HAVE YOU DISCOVERED THE POWER OF POSITIVITY?

Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife

EMBRACING POSITIVE THINKING

Today it's all about the letter "P" in my List of More - and it's "P" for Positivity - one of my favourite words. After such a long period of feeling stressed and under pressure, it's been wonderful to move forward and leave that all behind me. I think the key has been Positivity - it's such a powerful concept and has the ability to completely change how we see our lives and the world around us. So many women in Midlife are worried about being invisible, or wondering what they have to offer. Approaching things from a positive outlook changes this around and opens our eyes to how wonderful this stage of life can be if we let it.

My husband is a family counselor and he is a huge advocate of the power of positive thinking. The more we wire our brain with positive thoughts, the more we change our view of our circumstances. It's not magic, or a miracle, it's a gradual readjustment to the way we approach  life. And as I've given time and attention to thinking about all the good in my life and being grateful, I can see what a change it has made. 

My 50's have seen the end of several preconceived ideas and the beginning of a few new ones:

WE'RE NOT INVISIBLE:

I began my 50's with the concept that Midlife (or being "middle aged" - how old does that sound?!) was the time where we fade into the wallpaper and we're no longer seen or valued by those around us. I thought it was the time when you admitted you had nothing new to offer and might as well sit back and watch others getting things done - basically it was the beginning of becoming the Invisible Woman. How wrong I was! 

What dawned on me one day was the fact that we're as visible as we choose to be. We don't have to compete with those young, gorgeous women - instead we can shine in our own way. A simple smile and eye contact is a great start - people respond when you show interest in them and I love the saying "It's better to be the one who smiled than the one who didn't smile back". Everyone loves to be noticed and if we engage with them and give them some time and a positive comment (or even a compliment!) we become more visible and there's no fading away into the background.

 Better to be the one who smiled, than the one who didn't smile back

MIDLIFE IS A NEW BEGINNING:

Another misconception I had about Midlife was that it was the end of being interesting and having much to offer. I thought it was a time where you admitted you couldn't keep up with all the new changes and technology, and just sat back and watched the "young things" take over. I assumed that I'd be stuck in the same job forever and that life was basically pretty much "same old, same old" from here on out. But then I discovered blogging, and it brought with it a gift of positivity that I never expected.

As I met other wonderful women in their 50's and 60's online, I saw them sharing their lives and their interests and none of them were boring or invisible. They were living full and engaging lives - often discovering parts of themselves they didn't know they'd lost along the way (while they were being all things for everyone else in their lives). Some were working, some retired, but all doing life on their own terms. Connecting with this vibe opened my eyes to all that I still have to offer, it showed me that I could risk changing jobs, then risk quitting completely, and it also showed me I could offer my thoughts and make a difference. People are still very open to Midlifers if we're positive, upbeat, and relevant - and it's not hard to have those qualities if you care and keep in touch with life.

THE EMPTY NEST IS A BLESSING:

I've seen so many women who mourn because their nest is empty - the fledglings have flown and they feel there's no role for "Mum" anymore. Our adult kids hate it when we're sad, lost and lonely without them - they don't like feeling guilty and responsible for the happiness of their parents. It's their time to spread their wings without us holding them back. The secret to having a happy empty nest is look at it from a positive perspective. There are many blessings associated with a child-free home - and I wrote about five of those benefits a while ago.

The empty nest provides us with time to reconnect with our partner, to enjoy some freedom, to appreciate our grandbabies, to rediscover our own interests, and so much more. Sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves and waiting to be visited isn't going to achieve anything (other than a miserable face that nobody wants to see!) I've written many posts on how to enjoy your empty nest and you can access them from my "Empty Nest" label at the top of my blog. Basically it's about choosing to let go graciously and embracing this new stage of life and all it has to offer - being positive makes all the difference in the world.

CHOOSE A POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE

So many women look at Midlife as the beginning of the end. I was heading in that direction until I opened my eyes and looked at all the positives that have come my way in my 50's. I have a life that is flexible, and I'm able to decide who and what I give my time and attention to. On top of that I have the added blessing of a blog that is connecting me with all sorts of amazing women who have become my friends and encouragers.

Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife

I'm discovering who I truly am as a person - not who I think I should be to keep other people happy, but who I am under all the expectations (most of which I had heaped on myself). I am innately happy and upbeat these days, if my life was a garden, it would be blooming. I don't need anyone to come and plant flowers for me, I'm too busy planting my own and it feels like my garden is alive and thriving. No bitterness or dryness is going to get in there and kill stuff off - because I'm going to keep being positive - I think that's what waters the soil.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Are you embracing positivity and the power it brings into your life? Are you loving Midlife and the Empty Nest? I really hope that this age and stage is as special for you as it is for me - and if it's not, then let me know because I'd love to help you find the positivity that's missing in your life.

