CELEBRATING SPINSTERHOOD

Being married is wonderful - but sometimes it's also nice to celebrate spinsterhood

HE IS ALWAYS HOME

My husband works from home....it's lovely that he can avoid the hassles of peak hour traffic and the daily commute, but it means that he is always home. This suits him perfectly as he is an introvert and avoiding crowds and office politics is fine by him. It works well for me in that he now takes on most of the housekeeping and is home to greet me when I walk in the door on my work days, but it means that he is always home.

Sometimes I miss having the house to myself - not that he's really in my personal space, and not that I don't love him dearly and enjoy his company, but I still miss alone time where it's just me and the cats and nothing going on in the background. I guess in a way, there are times where I miss Spinsterhood - living alone with cats!


HOME ALONE

There are four times a year when my husband heads to the city for a three day seminar that he conducts as part of his tutoring role with the online college he works for. He packs his suitcase and all his set-up gear for the lectures and tutorials, loads it into his car, waves goodbye, and heads off to the city.

Now, some women would feel lost and alone without their beloved husband there to keep them company for those three days - but not me - no siree! I'm too busy thinking about all the little things I'll be doing while he's away - things I don't get to do when he's at home and I'm in responsible wife mode.


CELEBRATING SPINSTERHOOD

Here's a few of the things I love to do while he's off being dedicated elsewhere:

1. Wearing my 'comfort pants' - this is my version of hanging around the house in my PJs. I have a couple of pairs of really soft, really daggy pajama bottoms that I love and he hates. They aren't the most flattering of attire, but they aren't called 'comfort pants' for nothing! I slide into those babies and don't have to think about the fact that they look ugly or ridiculous - because nobody is there to see me - except for the cats (and they LOVE my soft snuggly pants!) 

peaking of sleeping - I also sleep in every morning. He's an early riser and (although he doesn't care if I sleep in) I always feel a bit guilty lying around in bed for hours after he's risen to greet the dawn. When he's away I can stay in bed as long as I like - and even the cats get to sleep in because there's nobody up and about to wake them at the crack of dawn.

2. Doing nothing - this is one of my favourite pastimes - I think it might actually be one of my spiritual gifts! I'm an expert at doing very little - reading, jigsaw-ing, chilling out, looking at Facebook, Pinterest or blogs - I excel in them all! My husband is a do-er and is always gainfully employed in something useful - he's also into outdoor pursuits and being active - me, not so much. So when I'm home alone I can sit around all day doing nothing in particular and nobody cares.

3. Starfishing in the bed - ahhhhh the joys of spreading out in the bed and the silence - nobody snoring - is also wonderful. Some women can't sleep when their husbands are away - not me, I'm out like a light and I sleep like the dead.

peaking of sleeping - I also sleep in every morning. He's an early riser and (although he doesn't care if I sleep in) I always feel a bit guilty lying around in bed for hours after he's risen to greet the dawn. When he's away I can stay in bed as long as I like - and even the cats get to sleep in because there's nobody up and about to wake them at the crack of dawn.

4. Speaking of sleeping - I also sleep in every morning. He's an early riser and (although he doesn't care if I sleep late) I always feel a bit guilty lying around in bed for hours after he's risen to greet the dawn. When he's away I can stay in bed as long as I like - and even the cats get to sleep in because there's nobody up and about to wake them at some ridiculous time in the morning.

5. Eating easy meals - and sometimes even takeaway food. My husband is a healthy eater (we both are actually) and takeaway food doesn't interest him at all, and he's also not a fan of frozen dinners. I love the occasional takeaway or not having to cook - so bring on my three days of home alone time and I eat like a kid! I barely see a vegetable and I don't go anywhere near the stove - bliss for a few days.


A LITTLE BIT OF INDULGENCE

To be honest, I actually do miss him while he's gone, and there's nothing stopping me doing those five things when he's home (except the starfishing in the bed - that wouldn't be appreciated), but for some reason, it always seems like I'm being a bit decadent and lazy when it's just me and the cats. I'd hate for it to always to be that way - I'd probably never get out of bed and I'd live on takeaway food - but for little snippets of time, spinsterhood can be celebrated.

