WHOLEHEARTED LIVING - CULTIVATING A POSITIVE MINDSET

To have a more positive mindset, you need to change things and one of those things is your inner voice. It's time to lose those self-limiting beliefs.

INTRO

Brene Brown's writing about Wholehearted Living and cultivating positives in our life is the inspiration behind my #WOTY "Cultivate" and I'm delighted to introduce my first guest blogger for the year who's sharing what she's cultivating in her life. Pat writes very thoughtful and well-researched posts on her blog Retirement Transition and she's sharing some of her story today about how she's progressing in her journey of getting to know herself and her strengths.

On that note, I'll hand you over to Pat....

CULTIVATING A POSITIVE MINDSET

I made a choice when I retired to become a more positive person. My critical-thinking, glass-half-full, worse case scenario, always-point-out-what's-wrong behaviors didn't make me a fun person to be around. Being more optimistic is a choice and there are many things you can do to cultivate a more positive mindset. I thought I would share a few that seemed to work for me.

UNEARTHING MY SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS

I recognized that to have a more positive mindset, I needed to change things and one of those things was my inner voice. So I started with what I believed about myself, what I thought was my “truth”. It was all about getting my deep (and very critical) inner voice out on paper.

Awareness is the greatest agent for change. Eckhart Tolle

Articulating deeply held beliefs is a deep dive into knowing yourself. Honesty is key.

I began many of mine with “I believe”. At first, I just kept listing them. They didn't always make perfect sense, but I filled 2 pages, as on many I expounded on the feelings these beliefs created, when I noticed them, why I thought they were true, what value they brought. I tried not to be judgmental and many of them were negative – I did mention my inner vice was highly critical! Yes, my love of writing was having a field day. A few of mine were:

I believe I’m not a good friend.

I believe I can do most things better than other people.

I believe my work success was pure luck.

I believe I’m a failure for not following life’s expected paths.

I believe I am not athletic.

I believe I am not ambitious enough… and therefore a failure.

I believe I have not suffered enough in life.

I believe I am not creative.


Then I added in things I didn't like about myself – everything from hating parts of my body to being to too judgmental (ironic as almost everything I was writing was judgmental!) And I added fears that regularly caused me stress – making mistakes, exploring on my own, feeling like I do not belong, not having a plan. Yes, this was an exhaustive list - revealing my innermost thoughts, beliefs, and fears.

If you’re struggling with what your own self-limiting beliefs or deep-seated fears are, some of my recent Enneagram insight work might help. Although it didn't reveal much new for me (I had unearthed most with the deep dive work I had done), I was amazed at how well my Enneagram exploration articulated some of my deep beliefs.

Then, for each and every item, I wrote a “rebuttal”. Would my friends agree? When was this not true? What real life experiences prove that these mental constructs are false? Why do I want this to change – what positive will come out of that change?

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. Wayne W. Dyer

CHANGING REBUTTALS INTO AFFIRMATIONS

I turned many of these rebuttals into affirmations, shifting self-limiting beliefs into self-empowering statements. I read these affirming statements regularly. Sometimes I just said to myself, “I choose not to believe this anymore. Let it go. It is just not true.”

I started to become more aware of my moments of Compare & Despair – comparing my “behind the scenes life” with other people’s “highlight reel”. I created a list of what I have successfully done since I retired to celebrate what I had changed/ accomplished, even if some were “I am working on” statements. I realized that I was hearing expectations that were not really there and expecting everyone (me!) to be on the same (“right”) retirement path versus the truth that everyone’s path is unique.

I switched from believing I needed to master any new skill to feeling a sense of satisfaction in the engagement. I accepted I am where/who I am because of the past, including the “bad things” or “wrong choices”. I choose to practice gratitude daily.

Have I completely released all these deeply held limiting beliefs? No, not yet. But the affirmations and awareness have made a significant shift in my Positive Mindset!

WRITING MY RESENTMENT STORY

As I was working on a more positive mindset, I continuously ran into a strong resentment. Last year, I had identified the critical release resentment steps:

Face it – Write down what happened to cause resentment, get the details, be honest, it does not need to “make sense”!