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Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife

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Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife
Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife
Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife
Have you been caught up in the negative stereotypes of Midlife? It's time to discover the power of positive thinking that can turn your invisibility into connection and joy. #power #positive #midlife

16 comments

  1. Hi, Leanne - Thank you for another inspiring post. When we have the choice of choosing positivity over negativity, why wouldn't we choose the former? :)

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    1. My thoughts exactly Donna - but so many of us get sucked down into "poor me" thinking if we're not careful. I think sometimes we forget that life has both ups and downs, and choosing our attitude makes all the difference.

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  2. You’ll find it even more so when you hit your 60s. I abandoned being concerned about what others felt as I got near to my 60s when I really felt that I “had my head together” after an adult life of being doubtful and insecure personally (but not professionally). So I stopped dying my hair about 6 yrs ago and don’t give a 2nd thought to walking around in my short (but not pornographically short) shorts with my giggly thighs for all the world to see. When I had muscular non-giggly thighs i was concerned about what people would think looking at them and now I am SURE no one paid attention. All those wasted years being concerned about nothing (or stupid stuff when I look back on it now)!

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    1. I know exactly what you mean Luisa, I'm only just starting to embrace that same journey of just being "me" and letting the rest take care of itself. So many women waste the best years of their life in the trap of seeking approval (I was one of them) and it's good to not waste the second half of mine worrying so much about extraneous opinions!

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  3. Leanne, I love the garden metaphor! I am definitely a practice positivity person these days. And it still is a work in progress. I was a very cynical, judgmental, nothing ever good enough, glass-half-empty girl. In fact, I had a boss once tell me I would never be happy. (I still remember that! ) But I am quite happy these days. I am very content with where my life is. In fact I think I am healthier now - in mind, body and spirit, than I've ever been! I am a firm believer in how your mindset impacts everything.... so I choose to have a positive mindset.

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    1. Hi Pat - I would never have picked you for a Negative Nelly! You must have come a long way in the last several years - obviously retirement has been good to you :) Choosing our attitude is definitely the way to go - how we approach what life hands to us is the key to how well we cope and how we move through it. I choose positivity and I choose to not look back with regret - I feel like we need to process stuff that happens to us and then leave it behind - throw the match and burn the bridge - and then forward ever forward!!

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  4. I need to be better at choosing positivity but I must admit - so far - I haven't felt invisible. I suspect I might be to those outside of my circle but I don't tend to notice that at the moment. It'll be interesting to see whether age is (ultimately) raised as an issue in my job hunt.

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    1. I think age definitely comes into play over 50 when you're looking for a job Deb. Sometimes it works in our favour because they want a "mature" employee, other times they want someone who is younger, more vibrant, "perkier" or whatever. Nobody actually says it, but there's an age vibe happening for sure (speaking from experience)!

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  5. I think positivity is a choice and even when I face challenges, I always like to look for a silver lining. I choose to practice positivity because it is good for my health and I think it makes me good to be around. I've actually found it easier to be positive than negative. Being positive energises me while negativity just drains my batteries!

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    1. I'm the same Sam - crap happens to everyone and it all eventually boils down to how you want to deal with it. Do you let the turkeys get you down or do you kick them in the butt? I'm all for some turkey butt kicking these days :)

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  6. Excellent post. Many times in my life I've had to summon the courage to say 'the first day of the rest of my life'; or 'the only way is up' so important to stress a positive vibe into the younger generation. Well done
    Pamela
    https://www.style-yourself-confident.com

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    1. Hi Pamela - thanks for stopping by and yes, you're right - I've had to do the same thing because we choose to move forward or we sit and wallow. Wallowing is such a downer and achieves nothing - just treading water and feeling sorry for ourselves. I'd rather turn my face to the sun and choose to leave all the bad stuff behind. It's a tough battle sometimes, but always worth it in the end.

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  7. I only use invisibility to suit me and then it is fun. I have eschewed labels even though they seem to identlfy us someway. I use 'retired' and 'head and neck cancer patient' and 'blogger along with my family roles, but generally I see myself now as Denyse. I used to think all positive thinking stuff did not help but I now know that putting a positive or at least a reversing of the negative thought helps me more. Very interesting watching you 'grow' this way Leanne since i have followed your blog.

    Thank you for linking up for Life This Week. Next week the optional prompt is Taking Stock, I hope you can join in again. Denyse.

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    1. Hi Denyse - it's definitely a process isn't it? I don't think we consciously realize how important it is to "choose our attitude" until we see the results when we do. I've come to see that we can't stop bad stuff happening at times - health, other people, aging etc - but we can choose whether we let it get us down or whether we look for the silver lining (which was the title of your guest post for me about your cancer!)

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  8. I want to be proactive about this because it's not my default. With so many changes coming with midlife, it's crucial that we trust for grace to receive everything as a gift.

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    1. You're right Michele - and approaching our 50's and 60's with positivity is the first step in the process of being gracious and not becoming faded, old, or sour - I can't think of a worse fate myself - so it's positivity all the way for me :)

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