Sometimes it's nice to not be a responsible adult - I can't get away with it for long, but for a few days here and there, it's quite a treat. I love it when my husband's back and we're together again, I put away the 'comfort pants' and dig out the vegetables and life returns to normal - until next term when I get my next opportunity to once again celebrate spinsterhood.


WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Are you ever home alone? Do you enjoy quiet nights, or are you lying awake because you're by yourself? Do you celebrate spinsterhood or is it something you avoid like the plague?

Being married is wonderful - but sometimes it's also nice to celebrate spinsterhood

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75 comments

  1. Ha! I'm the opposite. ALWAYS home alone. I sometimes crave for someone to talk to at the end of the day - though must admit the nights I overnight at my mother's she sometimes drives me bonkers as I feel rushed.... and have to keep to her timetable.

    My hardest time is always the few hours late afternoon / early evening. Not as much of a problem when I was in the city and didn't get home until late. But that's when I feel really unsettled and why I lie in the bath and read for a couple of hours before a lateish dinner each night.

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    1. I think I'd be the same Deb - you get into your little routines, but there are always flat patches where it's nice to have someone around to chat to at the end of the day. Kind of a little debrief I guess. I suppose for me, alone time would be like your 'together' time with your mum or if you had visitors - nice for a while, but also nice to get back to normal again. Everyone's normal looks different though - and your long bath and book time sounds rather nice to me :)

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  2. You have just described my life for the last couple of weeks, as I've been off work. Right down to the cats and pajama bottoms! I'm a big homebody and can certainly appreciate the joys of having the house to myself. I understand the push/pull of partnership and alone time.

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    1. It's a fine line isn't it Kristin? You wouldn't necessarily want to be in your pjs every day, but for a little chunk of time here and there it's very pleasant! I just like having the headspace and downtime where I can be just plain lazy and nobody knows or cares!

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  3. I love my alone time too Leanne, but I think my weeks are a nice balance of some of that and some time enjoying people. I have Mondays and Fridays to myself, my husband is home on Thursdays, and we're home together on weekends. We cherish our time together and protect it from possible intrusions, which can be particularly tricky being married to a counsellor (as you would understand). Just reading Deborah's comment above, I remember during my busy, often chaotic, stay-at-home-mum days, commenting to my own mum, who has been on her own for many years, how much I would love to have her life sometimes, just the peace and quiet that was hers every single day, to do what she wanted without having to cater for anyone else. Her quick response was that we always want what we don't have (how true) and it wouldn't be long before I found her life as lonely as she does sometimes. I felt sorry for my careless assumption, and it was a good reality check for me. I'm sure that endless spinsterhood would be truly challenging if we'd rather it wasn't that way. I think the reason I can enjoy my alone time so much is that I know it will end come 5pm!

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    1. I think you have a pretty good balance by the sound of things Sue - three days of together time and four days of home alone time! I work 2 days a week and that gives my husband a bit of space - although he's busy working, so probably doesn't feel like he has the house to himself - it's more like having the office to himself! Mind you, when I'm alone at work it's pretty nice too so I guess it's to do with enjoying doing things at my own pace and not being on someone else's clock or timetable. I haven't had enough of it to find out if I'd be lonely - I imagine the cats would be pretty boring company after a while :)

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  4. We are sisters Leanne! My husband is retired so I am rarely alone. I do enjoy his company but earlier this year he had to go to hospital for 3 weeks. I missed him but found that I enjoyed 'my alone time'. Like you I didn't have to worry about making meals (although he usually cooks as well), I could go to bed early and read, read, read. I love my husband and he loves me but time apart does make the heart grow fonder even in Midlife & Beyond :)

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    1. It's lovely when someone "gets" what I'm saying Sue :) You're right, it's not about not loving your partner, or not wanting to be with them, it's about those little snippets of time where we get to be selfish and do exactly what we want - and how we want it. Not needing to take anyone else into consideration - a lovely treat now and then but not what we'd want full-time :)

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    2. Okay, we are triplets then, ha! :)
      Lori Jo

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    3. Hi Leanne, just popping back to say that we have had a great start to #MLSTL and I'm sharing your post everywhere. I can see by the comments we all appreciate our 'alone time' :)

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  5. I can strongly relate. Because my husband is unwell and can't work, he's always home when I am. And while we don't get under each others feet, I'm still not home alone. I get an hour or three per year. And that's not enough for me.

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    1. It's strange isn't it Vanessa? Other people would kill to have their spouses around 24/7 but when you live that life full-time you get that little voice in your head that wants some "me" space where there's nothing and nobody around - maybe it's the introvert in us quietly muttering in the background? I hope your husband improves healthwise and gets to be out and about again (and frees up some space for you too) x

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  6. Hari OM
    As a life-long actual spinster, I have to speak in defence of 'my people'. ;*> Most of us have to live disciplined and tidy lives or life wouldn't happen at all. You are describing what I think most folk would call 'weekending' - whatever their marital status. Downtime. Slob-mode. Chillaxing. Cat's away, let's play... Call it anything you like but spinsterhood. YAM xx (with tongue placed only a little in cheek! Seriously, I do get that you appreciate some alone-time and it is actually important for all couples/families that each member gets exactly that...)

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    1. Yes, I was referring to "weekending" Yam - I thought it was fun to call it spinsterhood because (in all honesty) I think I'd be a bit of a slob if I was single - I'd certainly be less disciplined and probably a bit less tidy (and probably weigh a bit more!) But you're right, it's more about having some down time where it's just about me for a while that I really like :)

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    2. I'm with you, Yamini, and I'm one of your people - a life long and very happy single woman.
      Some alone time is certainly wonderful, Leanne, and it sounds like you make great use of it :)

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  7. OMG, Leanne! Love the post, we must have been separated at birth, ha! Love him, but we are opposites and I love my time alone to be creative and breathe. He goes to work around 4:30 a.m. and gets home around 2:30 p.m., so I use those hours in a hurry, then have to switch gears, help! I cannot concentrate with the lofting around all around me, he wants my attention, Lord help me. I was secretly elated when his job took him from the U.S. to England for 3 glorious weeks back in the Spring, he was anxious for days leading up to "being away"... but then, he was so excited to find a phone app called "What's App", where we could do video chats for free--it was just like he was still here! He complained about wanting to come home the entire time, what, are you 5 years old? I want to be wife, not mother, what the heck will retirement be like? Will I be bald from pulling out my own hair? There needs to be a plan, or a plane, either will work for me, ha! :D
    Lori Jo

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    1. My husband enjoys his time away and probably forgets I exist for most of it Lori - I just wish there was a little more balance with our time together and time apart - the idea of being home alone for a day or two a week appeals to me enormously. I'd probably do nothing other than sitting, blogging, reading and watching Dr Phil - but that would be kind of nice to do without feeling secretly guilty for not being productive while he is working away diligently in his home office!
      I do wonder how retirement will go when we're both home all day (I'm still out of the house at work two days a week) I guess we'll be well practiced by the time we both give up work (and hopefully we won't drive each other insane!)

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  8. Haha! Love it! I work from home too, but it's a bit odd when other half and daughter are away. I usually go to bed early to read, eat in the living room and generally 'fell' different even though things are pretty much to the same. It's a state of mind isn't it? I sometimes think I'd like to live alone with my cats and pot plants,,,until they come back and I'm so excited to see them! Shared post.

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    1. It's such a strange feeling having the house to yourself when you're used to there always being someone in the background isn't it AJ? I love having my husband around, but there are these little windows where I get to throw conventionality to the wind and just be a bit of a slob, and I love it. It wouldn't be good for me to do long term, and I'd get lonely I'm sure (the cats aren't great conversationalists) but for a few days here and there it's lovely!

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  9. Yes!
    Husby is retired and, though I love him dearly and he is seldom underfoot, I crave my alone time. Just short periods. When there's absolutely nothing being asked of me!

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    1. Exactly Diane - it's lovely having them around for conversation and company, but there are also those times where we just want the house to ourselves and nobody expecting anything of us (real or imagined!)

