THE INVISIBLE WOMAN RE-VISITED

#midlife blog crestingthehill.com.au

WHEN YOUR PERSPECTIVE CHANGES

A while ago I wrote a post about the phenomenon that is the "invisible" middle aged woman. It was something that I had been feeling at the time - before I started connecting with all the fabulous Midlife women bloggers who've slowly but surely begun to change a lot of the assumptions I'd been making about life in my fifties.

Reading back over that post showed me just how much my perspective has changed over the last six months or so. I mentioned in there that I felt it would be hard competing with young attractive women when it came to looking for a new job. I couldn't have been more wrong! I found out (once I took the risk and put myself out there) that experience and confidence is just as attractive to a would-be employer as youth and vitality. In fact, a lot of employers prefer a well presented older woman because we are reliable and have a great work ethic.

CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE

I've also come to realize that being seen has a lot to do with the face you present to the world. I don't mean that we get seen more if we are dolled up and made up, I mean our attitude and how it reflects from our face is what makes all the difference. If we are happy and positive and living life with zest then that shows and it's attractive to other people and we aren't invisible. Bright, sparkly people attract notice and people want to help you in a store because you look like someone who would be pleasant and easy to deal with. Grumpy faced, miserable middle aged women are ignored (and maybe rightly so!)


I love that life has taken me on a journey of discovery that is moving me forward and making me less "invisible". I'm working on my attitude towards myself and towards others. I'm taking time to appreciate the qualities I have to offer and also finding so much in life to be grateful for and that makes all the difference in the world.

SHINE YOUR LIGHT

Having a face that shines sunbeams and looks lovely is certainly something I aspire to and it is the antidote to the invisible woman phenomenon. If all midlife women took the time to speak life and light into the world we could change the whole perception of how others see us and the idea of being invisible wouldn't cross our minds. What a challenge!

WHAT ABOUT YOU? 

Are you feeling invisible in Midlife? Are you fading into the wallpaper? Maybe it's time to look up, make eye contact, smile and engage with the people around you. You'd be amazed at how quickly you'll become visible again. You are so much more than you think you are!


JUST A FINAL NOTE:
I've turned off the comments on my blog posts, but still love to hear from you. You can leave a comment on my Cresting the Hill Facebook page - or you can email me at: leanne.crestingthehill@gmail.com
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Cresting the Hill - a blog for Midlife (Middle Aged / 50+) women who want to thrive

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38 comments

  1. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond13 November 2015 at 18:17

    I'm with you Leanne we can change the perspective of midlife. A great post and I have personally seen the change in you since I first met you in cyberspace. Proud of you and proud to call you my friend 😍

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    1. Leanne13 November 2015 at 19:01

      thanks so much Sue - I think it definitely comes down to choosing your perspective on life and finding the good stuff in this "getting older" business - it has a lot of excellent side benefit (including making some lovely friends!!)

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  2. Unknown13 November 2015 at 18:26

    It's wonderful to hear you have had this change of perspective. I'm also glad to hear that you found your experience an asset in job hunting. Great post! #fridayreflections

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    1. Leanne13 November 2015 at 19:02

      thanks so much - there is no point in being a sad sack with life - things get better when you take a positive outlook on things :)

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  3. Corinne Rodrigues13 November 2015 at 18:54

    Now that I'm fifty, I can't imagine what all the fuss about growing older is all about, Leanne. I'm truly having the best time of my life. I guess it all comes down to attitude, doesn't it? And you've got a great one!
    PS: How does one subscribe for posts on your blog?

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    1. Leanne13 November 2015 at 19:04

      I agree Corinne - this 50+ stage of life is way better than I'd been led to believe! In answer to your PS - I don't have a subscribers list because I've never gotten around to it. Just bookmark my blog and check in every so often :) I'm planning on cutting back to Mon, Wed, Fri blogging days in the near future to get me away from my computer!!

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  4. Grace Grits and Gardening13 November 2015 at 21:56

    Great post. I feel like I wasn't visible until after age 50.

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    1. Leanne13 November 2015 at 22:07

      I noticed it in my 40's Talya but once I got my head around it, it has stopped being an issue :)

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  5. Middle-aged Diva (Carol)13 November 2015 at 21:58

    I never bought the invisibility thing ... it's all in how you present t o the world, you're right!
    Carol Cassara

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    1. Leanne13 November 2015 at 22:08

      I agree Carol once you get that into your head and start living intentionally and with a positive, happy outlook then you never go unnoticed - no matter how old you are.

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  6. Unknown13 November 2015 at 22:08

    the older I get the more I find I may be invisible to those whom I DO DO NOT NOT want to see me anyway.