Feel it – How did it make you feel then and now, how did it impact your life – your identity, your feeling of worth, your fears, your dreams, your behaviors, your relationships.

Deal with it - Recognize the injustice. Show compassion towards the individuals involved. Recognize that they most likely did their best or were dealing with their own issues.

Accept it - Recognize you cannot change the past. You could not control the other person’s actions. Acknowledge if there is anything about the situation that helped you in life.

Choose to release the resentment. Articulate your forgiveness. And forgive yourself – for holding onto the resentment! “It is what it is.”

My resentment surfaced repeatedly and it took me months to finally address it. I finally crafted “My Resentment Story” and was surprised that the resentment feelings really were diminished as I wrote it all out!

PUTTING POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY INTO PLACE

Positive Psychology is not just the absence of negative (release of self-limiting beliefs or release of resentment), it is cultivating & nurturing of the positive.

I’ve blogged about all 11 positivity practices, but wanted to point out a few that I believe have really made a difference in my cultivating a positive mindset this past year:

Practice Daily Gratitude: Every day I write down 3 things I am grateful for. I try to be detailed and often this notation reminds me to express appreciation to others for their part in creating the grateful moment.

Intentional Social Connections: Focusing on connection has been important this year as our “COVID bubble” is just the two of us.

Exercise: I am not an exercise junkie by any means, but I try most days to just move, whether that is yoga, stretching, a beach walk, Zumba or a bike ride.

Activate Strengths: This practice is a newer one to me. Designing my life to use my strengths more required me to do a deep dive on what my strengths were and how I could use them without a return to “work”.

So there are three of the things I have found that really worked for Cultivating a Positive Mindset - Unearthing My Self-Limiting Beliefs, Writing my Resentment Story, and Putting Positive Psychology into Practice. Hopefully you can find something to help you cultivate your own positive mindset.

 A Little More About Pat:

In July 2014, I retired from a 30+ year corporate career with one company. This timing was a few years earlier than planned, as a highly attractive, early retirement package was offered. Given the timing and my work-focused life style, I did not have a plan in place for what came next. As an early retiree and no wish for a second career, I needed to figure out what retirement was all about. The days after the retirement moment became a journey of learning about transition, a journey I am still on.
Part of my transition was discovering what I wanted to do. I uncovered a desire to write, a love of research & synthesis, and a realization that I liked to advise/teach others. This all merged into creation of my Retirement Transition blog and then my book, also called Retirement Transition. Available online at Amazon, link HERE
I currently live in the USA Mid-west (Cincinnati) with my also-retired husband and our Lab-mix dog, Taylor. We are working to move permanently to our second home in Florida, something I would never have imagined when we first retired. After blogging for 5+ years, I continue to love the connections with other bloggers on similar transition journeys from full-time career to what comes next here in “mid-life”. I continually learn from others – through their blogs and comments. 


To have a more positive mindset, you need to change things and one of those things is your inner voice. It's time to lose those self-limiting beliefs.

To have a more positive mindset, you need to change things and one of those things is your inner voice. It's time to lose those self-limiting beliefs.
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Cresting the Hill - a blog for Midlife (Middle Aged / 50+) women who want to thrive

74 comments

  1. So very true. Something that I fight everyday. Thanks for sharing this.

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    1. I agree it's an everyday thing! Some days are a bit easier, some days are a bit harder. I heard the term "recovering pessimist" the other day and thought - you, that's me! Thanks for commenting.

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    2. Hi Patrick - it's definitely a choice - and I've seen the end results of people who choose to be wet blankets - it never ends well. Positive people on the other hand seem to attract others without any problem at all.

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  2. Thanks Pat, this really is a lot to think about. It's also an exercise that would be incredibly valuable. One thing I'm trying to focus more on this year is intentional connections & daily gratitude. A perfect start, Leanne, to your word of the year theme posts.

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    1. Hey Jo. I've gotten into the habit of writing down every morning three things from the day before that I'm grateful for. I even created a mini-calendar to fill in the boxes. I also read lots of other blogger's gratitude posts, which help me see other things in my life I am grateful for...and I'll steal their gratitudes and reapply! I do believe it helps keep me more positive.

