BEING UNBUSY BUT NEVER BORED
When I left my
old toxic job
I decided that I'd never work myself into the ground again. I looked for
another job but just couldn't bring myself to risk repeating the issues I'd
faced in the last one. I slowly found a new rhythm of living - choosing to retire early and to be Unbusy, letting life unfold at its own pace.
My days were filled with a mixture of activities and at-home time, and I was
quite content with that, I never felt bored - just pleasantly occupied... Then my hip failed, and I had to drop most of my
more "active pursuits" and
Unbusy-ness
started to slide towards laziness, dis-connectedness, and like I was living Ground Hog Day over and over again. It knew I
needed something to change, but what?
WORKING FOR PLEASURE, NOT PROFIT
After some thought, I realized that my life had become unbalanced, and I needed something to get me out of the
house, to be a little more socialized, and to challenge myself. The idea of
a job re-surfaced, but I didn't want a "career" or something that took over
too much of my life, I wanted work to be a pleasure instead of the previous
stress and unhappiness.
I found for the first time in my adult life, that I was in a place where my
motivation to find work was based on it adding enjoyment to my life, rather
than on providing an income to help pay the bills, the mortgage, and put
food on the table. It was a significant change of mindset for me to go to work for myself - instead of 'sacrificing
myself' to do what needed to be done. It also meant that I could re-engage my mind and bring a little busyness back into my life to make up for the loss of mobility.
PUTTING SOME BOUNDARIES IN PLACE
When I began tossing around the idea of
un-retiring at 60, I knew I'd have to put some very specific guidelines in place to avoid
finding myself back in a job that I disliked and resented.
I didn't need to be working for the fortnightly pay cheque anymore, so what
did I want to achieve by going back into the workforce? These were the four
main drawcards of the job I ended up applying for:
1. HOURS THAT DIDN'T TAKE OVER MY WEEK
I really didn't want to be working at the expense of my other interests. I
don't enjoy getting up at the crack of dawn several days a week, and after 3
years of retirement I wasn't in a rush to go back to that lifestyle. So, I
wanted a "little" job - one that only took up a day or two of my week, so
that I had plenty of time for family, friends, leisure, exercise, and
more.
2. WORKING FOR, AND WITH, GOOD PEOPLE
I vowed to myself that I'd never work in a toxic environment ever again. A
lot of workplaces have a power imbalance, or take their employees for
granted, or are full of people punching their timesheet and counting down
the hours until they can leave. I wanted a boss who appreciated my skills
and experience, and co-workers who pulled their weight and were pleasant to
work with.
3. CHALLENGING MY BRAIN WITHOUT OVERWHELMING ME
As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think I'm quite as sharp, or as good
at mult-tasking as I was at 30. I'm still more than capable of learning new
skills, but it's good if I can base them around what I already know, and
take the new information in bite sized chunks. I hate feeling out of my
depth and I don't like letting my employer down by being too slow on the
uptake.
4. REMUNERATION THAT REFLECTED MY WORTH
Although I don't need to fight for the last cent to make ends meet, it's
still good to be paid for what I bring to the table at work. The old saying
"you pay peanuts and you get monkeys" rings true for me. If an employer
values me, then they'll pay me a fair wage that reflects the fact that I'm
facilitating making their business run smoothly.
SO, I UN-RETIRED BUT STAYED UNBUSY
It's been a year now since I found a little job
that ticked all those boxes. It also allows me to interact with new people, and another
benefit is that I get to put on 'work clothes' and a bit of makeup - feeling
spruced up for the day makes me happy, and I can dress for comfort for the
rest of the week. I like that I "get up, dress up, and show up" - use my
brain, work really hard, and then come home to do what ever else I feel like
for the rest of the week. I finally feel I've gotten the balance between busy and Unbusy living just right for the foreseeable future.
It's a very pleasant stage of life to be working for pleasure and not for
the weekly pay cheque. I'm finding it interesting to have a job that I want,
rather than one I need - and how that alters the dynamic for me. I
don't work because I'm obligated to, I work because I want to - and that
changes everything.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you a career driven person who'll work for as long as you can? Or are
you filling your life with other interests? Has un-retirement been an option
you've considered?