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 09:08

      that's a point Carla - it's nice to not be noticed by the sort of people who judge purely on appearances :)

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  7. Jennifer13 November 2015 at 23:58

    You're absolutley right! I've written on invisiblity several times from the image perspective. We should never compete with younger women, the poor gals don't have a chance against a positive, confident, experienced woman :)

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 09:08

      Yes we have a lot to offer Jennifer - a confident older woman can run circles around a ditzy young thing :)

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  8. Rena14 November 2015 at 01:07

    What a lovely thought. I know I have been practicing smiling at everyone and it has opened so many doors and started so many conversations that simply would not have been.

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 09:09

      I think we all prefer to deal with happy, smiley people Rena - so we get to reap the benefits if we choose to be one of those sort of smilers :)

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  9. Mary K.14 November 2015 at 01:10

    Leanne I love that quote! I always try to live my life that way and in the end things have turned around for me. Otherwie how could I have a blog if I had no prositive thoughts, the work would kill me...lol

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 09:10

      that's so true Mary - blogging either makes you or breaks you (depending on how you go about it and how positive you are!) Luckily it's "making" us!

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  10. Diane Stringam Tolley14 November 2015 at 05:15

    As I've aged, I've realized that I get to choose my perspective. I'm no longer in high school and really don't care how others see me. As long as I can still see - and like - myself.

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 09:12

      I would never go back to those high school judgmental days Di - it's nice to choose who you value and who you want to be seen by (and those people don't judge!)

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  11. Unknown14 November 2015 at 06:27

    Invisible no. I am learning a lot lately on how to be myself and shine to share with others what I have and how I did it.

    Great post.

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 09:14

      me too Sandy - it's a great stage to be at isn't it? I'll have to pop over and check out your blog :)

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  12. Unknown14 November 2015 at 10:48

    I wouldn't go back to being my 20-30 something self for any amount of money! I actually feel sorry for some of the women I see today who are trying to hard--in all the wrong ways--tugging at their skirts to make sure they're at least partially covered, and so many of them are looking around to see if anyone's looking at them. Very sad. I love the confident, know exactly who I am "ME!"

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 16:07

      I don't envy them either Brenda - it's all so appearance focused now and true beauty is missed. I love seeing a woman comfortable in her own skin and secure in where life has taken her - give me that any day!

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  13. Unknown14 November 2015 at 12:00

    Amen and amen! :) If we have a smile and a great attitude, we have what we need to change the world (at least our little corner of it!), no matter our age! You go, Leanne!

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 16:08

      thanks Wendy - challenge accepted! :) I think we are all part of the brigade who are making a stand for midlife being a wonderful stage to be in.

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  14. Alexandra S14 November 2015 at 13:41

    I really love that quote! And the throwback to Barney Stinson! A good smile goes a long way :)

    Thanks for linking up! #FridayFrivolity

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 16:09

      Nothing like a bit of Barney to keep the smile on our faces Alexandra! Thanks for hosting and having such a fun link up!

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  15. Unknown14 November 2015 at 13:55

    Great idea to not only revisit old posts but our old attitudes. Yes the thought of the invisible middle aged woman is scary. I'm trying to stay very visible!

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    1. Leanne14 November 2015 at 16:10

      I am surprised at how connecting with other midlife women in the blogosphere has changed my outlook on this stage of life Rosemond - we're louder and prouder than we once were :)

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  16. Kathleen14 November 2015 at 18:08

    Your right Leanne, we learn so much off each other in the blogosphere. What an awesome bunch of friends we have.
    Kathleen
    Fridays Blog Booster Party #32

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    1. Leanne15 November 2015 at 13:04

      we are indeed awesome Kathleen :) and you can't be invisible if you're awesome!

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  17. Susan 15 November 2015 at 02:09

    I admire the way your perspective has evoloved Leanne ... smiling as I read this!

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    1. Leanne15 November 2015 at 13:04

      thanks Susan - it's a rewarding journey :)

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  18. Haralee15 November 2015 at 05:03

    We call it high responders with babies that smile and look at you and engage so why not we middle age women too! Great thoughts!

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    1. Leanne15 November 2015 at 13:05

      I like the idea of being a high responder - engaging with people is the antidote to invisibility.

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  19. Anonymous15 November 2015 at 13:29

    I love this post and couldn't agree more, we naturally want to be around and work around positive people with happy faces, whether we are conscious of it or not we just naturally seek out people who shine. And it isn't about age or looks, but about that inner glow that radiates through us. Great post lovely lady. #Fridayreflections

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  20. Sarah Eliza @ devastateboredom19 November 2015 at 04:39

    Thank you for sharing such an encouraging post! I think this is so true and relevant for women of all ages. Excited for you and your realization. Best of luck in your journey from here!

    Found you via Friday Frivolity. :)

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Thanks so much for your comment - it's where the connection begins.

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