I saw this quote from Great Expectations and it struck a chord with me because it reflects the stage of life that I feel myself in. Maybe midlife is "one of those March days"......I think what I notice most about being at this point in my life is that I'm still not as settled and staid as I thought I'd be. Some days I'm all content and happy with my world and other days I'm impatient with my increasing number of health niggles, or my finances, or my children, or my husband,or any number of other little things. Life is not all Summer bliss and it's not all Winter doldrums - it is a day in March where there is a little of both - depending on where I'm standing at any given time.
On my happy Summer days when the sun shines hot, I look at my home and my life and I think how blessed I am to be in a stable marriage with my children married off and happy. I love the house we live in and the neighbourhood - and the fact that I seem to know more and more of the people in my street and it's all good. I love that I have a great husband, wonderful friends and a busy life. I appreciate getting out of bed in the morning (even more on the weekend after a sleep-in) and not being burdened with aches and pains. I love the freedom we have with only the two of us to take into consideration - no kids' schedules or ageing parents that are too time consuming (yet).
But then, on my Winter days when the wind blows cold, I start looking at our finances and wondering about having enough to retire on, I worry about how long my job will last for (or how long I'll be able to put up with the people I work with!) I let the small irritations of life bug me and get me down. The headaches or the dodgy hip or the nagging cough slow me up. I am fighting this Winter season because I don't want to become negative and bogged down in the would haves and should haves. I want to enjoy the light and the Summer sunshine and not be a grumpy old lady.
March in Australia is Autumn and that's what I feel this stage of life is. There is a lot of beauty still to enjoy - sometimes you have to take the time to look past the cold winds that sneak up on you, you need to throw on a cardigan and get out and feel the sunshine on your face and be glad to be alive. It's about acknowledging Winter's approach, but making the most of the season you are in.