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    2. I think gratitude is the key to finding joy in our lives Jo. As soon as we start seeing all the little bits of good, our spirits lift and life looks brighter. The hymn - "count your many blessings, name them one by one" comes from 1897 - so obviously there's nothing new under the sun - but still lots we can learn.

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  3. Thanks Pat, I always enjoy your well researched and informative posts. To me a positive mindset is so important in every area of our life. For me keeping fit and active is a large part of staying positive. If I haven't been for a run, or moved in some way I can feel life getting on top of me. Great start to your guest series Leanne. xx

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    1. Sue, You are so right - Being active is definitely one of the 11 positivity practices! I know that I feel better when I've been moving.

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    2. Hi Sue - your active and super healthy lifestyle inspires me beyond words. If I could find a way to love exercise like you do, my life would be complete! In the meantime I'll focus on "move it or lose it" and keeping an eye on what challenge you're tackling next!

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  4. I enjoyed this post very much, Pat. I agree with you - developing a positive mindset is a choice. You didn't just decide to become a more positive person, you took detailed and well-thought-out steps to achieve your goal. Thanks for introducing us to Pat, Leanne!

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    1. I had a bit of a chuckle. Leanne and I often chat about how I'm such a goal setter, planner, and check-list maker.... and she's not really. It was a choice and continues to be a choice. And somedays a challenging choice.

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    2. Hi Laurie - Pat is so much more intentional about how she goes about things - and it pays off big time. I slowly meander in the same direction (and steal bits of her research and knowledge to help me along the way). I think we're both big advocates of positivity and being proactive - and that's why I find her writing so interesting.

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  5. Wow Pat - what a fabulous idea! Confronting but fabulous. If I were to list all the self limiting beliefs I say to myself in my head and what I don't like about myself I'm afraid it would be a very, very long list. I do believe these things have caused me self-sabotage my entire life and still to this day. I've been doing a lot for self-development over recent years but those deep rooted thoughts within me are still there. You've really got me thinking now! Thanks for sharing with us, and thanks Leanne for hosting. xo

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    1. Min, If you've never explored Enneagram, it might help you get to some of those deep-rooted thoughts. And yes, my list was also very long - I only put a handful in this post for examples. I'm working on many of my full list still, but some are reduced. It a bit of "I used to believe X, but I know it's not really true". I've also realized that I'm terrified to let go of a few of my deep-rooted limiting beliefs... they are so much part of my identity!

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    2. Hi Min - it's definitely a Midlife woman thing to have questioned ourselves all our lives - and to have the negative committee in our head competing for who's going to tell us the latest way we failed! I'm working hard at letting the cheer squad in - reminding myself of the good stuff and the achievements and trying to drown out all that "could have, should have, would have" noise in the background. I think a lot of us are works in progress. x

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  6. Leanne, Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to chat with your readers. This is a topic I have a lot of personal passion for - choosing to be positive and the self development that it requires. As I mentioned above, I heard the term "recovering pessimist" recently and felt, that's me! One day at a time!

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    1. Hi Pat - it's an absolute pleasure having you here and sharing your wisdom. I think so many of us can relate to the self doubt and those niggling little thoughts about how inadequate we are. I love that Midlife has given us the opportunity to work on some of those areas - and blogging allows us to learn from each other - win/win!

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  7. I can relate to a lot of the points Pat makes and really like the idea of doing a rebuttal. I often try logic when my thinking gets out of control, asking myself if something I'm thinking is REALLY true and often it isn't.

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    1. Hi Deb - I think becoming conscious of what our minds are saying to us is the beginning of the process. For so long I just had that constant reel of negative beliefs playing on repeat. It's nice to be able to recognize it and refute some of it - or get over myself about a lot of stuff - maybe age does beget wisdom?!

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    2. Deb, We'd tell a friend when they were telling themselves untruths, but it's so hard to tell it to ourselves. Even when I've told myself it's not true, I still sometimes find myself doubting it! Changing deeply rooted beliefs takes time.

