HOW TO FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE

None of us get to determine what life events are in store for us (good or bad) but we do get to choose how we react or respond to them. I'm choosing positivity and gratitude. #midlife #happiness

ARE YOU LIVING IN YOUR HAPPY PLACE?

Now I've passed the 50 year life marker I'm appreciating that I'm in the second half of life. I have less years left to live than those that have already passed. That thought can be a depressing one, or it can be a wake up call to appreciate every day I'm blessed with between now and when I go to meet my Maker. I may have another 50 years, 50 months or 50 minutes left - nothing is guaranteed, and because nothing is certain, I want to make the best of this second half of life.

First priority for me is to be grateful for all that I have, to appreciate all that life is offering, and to find my happy place - that doesn't mean that I expect every moment of the next however-many-years to be all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, but I do expect that a lot of my contentment and happiness is dependent on the attitude I choose in response to what comes along in my life. None of us get to determine what life events are in store for us (good or bad) but we do get to choose how we react or respond to them. I'm choosing positivity and gratitude.

DON'T BE A RAINCLOUD

I've noticed that there are some people who always manage to find the cloud in the silver liningThey focus on their negatives - and there will always be negatives if we look hard enough - and they talk about them endlessly. No-one's life is perfect and as we get older there'll be health issues, finances, family, and goodness knows what else where things can go wrong. But being a doom and gloomer doesn't change those not-so-great events, it just magnifies them. The more we talk about how awful something is, the more awful it seems to become. 

And don't get me started on those people who need to turn everything into a drama, they see themselves as the central player in a life that lurches from one disaster to the next. They're never happy because they're too busy over-reacting to any small crisis life sends their way. These people can't be helped, they're too wrapped up in their issues and problems to be able to look beyond the upsets and find the bigger picture. They miss the joy and the simple pleasures because they're drowning in their own dramatics - and that's a very sad way to live.


LEARN TO APPRECIATE LIFE 

So often we're looking for the next big thing, the next life change, the next adventure, the next "moment". It's time to stop looking for what we don't have, and time to start appreciating all that is in our lives right now. When I left my horrible job behind, I went into recovery mode and in no time at all started thinking "okay - what's next?" I was so busy thinking about what needed to happen for me to feel productive that a I forgot to pay attention to how I was actually feeling right then and there.

The truth is, racing off to find a new job - any job - would not have been the right move for me to make. I couldn't see that though, I was so caught up in the idea that I needed to be "doing" and almost sold my soul to the first bidder. I'm so glad that there weren't many jobs on offer, that I had time to slow down and to look at where I was and to realize that I LOVED not working for the first time in decades, that I was in my happy place just being at home and doing things in my own time and not answering to anyone. I had actually become quietly content and happy without noticing it creep up on me.

HAPPINESS MEANS EMBRACING WHAT LIFE GIVES YOU

There are so many discontented people out there, so much soul searching and agonizing over whether or not they've achieved their life purpose. In the process of chasing after life's unicorns and rainbows (that may not even exist) they miss the lovely moments life is handing to them every day. When you stop chasing after butterflies, you have time to slow down and look around you - life is pretty good right here and now - even without those unicorns! By all means, keep looking for those new opportunities, but don't forget to enjoy all the good in your life in the present moment.


I love the quote above from Cecilia Mar - it sums up the whole point doesn't it? We need to stop complicating our lives chasing after huge unmet expectations and embrace the journey. Appreciate what we have - strive for more if you want to go bigger and better, but don't lose sight of the fact that life is pretty darn good as it is right now. We have so many joys, so many blessings, so many people who love us, so many lovely little moments right here and now - let's remember to take time to smell our roses and be happy while we wait for the next life event to come our way.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Have you reached the point in life where you're living in your happy place? Are you in the happiness zone or are you waiting for life to bring the unicorn of happiness to your door? Do you think we make life too complicated and get robbed of happiness in the process?

RELATED POSTS


None of us get to determine what life events are in store for us (good or bad) but we do get to choose how we react or respond to them. I'm choosing positivity and gratitude. #midlife #happiness
None of us get to determine what life events are in store for us (good or bad) but we do get to choose how we react or respond to them. I'm choosing positivity and gratitude. #midlife #happiness

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Cresting the Hill - a blog for Midlife (Middle Aged / 50+) women who want to thrive

36 comments

  1. OMG yes, the cloud in the silver lining people - or the ones that enjoy laughing at the misfortune of others, excusing it by saying 'it's a joke'... As for happy place? Yeah, I think I've found it...

