Tuesday, 28 July 2015

there are no perfect parents (or children)

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

My daughter sent me this quote the other day and my first response was - I should Pin that. My second response was......wait a minute - I should blog about that!

Less than perfect parenting:
As every other parent in the world can attest, there are a lot of moments in raising your children that you wouldn't mind having a do-over button for. I had been thinking back about times when I got really cross or frustrated when my kids were little and would not have won any "warm, fuzzy mother of the year" awards. There were also plenty of instances that the kids remember where I apparently failed motherhood and I thought I was doing okay!

Erin (our daughter) tells me about the time she gashed her leg on a stick and her cousins bandaged her up because her Aunty and I had told them not to bother us while we were having our coffee and chat! Obviously we weren't very clear on what "bothering" covered in that instance. The scar on her leg is there to attest to that little "fail" moment. Our son tells the story about how I 'made' him ride his bicycle to the bus stop (to catch the school bus) when he was quite young. I remember it as him begging to ride his bike and me worrying about him getting there safely - history gets warped a little depending on who is remembering!

Less than perfect children:
Our two children were actually pretty good through their childhood and into their teens (despite the less than perfect parenting they experienced at times). There were times though where I could easily have locked them in their bedrooms for a day or two for some peace of mind. The teen years certainly brought a few of those moments to the fore and took a few years off my life in the process.

Our son, who is very sensible and ordered and reliable normally, turned into a hoon driver when he got his licence. He worked at a chicken processing plant in his spare time to save money to buy his first car - a red (of course) Holden Commodore (vehicle of choice for all rev-heads and a nightmare for their parents). The countless times I lay in bed listening for police sirens and the lectures we gave him all seem like water under the bridge now - but at the time we truly despaired.
#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au
The car of his parents' nightmares
Our daughter gave us a few rebellious moments here and there too - fortunately not with her car choice - she went for a little cute car with pink wheel hubs called "Muffin" but teaching her to drive wasn't always fun - she would insist she knew what she was doing and was not great at taking advice - case in point was the first time she tried parking in our garage without me in the passenger seat (see below for the result!) I made her stand there for photographic proof at the time (less than perfect parenting I suppose!)
#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au
this pic is titled "whoops" in my photo album!
Many perfect memories along the way:
I can't even begin to count the multitude of happy memories we have of our children and their growing up through childhood to being the terrific adults they are today. How do you condense all the little times when you laughed and shared moments that are remembered forever? One of the great things that time does, is dilute the not-so-perfect moments and it allows us to remember the good times. I'm really proud of how well our "kids" turned out - seeing my husband and I had no idea what we were doing most of the time, I think we must have gotten it right more times than we messed up. The fact that Erin sent me the quote at the top of the post is probably a sign that she has some pretty perfect memories too. (I think having those two kittens was one of them!) I thought I'd finish with a pic from our son's graduation (neither of our children went to their university graduations so I only have a picture from when Jared got his doctorate and submitted to the graduation process a couple of years ago - being married and having a wife who insisted on it probably helped!)
#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au
Quite a contrast to the 17yr old with the red car!
This post was featured on Midlife Boulevard

14 comments:

  1. Aww, a sweet post that made me laugh. Failed motherhood, too funny, it happens!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Haralee - I think we all have those 'fail' moments :)

      Delete
  2. Love this, Leanne! Love that quote! My youngest son insists that I made him shave his head for years. I remember begging him to let his beautiful hair grow. Just a little. How differently we remember things. The fact that they are all progressing, contributing adults now, I credit to my Husby! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's funny Diane - they all interpret history differently :) I'm not giving all the credit to my husband - I think I deserve a bit after all the ups and downs!

      Delete
  3. What a wonderful post! I love the smile on your daughter's face, as she stood beside the poorly marked car. An example of a good parenting moment, I would think!
    I have been working on an article with a similar title (I didn't know it was a quote!) Quite different from this, and not sure when I will publish it - but it is so true that none of us are perfect!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Susan - I smile every time I see that photo of Erin's car - we had to wait for my husband to get home to get it unstuck - I was worried I'd pull the garage down if I tried! I do hope you publish your post because I always enjoy hearing other people's family stories :)

      Delete
  4. I loved reading about you being a mum and your family! And those pictures - especially the one with the kittens and your daughter's mishap are great! Listening to your stories made me feel as though we all kind of struggle to do our best, and obviously don't always succeed at parenting. They surely make me feel normal. It's funny how we both came to the subject of family and parenting (although your post is way more enjoyable). You and your daughter look so beautiful, and your son is sooooo big! It seems like you must have done some things right, your kids turned out really great! Congratulations! I wonder what your son did the doctorate in? Love xx Abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Abby - I think we all have our great and not-so-great parenting moments. The fact our kids are decent human beings is a bonus! He did his doctorate in Engineering - it's funny having a doctor in the family that can't prescribe me anything. Just reading his thesis took me the best part of a fortnight!

      Delete
  5. [ Smiles ] In reality, no one is perfect; the important aspect of it all is, the memories that we create in the minds about those we love.

    Lovely post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly Renard - all memories don't have to be fabulous either - the good just needs to outweigh the bad (hopefully by a large margin!)

      Delete
  6. I think we all feel the same as you Leanne as parents. My children could tell some stories about my motherhood skills and I could tell some stories about them. In the end it is all about loving each other. Thanks for sharing your memories with us at #WednesdaysWisdom and see you next week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My pleasure Sue - I think it's great that we are all the same and the "fails" make for good family stories!

      Delete
  7. We all have our mothering fails, but the good should always outweigh the bad. It's hard not to see the small children when you look at those adults now! I'm catching up today I've been taking some much needed time to myself this month! I"ll be back at it on Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh so true , and none of us were ever given a manual. The perfect person I have yet to meet! Thanks for sharing on #wednesdayswisdom

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...