Friday, 1 April 2016

The A-Z of Positive Personality Traits - A is for Authentic

A-Z series - positive personality traits - A is for Authentic

I'm getting my #atozchallenge for April on Positive Personality Traits off to a running start with the letter A - and I'm beginning with the most important characteristic you can develop - one that all our other Personality Traits branch off from - it is being Authentic. If we aren't true to ourselves and if we don't have a genuine "realness" and authenticity to our lives then nothing we say or do will hold water.

The world we live in tries to tell us how we should look, how we should think, how we should feel, and how we should behave. Often a shiny wrapper on the outside does it's best to cover a not so lovely inside. People are so busy trying to impress others and trying to be what others expect that they forget who they truly are - or maybe they never found out in the first place.

Midlife has taught me that you lose yourself if you try to be all things to all people. If you squeeze yourself into a box that suits someone else but diminishes who you are then you lose every time. We are all unique and we all have so much to offer once we find our centre and ground ourselves in owning who we really are.


A-Z series - positive personality traits - A is for Authentic

If you don't know who your authentic self is, then maybe it's time to take a step back. Time to sit down and think about what is important to you, what resonates with your heart. Stop seeing yourself as a wife, or a mother, or a provider, or a hail-good-fellow (when you feel like the opposite). Start seeing yourself for who you know lives inside - you may lose people along the way when you start being honest with yourself and with them. They may not like "the new you" who is actually "the real you" who has been in hiding. Ultimately, that's their loss.

Let's all start loving and respecting ourselves enough to be honest with the world and stay true to our values and not be blown here and there by whichever breeze happens to blow our way. Starting today, let's be our authentic selves - you might find you like that person a whole lot more than your thought - I know I'm coming to like myself more now that I'm rediscovering who I really am.

Don't forget to come back for the next Positive Personality Trait - B is for Brave.

This post is part of the April #atozchallenge.

To keep up to date with my posts, feel free to add your email into the spot especially for it on my sidebar or follow me on facebook


77 comments:

  1. Spot on Leanne. It is a pity that some of us have to arrive at midlife to realise that we are special in our own way and we don't have to pretend anymore. Viva midlife I say! Looking forward to 'B' x

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    1. I agree Sue - we might be late bloomers but we're going to put on a show!

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  2. I don't know what it is about this year ( maybe it's because I'm turning 50 ) but these sort of posts are starting to resonate loudly with me. I lost a really long standing friend recently because he wanted me to be someone I'm not and kept having a go at me over it. Life's too short to maintain a facade. Great post Leeane.

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    1. I think 50 is the magic number Suzi - where we wake up to the fact that we can't be bothered playing games or appeasing everyone any more - kind of take us or leave us and we're okay with that :)

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  3. Hello Leanne,

    Love the authentic and waiting for Brave.

    I am taking on #ATOZChallenge on my positive psychology blog and here is my post. Appreciate if you can visit and check out.
    Consumer Psyche: A for Ask http://www.consumerpsyche.com/2016/04/a-for-ask.html?spref=tw

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  4. I can almost pinpoint when I started to feel "authentic". It made life so much more enjoyable, without the work involved in trying to please everyone, all the time.

    Farin from The Newest Vazquez

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    1. It's an amazing feeling when you start being true to yourself and not keeping up the facade anymore.

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  5. Great post for a start. You're so right that so many people are trying fit in a box so hard that there's nothing left of them at the end of the process. I wish more people understood that by trying to make everyone happy, you make yourself unhappy (sadly, sometimes without even realizing it). The freedom to be yourself is the greatest.

    Very inspiring post, looks like tomorrow's one will be the same. Good luck with the challenge!

    @rian_durant from
    Rian’s Randomness

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    1. Thanks so much Rian - I'm so happy that you can see where I'm coming from with the idea of being your authentic self and I'm also really pleased to be meeting so many other bloggers!

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  6. I guess it is time ..for me too.. to sit and think what really is important to me.. Loved your post... and surely a great inspiring start to the challenge

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    1. There seems to come a time in everyone's life when they stop and take stock and decide to be true to themselves and that is the beginning of a fantastic journey :)

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  7. Excellent advice! People spend way too much time and energy worrying about what other people think or trying to impress. I never much cared and, except for my years as a corporate slave (I played the game and wore the power suit uniform), just did my own thing. If people liked it -great. If not, their loss! It's even more pronounced, now that I'm over 60. ☺

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    1. I think we just keep getting better with age Debbie - we don't really give a toss about the type of people who play games and that attracts much healthier relationships into our lives.

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  8. I love positive approach to life .. thanks for this wonderful piece of advice.. :)

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    1. thanks so much for your kind comment Deepti - I hope you come back to read more :)

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  9. It took me a really long time to get to this realization. Like you said, growing older probably helped because till then we were too busy trying to be what everyone else wanted of us.
    As long as we don't hurt anyone, its okay to be true to our own self, I always feel now. No matter what, we can't please everyone on Earth.

    My entry for the #AtoZChallenge -
    Tv Shows: A - Agents of SHIELD

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    1. I like the disclaimer about not hurting anyone in the process. If our authentic self hurts others then we are not in a good place and really need to work on ourselves!

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  10. You get wiser as you get older. To Thine Own self be True indeed! What a lovely thoughts you have shared, being yourself matters more than anything else. Cheers and smiles :)
    @KalaRavi16 from
    Relax-N-Rave

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    1. thanks so much Kala - it is definitely a benefit of getting more mature and gaining a sense of self confidence - owning your actions and who you are. Thanks for stopping by x

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  11. I spent the whole challenge last year exploring authenticity. Beautiful post. I resonated so strongly. It's still a challenge for me to be authentic at all times. The fear is too strong at times. But it's a daily practice. And more present I am, the easier it gets.

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    1. I think it's hard for all of us Gulara - we all want to be liked and we get scared that if we don't conform to what we think other people want then we'll lose them - I'm getting better at being myself as I get older!

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  12. Really enjoyed reading this, Leanne! Nice theme! Thank you for visiting my AtoZ too! :)

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    1. my pleasure - I hope we get to share lots along the way over the next month :)

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  13. You just have a way of saying it Leanne. Well stated. So many ways to grow and blossom, body, mind and spirit but this growth has to be authentic, as you say.

    Kathleen
    Blogger's Pit Stop

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    1. I think we're getting there slowly but surely Kathleen - at least this is one benefit of getting older!

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  14. "If you squeeze yourself into a box that suits someone else but diminishes who you are then you lose every time." Sadly this is true for many people... I like your post very much :) The Truck Traveller

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    1. thanks so much Zeljka - I hope our boxes keep getting bigger so we don't gave to make ourselves smaller to fit :)

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    2. I stopped trying years ago, don't think I'll fit in any ;) and that's completely fine.

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  15. Well said, and excellent advice. Lovely, photo, too. Great beginning for the AtoZ Challenge.
    Sue at CollectInTexas Gal

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    1. thanks so much Sue - I love this challenge and I'm heading over to say hi on your blog too x

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  16. Good morning from Mid-Missouri! I'm just droppin in to validate that being Authentic is the most important. I work with early childhood and those little ones can spot a 'faker' in a heartbeat! Good start for the A to Z :)
    Stephanie Finnell from
    @Randallbychance
    Katy Trail Creations
    Stephanies Stuff

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    1. thanks Stephanie and hi from Western Australia! Little children have much clearer eyes and hearts than we adults have don't they?

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  17. I am just 18, and I have started to blog, just to discover myself. Your blog is inspiring. :)

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    1. thanks SO much - it's nice to think that I'm not too old and can still inspire - I'm smiling :)

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  18. I love your thoughts and totally agree. I'm in my early sixties and it's taken awhile to really find my true self, but I'm really enjoying this stage of life and am finding many forms of creativity that I love. This is my first time with the A to Z Challenge and I'm not very prepared, but I'm ready to take on the challenge. :) http://gaylwright.blogspot.com/2016/04/a-is-for-aardwolf.html

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    1. It's my first time to Gayl and I'm pretty organized because I'm in the middle of changing jobs! I'm loving midlife and finding myself and putting my needs first is quite a pleasant experience :)

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  19. This is such a thought provoking post... and I think I'm right there with you on the entire matter...

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    1. Thanks Adri - I hope you come back and read some more - I'd be interested to hear what you think :)

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  20. This is one of my most important quality I search for in friends.

    Susan Says


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    1. me too Susan - I think it is the number one quality now :)

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  21. Thought provoking post, agree with you; nothing like being yourself and loving yourself the way you are, its a great blessings to find friends who are authentic.

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    1. It is indeed - I have culled a few friends who haven't walked their talk and don't miss them at all. thanks for visiting :)

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  22. Wonderful post for the first day of the challenge! I wish you good luck with this April prompts!

