GIVING THE GIFT OF "ME TIME"

We are all becoming aware of the importance of "Me Time" but have you considered passing on the gift of "Me Time" to someone you care about? #midlife #wellness

Today I have my Blogging Buddy Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 and Beyond as my guest. She offered to write on the Letter "M" for "Me Time" and I love how she's taken a step back to look at how we can use "Me Time" in a whole new context.

THE GIFT OF ‘ME’ TIME

The idea of ‘ME’ Time has become a popular topic for bloggers and writers lately, albeit an important one. I hope that because we read about it so often that we haven’t become complacent and ignored the health benefits of taking time for ourselves. We all need time to reflect, restore and just enjoy time doing exactly what we want – it is imperative for our mental health and wellbeing.

BUT…….


Today I’m NOT writing about ‘ME’ time for ourselves but rather 
GIVING THE GIFT OF ‘ME’ TIME to those we love.

THREE WORTHY RECIPIENTS

I recently asked three women in their 30s (including my daughter) how they would use the special Gift of ‘ME’ Time. Two are working mothers trying to combine busy careers and family and the third is a Mum of an almost 1 year old.

I’m sharing their thoughts and ideas and would like to challenge all of us more mature women to think about WHO you could give the Gift of Me Time.


RACHEL

Rachel, my daughter, is the mother of two adorable boys, Ethan 5 and Elliot 1. She recently returned to work after parental leave. Rachel has worked very hard to achieve a challenging and rewarding career, but I notice that since she has returned to work, her ‘ME’ time which was always minimal is totally non-existent. Although she has a very supportive husband, Ian who is currently taking time off work to be the primary carer and stay -at-home Dad, life is still hectic.

When I asked Rachel the question about how she would use the Gift of ‘ME’ Time her first response was:

ME time….so the challenge is: getting that gift would be awesome but how do you remove the feelings of guilt that you should be doing something else or spending time with the boys?

GUILT - that feeling is ever present isn’t it and I know that all women feel this dilemma – allowing ourselves to enjoy something just for us.

When I pressed Rachel, she came up with 6 ways she would use her gift

  • Go to the Doctor for a range of reasons that aren’t urgent so therefore I don’t prioritise (I hadn’t expected this one from her!)
  • Run
  • Catch up with a friend for coffee


  • Wander around the shops
  • Sit and have a coffee and read
  • Get my hair and nails done

ERIN

Erin is a Dietitian, married with two children and runs her own business. She provided me with a different concept for ‘Me time’ and in her words:

I tend to think of the time as "self nurturing" rather than me time. If we think of it as a scale, and at one end we have selflessness [putting everyone else's needs above our own] and at the other end is selfishness [putting our needs above everyone else’s]. Women, particularly mothers, tend to view any movement away from selflessness [some Me time] as going to the extreme - being selfish. Self nurturing sits in the middle. This tends to be an easier concept for people to get on board with and adopt.

Things that I do to self nurture:

  • Spend time in my garden weekly, either working or admiring. This is the #1 thing that puts fuel back in my tank.
  • every 5 weeks I take Friday off and go and get my hair done

  • every month I take a Saturday morning to go and get a manicure
  • every morning I get up at 5am and spend 1.5 hours ALONE, before anyone else in the house gets up
  • I also really love spending time working on my business. While at times it is challenging, it is mostly rewarding, and I love the feeling I get from making achievements with my business’s development and growth
  • Investing in a marketing and business coach was also something I did that I saw as an opportunity to nurture myself. It was a significant financial investment while my business is still in its infancy, but I saw the value in it nurturing my development professionally.


SARAH

Sarah is a Mum of Emilia and also daughter of Debbie from Deb’s World.
  • A massage!
  • An appointment with a physio to get to the root of the cause of my back pain.
  • Use the gift voucher for a restaurant from Ben’s work mates before Emilia was born - and it expires in August.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

None of these ideas or desires are unachievable but however small, they would bring pleasure to these three women. I was concerned though that they put off medical appointments and actually regard them as ‘ME’ time. I’m sure we were the same when we were younger Mothers but that doesn’t mean it was right.

I’m sure you know someone like Rachel, Erin and Sarah. Who can you give the GIFT OF ‘ME’ TIME to?


RELATED POSTS






Sue Loncaric is an Australian Over 50 lifestyle blogger, certified health and life coach for women and the founder of Sizzling Towards Sixty & Beyond. Currently studying her Certificate III in Fitness, Sue is passionate about living a full and active life in Midlife & Beyond. Her mission is to encourage and inspire women Over 50 to live a fit, fabulous, healthier and happier lifestyle by guiding them to realise their full potential.

