When you've been married for a very long time you come to realize how important it is to invest in the person who you have made a life long vow to. It's so easy to take each other for granted and to not show appreciation. It's also easy to make "funny" comments about the other person that can be hurtful or unhelpful.
My husband never reads my blog - well, he may have once or twice when I suggested he have a look! He's not particularly bothered about what I put in here because he knows that I wouldn't be using it as a tool to slag off at him or at our marriage. In the past there would have been times when we made jokes at the other's expense, but as time goes on, we are finding that we are kinder to each other and we don't need that aspect of humour in our lives. Mocking other people just isn't as funny as I used to think it was.
If you don't have your husband's back and he doesn't have yours, then there is no safe place to fall. There is nowhere to go when your feelings are hurt or when someone is mean spirited or using you as comic relief. I'm sure other couples can use this type of humour and bounce off each other and not have any problem with it at all, but I am just finding that it is too negative and I really need to be built up and not torn down at this stage of life - and the least I can do is show the same courtesy to my husband who I love more than anyone else.
On a final note, here is a song from Toby Mac that resonates with me on this subject: