THE BACKPACK THEORY
The backpack theory, also known as the rucksack theory, is based on the idea that we all carry with us a pack full of our experiences and expectations, and these influence the way we think, feel and act. This backpack has a different feel and weight for each of us, and we get to choose whether to discard some of the contents, add to them, or exchange them for a more comfortable load.
I think Midlife is the perfect time to rummage through our packs and see if we're carrying unnecessary items and to adjust the contents.
I found some interesting questions in a post about this topic and, rather than writing about myself and my own backpack, I thought I'd share the questions and leave you to ponder what's in your own backpack and whether it needs adjustment....
WHAT'S IN THE AVERAGE MIDLIFE BACKPACK?
- Past experiences – memories, thoughts, images, ruminating about the past.
- Current concerns – life circumstances, worries.
- Anxiety about what might happen and your ability to cope.
- Your core beliefs about yourself, others and the world.
CHANGING YOUR BACKPACK OR ITS CONTENTS
- What would your new backpack look like?
- What would be most helpful for you to carry with you?
- How would you start lightening your backpack?
- What would need to happen before you could lighten the load?
- If you took your backpack off, what would you notice?
DISCARDING YOUR BACKPACK
- Can you imagine discarding your backpack completely and not needing it any more?
- How would things be different if you didn’t have your backpack?
- What thoughts would go through your mind at that time?
- What would it look like? What would you do differently?
DOING IT DIFFERENTLY
- What do I need to stop doing?
- What do I need to do less of?
- What do I need to start doing?
- What do I need to do more of?
WHAT ABOUT ME?
To answer a few of those questions, I think my backpack is lighter than it used to be. I feel like I carry less worry, less stress, and less commitments with me than I did when I was younger. As I've discarded some of the contents, I feel like I've replaced my utilitarian, bulky backpack with a lighter, brighter, more personal one. I don't see myself ever being without baggage, but I like that the load is simpler, lighter, and more personal than it used to be.
What about you and your backpack? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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Hi Leanne, I still carry a few skeletons in my backpack that I'd love to offload - feelings of inadequacy, regret, and fear of rejection, to name a few. Those have gotten much lighter with age, but I still carry them. I also carry curiosity, positivity, and energy, which serve me well and keep my head above water. Life without a backpack - nice concept.
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne - I carry a lot of those skeletons too - but I think they're getting a little smaller and lighter as time goes on. I also feel like I carry more optimism and gratitude these days - and that makes me really happy.
DeleteHi Leanne. This is such a good one, and really has me taking a look inside. I'm letting go of other people's opinions, and really valuing my own. I'm letting go of all the negativity, from my past, and just focusing on leading a full life. I have no regrets, even about the painful things that I had to go through. I truly believe that the painful aspects of life are what make us stronger, and help us get to where we're supposed to be. ♥️
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - I think letting go of negativity and regrets lightens our load immensely and leaves room for the things that bring joy - and they weigh a lot less! I'm also trying hard not to put things back into my pack that I've previously taken out - I remind myself that they're not mine to carry anymore. :) x
DeleteAn interesting analogy, Leanne. Our family plays a game where we place things in our rucksack, and it turns into a memory game. Of course, this is different. Definitely, unnecessary items in my rucksack, often in retrospect. The phrase that stands out for me ‘…a different feel and weight for each of us …’ What is still worth holding onto to … gave me goosebumps. The permission to let go and leave things behind. I know your post will stay with me for awhile as I mull on these gems. Another great post, Leanne! 💕 Erica
ReplyDeleteHi Erica - I like that a backpack can hold good things for us to carry with us - and that it's not all about the baggage we cart around. I've become very conscious of the weight I used to put on myself because of my personality type and my need for safety and security. I've been having lots of conversations with Ross about this as we discuss buying a new car - I go for practicality while his default is enjoyment - it's a balancing act and sometimes I just need to let go of the weight of being the killjoy and go with a lighter approach - still a work in progress!
DeleteI need to print out both of these text images and put them on the back of my apartment door so I see and read them every time I go out! Thank you for encouraging a lightening of the load!
