ART vs A BATHROOM RENO
I was thinking about life the other day and remembered the Oscar Wilde
quote "Life imitates Art..." and that might be the case for some people, but
my recent experience has led me to believe that Life actually imitates a
bathroom renovation.
We're currently in the middle of a complete gutting and remodelling of
our upstairs bathroom; to say it's been a journey would be to gloss over all
the chaos and disruption that comes with turning a 20 year old bathroom into
a lovely new space. During the process I could see the correlation to the
journey of life....
DESTRUCTION
Our bathroom was perfectly fine before we started the renovation process
(just a little dated and with a spa bath that we wanted removed), so I never
anticipated the level of destruction that would be needed before
construction could begin. The noise, dust, comings and goings, and general
chaos were emphasised more because our home is usually so quiet and ordered.
Having people randomly coming and going and breaking stuff down, tossing it
out, tearing down tiles, walls, and fittings - it's loud and it's
disconcerting.
Life can do that at times too. We can think everything's okay - and then we look closer and realize that a change is needed - or it's thrust upon us without us consciously choosing it. Change is always unsettling - especially change that shakes our world and makes us feel like we have no control over the upheaval. We resent it, question it, try to fight it, but in the end we have to surrender to the mess before we can move onto the next stage. The meme below describes exactly how I've been see-sawing from stressing to letting go, back to stressing again, and to letting go.....
RE-SHAPING
After the destruction, a plan needed to be implemented as to how the new bathroom was going to look and also function well. It's not just about having a pretty space to take a shower in, it's about where the drains will go, where the toilet should be positioned, where to put the lighting, the exhaust fan, the heating unit etc etc etc. So many small choices that lead to the end product working well for the next 20 years. Finding the perfect balance between form and function.
I remember reading the Brene Brown quote about
Midlife being a time of unraveling - and the challenges that reshape us into who we were meant to be. I think my 50's
were my time of re-shaping, deciding what I wanted the next 20 years to look
like, and then putting into place what was needed to get there. You don't
get a pretty life if you haven't put in the groundwork to get there. Life
may happen "when you're busy making other plans" but it happens a lot more
smoothly if you've laid the groundwork first.
GLITCHES
Oh those glitches! When they pull up the floor and can't fit the new
drainage in, when they wall over the power point outlet, when the mirror
cabinet you chose doesn't fit the space, when the whole room design has to
be flipped so the plumber can make the plan happen. When the door has to be
shifted to make the flipping functional. All straightforward changes - but
all glitches in the original design.
Life throws us glitches all the time, the health hiccups that come when we
don't expect them (I'm reminded of
my hip replacement
and
my parathyroid being removed
- all within a couple of years). I remember
tearing my calf muscle
when I picked up a box of Christmas decorations! Then there were the
job hiccups , an unexpected
early retirement, and plenty of other little life blips along the way. When those life
glitches happen, we don't give up, we readjust the plan and keep moving
towards the finish line undefeated and more confident in our ability to
handle the hurdles.
THE FINISH LINE
Short term pain for long term gain was always going to be the goal. When
we're in the middle of that short term pain it feels interminable and so
disconcerting. Nobody enjoys having their home disrupted and let me tell
you, going up and down the stairs at 3am when nature calls is not my ideal
way to live, but change doesn't happen without disruption. These weeks of
chaos are bringing us to the finish line, to a beautiful new space that will
serve us well as we age.
 |
| via: thoughtfultable |
In life we can choose comfort over discomfort, but we won't get the results we want
if don't go through the messy stages and learn how to deal with disruptions. Growth and change go hand in
hand with feeling unsettled and out of kilter. If we keep on, and push
through the chaos of deconstruction, we find ourselves out the other side
and living life in a way that feels like a good fit for the years ahead. "No
pain, no gain" has a degree of truth to it - and reaching the finish line is
so much sweeter when you've put in the work to get there.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
How's life in your world? Any disruptions, upheavals, or changes that are
challenging you? I know there are many who are going through physical
upheavals, health issues, and other disruptions - and I'm sending you hope
and the reassurance that eventually this too shall pass and the sun will
shine again - life has the habit of turning destruction into something new
and good if we calm ourselves through the storm.
RELATED POSTS
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A great analogy Leanne, I hope you have a new bathroom soon and can return to 'normal'.
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly been a much longer and more arduous journey than we expected when we launched into Deb - I'll be very relieved when the last tradie walks out the door!
DeleteLeanne - thank you for your Monday morning emails...I always look forward to reading them! 2 thoughts regarding this post. #1: Yes, any project, change or revision includes the 'very-messy-middle'. I have always known that, and always accepted that it's the only way to get to the other side. However, yours sounds a bit over the top. I absolutely empathize with what you're going through. And I can't wait to see how the bathroom looks!! #2: Your paragraph around the Brene Brown quote. Wow. It really landed with me. I have been on that path now for quite a while now, putting together the goals, projects and accomplishments I want to see in my life. And you phased it perfectly. So much so, that I am cutting it out and pasting it on the wall to reference often! Thank you, as always, for articulating and shining a light on ideas that inspire!