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I loved this post . I feel the same way . I retired and work part time for my son. It’s a fun job and I still have lots of time to have lunches with my friends . 💕
ReplyDeleteWorking for your son would be awesome - keeping the family bonds strong but still having lots of time to do what you love - win/win!
DeleteCongrats!
ReplyDeleteThanks Janet - it's been a very confronting year - finding a little job that hasn't added more stress has been lovely.
DeleteI think working one day a week with people you enjoy working with would be the perfect situation. Subbing was kind of like that for me. But one day often turned to two days and in some cases, ten days. And I subbed for different teachers so that meant different classrooms, different kids, varying difficulty in the subject matter I had to teach. I like routine!! Would rather sub in the same classroom over and over...but not more that once a week at a time.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy getting dressed for work. Thinking again. Thinking about things unrelated to family and home. I haven't worked in an office situation in many years but I think I might enjoy it. Hope this job continues to feed you!!
Hi Leslie - our daughter is a teacher who dropped her work to half-time during the pandemic. She's enjoyed the flexibility so much that she's chosen to keep doing that, but adds one day of substitute teaching each week. She tells them which day she's available and that's it - she turns down any other requests. It's been perfect for her. Maybe you can be more firm on how much availability you can give them. You're just too popular! :)
DeleteIt sounds perfect. I'm no longer career driven - something I know others in the workplace have difficulty understanding, but is still needed for the extras we want in life. I'm driven, but to succeed on my own merits in my own field and at the moment the corporate job helps pay to keep that dream alive.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - I think it's all about priorities - you love to travel, which is expensive, and your writing is a priority too - it helps to keep working to fund both of those. I've chosen to be more of a homebody and that reduces our outgoings significantly. I can earn so much less to keep the wolves from the door if I'm not spending too much. That being said, we're looking at doing some refreshments around the house and I can hear the cash register ringing when I'm just at the stage of thinking about getting quotes!
DeleteHi Leanne. I'm so glad your job has worked out for you. I haven't worked for pay in about 13 years, and I don't miss it, not for one day. Since we left the States, and have been traveling, I've discovered a side of myself, that I didn't know existed. I was a good teacher, but that was a small part of who I was. I've had time to do a lot of self-evaluation, something I never had time to do when I was working, and it's made me a more happy and fulfilled individual. Thank you for sharing your experience. Oh, and guess what, we're in Bulgaria, visiting Cheryl and Olivier. I hear I have you to Thank for connecting us, through blogging. Thank you so much. I truly value both of you as my dear friends. xx Christina Daggett
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - yes I remember telling Cheryl about you because you were both ex-pats living amazing lives in foreign countries. I think that's probably why you've never missed work - your days are so full of change and variety and new experiences. I could happily stop work tomorrow - I don't feel like I'm doing it because I need to work, it's more about finding something that engages my mind and brings some variety back into my life. As I'm gradually adding more and more of what I lost last year back into my schedule, the job may get squeezed out. It's a week to week thing for me - and a new way to live my life after being such a planner up until now.
DeleteGive Cheryl a hug from me - I'd always hoped she'd head back home for a visit and we'd get to do coffee - but I don't think that's on the horizon now - so you can be my hugger. Have fun and a laugh for me xx
Hi Leanne! I also think sometimes about going back to work temporarily, mostly to help out a fellow pharmacist who is overwhelmed or can't get vacation. Licenses prevent that but there might be other work I could find, as you have done. I agree with only working for a fair wage though -- I had a retired friend whose volunteer work really took over her life as they asked more and more of her. It's all about work/life/retirement balance, isn't it! Great blog, Leanne...
ReplyDeleteHi Jeannie - thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I've changed careers a few times - and wouldn't have the registration I need to return to my original vocation and salary, but finding something that keeps me interested, pays well for what I do, and feeling appreciated is a really nice position to be in. I've always volunteered, but that's been something I dropped last year when I couldn't walk with my hip, and to be honest, I'm not missing it. I thought about doing other volunteer work (maybe at a thrift shop) but it just doesn't hold appeal for me right now. I'm just going to go with the flow for now - when things get out of balance again, then I'll change direction again - that's what I love most about retirement - flexibility to be doing what I like (for a change!) x
DeleteThose boundaries are so important. It’s a shame we often don’t have the option to draw those boundaries when we are younger.
