Wednesday, 21 September 2016

MIDLIFE ROCKS! ~ Watching Your Kids Marry

MIDLIFE ROCKS! ~ Watching Your Kids Marry - learning to let go and watch them make their own lives

MILESTONES

It's always a joy watching your children reach different milestones. We think back fondly to when they started walking and talking when they were really little, and the days they started school, got their drivers licence, moved out of home, graduated, began their career ....and the list goes on.

It's great when they have academic achievements - seeing them do really well at university and then move into jobs where they are using the skills and the education they received is very gratifying. In this world of uncertain employment it is a relief to see them not only working, but working in the fields they trained so hard for.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

Those milestones are all wonderful, but for me, one of the most special moments wasn't seeing them achieve career goals (although that still warrants a high five) it was watching each of my children find that special person to spend the rest of their life with. 

JARED AND HANNAH

Our son was a typical engineer - he loved his cars, he had some really good friends, enjoyed video games, played sport and generally did "boy" things. We began to wonder if he'd ever meet a girl who would catch his eye and make him want to settle down. Then we got a phone call one day saying he'd like to bring a girl down to meet us, and (to say the least) we were a little bit stunned. 

On the day they walked through our front door, we were even more stunned - Hannah was this beautiful, tall, graceful, gorgeous young woman who our son was obviously smitten with. She turned out to be as lovely on the inside as she was on the outside and it was no surprise at all when Jared snapped her up and married her. 

Being the mother of the groom was a midlife milestone for me - to be included as a part of their big day, to watch their joy and share in the celebrations was so heartwarming. Seeing them commit to joining their lives together "til death us do part" was the sort of thing all mothers hope their children will find. We had a real sense of peace that they were so right for each other.


the joy of being part of your child's wedding day - www.crestingthehill.com.au
Our son Jared and his lovely bride Hannah - September 2011
ERIN AND LUKE

While we were happy to see Jared so settled, we worried about our daughter, Erin, who had been through a tough break up with her boyfriend and a bit of a life meltdown. She had taken a semester off university to come home and recharge her batteries. It must have been hard for her seeing her brother so happy and settled while she was feeling so uncertain about her own life. Fortunately the resilience of youth kick back in and before we knew it, she was ready to relaunch and head off again.

A few months later she headed back up to the city to start a new year at university, she moved into a share house, made new friends and life was looking settled again. Then one day out of the blue we had another one of those phone calls where we were asked if we'd like to meet a young man that she had re-met through facebook (modern romance at its best!) She and Luke had known each other through high school, re-connected and fell in love. He was exactly what she needed - and we could see how much he loved her too. In a very short time they were engaged and before we knew it, there was another wedding to look forward to.

the joy of being part of your child's wedding day - www.crestingthehill.com.au
Our daughter Erin and her husband Luke - December 2012
Their wedding was a little different to Jared and Hannah's. They decided to head off for a destination wedding in Bali and so we packed a suitcase each and this time I got to be mother of the bride. The weather was steamy, the scenery was beautiful, Erin and Luke were glowing with happiness and once again it was wonderful to share in the joy of your child committing to the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. 

FOR BETTER AND WORSE

I know the cynics out there will talk about divorce statistics and how out-dated marriage is today, but it's not how I see it. There are no guarantees in this life, who knows what the future holds? What I do know is that if you find someone who makes your heart happy and wants to spend their life with you, it's worth the risk. Love and marriage are what you make them and it's not my place to be handing out advice or speculating on what might or might not happen to my children and their spouses in the dim distant future. No, it's my role to encourage them, to love them and to celebrate moments like their weddings because they are another aspect of why this stage of life is so lovely.

I've learned to stop giving advice and now I give compliments - especially to my children
Compliments are definitely the way to go ~ Zen To Zany

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MIDLIFE ROCKS! ~ Watching Your Kids Marry - learning to let go and watch them make their own lives

21 comments:

  1. I love this phrase/notion even though mine is nowhere near marrying age :-)
    My job truly is to encourage celebrate and cheer her on. There's enough negativity and naysayers already.

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    1. I agree Carla - cheer them on, build in good foundations and support their decisions. Then sit back and watch them thrive - what more could a mother ask for?

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  2. My oldest daughter was married this summer, and while the lead up to the wedding was stressful (my issues, not hers), the event was amazing, inspiring and full of love. Thrilled to witness the two of them committing to each other, in front of everyone we loved.

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    1. That's the thing with weddings Kim - they have lots of stuff in the lead up (some good and some bad) but the day itself is so joyful - and everything else pales into insignificance :)

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  3. Since I don't have kids, this is one pleasure I have to live vicariously. Appreciate your thoughts.
    Carol

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    1. Thanks Carol - it's probably a nice way to have kids - you can smile at a photo or two and get back to your own life without all the worries :)

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  4. Great post, Leeanne. As a floral designer I was totally immersed in my son's weddings. It was fun and stressful at the same time but, a great way to get more acquainted with the brides. Seeing your kids happy in marriage is so wonderful!
    b

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    1. I'd love to be clever at something creative like floral design - and I imagine you would have been a big hit with the wedding parties :) It is really lovely to see them so happy on their big days.

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  5. What a great post! Both of my children married in 2015, that was quite a year! I still can't believe it!

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    1. If you were anything like me Tam, you probably didn't expect anything in the wedding department and then got it in a deluge - it's kind of a nice way to do it. I couldn't imagine having children that needed three years to plan and prepare for their wedding day - it would be exhausting.

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  6. Replies
    1. Thanks so much - there's nothing like a happy family photo or two is there :)

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  7. It was nice reading your love stories and seeing the photos. I agree, Leanne - it is worth the risk.

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    1. Life is all about risk taking - and sometimes you just need to step out and risk your heart and hope that all you've invested pays off. I pray for my kids all the time that they will weather the storms and still have love.

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  8. Your family is beautiful. The 3 daughters weddings were a bit stressful but so happy they are so happy. My sons wedding was easy, I just wrote checks:) We have one single son left and we pray he finds the love and happiness his siblings have.

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    1. We were really lucky with both weddings - our son's for the same reason as you and our daughter's because it was all organized by the wedding people in Bali and we just showed up for the event - very pleasant! Especially seeing the wedding is just the beginning and not the crescendo.

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  9. Love the photos! I'm looking forward to watching my kids get married one day, although I know I will sob like a baby.

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    1. I was a little bit watery eyed, but they were all so happy and so ready to make a commitment - there was so much joy and laughter and love - what more could a mother ask for? You'll love it when it's your turn Lois.

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  10. It must be so nice to feel that your kids are off on their own and starting their own lives, and to see them loved and happy. I cannot imagine this phase yet since my daughter is 14, but I hope to one day be the mother of the bride!

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    1. You'll be an amazing mother of the bride Rosie - and it comes a lot more quickly than you would expect - so make the most of the time you have with her now :)

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  11. Very nice! My girls aren't married yet.
    Thanks for bringing your post to Blogger's Pit Stop last week.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew

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