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  8. Hi Leanne, and Pat, Pat I almost did not recognize you in your picture. I think in my head you are always wearing the hat and sunglasses on your blog pages! You are a terrific role model for doing the work to uncover your true self and doing the personal development to get you to your next steps. I think that is what I like about both of your blogs- like me, you are always reflective and always growing!

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    1. Michele, The hat & sunglasses is actually more the real me. I've found I really enjoy the time I can devote to self-development now that I am retired. Being able to share my insights with others is an added bonus!

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    2. Hi Michele - I had the same disconnect between "professional Pat" and "casual Pat" - she's a woman of many talents! And I can definitely relate to how our thinking ties in with yours and how our blogs intersect on various levels - we all love to ponder!

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  9. Great read, Pat! I am super critical and judgy towards myself. I have been reading a ton of self improvement books. I am going to try to write out my resentments as it does play a part in my life that I don't care for!

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    1. Susan, I resisted writing out my resentment story for over a year. I was pleasantly surprised how writing it all out did help release it! I also finally realized that the resentment was part of my identity and I needed to let that go as well. That's still work in progress. Good Luck with your own release.

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    2. Hi Susan - I think Midlife is the perfect time to turn that type of thinking on its head and start living from a more positive and self-accepting viewpoint. I've come a long way since my early 50's and with 60 looming on the horizon I really want to get my head around kicking negativity out the door.

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  10. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I'm on my self-development journey, reading books and posts (love the Enneagram) but need to dig a little deeper and I love how honest your self-limiting beliefs are. I think I am just afraid to see what I would write about myself - but knowing that you immediately followup with rebuttals is the perfect compliment. Thank you for sharing this.

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    1. Christine, Reality was some of the rebuttals took time. Admitting to myself some of my beliefs was hard, but finding rebuttals sometimes even harder to write! Seriously, I still have difficulty stating things like "I am a good friend". Good luck with your journey.

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    2. Hi Christine - I love that so many of us are on similar journeys as we try to figure out what doesn't fit anymore and discard/replace it with truer and more positive recognition of our attributes. I think we bring a lot more to the table than we give ourselves credit for and it's time we allowed ourselves to be proud of where we've progressed to.

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  11. There’s so much to think about in your post Pat. I could probably benefit from the Resentment exercise. Great first guest Leanne to kick off your series

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    1. Thanks Jennifer. The resentment exercise is really helpful if you like to write. I've had some folks encourage me to print the whole story out and physically release it - burn it. Or put the key words on rocks and toss them in a river. Just a couple of other thoughts if resentment release is something you're intrigued with.

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    2. Hi Jen - yes Pat did an excellent job of capturing what I was trying to get at with my "Cultivate" WOTY. I think we all have different areas we're working on and being able to share insights is a great way to encourage each other's journeys.

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  12. I love the words “wholehearted” and “cultivating,” Leanne. I made myself a note to find Brene Brown’s podcasts. I hear good things.

    Hi Pat, I appreciate your candid, thoughtful approach to making choices and evolving. Interesting how you write “honesty is key.” I had goosebumps with your phrase “...on the feelings these beliefs created...”. Reading more of your post, makes me think about the imposter syndrome and how many women identify with this syndrome. Active strengths is a concept that has recently come up in discussions. Our own, and others. Thank you for sharing an excellent post, Pat, with many gems and actual “practices.” And, Leanne, an excellent beginning to 2021. Thank you!xx

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    1. Hi Erica - yes, Pat has my guest posts off to a great start and you will definitely have to listen to Brene's TED talk - and her talk on Netflix (if you have Netflix) both are really good. You can also download her books - I find her research and down to earth examples really helpful - and Pat's thoughts and insights have been great to add into the mix.

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    2. Erika, I've read a couple of Brene Brown's books (I'm not really a podcast girl) and find her very inspiring. The cultivate quote that inspired Leanne's WOTY is wonderful and I'm hearing the word cultivate more and more (increased awareness?). Yesterday it was "cultivate an attitude of gratitude". What's wonderful about the word cultivate is you need to do the work, and keep doing the work. I am definitely a work in progress!