ReplyDeleteI think I would have enjoyed working a LOT more if I'd had the opportunity to work from choice rather than necessity Michelle. I guess it's never too late to finish the race well and to go out with a smile rather than a sigh of relief. :)
DeleteHi, Leanne - Working for (and with) pleasure, while maintaining your boundaries is the perfect balance. Lots of wisdom here!
ReplyDeleteThanks Donna - to work for pleasure is such a strange concept for me - and one I'm still getting my head around. But I'm getting a lot better with understanding the importance of balance and reducing stress - especially now that I have the opportunity to do so. x
DeleteLeanne, I am glad that you were able to find work that you like and on your own terms. I had to quit work because of my health issues which are getting worse. It looks like I might need a hip replacement. Not looking forward to that as I can barely keep my head above water with the sudden passing of my Beloved. Reading your blog lightens the load.
ReplyDeleteI have to mention that I was pleasantly surprised when I read Anonymous (Christina Daggett)'s comment about Cheryl and Olivier. I used to follow Cheryl's blog and comment on a regular basis, but it looks like she closed her blog. Since then, I have trying to get in touch but I am unable to do so.I couldn't believe my eyes when I read Christina 's comment and your response. I just loved Cheryl and often wondered what happened to her. It's a small world. That made my day! 😃
Hi Yvonne - Cheryl is a fellow West Australian who has been on an amazing journey. I think she finally stopped blogging once they settled in Bulgaria. She and Christina both have such interesting lives and I've loved keeping in touch when I can. I'd always hoped Cheryl would come back for a visit, but she says she's permanently gone now - so her adventure has become her life.
DeleteSorry to hear about your hip - having been there and done that so recently I know how daunting it all is. I must say though, that it's been such a blessing to have had the op and gotten my life back again, it's also shown me that I can tackle a setback and move past it (I'm juggling another one atm with my parathyroid going a bit crazy). Getting older certainly brings its challenges. xx
Leanne,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post...In the past as you know, you and I traveled a very similar path with leaving a toxic job, being perfectly content to stay home and away from people to heal from that toxic job...But I also had let my health and my weight lapse and was turning into a physical mess. Last June, I decided that I needed to do something about it and started on a journey toward a more healthier life and to get back to being ME!! I have now lost 46 pounds and feel 100% better...I now even walk for exercise which thought I would never be able to do again...I am no longer embarrassed by what I had become and I am now getting out more and doing more things...I hope to go back to doing volunteer work like I used to at our church and maybe for other organizations...BUT I do not want to go back to work...I am also thinking of taking over doing PR for our church...All that will keep me busy but still allow me to have time for myself... Glad that you are enjoying your "little" job and I hope that you are feeling better...Take Care!!
Hugs,
Deb
Hi Deb - yes, we've certainly both been through a similar journey at a similar time - and I never thought I'd return to work. It was the removal of so many of my leisure activities that pushed me back in that direction, and if a volunteer position had turned up where I could stay seated, then I might have done that instead. So much volunteer stuff involves being mobile and I just lost that completely for a while last year.
DeleteCongrats on the weight loss - that's a huge achievement and one you should be really proud of - especially since it's given you your mobility back too. I've seen some of your pictures of "before and after" on your blog and it's such a testament to your hard work and commitment. I think we're both doing so well after all the toxic stuff we dealt with and it shows that resilience is the key to bouncing back. x
I think those sound like the perfect guidelines to keep in place and I'm rather fortunate that I've always been able to do that (though I haven't worked outside the home in over 10 years!-- but I do hope to find a job I like that challenges me but remains fun and fills the void in another couple years when all my boys are out of the house).
ReplyDeleteHi Joanne - my DIL returned to work recently when her youngest started school - so nearly 7 yrs out of the workforce. She ended up changing careers completely and working part-time in admin at their school so she could shape her worklife around her kids - who are her number one priority.
DeleteI truly believe that the right opportunities present themselves when we're ready to embrace them. For me to find such a perfect little job at just the right time is a great example of that.
