COMING TO THE CLOSE OF MY 50'S
In a little over a week's time, I won't be in my 50's anymore. A new decade
looms and I'm a little bit daunted, a little bit excited, and a little bit
nostalgic for what I'm leaving behind. When I hit 50 I was in a completely
different frame of mind. I was in a job that was 'wash/rinse/repeat' and I
could do it in my sleep, my kids had flown the coop and were happily doing
their own thing, my marriage was heading towards a hurdle, and I felt a
little lost.
Fast forward ten years and I can't believe how much that decade taught me.
I feel like a completely new person, I'm
more confident in who I am, I'm no longer working, I've watched my kids make great choices, I'm a
grandmother, my marriage survived its crisis and is going well, and I'm much
more "me" than I've ever been. Looking back, I'm grateful I put the
time and energy of my 50's into cultivating a life that feels authentic, and one that I
love. Today's post is all about the garden I've made my life into...
PLANTING
Life's a lot like a garden, it all starts with what you plant, and how much variety and 'density' you want to create. I didn't need a life that was
over-committed, over-whelming, or too busy anymore, but at the same time I didn't
want it to be dull, colourless and boring either. I needed to figure out
what was important and make sure I focused on planting those qualities and
activities, while ignoring the sales pitch of the world, social media,
empowerment gurus, and all those distractions that looked good on the
surface but wouldn't have given me the life I wanted.
It's hard not to look into your neighbour's garden and want what they're
having. It all looks so appealing doesn't it? But is it really? (remember
the scene below from When Harry Met Sally?) Looks can be deceiving!
WEEDING
Once I decided what was important to me (and that took several years to
figure out!) it meant weeding out some of the old stuff that used to
define me. I've been working really hard at pruning back things like
people pleasing,
perfectionism, trying to be in control of every little thing in my life,
worrying, over-thinking, comparison, basing my happiness and self-worth on
others, proving myself by my productivity, judging myself..... the list feels endless. Weeds tend to proliferate, and mine had been growing
for a very long time.
It took a lot of hard work and introspection to figure out what wasn't
working for me and to dig it out and discard it. I think it'll be an
ongoing process, but I feel like I can distinguish the good plants from
the useless ones these days - so ten years of work has definitely paid
off.
WATERING
After the planting and weeding, the only way to keep growing is to water
and cultivate the qualities that I want to have in abundance. If I don't
invest in myself, if I don't align myself with the right voices, if I
don't fill my world with positivity, faith, encouragement and affirmation,
then what I'm trying to grow will just wither away and die. I've been
blessed beyond measure to have people in my life who want to see me become
my best self and they cheer me on. Blogging has brought even more
wonderful people into my world and I'm so grateful for that too.
It's so easy to get burnt by listening to the ugly voices around us (and
in our heads) and replacing those with people who want the best for us is
so refreshing. I never want to have another drama queen or
dementor
in my life ever again!
FLOURISHING
I love the word "flourishing" it's what I want to do in my 60's. I feel
like these last few years of my 50's have been the beginning of a new and
colourful world for me. I've finally ditched working for other people (and
selling my soul in the 9-5 grind), I've found hobbies and interests that
feed my soul and make my heart happy. I don't have a single regret in my
life any more - I get to live on my terms and on my timetable - and I
could NOT have said that ten years ago!
You don't flourish if you don't appreciate what you have, you don't
flourish if you're not grateful for the life you're living, you only
flourish when you regularly take time to pause for a moment and admire the garden you've grown
your life into.
HARVESTING
I want my 60's to be the time where I get to enjoy the harvest of all the
work that I put into my 50's. I love that I'm about to launch into a new
decade with enthusiasm and anticipation - rather than feeling like I've
left the best behind. I might be older, but I'm so much happier. I feel
like every plant I've cultivated in my life is one that I want to have,
that I've put thought into, and that gives me pleasure.
I'm finally becoming myself - it might have taken me longer than I
expected, but I'm so grateful to be here and to get to enjoy the decade
ahead - full of joy, peace, and gratitude. I couldn't possibly ask for
more than that.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you cultivating a life that brings you joy? Are you carefully choosing what you want in the garden of your life and watering and caring for it? I hope you've reached an age and stage that's bringing you contentment and joy - or that it's coming your way in the very near future.RELATED POSTS
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