INTRO
Today on the blog I'm doing something a little different to my usual post.
I follow Krista from
A Life In Progress
on Facebook and she shared a picture of navigating a life journey that resonated with me on
many levels. When I clicked through, she'd also included some encouraging
thoughts.
I figured if the picture and what she had written were meaningful to me, they might also be helpful to others. I reached out to Krista to ask if I could share her post and she very generously agreed. So, without further ado,
here's the picture and what Krista had to say about it, with a little note from me at the end.....
LIFE IS A JOURNEY
Just being human can be hard work at times! But layer on grief, trauma, messy and vulnerable life transitions, a lifetime of pouring out for others while neglecting our own needs, trying to measure up and keep up to prove our worth, comparison, perfectionism, fear, and a mean inner critic who tells us we’re never enough… and it’s no wonder that by the time we arrive at midlife, we’re exhausted and desperate for something new.But remember these truths:
- You are not bad, wrong, or broken; you’re simply human in a messy world. As you own your story, strength and struggle, shame and judgment-free, you’ll walk in greater freedom, wholeness and joy.
- You can stop trying to fit someone else’s mold and choose a soul-honouring way of being in your body and life. You can let go of all the “shoulds” and conditioning, and express the full truth of who you are. To do this, you have to get to know, love, and trust your True Self.
- Joy and pain coexist in a full, meaningful, beautiful life. It’s a both/and equation. And when you make peace with the messiness of life, and learn that you’re strong enough to sit with discomfort and not break, you’ll expand your capacity for joy.
- You have permission to truth-tell about how you feel, to grieve, or express your rage or pain about what was. You have permission to keep thriving (even after painful loss), embrace new adventures, and do what it takes to feel safe, at home, and joyful in your body and your life.
- There’s beauty and wisdom to be mined in every season, even the hardest of them. You have the privilege and agency to keep writing your story but must take that first tentative step. Though you’d love the perfect plan laid out for you, you’ll find your way in action, not before!
(Krista -
Rebranding Middle Age)
WHY THIS WAS MEANINGFUL TO ME
When I read Krista's introduction I could hear myself ticking off the
descriptors (I've included links below to what I've written about them previously):
✓ messy and vulnerable life transitions
✓ pouring out for others while neglecting my own needs
✓ trying to measure up and keep up to prove my worth
✓ comparison
✓ perfectionism
✓ fear
✓ a mean inner critic who tells me I'm never enough
✓ pouring out for others while neglecting my own needs
✓ trying to measure up and keep up to prove my worth
✓ comparison
✓ perfectionism
✓ fear
✓ a mean inner critic who tells me I'm never enough
This last decade or so has helped me make inroads into a lot of these
areas, but I'm aware they still have a hold on me and I need to keep them in
check. I've included the links above because they reference my journey, and I can see how how they correlate with Krista's advice.
I hope you find what she has to say as thought provoking as I
did.
RELATED POSTS
BEFORE YOU GO:
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at
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Hi, Leanne - I agree that Krista's maps and ideas are very helpful and thought-provoking. Life definitely is a journey, and we are all a work in progress. Even when we are aware of the falseness of our overly-critical inner voice it doesn't mean that it still doesn't try to maintain a grip on us.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Hi Donna - I just saw a lot of myself in what she wrote and in the map itself. I feel like the last decade or so has been a series of doing these steps. (Some forward and some back - but still progressing). And that critical voice really does need to shut up :)
DeleteVery thought provoking indeed... great post.
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - I really appreciated her wisdom, and it's great to be able to share it with others who probably didn't see her post. She has such a lot of life experience and shares it very authentically - something I hope I do here to some degree.
DeleteI feel like a door to a world I never imagined just opened. And I didn't even realize there was a door. These concepts and thoughts are not necessarily new to me, but just skimming through the posts on Krista's FB page was heart- and eye-opening. Thank you so very much for sharing this; I almost can't thank you enough. I am going to spend a lot of time on this.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristine - I'm so glad you found it helpful. I looked at the picture and thought "Yes, this has been my journey many times". It's not a one-off, it's a continual process for me and I think it will be for many years to come. Krista has so much meaningful life experience and a gentle way of conveying what she shares. I've appreciated her thoughts as I've been navigating my own way through Midlife.