Hi Leanne, it's great that you have found a job that adds to your life rather than taking from it. Having a good work / life balance is so important, as when this is missing, it takes the joy out of your life.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth - I never thought I'd be able to say that I had a job that I enjoyed and chose to go to in preference to being home. I think the fact that there is still so much time to be my own person and to enjoy my leisure time is the key to it all. Balance is vital for a healthy life and to keep stress and/or boredom out of the mix.
DeleteHi Leanne, I can't believe it's been a year already! So pleased you've found that balance and it's working out for you. I do a day here and there for friends when they have school groups in for camps and enjoy the change but don't want anything more regular.
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - your life is so full with your volunteering and Rotary etc that I'm surprised you'd be able to fit anything else in. I was very content with my volunteering and interests until my hip took so many of them off the table. This little job helped me feel like I was still relevant and useful - and it continues to do so for now......but who knows what the future holds? :)
DeleteIt sounds like you found the right balance, Leanne. I'm still in the early retirement phase, enjoying no obligations and exploring new interests. That said, I am feeling the pull to start "something," but I'm not sure what. I do not want to be tied to a job at this point, particularly because I want the freedom to move between our two homes. We'll see what the next few months bring. I'm trying to be patient and open to possibilities.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - I took 3 years off before I started this little job - and may not have jumped in if I hadn't lost so many other aspects of my life to my hip issues. My friend volunteers half a day a week in an office and loves it - she can come and go on long holidays without worrying about inconveniencing anyone or "losing her job". She feels like it keeps her mind active but allows her the flexibility she needs for the travel she loves. Who knows what the future will bring? Enjoy every moment of your freedom and if something else is meant to be added, it will appear at the right time and when you're ready. x
DeleteHi Leanne, I'm so glad you've found the perfect balance for you. It's amazing how the right kind of job came around at the right time. Meant to be! My balance is all out at the moment, but can't be changed so I have to adapt around it as best I can. An upcoming holiday on the horizon certainly helps!
ReplyDeleteHi Min - I think there's always times when life gets out of balance (last year was that time for me!) But if we're aware of it and put things into place where we can to bring the balance back, then that's the best we can do at the time. Having a holiday to look forward to is definitely a way of handling the trickier times. x
DeleteHi Leanne - I liked the two words - unbusy and unretire. It's important that we keep ourselves occupied but in a manner that's not overwhelming, but energizing.
ReplyDeleteThat's it exactly Pradeep - I can't imagine spending retirement being full on all the time, I like the more leisurely pace - but I also don't want to be bored or treading water. It all comes down to finding enough to keep us occupied balanced by rest and mindfulness.
DeleteYou certainly show us via your life experiences and blogging that nothing in life is static or stays the same, and its so important for us all to remember that. Thanks Leanne, your stories are always interesting and sometimes I can see 'me in them too' as we both use processes of thinking and change to share our life as it is now. Thanks for linking up your post for this week’s Wednesday’s Words and Pics at Denyse Whelan Blogs. Your presence in the WWandP community is valued. I hope to see you next week! Denyse.
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - life is definitely not static! Every time I think I've settled into a "new normal" life throws a new little twist for me to deal with - at least it keeps things interesting. I really want to keep things balanced - no more stress, but not too much boredom either.
DeleteHi Leanne, a great example of changing paths and not being rigid in our thinking. I think despite your health issues you have found a great compromise with the new job. Sometimes retirement doesn't necessarily mean we retire from life or some form of work. It is all about finding what brings us joy, isn't it? Hope you are feeling better soon you are really in the wars at the moment. xx #WWandP
ReplyDeleteHi Sue - what I love most of all about retirement is the flexibility it gives us - we can choose what feels right, then change our mind and try something else, or add something in (or take it away). Being able to renegotiate things last year to fill the gaps was a godsend - and who knows what this next stage has in store for me? At least I've had the time to go for the scans, tests etc and to the specialist without juggling it around work, family or other commitments. Life is always changing! x
DeleteHi Leanne, I like the idea of un-busyness. I'm glad you found something that works for you. These are some great tips. I hope your hip is healing well. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I retired, I tried working from home for an organization - or two or three. One was paid, but not what I felt the job was worth. It was also way more than part-time. I quit after finding my replacement. The rest of my time until I moved I worked with local service organizations and served as the secretary. It wasn't hard, but it was engaging. There was no pay, and when one person got too demanding and overbearing, I quit. That was the joy of working for me after retirement. Now I donate time at the church and that's about it. I've thought about other jobs, but none appeal to me. I have friends who work a little, and some of them like it and some quit after a short time. Here in a new place, I've had my hands full moving and removing. My husband do things together in real estate, and somehow that seems like work even though we don't get a paycheck, so to speak. We can't let ourselves just go on and do nothing, can we?