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  10. Leanne this is so funny, your spirit must have been at my 4th of July party because we were discussing 1. No one uses the word 'spinster' any longer, is it terribly politically incorrect and spinsters in our past and 2. enjoying time alone! My husband is retired now. While I love having him around, he does lots of chores and upkeep, since I work from home....

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    1. I love my husband dearly Haralee, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy my own space too - we're not even retired yet and I have him home all day. He used to miss alone time when he went out to work - now it's my turn! And I think the word 'spinster' is very under appreciated :)

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  11. #2...I still have kids at home so even when my husband is traveling for work I don't get to go full spinster, but #2 is so me. And I'd argue that reading and jigsawing are not "doing nothing." They both take brain power and skill.

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    1. But it's nice to do them without feeling guilty because you "really should" be doing something useful or productive. I love kicking back and letting a whole day slide by and feeling like not much got accomplished. Not something I'd do all the time, but these spinster moments are just delightful.

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  12. Aside from the rare occasions when I troop down to Brissie to show my face in the office or head to Sydney for the same reason, I work full time from home...and my husband is retired. This means that I'm rarely alone. I do get a tad claustrophobic from time to time & that's when I take myself off for a walk. When we were moving to the sunny coast I stayed in Sydney for a couple of months to pack up & work while he and Sarah moved north. It was just the dog and me. I missed them dreadfully, but I didn't feel lonely.

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    1. I'd miss my husband dreadfully if he was away for 2 months too Jo - but when it's a few days here and there, it's like being a teenager again - I've been known to eat breakfast cereal for tea (Brinner) more times than I'm willing to own up to!

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  13. Except for the 14 years of living hell with my ex-husband, I've lived alone almost half my life and have enjoyed it so much. And I would have really loved those 14 years of living alone, because, well, that's how I roll. I'd have been perfectly content being a spinster, but, you know, Leanne, our society just isn't very welcoming to unmarried women who choose to stay that way all their lives. I'm an introvert and a loner but I'm rarely ever bored and never lonely. I get out enough and see enough people for just the right amount of time for me. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy my circle of friends tremendously, but I'm grateful that I don't have to wait for the weekend to chill out and do what I want. I'm glad you have time to be alone and indulge. That's so good for the soul!

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    1. I'd take alone time over a living hell any day Jean. I feel so sorry for people who get trapped in horrible relationships and when they finally come up for air, they've lost years off the prime of their life. I'm glad you reclaimed yours and that you enjoy alone time but still have other relationships to top you up.

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  14. I am never alone. It didn't used to be that way, but now that we are caregivers for my mother, it's the way it is now. But I do miss those days when I could just laze around on the coach or bed with some books and snacks and not have to worry about anyone else.

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    1. Caring for aging parents is a bit like caring for small children isn't it Jennifer? I'm dreading ending up as nursemaid to my mum or MIL - fingers crossed it won't happen - I think it must be my turn to be allowed to lie around reading and snacking regularly without anyone else needing me. I feel your pain xx

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  15. Hi Leanne! I get that sometimes it's nice to be alone but I only need small doses of it. Otherwise Thom and I are just about ALWAYS together. We've been self employed and worked together most of our 41 years and I have a difficult time thinking what life would be without him. BUT...about the only time I really, really need alone time is when writing. He is warned to be quiet and not bother me...and he "tries" to comply. :-) As far as comfy clothes...that's about all I EVER wear...of course that's mostly what he wears too. :-) Glad to hear you enjoyed your alone time. ~Kathy

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    1. I think you and Thom have a particularly special relationship Kathy. I can't imagine being as entwined with someone as you two are - it's kind of enviable and weird at the same time (weird in a nice way though!) Maybe that's the kind of relationship that being child free lends itself too? Missed my chance!

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  16. Love it! I've always adored my alone time and try to grab chunks of it as often as possible. Luckily my husband loves fishing and doesn't mind staying out for days at a time. Haha.