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  13. Wow. Thank you for sharing Pat's words and different image here for us Leanne!! I learned a lot reading this and think it may be time for me to check out Enneagram. I am 71 and thought things were going pretty well for me post-cancer and getting on with life and boom....this week, post our Golden Wedding Celebrations some of my old negative thought patterns are back. At least I know them for what they are and can challenge them but we can never say we are really 'done' in self development can we? Thank you for joining us this week for #lifethisweek. Next time, the optional prompt is 6/51 Decision. 8 Feb. and I hope to see your next blog post there too. Cheers, Denyse.

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    1. Thanks Denyse for your comment. I think being able to recognize the negative thought patterns is so important - bringing them into awareness versus letting them drive behavior unconsciously is where I am in my self-development. And I agree with you, we are always developing!

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    2. Hi Denyse - maybe we never stop being works in progress? I know I have lapses too and have to remind myself of all the good in my life and the fact that I have worthiness. The benefit of "wisdom" is that we recognize when our thoughts are dysfunctional and that's a big step towards being able to replace them with healthier ones before they become entrenched.

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  14. Thank you Leanne for sharing Pat's guest post. Thank you Pat for summarizing your cultivation process in such a succinct, easy-to-understand way. As you know, I've been following your blog for several years, and you always have something insightful to share. I almost always come away with something I'd like to try. This time is no different. I'm going to start with an "I believe" list and see where that takes me.

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    1. Christie, I've recently realized that being an Enneagram Type One means my I believe list was highly critical ... all the negative thought patterns. I'm curios if this approach works for those who are not so hard on themselves all the time. You'll need to let me know!

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    2. Hi Christie - one of the biggest joys for me from blogging is the connection I've made with so many wise women. Every time I read a post it teaches me or reinforces something I've been learning. You and Pat are both great inspirations to me - and your wisdom always adds something to my day.

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  15. Pat, thank you. You were not kidding when you said you did a "deep dive," and I appreciate how methodically you went about it. Thank you for sharing such personal "angst" (not sure if it is the right word). but bravely looking at yourself and what you need and then sharing it with a bunch of strangers. You can hopefully tell from the responses that many, myself included appreciate what you have shared. Leanne, thank you for starting this series and inviting blogging friends to participate. I bought the book "The Gifts of Imperfection" right after reading your post on your WOTY. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten very far yet, well, almost 25%, but am looking forward to reading more. My life has been enriched by being part of this community of writers. Not only in the personal conversations, but in the life-giving information that is shared. Thank you both, Michele

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    1. Hi Michele - I feel exactly the same way about our Midlife blogging community - I learn from you all every day and my life has been enriched beyond measure too. I'm so glad you bought Brene's book and I hope you find many insights there - I'm re-reading it atm and finding even more thoughts that I'd missed the first time around.
      Pat also has many deep and well researched thoughts to share and I learn from her methodical approach - made easier by how she summarizes all she's learnt for those of us who like to pick through the easier bits!

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    2. Michele, One of the things that brings me joy is when I connect with others and they get some insight from my thinking for themselves. It's been so nice to link into Leanne's broad community! I've read The Gifts of Imperfection and found it inspiring. I hope you do as well.

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  16. Hi Leanne, Thank you for introducing Pat! It's always great to have more people joining the community. And thank you Pat for a lovely post. It's very true that it's all about understanding our beliefs and learning to reframe them and accept what we can't change. Of course that's easier said than done but after years of working on mine, I can honestly say that I feel positive, grounded and generally happy. I feel very lucky and thank you for the reminder :) #MondayMusings

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    1. Hi Anne - I feel the same way as you do. Once I kicked that soul sucking job to the kerb, I realized that the old positive and upbeat me was still there and rediscovering that part of myself has been a joy. To be content and grounded is something I'd love everyone to experience and define their lives by - otherwise it's a pretty sad way to spend the decades in front of us isn't it?

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    2. Hi Anne, I recall years ago we were working to change some beliefs about our brand, and the day I heard a consumer's words "X used to be Y, but it's not anymore", I felt a thrill of success. That's a bit what I'm hoping for now. I heard recently the term "recovering pessimist" also. I think I'm claiming that new branding for myself! And I'm going to keep working on the others - many years, you did say!