Website: www.sizzlingtowardssixty.com.au
Facebook: Sizzling Towards 60 and Beyond 
+ Thriving Health and Wellness
Instagram: www.instagram.com/sizzlingtowards60


We are all becoming aware of the importance of "Me Time" but have you considered passing on the gift of "Me Time" to someone you care about? #midlife #wellness
We are all becoming aware of the importance of "Me Time" but have you considered passing on the gift of "Me Time" to someone you care about? #midlife #wellness

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38 comments

  1. What a beautiful way to give the gift of ME Time to someone we love. And often, just being available to completely listen to another (without judgement) can be the greatest gift that we can give

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    1. Hi Donna I agree that being available to listen is important. I know Rachel will call and 'vent' to me because we have a special relationship where she can just be herself - no matter the mood and chat about life in general. She always feels better after a chat with Mum. I'm hoping to arrange my gift to her soon although she has quite a bit of travel for work at the moment so any time off she wants to spend with her boys. xx

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    2. Hi Donna - isn't this a lovely element of Midlife that we have more free time to be able to share with others? I'm loving this version of Me Time that Sue's discussed and it's a great reminder to keep investing ourselves in others who may need that extra little bit of support.

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  2. This was such a generous and joyful post Leanne and Sue - and a beautiful, caring way of looking at Me time. What a great way of looking at Me time, and I am definitely trying to help Sarah out with her requests! Thanks so much for sharing these stories and showing us how we can help others as they go through this challenging time of their lives. Giving the gift of time is a fabulous way of looking at it xx

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    1. Hi Deb! Yes I'm definitely going to try to organise something for Rachel. I know we went through the same challenges when we were young mothers but it doesn't mean we can't give a thoughtful gift like this. Thank you to Sarah for her contribution too. xx

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    2. Hi Deb - it was lovely of Sarah to add her thoughts to Sue's post. I think young mums today have a lot of pressure on them to keep up with everything, so being able to give them a small break from that occasionally is a lovely gift indeed.

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  3. Thank you Leanne for having Sue as your guest. A great topic and I love Sue's take on "Me time" Very thoughtful and poignant responses from the ladies. I think a common denominator is scheduling in Me time or we become last on the list or not on the list. Alone time is also important. Guilt is often huge as a Mom, and I think we retain some of these guilt feelings in different ways as caregivers even when we get older. I have some additional comments on Sue's site, too. Thank you for sharing:)

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    1. Hi Erica, yes I agree that alone time is important and something that I don't have much of really, but when I do I cherish it. It is so difficult to rid our minds of the guilt and just enjoy being ourselves and doing something for us. It doesn't mean we are less as a person, or love our family less but it actually means we are doing something to help us be a better version of ourselves and our family benefits from that as well. xx

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    2. Alone time was non-existant back in my mothering days Erica - I was either at work or with my family. I relish the time I have for myself these days and love it if I can share parts of it investing in a conversation with a friend or family member.

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  4. Both of you lovely and inspirational ladies in one post. What a treat! Excellent post. I especially enjoyed seeing the thought that: Self nurturing sits in the middle.
    Thank you both, Leanne & Sue!

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    1. Oh thank you Trisha and yes Leanne is my Best Blogging Buddy so I'm always happy and honoured to be her guest. I loved Erin's contribution and she certainly seems to have her priorities in the right perspective. x

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    2. Oh Trisha what a lovely compliment and yes I was blessed to have Sue contribute to my series - and I loved the direction she took it in (quite different to what I expected but very on point). x

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  5. Thanks BBB for having me as your guest. I'm so pleased I took a different angle to 'Me Time' because it is obvious that the next generation are still struggling with guilt as well. I as pleased to put the spotlight on this and hopefully we can all give the gift to someone who could really use it. x

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    1. Hi BBB - you did a great job and I definitely agree that this next generation is doing a huge job trying to keep all the balls in the air with work and motherhood and all the added pressure of SM and expectations. It was a fantastic approach to this topic xx

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  6. I have 'me' time at the moment, but no 'me' money. Alas. But I'm feeling particularly sore and stiff so a massage would be heaven.

    When I first started reading this though (Leanne and Sue) I thought of my mum and was thinking 'me' time as in time you give yourself to someone else. And I was thinking that I try to remain conscious that (I think!!!) my mum enjoys the time I spend with her (and her with me) where we just hang out and talk about stuff. And it's not about chores or things we HAVE to do. (Her needing my help with computer stuff or lifting things, and me not needing her to do domestic stuff I struggle with!)

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    1. You're so right Deb - it's definitely about discerning what the real need is and sharing ourselves on that level. I know that my daughter/DIL/Mum/MIL all have different needs and what would be appreciated by one would not necessarily be valued by the other. I think if we're aware of that, then we know where to best use our time x

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    2. Spending time with your mum Deb is a lovely way to give your 'me time'. Treasure those moments where you just hang out and talk about anything. x

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  7. Erin, I can relate to your me time being first thing in the morning. I get up early too and that time to exercise, scroll on my phone and have a shower is essential to my wellbeing.

    SSG xxx

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    1. I'm like Erin too, SSG I like early morning as I'm the only one awake at this time and it is my time to do as I wish. x

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    2. I'm pretty useless in the mornings these days, but I can certainly relate to those who grab that precious hour or so to have some time to themselves!

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  8. This is so thoughtful. We have our godchildren for a sleep over in the school holidays so their mum (and dad) get some "me" and "we" time together. I think it's so important and the gift of "me time" is literally priceless!