ReplyDeleteOh Kristine I'm so glad the Brene thought resonated with you. I find her approach to Midlife really helpful - she always reminds me that it's a process - and to do the work to get to the next level. That being said, this reno has taken FIVE weeks of our lives - great work, but SO slow! We're both really tired of all the ups and downs and living in a disrupted environment. I keep reminding myself that it'll be worth it in the end - and that it's better to face the pain sooner rather than in a few years time when we're older and even less patient! I'll be joyously sitting in the peace and quiet in a few days and enjoying the end result of it all. :)
DeleteYour post is so uplifting. Thank You.
ReplyDeleteThanks April - I felt like it was good to have something positive come out of all the disruption and chaos. :)
DeleteAll things are difficult before they are easy; difficulties are meant to arouse, not discourage.
ReplyDelete(source unknown) This was a quote I discovered some 45 yrs ago. It still rings true & I've had to call upon it more times than I care to mention. It's all about getting to the finish line, the recovery & then dealing with what comes up next! I trust that some of the discomfort will dissipate when you're enjoying the new bathroom.
Hi Mona - that's a good thought about difficulty - it does tend to discourage and I need to turn that around to being a challenge that will get conquered. I'm sure in another few weeks this bathroom trauma will be a memory and the joy it brings will gradually seep in to take its place. Roll on End Day!
DeleteHi Leanne. I can relate to what your feeling, right now. We are trying to buy a house, remotely, and we are having some challenges. Everything seems up in the air. My initial excitement over having this beautiful new home, has turned to doubt and uncertainty. I hope your bathroom renovation turns out to be everything you dreamed of, and all the anxiety that you went through, will have been worth it, in the end. ♥️
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - when life is going smoothly we forget about what it's like to be disappointed and discomforted - and how unsettling all that is. Sorry to hear that the house hunting is proving to be a challenge....wouldn't it be nice if things worked out as easily as we expect them to? I'm sure we'll both be in a better headspace soon, but in the meantime we just keep pushing through. x
DeleteHi, Leanne - Bravo to you for taking on the bathroom renovations. When my son was quite young, he accidentally broke a coloured glass window (with a boomerang) when my (first) husband was out of town. So, I skiddadled to get that fixed, which led to changing the wallpaper surrounding the window, and some of the paint, and the list went on. Since then, I have been too chicken to take on even the simplest of renovations. My hats off to you!
ReplyDeleteHi Donna - we thought we'd be smart and get a company to do it - what I didn't take into consideration was all the other jobs they're juggling at the same time - and the things that get missed or delayed. I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up and fix up with them. I'm sure it will be lovely when it's finished, but man! it's been a rough ride over the last month or so. I think the end of the tunnel is in sight though...
DeleteNo pain, no gain it would appear.
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass. Chin up and soldier on. 🥰Mum.
I've been quoting no pain, no gain a lot lately - but it's kind of hollow when a lot of the pain could have been avoided by better management and execution! Still, it's getting there (slowly.....) and I'm sure it'll be good when it's finally finished.
DeleteI felt this very much from both an owners perspective and a former tradesman’s wife. B was a kitchen and cabinet maker for some years after he left teaching and no job, despite ALL the planning (He was very thorough) went without some kind of glitch! And to be honest it’s not comfy at all having ‘strangers’ in the house is it? My bro and his wife got their bathroom done but nothing had to be moved or replumbed so I think it was more straightforward than yours. It WILL be worth it!? Right! Denyse
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - it's been a very long and slow process - it's almost done and I know it's going to be beautiful. I think I've been disappointed in the "over promising and under delivering" and lack of ownership of it all from the owner. It feels so frustrating when things are going at a snail's pace and you know it's because he has workers busy elsewhere and you're further down the list. I'm telling myself "this too shall pass" and practicing smiling and having patience while pointing out the latest glitch! Roll on Easter! :) x
DeleteHi Leanne -- This reminds me of when we renovated our bathroom a couple of years ago. The dust was everywhere! But you're right, the end result was so worth the temporary chaos. It's the same with some of life's bigger challenges!
ReplyDeleteHi Pradeep - it's a messy and chaotic process that I'm sure could be managed better if the customer was put above profit (which will never happen). I'll just be happy when they're out of my house and we can get in and clean up everything and start using this lovely bathroom - it's getting there.....slowly.....
DeleteHi Leanne, I feel your pain - we are going through the exact same thing - it’s taking forever and I just want it all to be finished! As you say, hopefully, it’ll be worth it when completed!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard isn't it? I know the end result will be worth it, but it's such a slow and disruptive process - and I'm so over being over promised and then under delivered as far as timeframes and finish dates go.....sigh....