Hi Marsha - I really appreciate that I can leave a job or a volunteer position now without it impacting our finances or stability. For so long I was trapped in jobs I didn't "love" because they brought in the income we needed to pay the bills etc. Once I was past that stage it's been such a joy to pick and choose what appeals and to leave behind what doesn't. I love having spare time, small commitments, and the flexibility to do what suits me for the first time in my life - retirement rocks! Oh....and my hip is great thanks - it's amazing what some titanium can do these days.
DeleteI kno a lot of people that have unretired, or never retired (partners in legal firms put to pasture because of their age become barristers and have a whole new careeer starting at 60).; I think there is a lot of value in work beyond money but I think you hit the nail on the head - from the very beginning we should work for pleasure not profit. I do think the younger generation have a handle on this better than we ever did. (and funnily enough they are criticised for it).I am glad you have a gig that is working for you and making you feel good.
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia - for so many decades I worked because I needed to - and I seemed to often work in jobs where I didn't feel appreciated. It's so nice to finally work for pleasure and to have a boss who voices her appreciation of what I bring to the table. I don't see myself being there forever, but there's another six+ years until "official retirement age" so who knows?
DeleteSounds like you've found the ideal balance. I have 9 years to go till retirement, but I'm already thinking about what I want those years to be like. As much as I enjoy lots of unstructured time, I know that isn't good for me long-term, so I'll probably take the path you did--find a part-time gig that gives me a reason to get out of the house a day or 2 a week and is mentally interesting but not all-consuming. I'd also be interested in doing consulting--which can be intense for short periods but with breaks between gigs. I've done a little of that as a side gig and really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteHi Janet - I think the secret to a successful and enjoyable retirement is to transition into it. Going from full-time work to full-time leisure is quite a leap, so having something that interests you, but allows for plenty of free time is a great way to gradually leave employment behind. I'm good at "doing nothing" but it's still nice to balance that out with being productive in some way too.
DeleteHi Leanne, It's great that you found the formula and the right job that satisfy you. I'm selective with how and where I spend my time and energy. I've volunteered for a few half-day or one-day events and nothing more. I enjoy owning my time to pursue my interests. Thank you for your weekend coffee share.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie - it really does come down to balance - and that looks different for each of us. I definitely think we all need to be doing things that engage our hearts and minds - and there's so much to choose from once we reach this age and stage - we're so blessed aren't we?
DeleteSounds like you have found the work retirement balance that suits you. It's good to have a balance of activities in all areas of life. I think it makes our mood & health better too. Karen #Weekendcoffeeshare
ReplyDeleteHi Karen - yes, balance is definitely the key to a happier and healthier life. Trying to jam pack too much in creates stress, and not having enough to do creates boredom - so it's just a matter of finding out where that sweet spot is (which is different for all of us).
DeleteSo good Leanne. I was always a stay at home mom, and loved it, but in 2014 circumstances required me to find work. I found a great flexible 4 day a week job working for an older lady in her home. It worked perfect. When she had to go into a nursing facility, I needed to find something else and was very anxious because "what did I know how to do". My son in laws aunt reached out to me (because I had reached out to her a few years earlier) asking if I was still wanting some work. It was perfect timing and while the money isn't what my husband was hoping for, it's a perfect fit for me, only 5 minutes from home and while I was working 4 days a week, I've gone down to 3 days. Who knows how long I'll work there...I truly love being home, but the extra income is helpful.
ReplyDeleteHi Kirstin - I think for a lot of us, loving being home is the key. If we can't afford to do that, then finding a job that allows us to still have "at home time" is a great way to stay happy in what we do. You did well to have two jobs arrive with perfect timing - and that's so nice when it happens (and takes away a lot of the stress of wondering how to make ends meet in the days ahead).
Delete