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    1. Hi Sammie, sometimes we just have to step back and think of what others would like don't we? As you say the gift of 'me time' is priceless. xx

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    2. My son and DIL enjoy their visits down to us too Sam - for exactly the same reasons - they get to chill out while we do the "kid stuff" and they often take some time to go off and spend a few childless hours together - something that's so valuable to young parents.

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  9. Hi Sue and Leanne,
    Me Time was almost non-existent for me as a working mom and wife. With the exception of getting my nails done regularly, every waking moment was spent in doing/thinking about the career, the boys, the husband, the home. Literally. And I did feel guilty if I was not actively engaged in doing something for them.
    Now the boys are grown and we have retired and downsized. This is this first time in my life that I take time for me. And it's a good thing.

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    1. Good for you taking the time for yourself now. It is never too late. We just have to remember that we are important and what we need is important too. Getting your nails done is a lovely way to spend 'me time'. No interruptions :)

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    2. I know exactly what you mean! I felt the same way - work, kids, commitments, work, kids.... ad infinitum. I love the time I have now for myself and I'm happy to give a bit of that to my own kids when they need it (because I have a lot more of it to spare these days!)

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  10. I loved reading that and that each woman has her own idea of Me time. I think as a mum (and full time teacher also studying part time for degrees) the concept of me time was one I would HAVE to orchestrate myself before I burned out.The school holidays gave me some respite (and my parents were always happy to have the kids) . I also engaged a cleaner who ironed and that meant I did not feel as encumbered by weekends devoted to chores.

    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week's optional prompt is Self-Care Sharing Your Story. I hope you will consider linking up again. Denyse.

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    1. Hi Denyse, Rachel has a cleaner because I just think that is something when you are working full time and with a family you need. She would rather spend the money and free up her weekends to spend the time with her children. I would like her not to feel guilty though about spending some time doing something just for her. x

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    2. I've never had a cleaner (or iron-er) Denyse but I do have a very helpful husband who has always pulled his weight around the house. Working, kids, outside commitments, household chores, cooking (and very little family support) I wonder how we did it back in our day!

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  11. I remember when I was that age and juggling motherhood and full time work. I invested in a cleaner so that on the weekends it was all about Sarah and Grant. Having said that I was pretty good in those days at taking time for a regular facial or to get my hair done - although with hair like mine that falls into the maintenance category. I recall I used to enjoy work travel - even though there was plenty of guilt involved - because it also came with some transit alone time. The guilt is a tough one to get past.

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    1. I don't think I had any "Me Time" at all when I was a young parent Jo - an occasional visit to the hairdresser and that was it. I was so busy keeping the home fires burning and the wolf away from the door, that I completely forgot about myself in the process. I would have loved to have had a gift of Me Time now and then (though I probably wouldn't have known what to do with it!)

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  12. Absolutely! Now that I'm not working, I'm able to spend a lot of time supporting my girls so they can have some 'me time' for themselves, which is so important when you're a busy mum to little ones. I think this role is just as if not more important and valuable than being productive in paid employment. And I know it's absolutely valued, and sometimes helps to ward off insanity. Time is precious indeed and gifting it is a great thing to be able to do.

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    1. The gift of grandparent time pays back twofold doesn't it Christine? We give the parents some space, the kids some variety - and we get to have that precious time with them. I love it when our grandgirls visit - their parents get a breather for a few days and we get saturated with kiddie stuff before waving goodbye and taking a well earned break until the next time!

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  13. What a great idea to hear from a variety of women on what they would do with the gift of me time. Thanks Leanne and Sue! I can relate to much of what they have said. I remember the days when I was working full time, running around after three kids, running a home, trying to keep fit, cook healthy meals, be involved in the schools, and so on. I had zero me time really and I suffered for it. Though life is not as busy now, I tend to make it busy and still need to be mindful of having some down time/me time. I like to get my hair done every 7 weeks. I love a spa pedicure and manicure. I like a massage now and then. I love to meet up with friends for brekky or lunch. I also like to just stop everything and go read a book or crochet. When my kids have kids, I'd love to gift them some 'me time' during those busy days. #TeamLovinLife

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    1. I wish I'd had some Me Time when I was younger too Min - there just wasn't even the concept of it back then - it would have been thought of as absolutely selfish to go off and have my nails done while someone looked after the kids. It's different now and I think it's such a blessing to be able to give a young mum a break and a bit of headspace for a few hours - and it's bonus grandparent time (something you're going to love when your time comes!)

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  14. I hope these young women do give themselves the gift of "me time." I wish I had understood it better when I was younger, it would have saved me from a lot of stress and overwork. It is never too late though, and now I prioritize time to myself.

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  15. I totally agree with Erin. As women we have such a hard time with me time. I love her scale analogy

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  16. Thanks Sue and Leanne. How very interesting to see how different ladies would like to spend some 'me time.' It probably would be good to have this as a wider survey.
    We will love to feature this post in the next Blogger's Pit Stop.
    Kathleen

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