A new year

Happy New Year - and may it fulfill all the hopes it holds

As a new year descends on me yet again I look back and can't believe 12 months have slipped by and I have barely marked their coming and going.

It's been a year of ups and downs - as most years of my life seem to be. It was a year of reconnecting with my husband after our marriage nearly went down the toilet in 2013.....thanks to the insidious and ever lurking depression that is the bane of our married life. It has also been a year where my husband restarted work after 3 years of studying and doing a little bit of work from home......and then had his contract finished and now we are back to square one with me hoping he'll get out of the house and find work and mix with people and not become isolated and insular.

I'm hoping that 2015 will bring steady work for him, I'm hoping our love and commitment to each other will deepen and grow stronger - it'll be 32 years of marriage in February and I am very grateful that we are still together to celebrate that anniversary. I'm hoping to see more of my children and maybe even to hear that a grandbaby is on the way. I'm hoping that I'll feel more appreciated at work and maybe even see a pay rise (now that is wishful thinking). I'm hoping to deepen friendships and work out how to gracefully withdraw from "friendships" that have proven to be less than I'd hoped for - or that I've outgrown.

The other thing that I hope for is to become a better person. I want to become a woman that others want to spend time with, that my children can be proud of and that my husband can be glad he married. So here is to 2015 - and maybe at the end of the year I'll have managed to keep this blog going and maybe someone other than me will find it and read it and be able to relate to what I'm going through. It's not the sort of blog I would share with friends or family - too honest and too much of myself on display - but it's good to have a place to put my thoughts. Happy new year!

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