DeleteThank you so much for sharing this! I love when bloggers share information/posts/ ideas that they've found helpful. The internet is just so darn big to find ALL those helpful pieces of information on our own.
ReplyDeleteHi Joanne - I feel like we all want to be original and not plagarize anyone, but when there's something good to share, a quick query with the owner of it can mean that it's okay to pass it along. I found it valuable and I thought others might too.
DeleteLeanne, I really liked the "befriend yourself" and "honor your wiring". We so often are too critical of ourselves (say things to ourselves we would never say to a friend) or try to be something we are not. Sometimes it's hard to say "this is me, this is who I am", especially if it's not the expected or socially accepted way to be. Or others are not accepting of the way you are. But, as you point out, it is often two steps forward and one step back in learning about this stuff - a definite work in progress.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - I find what you've said to be so true. I'm sure others are all just getting on with their lives, but I tend to compare, and assume other people are judging my decisions. It's ridiculous I know, but it's so good for me to remind myself that I can do life on my own terms and refuse to worry or wonder about what others are thinking or doing. Everyone has their own path - mine tends to loop around a lot - maybe that's why the image caught my eye?!
DeleteHi Leanne, Always good to get another perspective. I like Krista’s name for her blog “A Life in Progress.” Speaks volumes. Quiet the noise is always big for me. The word perfectionism still rears its little head. You remind me how we are both hygienists and attention to detail has always been part of that. You also remind me how we had to have an ‘end point’ in the time allotted to us. I always came away feeling I could have done more. I always see how you and my loved ones are enough. Sometimes a challenge to see that for myself. I am also ‘a work in progress.’ Thank you for sharing Krista and your thoughts with us. xx Erica
ReplyDeleteHi Erica - I definitely think we were drawn to a career that used our perfectionism and attention to detail. We both just need to remember that life is less precise and it's okay to not have all our ducks in a row. We're doing a little kitchen reno + some painting and furniture updating - my world feels messy and unsettled.....so I have to keep reminding myself that it's a First World problem and things need to get messy before they get made better (a definite life lesson there!) I keep turning my eyes to what's good and doing my best to let the rest of life be what it will be. xx
DeleteHi Leanne. Krista's post was validating in that it made me feel like I am on the right path towards joy and inner peace. Thank you for sharing. xx Christina Daggett
ReplyDeleteHi Christina, I could relate to the steps too - and to where I started from and to the much better life I'm working towards - slowly and by being kind to myself, and giving myself grace as I go through the process.
DeleteI love Krista's map too - it's very true and feels quite validating to see and read. Thanks for sharing it Leanne! These are all the things I've been dealing with over the last decade. Some I've made huge progress with, others I'm still a work in progress. Sometimes I can be very hard on myself that I'm still not quite there but this map of Krista's does remind me that I'm not alone and imperfection is ok.
ReplyDeleteHi Min - I found her map really heartening too - the idea of being kind to ourselves as we navigate through change and growth. The last decade has been a big one for me too - it's like I opened my eyes and realized that I had to make the most of this second half of life......and that it could be more about me after the first half being more about other people.
DeleteThis was a great way of looking at our progress through life's various stages. Thanks for sharing and giving us something to think about!
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I just loved her positivity without the rah-rah that some bloggers have. She seems like a quieter and more gentle soul - but very wise after a lot of life experience that has taken her on a journey that lends itself to helping others.
DeleteI do think life is very messy and humans are very complex and I think that helps us be kinder to ourselves and more forgiving of others. Everyone is just trying to make it through...I think being at peace with Imperfect Action and ignoring the noise are the two that really resonate with me....#WWandP
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia - I'm learning that kindness, generosity, tolerance, and grace play into living life well - and they help me muddle through a lot of the ups and downs - especially when other people are involved. A little imperfection is what makes us human - and allows us to give grace to others in their imperfection.