DeleteHi Leanne, Oh, dear … chaos and disruption. Interesting about your comparisons/analogies … the concept of change, glitches … and as you say well “no pain, no gain.” A good feeling how you now have a beautiful new space. You remind me about an often saying around our home for small things and even bigger events … ‘my future self will be happy I did this today’ - even when it is uncomfortable, tiring, not in the mood. Good stuff, as always, Leanne! xx 💕 Erica
ReplyDeleteHi Erica - I keep reminding myself that if we'd left it another 5 years, we'd be 5 years older and 5 years less able to cope with it all. It's just so wearying and the owner of the business is a big talker who is also quite patronising (he does my head in!) The problem these days is that there are so few tradesmen and such long wait times, that you have to take what you can get and run with it. This will be our last big house thing and I'll never do another bathroom reno again! It is looking good though, and I'll be a lot more positive in a few weeks when this part is a memory and not my daily reality!
DeleteLeanne, Interesting how our lives are similar despite living in another season. Our house is getting dated and we could use upgrades (ha ha, our bodies, too - ‘life imitating art’) - we are concerned any renos would be the death of us LOL - happy to hear it is looking good. xx Erica
DeleteThey finished it yesterday (after much prodding on my part). I think we get very used to having our home and our life peacefully on our own terms. Being invaded and having noise and mess for lengthy periods of time just seems more impactful. It's worth it (after you forget the process to get there!) x
DeleteHI Leanne, This was wonderful to read. I found myself nodding along (even if only in my mind). You write beautifully; reading this feels as if we’re having a chat over coffee . While I’ve never done a bathroom renovation, it sounds quite invasive and I can imagine you are ready for it to be finished! (Perhaps it already is). That first meme is so good! A change that is challenging me at the moment is transitioning to retiring. I’ve been considering it for a while and in some ways have made the decision but still go back and forth in my mind and haven’t actually finalised my choice. I think I’ll go and read some of your early retirement posts as I suspect you’ve shared some helpful thoughts. Sue x
ReplyDeleteHi Sue - the bathroom got finished yesterday - we're still playing around with a few little things, but the tradesmen are gone and for that I'm eternally grateful. It was a lot more intrusive than I expected and it's a relief to have it done and finished. I think retirement is a bit like that too - it's a bit messy transitioning into it, but you'll know when the time is right and then you'll wonder why you waited so long. :)
DeleteI almost hate to say anything - will whisper it - but we are enjoying a calm period at the moment. I know it will be shortlived but my goodness, it has been a welcome reprieve. Enjoyed your comparision of life's glitches to the hiccups in your bathroom reno project. God love the poor soul who put the wallboard over the electric outlet. Silly things like that just make me NUTS! But like the woman in your graphic, I am beginning to adopt the 'whatever' attitude more often than I ever have before. I still fret and worry more than the average bear, I am sure, but at least there are days and little things I can just shrug about. Hope your bathroom project turned out to be everything you dreamed. We would like to enlarge our shower and maybe remove the garden tub in the process but the thought of having work done and the worry over the quality of the labor, or lack there of, makes me almost certain I can tough out the next 30 years in our cramped little shower stall. XO
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie - the bathroom reno has turned out beautifully, but the process truly did my head in. It's made me look at our other bathroom with new eyes - and I can tell you now, it looks very good - certainly good enough to go for another decade or so without me needing to have tradesmen in to mess around with things. A quiet home is a joyful and delightful space to live in - and I won't be changing that for a long time to come!
DeleteYour comments on unexpected disruption to our lives resonates! In late 2022 my husband retired and we had plans to renovate, etc. Five weeks after his retirement he was diagnosed with a rare and very aggressive form of cancer. He was told that if treatment was not effective he would not live but 3 months. The great news is his treatment/surgery has worked and he is doing well. However we know it is still there and lab work tells us it is coming back. Needless to say the physical and emotional ups and downs make for a chaotic mental state! And those reno plans have dropped on the priority list. Your posts are so real and calming. We do not know what God has in store for us, but a positive approach makes all the difference. Thank you for your blog! Love it!
ReplyDeleteOh thank you so much for your kind words, and I'm so sorry to hear about what you and your husband have gone through, and continue to deal with. Our health is something we take for granted until something comes from left field and blindsides us. I hope you make the most of every good day you get and that the renovation slides down much lower on your to-do list.
DeleteIt's lovely to have an update to your home, but often you can achieve something just as nice with a smaller approach - less time, less stress, and still a lot of satisfaction. We certainly won't be tackling the other bathroom - it looks fine as it is and some new towels and a new mirror freshened it up without the upheaval!
Keep smiling, keep being kind to each other (and yourself) and make the most of every day you're blessed with together. <3