and to get up and do something about it before it's too late!

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  5. You are so right! It's freeing when you take ownership of who you are and what your life should be - without entering into "correspondence." I have many women friends who haven't yet accepted this fact. Thank you for sharing this - it's an inspiration to all of us midlife women.

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    1. I know what you mean Melody - when you discover the ability to take responsibility for your own happiness and growth, you wonder why you didn't start earlier. I see other women who haven't cottoned on yet and it's such a shame because they are missing out on so much joy and self confidence - sometimes it comes at a cost, but ultimately we're worth it aren't we?

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  6. I have been so envious of this next generation who seem to have themselves so figured out. Waaay earlier than I ever did!
    But I'm comfortable and happy now with who I am. Better late than not at all! :)

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    1. I totally agree Diane - it may have taken us a bit longer to get our act together, but now we're rocking it with the best of them. I'd like to hope that it was our nurturing of the younger generation that has given them the confidence they exude today :)

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  7. This is another very inspiring post, Leanne. It is never too late to take charge of who you are. Thank you also for your recent guest post on my site. It was very well received...the comments are still coming in!

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    1. Thanks for asking me to be a guest Donna - I've been hammering away this morning replying to the comments that arrived while I've been at work for the last few days. You certainly have a loyal following - and I love that you've kept up with it all while you've been having a break.

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  8. Oh how I can relate to what you say here Leanne! Good on Emma Watson and other young people who know what I am only just learning. The best thing about my 50's is the time I have to self reflect and learn who I am and what I want and need. I was one of those who did what others expected of me and who put myself last always. In doing that over the many decades, I lost myself and any knowledge of who I was. This time in my life is very special as I take steps to reclaim myself and my knowledge of myself. :-) #TeamLovinLife

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    1. I know exactly what you mean Min - I don't think we consciously thought we were putting ourselves last, but when we look back it certainly seems that way to me. It's taken a long time for me to realize that it's not being selfish to take the time to reclaim myself and to enjoy life in my own right now that I have more time.

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  9. Yay! I'm with you. I'm trying really hard to stop thinking about what others think of me and starting to live life on my own terms. It's slowly sinking in and I'm becoming more my own person. It's hard changing beliefs that have been hammered into you from a young age, but certainly not impossible! :) #TeamLovinLife

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    1. You are so right Kathy - it's such an intrinsic part of who we are to want to not rock the boat, but now I'm finding that the people I care about are happy to accept the "me" I'm becoming and the others can move aside or move on because I can't go back to the old me and wouldn't want to!

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  10. How bad is it that it takes us until now to work that out now? Rather than thinking of the years I've wasted, I'm thinking of the fun ahead being as disruptively me as it's possible to be. #TeamLovinLife

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    1. I completely agree Jo - you can't change history and it wasn't bad, but there was so much we didn't claim for ourselves and you're right - it's not too late and there's still plenty of time to enjoy what lies ahead.

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  11. Well done on your growing confidence and believing in yourself Leanne. I watched a lot of women in my Mum's generation become "invisible" as they aged, but I certainly hope our generation don't do this. There's no reason why we can't be exactly who we want to be! #TeamLovinLife

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    1. I think we're doing so much better than the generations who came before us Lyndall - at least we woke up in time to enjoy our second half of life (and our kids have done it even sooner so they have a big head start)

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  12. Great post. Well done!
    Love Emma's quote :)
    #teamlovinlife

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    1. Thanks Leanne - her generation certainly got the idea a lot quicker than ours did - but it's never too late to jump on the millenial bandwagon :)

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  13. Hi Leanne I've previously commented but love the post and your quote. Thanks so much for sharing your post with us at #BloggersPitStop. I have shared on social media. Have a great week and see you at next week’s link up! Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty & Beyond
    http://www.sizzlingtowardssixty.com.au

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    1. Thanks for sharing Sue - and for popping back for a second visit - much appreciated!

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  14. Love that quote from Emma Watson,

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  15. I had this exact conversation with someone today Leanne - the fact that my (our) generation grew up quite differently (less empowered etc) than current generations. I wonder if things will actually change again and cycles will continue? #teamlovinlife

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  16. This is such an interesting post. The most surprising thing about adulthood, for me at least, is that there isn't a moment when you magically feel totally confident and like everything is right. I think when you're younger there's a misconception that there's a moment out there when everything makes sense, when it's all a constant learning process. I wish I had known that sooner so I could stop caring what other people thought in my youth!

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