BEING THE MOTHER OF AN ADULT DAUGHTER
It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow - and I often can't believe how much time has passed since she made her entrance into the world....and made her presence known in every possible way from that day forward! I've refrained from the embarrassing baby and child photos and thought I'd focus on the joy of having a grown-up daughter instead.I'm not sure what it is about the bond between mothers and their adult daughters, but there is definitely something special in the relationship that we have. For me, it's not about being best friends or co-dependents, it's completely different to that. The mother/daughter bond is on a different level - especially now that she is an adult and the relationship has morphed from adult-child to adult-adult.
 |
| with the grandkitten - no babies yet.... |
A SHARED HERITAGE
It's lovely having someone who is on the same wavelength as me. We get each other's sense of humour (the poor child probably inherited it from me) and we understand how we navigate life. There is a shared history for the last 30+ years. We can support each other now - it used to always be me supporting her, but now she can offer support and a viewpoint in situations that I find really helpful. It's nice to know I can trust her judgement because she has grown into such a level headed young woman. Her confidence and insightfulness often have me a little gobsmacked.OHHH AND THOSE TEENAGE DAYS...
Sometimes it makes me smile to hear wise words spring from the lips of a person who not that long ago (or so it seems) was doing silly things and dating inappropriate boys. We can laugh at the choices she made in her teenage days and I can quietly breathe a sigh of relief that she moved on from them - hopefully a little wiser for the experience. I'm also relieved that those silly choices were minor in the grand scheme of things and we never had to agonize over some of the issues other parents had to deal with. Both our children were fairly drama free to parent and for that I'm am exceedingly grateful! |
| back in those teenage years |
I remember discussing what type of profession she'd like to pursue - and how none of my suggestions sounded like "fun". She was undaunted by the fact that there isn't much of a calling for dog trainers with the local circus - although she thought it would be great to work with jack russells in tutus!
It all came down to letting her take some time, trying a few different jobs, and finally she settled on teaching - which she'd been told she'd be good at since Primary School! But, she needed to find that out for herself and discover where her "calling" was. Completely different to her brother who knew what he was going to do from mid high school onwards.
AND INTO THE FUTURE
So, I'd like to wish my 'baby' a happy birthday and I am celebrating the fact that we created and parented such an amazing human being - now I just need to talk her into creating a few of her own.....how much fun will those grandbabies be?! |
| On her wedding day |
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I totally agree. I have two adult daughters who are my best friends.
ReplyDeletethere's nothing like a mother/daughter relationship is there Suzi? :)
DeleteI pray this is me and mine someday.
ReplyDeleteWe are just entering the turbulent phase here :-) and I'm bracing for the worst but praying for the best.
It will be you one day Carla - guaranteed - you already have a great relationship and I'm sure you'll ride out the turbulence and come out even better x
DeleteIt must be awesome to see the fruits of your labors. And motherhood has to be the most beautiful bond of all.
ReplyDeleteCarol
http://carolcassara.com/new-look/
It's a blessing indeed Carol and makes all those years of being a "mean mum" worthwhile when you see that your children have turned into great human beings :)
Deletei'm excited to get there....i'm close...and feeling the change in relationship from child to adult. so far...loving it!
ReplyDeleteIt just gets better and better Lisa - you'll love it even more as the years go by x
DeleteI can only add to your lovely celebration of you and your daughter's friendship that it keeps getting better--the relationship of mother and daughter as we and they age. We are selling our house--the one we've owned since our children were four and five years old respectively. It's been highly emotional for my husband and I. Though our children live airplane rides away, both son and daughter have been supportive. Our son has focused on the wonderful future that lies ahead for us when we live in a more urban setting. But it's my daughter who has keyed in on the emotional issues and been there to cry together over the many losses. It's quite comforting.
ReplyDeleteI love that they become our support after all the years of us being their's. It be so hard to leave all those memories behind - but a new home after all these years will be wonderful too x
DeleteAren't daughters the best thing ever? My daughter is 26 and her adult self is so amazing. I'm so proud, and the bond is indescribable!