ReplyDeleteHi Allison - I'm so glad you enjoyed them. There's a third one I came across the other day that I pinned - you'd probably really like it too: https://au.pinterest.com/pin/360147301473779079/
DeleteHi Leanne - I still carry a heavy load. We all have different life experiences and the load is heavier for some than for others. I try to lighten my load a little at a time but I sure wish that it was lighter. I am still practicing in letting things go and it all depends on my stress level. Some days are easier than others. I am learning self-compassion and not comparing my progress to others. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Yvonne, I know that it's different for each of us, and different at various stages of life. I feel like mine is a lot lighter than it was 5 years ago when I felt like I was drowning and so weighed down with the load I was carrying. I think being aware of what we're carrying and looking for opportunities to put the load down now and then for a rest, or even to leave something behind as we move forward is the goal of Midlife - it's certainly mine, and I hope your load gets a little lighter over time. x
DeleteAn interesting theory. As part of my trauma therapy, I am looking at emotional "things in the backpack" and some have lightened. Of course we lost lots of physical stuff, but it's a bit frightening to think how much we still have. I'm sure I'll be doing another purge when we start to unload the storage and try putting things away. The new house will have slightly less storage. I am actually looking forward to that purge. When we were salvaging, there was no rhyme or reason - it was merely, "this isn't ruined, pack it away". Now, I think i'm in a place of "do I really need this?" I know, the concept is more emotional baggage, but I took it to both emotional and physical. Thanks for sharing the concept.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - I definitely think it's emotional and physical. I think that's where de-cluttering helps people because they feel like they've freed up some mental space as well as the physical surrounds. You have a long road ahead, and maybe some of the purging will help with your mental clarity and offer another fresh start in the beautiful new home you'll be in one day in the (hopefully) not too distant future. x
DeleteOh my goodness Ive done it. Managed my settings for comments.. there is a lot of backpack reduction going on right now for me, and of course it’s like that in life isn’t it? What worked some years or month ago might not now. I’m doing a lot of reflecting on what’s important to me now after the year of not doing well after trauma. The other items that are in my backpack now are there as reminders to remember what I need to do and believe as I continue my recovery. Great notion - the backpack! Denyse x
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse and YAY! for getting your name and photo back up for commenting. And yes, you're so right - different approaches to the backpack at different life stages definitely apply. I think about what I was carrying in my 40's vs my 50's vs my 60's - all so different and some I've kept, and some I've been working hard at discarding. Trauma and toxicity also load us up and require an unpacking at some point to make room for the more joyful stuff. x
DeleteHi Leanne - I had never heard about this theory. Very nice way of putting it all together. I liked this: ... Happiness is not about what you carry, but how easy it is to move about. Makes a lot of sense.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I am carrying less; but I definitely it's easier for me to move around now (after retirement than before retirement).
My commitments are now more to myself than to others. That's making a huge difference.
Hi Pradeep - I completely agree about it being easier to move what we carry now we have more time and headspace. I think retirement also gives us time to pause and unpack every so often when the load feels heavier than it should - and to see if we're carrying around anything that it's time to put down.
DeleteHi Leanne, I love this idea! Having retired in the past year I’m going through lots of changes in a lot of areas in my life. I no longer have to be the ‘work’ me, I can choose what I want to wear every day, who I spend my time with etc. I’m working on sorting out the backpack as I know I carry a lot of my past there and it’s time to let some of it go. Here’s to the present and the future!
ReplyDeleteHi! Retirement has been exactly the same for me - every now and then I pause and look back on who I was and what I was carrying during some of my work iterations and I am SO beyond grateful to be where I am, doing what I choose to do - and wearing what I choose to wear. I've rifled through my backpack many times over the last few years and it's definitely getting lighter as I slowly feel safe enough to discard some of my 'protection' mechanisms. Welcome to the retired life! :)
DeleteLove the idea of getting rid of the packpack. I call it decluttering but like your imagery better. I spend some time every day emptying my backpack with the goal of finally having a teeny tiny backpack, light as a feather. My heart would be lighter, my laugh would be louder, my space would be larger.
ReplyDeleteOh Judith you said that last part perfectly - and I think you are already getting there. I feel like I am too. I feel so much less stressed and burdened these days - so when a worry pops into my brain, I recognize it and deal with it, rather than letting it fester and add weight to my lighter, brighter backpack. :)
DeleteLeanne,
ReplyDeleteGreat post and great analogy...I thin as we age our "backpack' gets lighter as we do learn that we do not need to pack as much....Especially in retirement. I think life is much simpler in retirement....Thanks so much for sharing!!
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
Hi Debbie - I've noticed how much my life has simplified over the last few years too. It's so nice to discard some of the unnecessary weight I carried around - all those worries, responsibilities, and expectations. It's definitely lighter and easier these days and I'm glad you're finding the same thing too. :)
DeleteI love your description of your current backpack, Leanne. I too feel like my load is lighter these days. I wouldn't want to throw out my backpack entirely, but I do love rearranging it on occasion.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - I don't think I'll ever discard mine completely either - and we still need somewhere to carry our love, joy, and hope don't we? I like that I have more room for those now days. :)
Delete