Wednesday, 2 March 2016

what makes a "real" woman?

She needs to tell no lies; her honesty is her beauty. She’s smart in the head, and courageous in the heart, confident in herself, and compassionate in her thoughts, independent and able, strong and graceful. ~Author Unknown

Social media bombards us with images of "real women" - from reality stars, to movie stars, to models, to politicians, to news anchors, and the list goes on and on. But is that really who a "real" woman is? Most of the time these women have been groomed to fit a reality that is not what I see as "real" or even desirable. Who wants to live on lettuce leaves until they die, or constantly be camera ready in case someone takes your photo?

A "real woman" to me, is a woman who is confident in herself, who knows her own mind but is still open to others. Happy to listen to other people's views but strong enough in her beliefs to know what to take on board and what to let go. Someone who is smart, and maybe a little bit sassy, but also genuine in what she says and does.

I see independence and autonomy as strengths, women who are able to stand on their own two feet, support themselves if the need arises, and still have enough left over to share with those they love. Being overly dependent on someone else leads to a need to be propped up - strong women can stand alone if they need to.

A real woman hasn't always had an easy life, she has weathered storms and trials, ups and downs, tough times and sad times, good times and bad times. She has had her rough edges knocked off, but not lost her sense of humour in the process. She has learned gratitude and grace through all that life has sent her way.

 A real woman manifests Gratitude  and Grace

A "real" woman has nothing to prove, she is knows her own mind and she knows her own values. Compassion for others colours her view of the world, but she isn't a push over. She is fiercely loyal to those she knows and loves and would lay down her life for her family. 

I plan on becoming more "real" every day and surrounding myself with other women who are honest and authentic. These women will all be different because they are true to themselves and to what they hold dear, but we will share a commonality of purpose and a desire to be the best possible examples of what this stage of life can be. I'm hoping to add more and more women to this circle because we enhance each other and as we share our stories we grow deeper and more gracious.


24 comments:

  1. Let's hear it for Real Women! I love this post, Leanne, and appreciate the focus on the real things that make us real women and not all of this superficial crud. Thank you!

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    1. thanks so much Regina - I'm over it too - so much is surface value today and that's not "real" in my opinion x

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  2. Great post. I was nodding in agreement throughout (aside from the sentence on dependence, but only because I am dependent on someone else these days, but would still class myself a real woman).

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    1. Hi Kimmie - sometimes we need to lean on somebody else - it's when dependency becomes neediness that we have to stop and think.

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  3. *shoots hand in the air emphatically* I definitely do NOT want to live on lettuce leaves for the rest of my life! :D
    This is great, Leanne. Real is definitely knowing yourself and being confident in who that person is.

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    1. I will never have the body I had at 20 Lisa - no matter how many lettuce leaves I stick to, so why not accept the fact and eat healthy (with a bit of cheating now and then!) and focus on what is really important.

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  4. I love how women today are taking things in their own hands & redefining beauty. I can't agree more, Leanne. Confidence in who you are, what you are, how you look. Let's fight back against those media images that are so unrealistic!
    Carol
    http://carolcassara.com/snack-hacks/

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    1. I think we are so much MORE than those media images Carol - I think we need to be proud of how well developed we are as women and not hide our lights from the world :)

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  5. Love this post! I agree, these are the things that make us real women!

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    1. thanks so much Mira - I think it defines true beauty so well!

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  6. I love this post Leanne, and I am sharing it on my social media channels. You have summed up real beauty nicely - and made good points that we should all remember. Thank you for writing this.
    I am finally back to my computer after a rocky start to blogging most of this year, and especially February. I'm hoping to get back into a more productive schedule again - but first I have quite a number of your posts to get caught up on! I probably won't comment on them all- but I'm looking forward to spending some time this morning reading them :)

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    1. thanks so much Susan - it's lovely having you back and I appreciate you sharing my words :) I hope to read lots more of your stuff in the weeks ahead - glad you're back on deck!

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  7. This is a great post on a subject that needs to be discussed more often.The superficial world we are constantly bombarded with threatens to challenge our confidence in what is real and important.

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    1. Hi Tamuria - it's so easy to compare ourselves to these women who are happy to admit that their images are glossed up and photo-shopped. I think we need to stop comparing and start cheering each other on more :)

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  8. Isn't it funny, the way that television or the media defines a real woman? Remember that old commercial "she can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and then she'll never let you forget you're a man?" That commercial cracks me up. The woman in a white blouse frying bacon, all glammed up, seriously who looks sexy frying bacon?

    Not that bacon isn't sexy! Just ask my husband! Lol

    Or that I would look like Kim Kardashian while I'm grocery shopping or at the playground with my kids.

    Becoming a real woman is so much harder then frying bacon in an evening gown, or Kardashian style balancing a drink on my shelf like rear end. It's the deep parts, the healed over hurts and disappointments, and never ending love that make a real woman. It's not the wrinkles on the face that makes someone ugly, that to me shows deep beauty. I agree with you a real woman is so much more.

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    1. That's so true Nikki - I have neither the time, nor the desire (nor the money!) to compete with these women. What they are selling is not my idea of beauty - I want depth and honesty and care when I'm with others - not a comparison of what colour our latest eyeshadow is!

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  9. I love your definition of what a real woman is and I completely agree! I am a very independent woman. Always have been. I have my own mind and my own opinions but I am open-minded enough to hear others out. I don't take much stock in what celebrities do or what the media tries to convince us are what a real woman (or man) should be. This is an inspiring post:) Popping over from #waywow

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    1. Hi Michelle - I am working hard on being that type of independent and confident woman - we need more of them in this world. Maybe one day we'll shine so brightly the glamorous icons will pale into insignificance!

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  10. Agree entirely Leanne. I don't see anything wrong with those who want to be glamorous we all have our different ways of feeling good. However, looks are everything I want to be healthy and happy and enjoy life to the full no matter what age I am. #lifelovinglinky

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    1. me either Sue - but the emphasis should be on your character's qualities - not on how much you primp and preen. We seem to have it the other way around most of the time.

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  11. Absolutely, I think being a real woman is being yourself and true to that. Being who you want to be for you and not for anyone else. I feel inspired reading this Leanne.

    Sally @ Life Loving
    #LifeLovingLinkie

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    1. thanks so much Sally - a lot of finding joy is recognizing who we authentically are and then living within those boundaries - it makes us a lot happier and helps us know what is "real"

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  12. I love your second paragraph it paints a very good picture to aspire to. I think that starts with self acceptance to then embrace these qualities.
    Thanks so much Leanne for your insight.
    Kathleen
    The Blogger's Pit Stop

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    1. thanks Kathleen - there is so much that we find in this life once we accept who we are and start living an authentic life - recognizing what is truly important to our core values.

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