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  17. It breaks my heart that you are thinking these things about yourself. I am glad you have found an exercise and practice for undoing the negative speak and thought. Rather than comparing myself to a lot of other people, I have this inner dialogue that I need to do more...try new things, get my house better organized, purge more, accomplish more. I don't think it is because I am comparing myself to someone else but just that perfectionist/OCD stuff that plays on and on in my head. We have talked about that stuff a little in our emails back and forth. Thinking about it all now is giving me heartburn!! Ha!!

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    1. Hi Leslie - I think a lot of us have that inner drive to be our very best - and a lot of us then take it too far and set ourselves up for all those self-critical little thoughts. I'm learning to be kinder to myself, give myself a little more grace, and generally go with the flow more - and my life has become a lot more peaceful and content in the process. I love it when I see others on the same journey - life is good and we need to do our best not to over complicate it. :)

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    2. Leslie, Are you aware, the need to "do more" is part of the Enneagram Type 3...which is one of your wings? It's not compare & despair... it's an inner belief that you will only be loved if you "perform" so you constantly feel like you need to "climb the next mountain", do the next trendy thing, etc. This is the deep-dive belief stuff that I did...my issue is not that one, but it was about getting my inner voice on paper. Being aware of your inner dialogue is the first step!

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  18. Oh Pat... this truth comes at the perfect time in my retirement life. Just last week I finished Glennon Doyle's book, Untamed (which I will review next week on the blog). She challenged me to examine every long-held belief to see if it is what I truly believe - or was it societal culture telling me I "should" believe. Am I brave enough to break free of the cage I've cowered in for decades??
    I discovered the Enneagram two years ago, and after six months of a deep dive and mis-numbering, I learned I am 6 with a very strong 5 wing. Interestingly, I don't feel like this label puts me in a box. Rather, I feel liberated... that my constant "what if..." questions are not an oddity, it is a 6 being a 6 :)

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    1. Hi Molly - I enjoyed Untamed too - there were aspects I didn't really relate to, but there was a lot of sound advice about not conforming to the expectations of others and the freedom of allowing everyone to be themselves without all the judgement we carry around with us. I still prefer Brene Brown, but it was a good book to add to my reading on how to become more myself as I move into this new decade that lies ahead. I'm not sure why it took me so long to allow myself to be "me" - but I intend to embrace all that my 60's are going to bring - and do it with a smile.

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    2. Molly, Like you, I'm finding the Enneagram free-ing and not boxing me in. It's given me framework for understanding my thinking. (I love frameworks.) And it's allowed me to be less judgmental - a huge need for the highly critical Type 1 that I am. I will have to check out Untamed.... and look forward to your review of it.

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  19. Hi Leanne and Pat. A very interesting read. I admire the honesty in how you went through the process of stripping away those deep seated inner thoughts. I did a similar process to look at my values but it didn't challenge me to look at my negative feelings as much as your process. Both are ways of deep self reflection which is very helpful for self growth. Regards Christina

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    1. Hi Christina - I've tended to avoid digging too deeply into my negative thoughts - I tend to go down the rabbit hole if I'm not careful. But when they pop up, I think Pat's idea of replacing them with a positive truth is the perfect answer and a great way of gently redirecting our self-perception.

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    2. Christina, Thank you. I did my values a while ago and it definitely helped me. This self-limiting belief work was even more powerful (and more recent).

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  20. Pat - I'm glad that you found specific actions to put positive psychology in place and undo the negative self-talk. A positive mind set influences how we see our life quality and the world around us. Thanks, Leanne, for featuring Pat. A great start to your Cultivate guest series. #WeekendCoffeeShare

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    1. Hi Natalie - yes, I was so pleased that Pat offered to be my first guest and started the series off with such a well rounded and relatable post. I think all of us know what it's like to have those little self-doubts and negative thoughts - Pat's way of dealing with them was such a great reflection of her thoroughness and also her willingness to share.