DeleteWhat I am learning at around 10 years older than many who blog, is that I am not done. Not ever. I continue to learn, discover, reject and move on. The fact is, this bit I am in now is me hanging on....because I am aware of the physical challenges which will come (if all goes well) into our late 70s and early 80s. So, I embrace what I can do/share now but I also reject (nicely as I learn more about boundaries & me) what is not a great fit. Great seeing the word "journey" used in this post. I have often wondered what anyone's objection is to it, but I AM on my journey and it's taken me on some interesting and challenging paths! Thanks Leanne for always helping me consider and think! And to your guest Krista. So good to see your post this week for Wednesday’s Words and Pics Link Up on Denyse Whelan Blogs. I look forward to you joining us next week too! Denyse.
ReplyDeleteHi Denyse - I'm always going to like the word 'journey' - because life is so fluid. We don't stay in the same place - time carries us forward (whether we like it or not) and how we embrace that speaks into who we become. Aging well, embracing 'the journey' - allowing ourselves to figure stuff out as we go....that to me is real life. I feel like 60 woke me up to the fact that I'm not bullet-proof - two surgeries in 12 months is huge for me, but I'm grateful to have modern medicine on my side (like your amazing journey through cancer) and I intend to make the most of this second half of life and all the lessons it's bringing to me - I like who I'm becoming.
DeleteI agree with Denyse, we keep growing even after our 60s. As you have found out, surgeries are not the worst thing that can happen in your life. They only make you stronger and last longer - LOL. Life is meant to be a journey, and we are not done until we are done. Thanks for your always thought-provoking posts, Leanne. :) Have a great weekend and week following.
ReplyDeleteHi Marsha - surgeries are always a little daunting, then before you know it, they're in the rear view mirror and it's time to get back to living life exactly how we want to. I'm definitely finding that my 60's are just building on what I started discovering in my 50's - and I still have a long way to go. I really like that there's still so much to learn and to grow into in the years ahead.
DeleteAmen Leanne. I don't know what else to say, except thank you for sharing this post.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie - she's a very wise woman isn't she? I just felt that so much of what she said, and what was in the map, resonated with where I'm at in my Midlife journey. Learning, growing, and trying to be gentle with myself in the process.
DeleteHi Leanne, Thank you for your weekend coffee share. I agree that life is a journey and we are all a work in progress. A positive mental attitude helps us deal with the stressful parts of life's journey in a healthier way.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie - thanks so much for the coffee catch-up and yes, the journey of life continues - and I like that it becomes more meaningful as we get older.
DeleteI am going through a season where I am questioning everything I say and do. I question my motive for saying or doing things. Not sure what is up with that but I feel a lot of guilt lately. Ugh. We are ever-evolving, aren't we.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie - I think we all question ourselves at times - hence the post I wrote a month or two ago about always second guessing myself. We don't give ourselves enough credit for being older and wiser, and for knowing which path to take. We can't keep everyone happy, we can only do our best in that particular moment.
DeleteOh goodness! Thank you for sharing this map with us here today. This journey is truly such a trip, with so many layers, awarenesses, and emotions. The visual caught me with it's winding road...the ups and downs, the blind curves and continuous motion. So good. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Leanne - This is a post I can relate to. Krista's maps and ideas make a lot of sense. I think one must stop comparing oneself with others. In today's world, social media tempts us to compare ourselves. That happens very subconsciously. But it does some damage to our emotional well-being. We need to believe in ourselves, and guide ourselves to paths that are fulfilling - emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually.
ReplyDelete(My latest post: What happened to my previous post)
Thank you so much for sharing Krista's work! I'm following her now. I feel like I'm navigating between stages of life without guide or compass, so her work (and your post) came at an opportune time.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh those were so good. I'm 54 and definitely feel like I am learning to find my own voice, and walk a new journey through this part of my life. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete