
LIFE BECOMES WHAT WE LOOK FOR
I mentioned in my Word of the Year post last week that looking for joyful moments is the key to creating delight in my life. What I've come to see is that our life (and the world in general) is full of flowers and weeds - literally and figuratively. To live with delight involves the Frequency Illusion where we choose what we focus our attention on, we look for the flowers and ignore the weeds - or deal with them when necessary.Today I thought I'd look a little more deeply at the flowers and the weeds....
THE LITERAL FLOWERS AND WEEDS
One of my daily delights is to take a morning walk around our neighbourhood. I live in a small enclave of about 500 people, and the majority love their homes and tend to their gardens with care. But.... there are still the inevitable homeowners who are too busy, or too incapacitated, or too lazy to put in the care and attention that a well tended garden deserves. As I walk I find myself looking at those weedy, dry yards and being quietly irritated - I used to wonder to myself why people didn't put in the effort to have a tidy, green lawn and garden to come home to.But, over the last year or so I've turned that around and I'm choosing to look past those dingy yards (which are in the minority anyway) and I'm turning my focus towards the many beautiful yards I walk past. I admire the green mown lawns, the budding flowers, the pretty borders, and it makes my heart happy. I'm not the garden police, and I can't change how people maintain their gardens - so instead, I look past the weeds and focus on all the flowers....there's so many lovely blooms just waiting to be noticed - and that brings me joy.
THE FIGURATIVE FLOWERS AND WEEDS
I saw a great little note on Facebook a while ago about the weeds in our
life:
I like the idea of pulling out some of those weeds that choke and strangle
us, and replacing them with space and margin to breathe. Choosing carefully
what we allow into our lives so that we have things we love and time to enjoy
them - to wander around our life's garden and smell the roses. I think we
have more time in the second half of life to water what's important and to
remove some of the thistles and creepers - to focus on the flowers and dig
out or mow down the weeds.

IS IT A FLOWER OR A WEED?
One last thought about flowers and weeds is that we can choose to see a
situation as a weed and be irritated by it, or we can look for the flower.
We get to decide if something is good or bad, a difficulty or a challenge. I
want to find the wildflowers over the weeds - I also want to see the roses and not always get tangled up in the thorns.
I'm making it my challenge for the year to delight in the flowers and to
deal with any weeds that come my way - it's completely up to me whether I
choose to ignore them, to walk past them, or to pull them out....or maybe to
see the beauty in them instead of the annoyance.
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via Think Positive Power |
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are you finding delight in the roses and wildflowers? Or are you feeling
a little overwhelmed by the thorns and thistles of life? I'm wishing you
delight and joy in the week ahead - full of flower and very few
weeds.
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Love this!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad - it was a little revelation to me, in that so much of life is up to me and how I choose to view things. :)
DeleteOne of my favorite posts of yours yet. At times, I am guilty of walking through our neighborhood focusing only on the houses that are not well kept, with weedy yards. We get so little water that allowing weeds to grow a foot or two high takes some time. But sure as I comment or make a face about someone else's weeds, my yard comes to life with its own abundance of these pesky plants. Reminds me of that Bible verse - paraphrased - "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
ReplyDeleteWe are struggling to grow grass on the west side of our house and have planted...weeds over there. Clover, actually. But I would normally consider it a weed!! Have decided that at least it is green and a hearty ground cover!! One man's weed is another woman's grass.
Finally, have gotten to wear I can't bear to pull flowering weeds (other than dandelions) because they are just too cute. And around here, it is hard to grow flowers!!
Appreciate the thoughts in the graphic from Simplify Days. I tend to be a glass half full kinda gal but need to quit focusing on the thorns so I can enjoy the roses. Thank you for this reminder. XO
Hi Leslie - I loved your "One man's weed is another woman's grass." Water is expensive here in Western Australia too, and I know a lot of people don't water their yards to save money, many don't maintain things because it's all too hard, or they don't care - none of that is my business or concern. I remind myself how grateful I am for all the beautifully kept gardens there are - now I purposely turn my attention to them and ignore what's not mine to worry about!
DeleteI think if we all worked on becoming the best version of ourselves and stopped judging other people's efforts, the world would be a much lovelier place - and a much gentler one too. x
Hi, Leanne - Thank you for another uplifting post. I wholeheartedly agree that what we focus on, we often get more of. I've had a good start to the new year so far and it looks like you have too. I'm also wishing you joy and delight in the weeks ahead. <3
ReplyDeleteHi Donna - I just keep reminding myself to turn my attention to what's good and what's lovely (or delightful) and to just let the rest be whatever it is. Things impact us more if we allow them to - and I'm choosing to not allow it. I'm zooming my lens in on the things worth my attention, and letting the rest go - not my circus, not my monkeys!
DeleteThis sentiment has always been a favorite of mine Leanne, looking for the flowers not the weeds. A great post that explains living with joy perfectly. I also love the frequency illusion concept. Thanks for sharing another lovely post!
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - I've liked the idea for several years too, but I also really appreciated the idea of getting rid of our little life weeds that choke our joy too. So much is able to be improved on if we are intentional in what is ours, and not embroiling ourselves in stuff that isn't. :)
DeleteI love this post Leanne! I’m going to spend today focusing on the flowers and not the weeds! I’ll see how I get on as I imagine it’s going to take some practice! Hopefully I can then continue to do this every day and turn it into a great new habit!
ReplyDeleteIt definitely takes practice! I'm a great one for letting a weedy patch affect my view of a whole day - now I'm working at spotting those weeds and intentionally looking the other way and hoping to glimpse a flower or two in the process.
DeleteThis is a lovely metaphor. While I have some work to do to clear the weeds in my life, in many cases there's more flowers than weeds. I built a new rose garden with a rockery last summer. I thought my plan with weed mat and ground covering plants would mostly solve the weed problem, but at the end of the year I saw that weeds were growing happily, coming not from roots, but from seeds in the air, landing on top of the weed mat. I couldn't help but laugh! And I'm trying to think that if they take root so fast, then there must be some good healthy soil that will make the roses happy too. I have a plan now to cover the worst areas with gravel. There will still be work to do but while picking the weeds, at least there will be the roses to enjoy!
ReplyDeleteAnd some of the most invasive weeds have some lovely flowers!
I loved how you included social media in the "weeds of life" list. I had an interesting experience recently. After the hard times I had before Christmas, I felt exhausted and during the holidays I barely opened social media. And I've felt some peace and quiet coming back to my life, with less overthinking and worry. Then one day I opened my Instagram, followed some links to Threads, and felt that exhaustion coming back. After that I've been reconsidering whether or not there's a point staying on those platforms. I'm mostly still there to not let people down who are following me! (perhaps could be categorised as "people-pleasing"?)
Hi Susanne - I hope you take some photos of those roses once they're in full bloom. We've had a really good rose season here and walking past rose gardens has definitely brightened my day.
DeleteI know exactly what you mean about social media - and even to some extent, the blogging world. There's a lot of "look at me" and compare and despair that we can get caught up in if we're not in a good head space. I'm very proactive about curating what I participate in, and what I read. It's easier to not go there than to feel that I'm not doing it well.
Hi Leanne. I'm focusing on all the flowers and glimmers, in my lfe, right now, and getting rid of all the weeds, and negativity. Cheers to a great year ahead. ♥️ Christina Daggett
ReplyDeleteHi Christina - you're a shining example of focusing on what you can influence and letting the rest be what it will be. I think sitting in a patch of weeds and dwelling on how prickly they are is a sure way to feel like life is miserable and we're hard done by. Moving past those weeds and stopping to appreciate a flower or two makes all the difference. xx
DeleteSome literal anecdotes re: flowers/weeds but certainly abundant with metaphor: my young nephew came to my rural property & exclaimed, "Aunty Mona's so lucky. Look at all her flowers!" as he viewed the dandelions. Then there's my mom's reflection - a weed is just a perennial gone amok. Apparently dandelions were introduced to N America as a cash crop! And there's not one part of it that isn't useful. I have even taken to drinking dandelion root tea. In the eye of the beholder.
ReplyDeleteThat's a perfect analogy Mona - I think we forget about the benefits of weeds at times - they allow us to decide whether something is really useless or if it has a purpose - even if that purpose is to show us what we don't want in our lives.
DeleteIf we never have to deal with weeds, we can become a little superficial and shallow - weeds can be the catalyst for curating our own garden more productively.
I find delight in flowers, but unfortunately it's a cold winter here in the UK at the moment (we've just had a week of snow, freezing rain and ice), so there's no abundance of flowers. However, it's that time of year when the snowdrops start making an appearance and that's always a welcome sight!
ReplyDeleteHi Nikki - I always get a little nonplussed by how different the seasons are on the opposite side of the world. Snow is just a fairytale for me :) I do think it's another example of something that can drag us down or lift our spirits - depending on how we view it, and on how much impact we allow it to have. And I bet those snowdrops are appreciated even more after dealing with all the cold and inconvenience - they're the harbingers of warm days ahead.
DeleteBeing among gardeners on a regular basis, they are known for saying "A weed is just a flower growing in the wrong place". So many things considered weeds are native wildflowers, which are not necessarily the prettiest of plants, but amazing for a healthy ecosystem. That said, yes, I pull those flowers-in-the-wrong place on a regular basis!
ReplyDeleteHi Pat - I think we all need to curate what we have in our life's garden - the physical one and the internal one. One person's flower can be another person's weed - we're all different and I think that's why I try to focus on the gardens that bring me joy and leave the other yards for their owners to worry about :)
DeleteLeanne, thanks for the reminder that we may not always recognize the 'weeds' that creep in and tip the balance of a joyful life. Diligence is key.
ReplyDeleteI like that thought Suzanne - we can all put up with a few weeds here and there, but if we hit a tipping point and they begin to overwhelm us, we really do need to decide what needs to be pulled up to allow room for what matters to grow and thrive.
DeleteIt really is a perception thing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'm actually quite stunned by how much of a difference it makes with a slight shift in perception - so much of life reflects what we choose to focus on and how we choose to respond. :)
DeleteRight now I am definitely delighting in the roses and wildflowers, Leanne. And I appreciate the reminder that when the weeds pop up, I have choices about how to deal with them.
ReplyDeleteHow good is it when life is going well Christie? I love it when I can relax into the goodness and have a break from all the little niggles. Enjoy those roses. x
DeleteLeanne,
ReplyDeleteGreat post on choosing to find and look for the JOY in your life...My theme for the year is Joy and my WOTY is hope..I too will be looking past all those weeds or deciding to pull them out this year...Thanks so much for sharing...
Hugs,
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
Hi Debbie - I love how you're being so positive and proactive with your life and dealing with all that Joe's passing has brought with it. Having interests and people and pastimes you love helps you find all those flowers and not getting caught up in the weeds.
Delete