over-thinking vs lightening up a little

Over-thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is.

Over-thinking has been the bane of my generation. I'm don't think I'm the only midlife woman who has spent way too many years thinking every situation to death and back again. I'm sure I'm not alone in doing the whole "worse case scenario" projection - especially when it came to teenage children and their various escapades!

I'm slowly working my way out of the pit of worrying and thinking about stuff too much. I'm putting a lot of the "what if" questions in the bin and leaving them there. No matter how much you worry, it changes nothing and it just seems to complicate things - often far more than they needed to be.

Midlife is teaching me lots of lessons - one of those is that I can't control everything (even though I REALLY want to!) Letting go of that need to have all my ducks in a row means that I can let things naturally evolve without the hours of planning, over-planning, thinking and over-thinking that used to go with it all.

I've noticed that the younger generations are much more casual in their approach to life. They tend to go with the flow more and leave their plans to the last moment - who knows they might get a better offer and they wouldn't want to have to turn that down! There's no point asking them what they're doing next weekend, or when they'll arrive if they're coming for a visit. They don't know and it doesn't bother them, they'll let you know when it's closer to the time.

keeping life simple is the secret - over-thinking just over complicates things - worry solves nothing

This type of approach used to drive me crazy, now I relax more and I'm not fighting it. Trying to run everything to a timetable can be exhausting - rounding up those ducks all the time gets very wearing. Trying to work out what somebody is thinking or what they feel is pretty much a waste of time - they'll tell me when they're ready. Usually whatever I thought was a problem or my fault, had nothing to do with me and I wasted all that emotion for no reason. 

My aim for midlife is to relax more, to chill out a little and let things take their course. I like it when everything goes to plan (my plan!) but getting churned up when things don't, and trying to find all the reasons why, is just not worth the bother. I'll never be one of those super casual, laid back, carefree bohemian women (although I'd love to be!) but I don't have to be an uptight, worried, stressed, cranky middle aged woman either. I'm aiming for somewhere in between - lightening up a bit keeps you young.

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