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    1. I've found mine too Jo - and YES! Those people who make jokes at the expense of others - just horrible people IMHO. And don't get me started on those who just suck the joy out of everything - such a sad way to live.

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  2. Hi, Leanne - I completely agree that embracing what life has given you is the ultimate secret to happiness. Hanging out with people who appreciate the silver-lining also makes all of the difference in the world.

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    1. You're so right about how important it is to surround ourselves with positive people Donna - when you're in contact with doom and gloomers all day it drags you down to their level and it takes a huge effort to pull yourself back out again.

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  3. Hi Leanne, Thanks for sharing your blog from our FB group. I am over 50 just turned 52 to be exact and I am living in my happy place and space. Life has not been a breeze but, I am very good at setting my focus on the positive. I am looking forward to exploring more of Cresting the Hill and getting to know you. Thank you! Dana from Graceandgravel.com

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    1. Hi Dana - it was lovely to see you on the FB group and I do hope you'll be back on a Wednesday if you have a post to share that fits the guidelines. I love the community I'm a part of and blogging has played a huge part in getting me to my happy place and helping me to enjoy this fantastic stage of life.

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  4. I hear you Leanne! I am definitely in my happy place at the moment. You sound very happy and content - a wonderful way to be :)

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    1. I think we're both doing well in our lives atm Deb - it's all about counting your blessings and choosing your attitude isn't it? x

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  5. Nice post. I think life is very complicated for some people but if only for stress releif and sanity, you need to find those pockets of happiness or joy just for stress releif and balance.

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    1. I agree Lydia - we all have seasons of life where things just suck (been there and done that for the last 3 years) and I think we need to hunt out the happy bits and enjoy them, and also look at the choices we can make to swing things in that direction more often. Being sad, stressed and miserable is a horrible way to live.

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  6. Its taken me a while to get to my happy place but I think I am there. Im now in my 60's...eeek 65 next birthday. I avoid those who are drama queens....we have some at the op shop I volunteer at and at darts but I remove myself from them and do my own thing. Its funny I now look at my phone and avoid eye contact with them. I hate the "its all about me" "I'm a victim in this"...I say your only a victim because you want to be. I have too much other stuff in my life to waste listening to their rubbish. I love the positive posts from you xx

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    1. Thanks for your lovely words Bree - and yes I know EXACTLY what you mean about drama queens and their need to be the centre of attention and to wallow in their own created dramatics. After dealing with someone like that for a few years and thinking they were going to drown me, I now realize that looking away and moving out of their orbit is the best self protection - give them an inch and they take a mile (and a half!)

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  7. I really enjoyed reading this Leanne. I’m definitely living in the happiness zone. I made a few life decisions in my late fifties to make sure I could get there. I also made the decision not to surround myself with negative people. #MLSTL Shared

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    1. I'm so glad you're living happily too Jennifer - I can see that when I read your posts. I think we all have times when life is a bit wearing, but those are little bumps in the road if you're making the right decisions and associating with the right kind of people. We hit a bump, navigate it and then go merrily on our way again.

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  8. Leaming to do more "being" than continue more "doing" is the challenge in my later years. However, I sure have wound down from the ever-moving person getting from this task to the next...then I could relax! No, the last few years in retirement and cancer recovery have told me "nothing is that important" it can't wait and to factor in down time. My life is going much better as a result with greater appreciation for all I have and do. A most thoughtful post. Thank you Leanne too for the Link up each week with Sue. Denyse #mlstl

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    1. Hi Denyse, I've taken a long time to stop "doing" and to stop trying to earn my place in the world. When you live like that you're constantly putting your happiness in other people's hands. Now I'm finding that my happiness is centred more within myself and I can let go and "be" myself more and do what feels good rather than just what I felt obligated to do.
      It's a shame it took cancer for you to get there (and a sucky job for me!) but it's nice to finally have arrived at a happy place isn't it?

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  9. Hi Leanne - A positive attitude makes a big difference. I'm in my happy place and appreciate each day is a gift. #MLSTL

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    1. I'm so glad Natalie - and yes, choosing our attitude is a bit part of the equation - along with choosing how you respond to the stuff that comes our way.

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  10. So very lovely and true. I have been working on trying to be a faucet and not a drain on people. A great post that I needed today. Thanks for sharing it. #MLSTL

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    1. Hi Patrick - yes, I like the idea of being a faucet that pours refreshment on others - rather than the drain sucking all the goodness and happiness out of their day!