ReplyDeleteIt is really special isn't it Nancy? I love the closeness and the connection.
DeleteI have two grown daughters and relish our "adult" relationship. It just keeps getting better now they are young moms. Enjoying the journey together.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait until it's grandbaby time and I can see how my daughter-in law and my daughter handle being mums - they'll both be great (much better than I was!)
DeleteWhat a lovely photo of you both at your daughter's wedding. I have a daughter and we have a very special bond especially now that she is a mother. It is wonderful for us to be able to share things and I have seen her grow into a beautiful, independant woman. You and I seem to be very lucky Leanne. #midlifemegaphone
ReplyDeleteWe are really lucky Sue - to have children that you are proud of is such a blessing (and such a relief!)
DeleteCongratulations on Celebrating Your Precious Daughter's 27th Birthday!
ReplyDeleteWhat Beautiful Women You Both Are...And Wishing You Both Many More
Years Of Celebrating Your Special Days Together!
What a lovely thing to say Amy, thank you so much and I hope we have many more birthdays to celebrate together too :)
DeleteOh my son is 28 so I soooo get what you are talking about! He is my friend and somedays my guide and mentor. I understand how treasured that relationship can be!! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteIt's like they become their true selves once they settle into adulthood Ruth, all that time and effort we invested in them comes out and they build on it and just get better all the time!
DeleteNot having a daughter I can't comment on that specific relationship but I do have grown sons. I would agree that it is a special relationship. They are all grown up and yet they aren't. They can offer me a mature perspective on an issue and the next minute throw plastic Easter eggs at me from across the table.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to your daughter and to her mom.
The Easter eggs made me smile - our "children" came home for Easter and the first thing they looked for in the fridge were the Easter eggs - adulthood takes a step back when chocolate is involved!
DeleteMy daughter is 13 and I am looking forward to these days too. There is a special mother and adult daughter bond that I so hope we can share!
ReplyDeleteOnce you make your way through the teenage tangle (and hopefully arrive at the other end fairly unscathed) you'll be writing this post too Rosie x
DeleteTotally get it. I have 2 adult daughters - the youngest is 27. They are my biggest cheerleaders!
ReplyDeleteThey are our cheerleaders aren't they? I love that they see our potential and help us to step up into being more than just their mums :)
DeleteHappy birthday to your daughter! My 23 year old daughter and I are going on a Viking Ocean Cruise in a few weeks and I'm so excited to just spend a couple of weeks with her. I've also traveled with my 25 year old son, and just love spending this quality time with my grown kids!
ReplyDeleteI saw that you were cruising with her on your post Lois - I'm very jealous (and my daughter would be too!) I hope you have a fantastic time away together - you can't help but have fun in that situation :)
DeleteWhat a sweet and lovely post. My darling girl is just 16 and still a darling. I keep waiting for the troublesome teen years. We haven't seen them yet..fingers crossed! Happy Birthday to your girl. Mimi xxx
ReplyDeleteWe never had any big issues with our kids in their teens Mimi so you might cruise through as well. There's usually a hiccup here or there but I was so relieved to survive ours relatively unscathed :)
DeleteYou and your daughter remind me of me and my mum. We like to go shopping together and she also has a furry grandchild hehe. Happy birthday to your daughter - we're almost birthday buddies! :)
ReplyDelete#lifelovinglinkie
www.quirkylittleplanet.com
that's lovely - it's nice to hear from the other side of the relationship that you enjoy the connection with your mum as much as we enjoy it with our daughters!
DeleteYou've got some lovely photos there Leanne - it's very clear to everyone that your bond is really special. I love my mum to bits, she means the world to me. There's nothing better than a mum - daughter bond is there?
ReplyDeleteSally @ Life Loving
#LifeLovingLinkie
I love that last picture! You are just radiating happiness. My daughter and I have that same kind of relationship and I love it. She's raising twins and me with my mother we support each other. It's nice.
ReplyDeleteAww... I have 2 adult daughters and love the relationships I have with both. And my "baby" is 27 too!
ReplyDelete