DISCOVERING GRACE AND EXPRESSING GRATITUDE
We're onto "G" in the "List of More" and today I want to talk about giving Grace to others and to ourselves. Offering Grace allows kindness and forgiveness into our lives and that leads to my other "G" for today - Gratitude. Acting graciously helps us to let go of judgement and expectation and that in turn gives more room for gratitude for all that we have in our lives. So let's look at how to be more gracious today.GRACE TOWARDS OTHERS
I don't know about you, but I've been known to not suffer fools gladly - annoying people and "foolish" people bug me. The problem is that annoying people and people I may initially categorize as "foolish" may not be as bad as I think they are and it might be that they just view the world more simplistically than I do. On the other hand, they may be going through a battle that I know nothing about and that's what's impacting on their behaviour.Offering grace to others means not jumping to the conclusion that the other person is deliberately being irritating/pathetic/needy/angry/dismissive - or whatever adjective comes to mind. They may be going through a major (or minor) life crisis, or it might just be that they have a personality trait that simply doesn't gel well with ours. If we choose to respond graciously and not react in return, we can diffuse the situation and often turn it around. Even if it doesn't result in a fantastic outcome, a neutral or pleasant ending is still so much more peaceful than an argument or a heated encounter.
GRACE TOWARDS OURSELVES
Often it's easier to offer grace towards others, and much harder to extend that same offer to ourselves. We are so quick to judge and castigate ourselves for not being kinder, or more generous, or more loving in our responses - especially if we're under pressure or stress. We look back later and wish we'd been nicer or had taken a little more time to engage more thoughtfully. The would-have's, should-have's, and if-only's surface and we end up on the merry-go-round of wishing we were better people (well I certainly do!)What if we stopped the regret process in its tracks, and instead offered the hand of kindness and grace to ourselves? What if we acknowledged that it may not have been the perfect reply or attitude - and maybe next time we can choose to do it better? What if we were gentler with ourselves and admitted our human failings? What if we took a breath and thought - that wasn't my best, I'm a work in progress, I'm learning, I'm a good person, and I'll approach it differently next time?
GRACE THROUGH GRATITUDE
Grace often begins with gratitude. Being grateful for all we have, for the friends and family in our lives, for the privileges we take for granted, for the little things, is where grace starts to flow. If we remember how many times grace has been extended to us when we didn't deserve it, gratefulness wells up and we want to reciprocate to others.When we're ungrateful we become bitter - and bitterness spreads in an ugly wave that touches so many aspects of our lives. Bitter people respond badly towards others, they look for the negatives, take offence, and choose to find fault in all they encounter. It also overflows into their own lives - they think they're hard done by, they think they've missed out, they think they've been ignored or passed over - there's a simmering pit of dissatisfaction that prevents grace being a part of their lives.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you being gracious towards yourself? Are you extending some care and compassion to yourself when you occasionally fail? From there are you reaching out to others by responding rather than reacting? Taking a moment to offer grace can be the turning point between an encounter that ends badly - or one that ends with a smile.RELATED POSTS
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Gracious is such a lovely word, Leanne and one I don't hear very often. There is something special about someone who carries themselves with grace, speaks with grace and exudes warmth and kindness. That is the person I aspire to be.
ReplyDeleteI think the world needs more women of grace Sue - you're well on the way to being one (in fact I think you're already there). If we all paused for a moment and considered the feelings of others, we'd be pretty close to achieving grace every day.
DeleteThank you BBB and you are right just pausing before we say or even think is a good start. A great message to spread as I think the world could do with more grace. #ztt
DeleteIf we each took a moment to offer grace, our world would be a better place!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your nomination, Leanne. It is very well deserved.
Hi Donna - I think you're right about us all offering a little grace every day - how lovely would it be to experience that with each encounter? And thanks for the congrats x
DeleteGrace is something we need more of Leanne. Your post is very gracious and gorgeous. Huge congrats on your nomination, I love that I'm among friends in this category :)
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I was pleased to see so many fellow bloggers nominated too. I don't expect to come anywhere near the top, and I was amazed at how many fabulous blogs there are out there!
DeleteI enjoyed reading this again for #lifethisweek Leanne, you are a great thinker and so insightful in sharing your thoughts. Thanks again!
DeleteBased on your point about grace stemming from gratitude,I should be overflowing with that attribute, but unfortunately,like you, I do not always 'suffer fools gladly' and am prone to jump to conclusions. I have noticed that as I get older, I am more apt to overlook certain behaviors, so maybe there is hope. Beautifully written piece Leanne. Thanks for the reminder that there is always more beneath the surface.
ReplyDeleteI think you're probably more gracious than you give yourself credit for Suzanne. Anyone who exudes gratitude will automatically be a little ray of sunshine in this gloomy world. Being grateful and appreciative spills over to others without us realizing it - that's grace my friend x
DeleteI think being kind to ourselves is a bit like using an oxygen mask, we have to be able to be kind and compassionate with our self if we want to reflect that on to others. So much wisdom in this post and congrats on your well deserved nomination. I voted for you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the vote Sam - I really appreciate it xx And yes you're exactly right about kindness - it's a shame we don't learn it earlier in life though isn't it?
DeleteWhy is it that it sometimes is so easy to offer grace to others but not ourselves? One time my niece asked me if I "suffer fools gladly". I answered "I am a high school teacher. It is part of my job." I tried to be kind to all of my students at all times.
ReplyDeleteGrace and gratitude are naturally related. I loved reading your thoughts about how they are linked.
Your high school teacher comment made me laugh - my daughter teaches high school English and she often has stories to tell of "silly" student incidents - always good for a laugh but her tolerance is definitely higher than mine (probably from the exposure!)
DeleteLeanne - grace and gratitude - so simple and so important. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteHi Janet - they're both terms I associate with you - a shining example indeed!
DeleteI love the word grace. I also find someone who is gracious is very becoming. I read somewhere that what makes us upset or impatient or intolerant of others is linked to us seeing or thinking that about ourselves.Since having that knowledge, it has helped me be far more generous to anyone I may have not warmed to as a result. And, as humans "we are all in this together".
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week's optional prompt is Easter Means This. 16/51 #LifeThisWeek. 41/2019. Hope to see you there!
Denyse
I love the whole concept of grace and being gracious too Denyse - it's a quallity that's sadly lacking in a lot of people today. When you meet someone who personifies it, you're immediately drawn to them aren't you? And it's a good point about what we're intolerant of in others - I'm going to think about that next time someone annoys me!
DeleteWhat a beautiful post Leanne! I never really thought of associating the word 'Grace' with self care and gratitude but you are so right - the result is to exude grace and like you, I'd like to be that person! I try to be considerate of all people, even those I find annoying. I'm better at offering grace to others than I am to myself. I'm pretty good at self care in other ways. My problem is that inner self-critical voice. A work in progress I am! I really enjoyed reading this post. Thanks so much for linking it up with #ZTT xo
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