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    1. Mine's a hiker - I encourage him to hit the trail, and every time he starts thinking about heading off I'm there cheering him on and closing the door quietly behind him - more time with the cats :)

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  17. yes I know exactly what you mean - love the alone time - after years of busy family life it is a breath of sweet air - mostly everything I 'do' on my own time I can do with partner around - but it feels different does it not and it is such a treat.
    Now to reclaim the word spinster and being a Mary daly fan here is a definition from the Websters New Intergalactic Wickedary of the English Language conjured by Mary Daly and in cahoots with Jane Caputi ... 'a woman whose occupation is to Spin, to participate in the whirling movement of creation; one who has chosen her Self, who defines her Self by choice neither in relation to children nor to men; one who is Self-identified; a whirling dervish, Spiraling in New Time/Space.

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    1. I think you summed it up perfectly in that we can do anything we like regardless of our partner being around, but it definitely feels like a treat when we get those alone interludes. And I loved that Spinster definition - I think the word has been given much less appreciation than it deserves :)

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  18. When I was married, I longed to be alone. I've long felt that I am a person who is best on her own. When my first marriage ended, I still had 2 kids to raise so it was better, but I was not alone. Then I fell in love again, and soon enough found myself with another spouse. After only 3 years of marriage I became a widow and was able to finally experience living on my own, alone. And I was right - it is better for me to be alone. I am much more peaceful and creative than I have ever been. Yes, it gets lonely sometimes but I will work through this and come up with solutions that get me the little amount of company I actually need without sacrificing my independence and alone time. I realize it's not for everyone, and I might be a bit of a strange bird, but I feel like I am finally living the life I need, instead of making do with the leftovers of a life shared.

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    1. I think I'm somewhere in between Deb - I can certainly see myself living alone if I needed to - I'm not someone who has to be constantly in company, but that being said...I also like having my husband around because he's easy to live with and quite useful (bonus!) The balance is to relish those home alone moments and then I don't resent him always being here these days.

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  19. I totally get this Leanne! All these points you mention I can relate to!! Great fun read 😊

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    1. I think you either get it or you don't Deb - it's nice to know that you can see where I'm coming from! Not full-time aloneness, but really appreciating those silent times where everything is on my own terms :)

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  20. My husband also works from home, and I love that he is so helpful around the house--throwing in a load of laundry, starting dinner, and being there to accept deliveries or meet repair people. I am still working outside of the home, so we have time apart during the day, but I must admit I relish the rare opportunities to have the house to myself in the evenings or on a weekend when he is away.

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    1. You sound like you're in exactly the same place in life as me Christie - and you're right, having them home takes a load off because they can do lots of little things around the house during the day (and I'm sure it discourages the burglars!) But when those random home alone times come, it's a lovely change of routine and nice to kick back and do nothing and not worry about anyone else.

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  21. Hahaha, I related to all of these. Actually in our house it's the other way around because I'm the one at home, and come the weekends I have to up the ante because Dave is very active and loves to be 'doing', and I feel very slothful if I don't join in. I often see the weekends as a time to relax, because actually, during the week I keep myself very busy, but in reality I should take time for spinsterhood during the week and not feel guilty. Yes, to starfish and comfy womfy pants by the way!

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    1. My husband is a doer and a goer too Jo - he really thrives on finding something to occupy his time - whether it's mowing the lawn, or kayaking, or hiking, or whatever, he's always busy - and I feel a bit guilty doing nothing. So when he's not around, the guilt goes too and I kick back and chill out until his return - a pretty good compromise I think!

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  22. A great fun read, Leanne! I'm alone a few times a year and enjoy them all :)

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    1. Exactly Natalie - it doesn't need to be all the time - just little chunks here and there to ourselves - very enjoyable!

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  23. I saw your title and thought spinsterhood? What? No way! I also enjoy time alone in my house. I work from home so it is just the cats and I all day. My husband drives me crazy if he is home during the day. I totally understand your enjoyment of having a little time alone! I would get take out too. Wear those comfy pants with joy!

