what do I want to be?

#midlifeblog cresting the hill
Just like my teenage self -
I have no idea!
I've been busy leading my new life of laid back leisure and it's given me time to think about how I want to spend the next stage of my life. And the resounding response I have each time I give it serious thought is "I have NO idea"!

There has never been a time in my life when I have worked in a career where I felt I was fulfilling my life's calling. I have never felt an undeniable pull towards nursing, or teaching, or travelling or playing the stock market or painting or anything at all. I have read so many thought provoking articles by people who knew what they were called to be from an early age. Me.....I'm well and truly half way through and still haven't the slightest idea of what I want to be when I grow up!

I must admit that I've poo-poo'd the whole concept about finding "your passion" and the ideology that goes with the thought that you can't do anything unless you are 100% passionate about it. At the same time, it would be nice to find something that tweaks my interest and actually pays a living wage. Nobody is going to pay me to get out of bed and play around on Pinterest all day (unfortunately!) I also don't see a market for drinking cups of coffee with my friends - looks like I'll have to do that for free. I just have a bit of a secret yearning to find something even just a little bit inspiring.


They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince - and I've been kissing a lot of frogs over the years in regard to finding my "life calling" - still no luck in that department. I really don't want to keep waiting for my happily ever after to miraculously appear - I just want that light bulb moment when I finally realize what I want to be when I grow up!

One of the blessings of being part of a blogging community is that you read helpful hints all the time and I've come across a couple lately where the advice is to take some time to think about who you really are and what you want your life to be. I don't think I've ever stopped long enough to ponder either of these questions so that is one of my goals in the weeks ahead - to have a better idea of who I am and who I want to be and also what I want to be. It's really interesting to be thinking about these things now when half of my life is behind me, but if not now then when? So my journey of discovery continues......

31 comments

  1. I had exactly the same problem when I retired nearly two years ago. It has taken some time but I'm finally reaching a place where I feel contented - busy but contented. Thanks for the post which I saw at Fridays Blog Booster Party. I enjoy your posts.

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    1. Thanks Sue - it's nice to know there's light at the end of the tunnel!

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  2. Leanne, I am stopping by to let you know that I have nominated you to the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award.

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    1. Wow - thanks for that Deb - I have no idea of what it is but I will check it out and I feel honoured regardless x

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  3. Leanne, I really understand exactly what you are saying. Your words, "It's really interesting to be thinking about these things now when half of my life is behind me..." make me think of so many people I know who inspire me -- they are doing their best, most rewarding, most impactful work post-retirement. It sounds like you have a good plan laid. I've been listening to some podcasts by Michael Hyatt and he said a similar thing: decide what your priorities are, who/what you want to impact the most, and concentrate your efforts there; the rest will start to fall into place (VERY loosely paraphrased!). My husband is considering retirement in the next 4-8 years, and we spend a LOT of time talking about "what we want to do when we grow up"! :)

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    1. Oops, forgot to mention I saw this post at the #FridayBlogBoosterParty!

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    2. Thanks Wendy - it is such a strange feeling to have a clean slate and to wonder what to do with it - I'm trying to be intentional this time but we'll see where I end up! Thanks for visiting :)

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  4. BTW, you haven't changed a bit since you were a teenager! :)

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    1. Now that was a REALLY sweet thing to say!

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  5. Maybe I am living in a dream world, but I am attempting to live my passion and find something that is in my gifting and joy. If you see me greeting at Walmart in August, then you know I am having adjustments in the passion area! But, really there are several things that I would love and would fit me...so I am not going after just one area! I think it is good that both of us are blogging about it...carry on!

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    1. I may be scanning groceries at my local supermarket while you're greeting at Walmart - but at least we'll have given it a shot! I'm expecting wonderful things in your future and hoping for half decent ones in mine :)

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  6. I struggle with this too. Hopefully I figure it out sooner than later because it causes anxiety...or it's menopause. Both stink. ;-) Happy Friday!

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    1. I completely agree Kelly - menopause has a lot to answer for!

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  7. Personally, I feel there is another more effective way to find lasting fulfillment in all areas of life than the whole "just find your passion" rallying cry. It is to get clear on what your core values, create your own unique defintion of success based on those values and build all areas of life, work and relationships around that....becuase that is where lasting fulfillment comes from. Values based living, working and loving is the way to go!

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    1. That is SO true Ali - I'm realizing that I need to define who I am and what I like doing and then aim to fit my life into that rather than fitting myself into whatever happens to be around at the time. This time I want to do it right!

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  8. I am laughing so hard at that frog picture.

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    1. Hi Stephanie - it pretty well summed up my life at the time being :)

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  9. Could it be you are who you want to be?

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    1. That's a nice thought Barbara - maybe I got here by default? Regardless, I think I still have a little way to go yet to be all I am capable of being.

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  10. One thing you have going for you as you find your way is your great sense of humor, hang on to that one. I like what Ali says about value based living. Did you take the frog photo? That is so good. Your teenage photo is so sweet, I bet you still feel as young as that inside. We will stay tuned . . . Thanks for sharing your path of discovery with Fridays Blog Booster Party#9
    Kathleen

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    1. I saw the picture and just had to use it because it was a classic summary of my life at the time being :) And yes, I still feel 15 a lot of the time (maybe with a few more years of figuring out life but with a few more to go yet before I get it right!)

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  11. My advice has always been - what interests you most. Then find a way to make it work. Maybe there are people who are looking for someone to peruse Pinterest for them!

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    1. I'll keep my eyes open for a "Pinterest Peruser" job vacancy Diane :)

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  12. Hey Leanne your post was in the Top Six most clicked on Fridays Blog Booster Party #9 I will get special mention on Friday. Well done
    Kathleen

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  13. I have to agree with Diane! Although I'm not sure if the Pinterest thing will work out for you haha! What about virtual assitant? People are always looking for one of those!

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    1. So Rena, you don't think I'll be able to put "Pinterest Peruser" on my resume?

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  14. It is a big change in your life but like all of us you will adapt I'm sure. Thanks for sharing with us at #AnythingGoes #8

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    1. Thanks for the opportunity Sue - it's a great link party!

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  15. You might want to try volunteering at a number of different places that interest you to see if any of them are a fit. Thanks for sharing your struggle at the #AnythingGoes Link Party.

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    1. Hi Sandy - volunteering is definitely on my list of things to sign up for in the near future - it'll be good for keeping me occupied and might give me some direction as you suggested :)

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