    Sinziana from
    Sparkling Shoes Girl

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    1. thanks so much - it's going to be a wonderful month isn't it :)

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  23. Couldn't agree more. Who wants fake friends?

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    1. nobody wants fake friends Melanie - and that's why we need to be true to ourselves and go from there :)

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    1. it is indeed Kristin - and time we all realized that :)

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  25. True...honesty begins by being honest to self.

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    1. It's hard to let some of our "front" go Shaivi because we all want to be liked, but being honest is definitely the way to go.

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  26. A perfect way to begin the challenge, authentically! I hope all the best for your challenge and hope you have a lot of fun!
    @ScarlettBraden from
    Frankly Scarlett

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    1. thanks so much Scarlett - I'm having a great time and meeting so many new bloggers - just loving it!

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  27. Awesome perspective on life. Well said.
    www.MerrieHansen.com
    Courageously Livin' Out Loud 4 Jesus

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    1. thanks so much Merrie - I want to really focus on positive and affirming qualities that we all need more of.

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  28. I enjoyed your "A" blog, and finding you as a writer that I'd like to revisit, through the A-Z Challenge. Happy blogging! Authentically, www.dianeweidenbenner.com

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    1. thanks Diane! That's one of the reasons I joined (besides the actual challenge itself) I really want to meet new bloggers who I can connect with.

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  29. LOVE this! I managed to lose myself for about a decade... trying to be wife, mother, teacher, chief cook and bottle washer. I completely forgot who Molly was. Journaling and prayer helped greatly.

    Molly @MyCozyBookNook
    My Cozy Book Nook
    Revising Life after 50

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    1. I think there are a lot of us who are in the same boat Molly - we got so caught up in being what everyone needed us to be that we forgot who the real "me" was - it's wonderful to begin rediscovering it again :)

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  30. Being Authentic is what it is all about. Not to be authentic is to have all the vitality drained out of your life. Alana@RamblinGarden from
    Ramblin with AM

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    1. I agree Alana - when you stop working at maintaining the facade, you have so much more energy to just be yourself and get on with doing the things you love :)

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  31. I couldn't agree more! It is better to have one friend who loves the real you than 100 who love someone you're really not. A great start to your challenge
    Debbie

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    1. thanks so much Debbie - I think connecting with people as your honest self, rather than as the person you think they will like, makes friendships so much more meaningful x

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  32. Love it. Being true to yourself is an important but difficult lesson.

    shared!

    @dSavannahCreate from
    dSavannahRambles
    #AtoZChallenge2016 theme: dSavannah Defects

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    1. it is something I've spent a bit of time on over the last few years - so much better than trying to fit into other people's boxes!

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  33. Wonderful theme and post, all the best with the rest of the challenge!

    Damyanti, AZ cohost 2016

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  34. Amazing post, Leanne! I didn't become authentic with myself and others until I learned Mindfulness. I certainly pissed off a lot of people when I stopped saying yes to things ;)
    Have a great weekend!
    Lori

    My A2Zs @ As the Fates Would Have It & Promptly Written
    Follow Me (Ravyne) Twitter|Facebook

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    1. I love that Ravyne! I wonder how many people would prefer us to be in-authentic so they get their own way in everything while we passively let them?

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  35. It is interesting how as you grow older, you have to see the value of being authentic. Good post.

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    1. Thanks Ann - I think authenticity is where the rubber hits the road and we really start living!

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  36. Isn't that the truth! We are all unique in our own way, and I am loving it! :-)

    Liesbet @ Roaming About – A Life Less Ordinary

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    1. Yes Liesbet - why would we want to be anything other than our unique selves? Pleasing others is not a good enough reason in my opinion :)

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  37. This above all: To thine own self be true - It's words I've lived by since I first heard them as a teenager.

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    1. Being true to yourself and owning your quirks and strengths makes for being a much more interesting person - you just figured it out way earlier than I did :)

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  38. Beautifully written Leanne. Your writing just gets better and better.

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  39. Ooooh, I LOVE the ABC game - what a fantastic topic for one! I can't wait to see the rest of your posts! So glad you joined us at #FridayFrivolity this week and hope to see you again!

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  40. Great post Leanne. We only have a short time on this earth, it should be spent with us being truthful and authentic to ourselves first of all and then to everyone else, as best as we can.

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