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    1. Thanks Michele - and I know that spinsterhood isn't the exact word for it, but it made me smile (and I think it's an under-used term). There is just no time for me to feel completely alone any more, so those few days here and there are a kind of down time for me - basically I get to be a sloth without feeling guilty - bliss!

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  24. Oh, I SO understand! I'm the same way. I can occupy myself for days on end, puttering around, reading, gardening, and just spending time with myself. My better half worked from home and was ALWAYS here! I enjoyed the occasional 3 days alone. Then I could dig into some deep cleaning where I pull everything out of the cupboards and don't worry about getting it all put away by the end of the day! (Is it bad to celebrate that they got a job outside of the home and I now get occasional afternoons ALLL to myself!?)

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    1. No it's not bad to celebrate a job away from the home Trisha - I'd be doing a little happy dance if my husband finds a 9-5 job that he has to drive to. Not going to happen - so I appreciate the benefits of him being at home (there are quite a few when I stop and add them up) and then relish the few days here and there that I get completely to myself to do exactly as little as I like.

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  25. I read this with a big ol' smile on my face, Leanne! I do get the luxury of being home with just the dogs most of the day, as hubby still works full time. I plan my day to work from home when he is gone to be more productive. He gets home as early at 3:00pm and he then distracts me from that point unless he heads to the yard or runs errands. We've only been married 5 years so we still like hanging out with each other :) Funny I never thought of this as spinsterhood! I wrote a little about this in my guest post on Sue's blog last month. It can be fun to be alone for a while but eventually I need some people time!

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    1. I've been married for 35 years Terri and I still enjoy his company too - he's much easier to live with than I am! But at the same time, he's always busy and bustling about or working on something in his office. It's the "vibe" that I don't miss when he's away - things slow down and I go into 'cruise' mode and I love it for those few days - then I'd start to miss him.

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  26. Leanne, while I can't quite relate, I enjoyed your comfy pants and starfishing! when we were working, I was the one sometimes traveling and hubby would go to that restaurant I don't like (and he loves) and not shave for days. So I think he would relate more. The only times I've been alone in our home for days & nights is when he's been in the hospital... and that's not a fun time. But we give each other lots of space and I like knowing he's somewhere in the house, even when we are not seeing each other for hours. I don't crave a completely empty house.

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    1. My husband works upstairs so he's not actually under my feet most of the day Pat, but I just like having a little window of time now and then when I can do the things that would normally iritate him - the comfy pants and the takeaway food particularly. When he's not here to see them I can do it all guilt free - maybe even with a nap thrown in!

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  27. Back when I was single Sundays were the hardest days to get through I think because I always associated Sundays with family day. Up till husband got sick I liked the days he played golf or went on golf trips. My big thing was always eating junk food. lol

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    1. I think being single by circumstance is a lot different to being single for a short time by choice Victoria. When you know it's only for a few days you get to revel in it and then go back to normal again. I think I'd find full-time spinsterhood quite a difficult adjustment to make.

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  28. Looks like you have raised quite the conversation here Leanne. in our earlier years of retirement I admit to thinking "I should be doing something" if my husband is around. However, this has gradually changed for the better as we both have our spaces to 'play and create in'. His is music and mine is craft/art. We each sleep in our own rooms and whilst we miss some quiet time of companionship it is for health and body clock reasons we do this. We have completely different food needs at the moment so I have to cook for my mouth which is compromised and he manages his meals. Lately though I have begun to cook him a favourite meal even if I can't eat it and he really appreciates that. I did miss him when he did volunteer work 2 days a week in 2015-2016 but then my mood was sad and I felt I needed his company. Things are not like that now and he is happy for me to go out and about while he watches netflix. We share parts of our day and like the chat about things as life goes on. I have never felt the obligation to make him lunch nor breakfast as he always makes his own.
    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week's optional prompt is What Is Courage? 29/52 Denyse

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    1. I'll be interested to see how we handle retirement Denyse - it feels like we're having a practice run of it while my husband is working from home and I'm only working part-time. It's about getting the timing right - and appreciating the good aspects and letting the annoyances roll away. He does do a LOT of the housework that I always used to do, and he's there to greet me with a coffee when I get home from work - so it definitely has its pluses!
      When we retire there will be more adjustments to make - but that's still a few years away if we don't want to be living under a bridge!