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    2. Natalie, some folks are naturally positive. I saw recently the term "recovering pessimist" and felt that was really descriptive of me! Maintaining a more positive mindset still takes a lot of attention for me. Kinda like the word cultivate... it's not a one day and done activity!

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  21. Everything starts in the mind. Thoughts become reality. I choose to believe that every new day is the first and the last. The "first day" of the rest of my life, the right time to start with the improvements I want to see in my life. The "last day" to tell everyone I love how much they mean to me. Thanks for an inspirational post :)

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    1. Hi Maria - what a wonderful way to approach life. I'm getting so much better at living in the present too - and making positive choices rather than allowing the negatives to have too much impact on how I see the world. I think when we make proactive choices, our whole worldview shifts - and I love your "last day" process as well.

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  22. Pat, first of all, you are a beautiful woman, stop hiding behind that goofy hat! Second, I assumed that you were fairly new to retirement. Shame on me for not paying better attention. I enjoy your writing and am glad to see you guest writing for Leanne's blog. Self-limiting beliefs are paralyzing and the fact that you are willing to expose your vulnerability not only to yourself, but to others is commendable, and healing. I agree that the only way this process works is to be completely honest. Best wishes and thanks for sharing your wisdom.

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    1. Hi Suzanne - she does look amazing in her profile pic on today's post doesn't she? I would never have connected that woman with the casual one in the hat. I'm hoping people would recognize me from mine - even when I don't have that much pink on (it was a very pink day when that pic was taken!) And yes, we all need to shine our light and stop holding ourselves back - because others are looking and following our lead. I want to be able to be the best example possible of how to live this second half of life well.

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    2. Suzanne, I mentioned to someone else that the hat and sunglasses is actually more the real me! But I do clean up well. When I gathered with friends the day that picture was taken (it's a professional shot), they almost didn't recognize me. I thought it would be fun to put that "professional look" out there!

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    3. Pat, the compliment stands; even if a hat and sunglasses is more you. :-)

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  23. Thanks for sharing this! What an excellent exercise to develop a better mindset toward yourself.

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    1. Hi Susanne - I love how Pat has dug down deep into the reasons behind her thoughts and then looked at how to change those thoughts around - something we can all learn from.

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  24. Oh dear, once again I thought I'd already commented on this post but it appears not! maybe I read it and just thought of my response but didn't follow though! Maybe I have a lot going on in my head :) Anyway, I really did enjoy reading Pat's thoughts Leanne, it fits in perfectly with your word of the year. Pat's honesty and insights are always interesting and thought provoking. I'm currently enjoying Brene Brown's Daring Greatly, thanks to Leanne, and am taking it slowly so I savour the messages, she has a lot to say about being vulnerable and it is this honesty that makes us all unique and authentic when we try to express our inner most thoughts. Thanks to you both for all you do in helping show us a different way of being. #weekendcoffeeshare

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    1. Deb, I didn't think so much about the vulnerability but I did want to express the honestly. I hoped someone would realize that someone else had similar self-limiting beliefs and they were not alone. It's been heart-warming the response this has gotten!

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    2. Hi Deb - I'm glad you're enjoying "Daring Greatly" - I've also been reading it in small chunks to allow it to sink in. And yes, I think that Pat has shown a lot of vulnerability in sharing her thoughts and the impact they have had on her. I feel that a lot of us blog stuff that is quite raw at times - and that's what makes our blogs real and builds the connections with others - like attracts like x

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  25. I've never heard of the idea of writing a resentment story, Pat. I'm going to do this exercise. Thank you.
    Pinned, Leanne.

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    1. Hi Corinne - it's certainly an interesting way to dig deeper into why our inner voice says what it does. I'm always grateful for Pat's insights and how she dives below the surface to get to the nitty gritty.

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  26. Thank you Pat and Leanne, a very helpful insight and practice to encourage personal growth. Our Menaka has chosen your post to be featured in the next Blogger's Pit Stop, so we can encourage more bloggers.
    Kathleen

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    1. Hi Kathleen - how lovely to be featured again in the Pit Stop - Pat's advice is helpful for everyone, but especially for women who are at the point when they want to make some changes to that inner voice chattering away inside their heads.

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