Saturday, 3 January 2015

my word for 2015 ~ 'release'

my word for 2015 is release - learning to let go of what is not mine.

After giving it a bit of thought, I have decided that my word for 2015 will be 'release'. I thought about 'detach' but (as my good husband advised), 'release' has more positive connotations and it can be applied to most situations that I find myself getting overly embroiled in.

It has been a real learning curve for me to back away from other people's choices and not share my sage advice and wisdom where it is not asked for. It was particularly difficult when our daughter married a man with very different world views to ours. She and I had always been very close and I felt discarded and excluded, but I realized this was because she was moving on with her life and making big changes and finding someone else to share all this with. The hurt was quite palpable but I found the "not my circus, not my monkeys" quote and it gave me something to hang onto when they made choices that I may not have agreed with.

So, in honour of my new word, here are a few areas I can apply it to for starters:

#1 I need to release our grown up children to make their own decisions and possibly, mistakes. Our goal was to make them independent and we have succeeded well in that area. They have good careers, stable marriages and busy lives and I need to back off and allow them their freedom. 

#2 I need to release myself from the people/friends who I am hurt by or who I am outgrowing. I can do this gently and not pursue contact and gradually disengage them from my life. It doesn't need to be a break or upset - just a gentle pulling away.

#3 I need to release my husband from my constant reminding that he needs to find some stable work for 2015. He is well aware or this and my niggling doesn't help. It might make me feel better but it certainly doesn't help him or our marriage.

#4 I need to release myself from worrying about everything: my kids, our income, my marriage, the future and so it goes on. I know that worrying doesn't change anything so I will remind myself to let it go and wait and see what happens. Life is constantly in flux so things will change with or without me worrying about it all.

#5 I need to release myself from comparing my life and family with the updates on facebook and elsewhere. I need to remember that people are only sharing the highlights and I'm doing fine too - so I'll let them have their moment of glory and focus on my own happy moments.

So there is my pledge to myself for 2015 - I'm sure others have "word"s for their year ahead too.

****to remind me of this throughout the year I've splashed out on a bangle****


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