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  29. This is a great topic Leanne. When I was married with a young family, I loved to be alone. My husband would take kids camping, which I did love. But at this stage in my life I just wanted a few days by myself. I still remember very clearly how precious this time was. Now I have a new partner of five years I haven't really thought of time alone. Perhaps the years of being single were enough.

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    1. Maybe you got it out of your system Jennifer? I've never really had a lot of long term time alone - even when my husband was working outside the home, so was I - so I'd only have a day a week when I was home alone. Now I never am - until he goes away for his three days - so I guess I seize those moments with both hands because they're so rare.

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  30. I work from home and set my own schedule - and my husband works Fri-Sun, so we share a Thursday day-off. With a son returning home for the year and my daughter home for the summer -- we are reworking our balance and I right now I'm feeling like I may never have the house to myself again. LOL. But I also know when I'm totally alone from Friday-Sunday (especially if the weather is bad), I sometimes need to turn on the tv to not feel too isolated. I think it is all about balance...

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    1. Balance is definitely the key Janet - when our kids come for a visit it's always lovely to see them and I want them to stay forever, but after they leave and the quiet descends, I really enjoy the peace too. I think it's the same with my husband being home all the time - I love having him around, but when he goes away for those few days every now and then, I enjoy the peace and the personal space (I think there's a little bit of an introvert in me somewhere!)

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  31. I've always needed some alone time. When the kids went to school and husband went to work, when everyone was home I'd get up at the crack of dawn. There was a time when husband was working out of the home and I grew in independence when he was away. Now that I've downsized to a small apartment in retirement, I've achieved a nice balance of alone time and people time. As you put it, Leanne, I don't think I could stand having someone 'always home' with me. :)
    www.meinthemiddlewrites.com

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    1. I think we all need time with people and time alone Mary Lou - when we get too much of one or the other we start to feel the need to readjust the balance. That's where those few days every three months make all the difference for me.

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  32. I can so relate to your introduction! I'm such an independent person and used to doing my own thing and living alone that when my then bf moved in with me, it really rattled me. Suddenly I had zero alone time, because he's an introvert and will do anything he can to get out of leaving the apartment for anything at all. It's definitely an adjustment period. #LifeThisWeek

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    1. That would have made a big difference to how you approached your home time Katherine - we all enjoy company and having the person we love home with us, but too much of a good thing can really start to wear you down. Good luck with finding your new "normal" x

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  33. As an only child, I've always enjoyed time alone!! Having cereal for dinner....singing to myself...you know, all those things!!
    But I have to admit that if I have to have anyone around all the time, at least I picked the right person for my hubby---he's a gem!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    www.jtouchofstyle.com

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    1. My husband is pretty great too Jodie - he does more than his fair share of everything these days and I love him being easy to live with. But.....I also like having my own little bit of time to myself and that's hard to find these days - so a few days here and there is a pleasant interlude.

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  34. Oh I love my time alone too (and I don't even have cats to feed). I love my man dearly but I also enjoy time to just move at my own speed and as you say eat what I want (mmmm pasta and more pasta please) and have time to think (or not think at all). It is really important to have that time and I feel for any couples who don't know the benefit of time alone. Pinning this xx

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    1. Hi Jan - thanks so much for the thumbs up in regard to this. I thought I might be the only person who was married to a terrific guy but still needed a bit of breathing space. I guess some of us just need that little bit of extra space now and then.

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  35. My relationship with my husband is the exact opposite. I am more the doer and have so many projects that keep me busy I don't make time to sit and watch television. Geoff, on the other hand, has the same spiritual gift as you :) Sometimes I worry how life will be once he is retired and home full-time... but hopefully we will have our schedules worked out by then. We have three more years (!)
    I've never heard of "star-fishing" but what an apt description :)

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  36. I agree with your cats: the comfort pants look great.

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I love it when you leave a comment and I reply to them all.

If you'd like to have a conversation, feel free to email me any time - leanne.lecras@gmail.com