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  11. I love the Martha Washington quote too, Leanne: "I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition and not our circumstances."
    We're here for such a short time... let's be happy and positive and caring! Great post!

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    1. I agree Agnes - life is short and as much as we try to close our eyes to that fact, I just don't want to waste too much of it being sad, sour or miserable company. A lot of our happiness is definitely affected by the attitude we take to our life's circumstances - I choose to be positive now whenever possible.

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  12. I agree! Life races by far too quickly. One minute we're in our 30's with young kids. Next thing you know you're i your 50's and the kids are grown. There is no sense in thinking that happiness with come when....(insert whatever). We have to learn to be happy in the now and that comes by practising gratitude, knowing ourselves well, and applying self-care accordingly when needed. I avoid those people with the negative attitudes and that thrive on drama. I don't need those vibes. I want my remaining days to be drama free and as happy as possible. xo

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    1. I want exactly the same thing for my remaining days too Min. I spent way too much time marching to everyone else's drumbeat, and trying to keep them happy so I could be happy. Now I'm letting other people choose their attitudes and responses and focusing on my own little corner of the world. It's a very pleasant way to live!

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  13. Thank you for this post, Leanne. It describes perfectly the journey that I am on, finding my balance between striving for growth and appreciating, living in, the moment. I do believe that many of us make life more complicated than it needs to be and in the process rob ourselves of the simple joys. Life really is lived moment to moment in the small ordinary actions and interactions of each day. I am happy much of the time, and when I'm not, well I'm working on accepting that all emotions are part of life's experience. Of course, if there are things that need to change to make your life better, then by all means, change them, but also realize that sometimes humans are sad or fearful or angry, and that's part of the normal ebb and flow. Thanks again for a thought-provoking post. Have a beautiful week. #MLSTL

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    1. Hi Christie, you're so right about the ebb and flow of the seasons of life. We can't be happy every moment of every day, but we can certainly choose our response to what life throws at us. There are times when sadness is the only response, but there are also a lot of times when we can walk away from the nastiness and dramatics and close our door on those who bring it with them.
      My life and my responsibility is how I'm looking at things these days - other people make their own choices and I just can't fix them or jolly every sad sack I meet. It's a huge load off when you stop trying to keep everyone else happy and just get on with making the best of what life deals you. :)

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  14. Such a beautiful post and so well said. Living in the moment is so key and not looking forward to the next big event or stage of life.

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    1. It's a hard won lesson for me Amy - along with trying not to look back with regret, or to over-think or worry about too much. I'm getting better at it all and I'm quite proud of myself when I realize I've let something go and not held onto it for grim death!

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  15. I find gratitude in each and every day. Pinned and reshared this post. Visiting from #MLSTL.

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    1. Hi Nancy - gratitude is such a big part of living a happy life. The more we focus on what we have, rather than on what we don't, the lighter and easier life seems.

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  16. Thanks for your reply to me. Yes, we learned the hard ways to let go and let be! Denyse #mlstl

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    1. I think we'll always be works in progress Denyse - it takes a lot to undo six or more decades of ingrained habits!

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  17. Hi Leanne, wise words to live by! I'm a goal setter by nature so tend to want to be working toward achieving something, and it's not a bad quality to have as long as I keep things...life...in perspective. Now that I'm in my 6th decade I agree totally with you. We only have today. Love it, appreciate it, and be grateful. shared on SM

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    1. Hi Candi - I think the fact that life is half over has really opened my eyes to what's important, and not wasting too much time on obligations and recriminations that aren't mine to bear. There's always balance, we can't throw our hands up in the air and go and live on a mountain top, but we can seek happiness and appreciate it when we find it xx

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  18. Hi Leanne,
    I think I have found a happy place, but as you rightly point out it is not rainbows and unicorns all the time. We all have our struggles. But my biggest realization is that I don't have to (or should) control everything but accept things as they come. I'm also learning to be better at forgiving myself as well as others. That is going a long way towards finding that sweet spot of contentment.
    #MLSTL

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    1. Letting go has been a huge lesson for me - I was always trying so hard to have everything perfectly in place and for everyone else to be happy. It was an impossible task and set me up for failure time and time again. Now I'm finding that I don't need to take that responsibility on and it's been such a lightening of my load. And you're so right about forgiveness - and I love that you include yourself in that too!

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