Friday, 22 April 2016

The A-Z of Positive Personality Traits - S is for Self-confident

The A-Z of Positive Personality Traits - S is for Self-confident - www.crestingthehill.com.au

Next letter up for the A-Z challenge of Positive Personality Traits is S - and S is for Self-confident. This is a big personality trait to get a grip on. So many of us are lacking in this area - I'm not sure why, but we can be our own worst critics and we let that inner voice talk down to us and sap our confidence. We need to replace that critic with a voice that cheers us on and celebrates who we are.

Confidence would be the primary trait that separates the go-getters from the pack. Some people just seem to have it in spades - they ooze self-confidence from their pores and from their gleaming smiles. They could sell ice to eskimos and are always the life of the party who everyone else is drawn to. 

Self-confidence for the rest of us is a hard earned quality. We need to see ourselves in a much more positive light. We need to stop focusing on our faults and turn our attention to all those parts of ourselves that are positive and attractive. If you're wondering what those qualities are - just ask your friends and family, I'm sure they can come up with a few to get you started.

The A-Z of Positive Personality Traits - S is for Self-confident

We need to stop worrying about what other people think about us (or is that just me?) and start looking outwards at how we can invest in others and our relationships. Everyone loves the person who accepts and invests in others - be that person. Stop over-thinking everything and just leap up and have a go. The worst thing that can happen is you fall flat on your face, but we all do that occasionally - the best thing is you gain confidence in yourself and having a go starts to come more easily.

Most of us don't realize what we're capable of until we put ourselves on the line - think positive, accept yourself and have a go. Confidence develops when you take your eyes off yourself and over-thinking everything too much. Spread your wings and see what happens.

See you next time for the continuation of Positive Personality Traits - T is for Trust.

This post is part of the April #atozchallenge.

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35 comments:

  1. We're on a roll with our positivity traits, Leanne! My S is on Self-Worth and My T is on Trust also. I'm four hours away from scheduled posting of S. Good job! We're almost at the end! :)

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    1. I know Mary Lou - it's been quite a journey and one I'm glad I tried - not sure about next year, but never say never and I'm really enjoying all the new bloggers I've met along the way :)

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  2. Self confidence is one trait I lack, although others tell me No. But I know how I feel inside.

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    1. I think we're all good at putting on a "face" for the world Jeanne while underneath we are sure that we're frauds. I'm trying to listen to what other people believe about me (the positive parts anyway!) because the more I hear the good stuff, the more it sinks in and I start to believe it :)

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  3. My self-confidence varies depending on the situation. (It does help to not over-think things. Just leap away)

    @ShonnaSlayton from
    Author Shonna Slayton: A to Z of the 1800s

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    1. So does mine Shonna - but I'm working on improving it. I think we have a lot more to offer than we give ourselves credit for and leaping is sometimes the best way to find this out!

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  4. My self-confidence was definitely lacking until I turned 50 and realised that I wasn't all that bad! So many midlife women lack self-confidence. We just don't see what others see in us do we?

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    1. I completely agree Sue - it's like we've listened to the negatives for so many years that we find it hard to see all those wonderful qualities that we've developed along the way. Midlife is certainly a time to step up and take ownership of them - and we're rocking that!

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  5. Very well said Leanne! I was a pretty shy person, only when I started working...after two kids did I realize my own worth! I realized my skills and potential and there has been no looking back. Part of self-confidence also depends on your childhood shaping and upbringing, the rest can be cultivated. Of course being born self-confident is a blessing for a few!
    @KalaRavi16 from
    Relax-N-Rave

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    1. I would have loved to have been born with self-confidence, or had parents that nurtured it in me Kala - it's taken me 50 years to find some of the qualities in myself that are special and be confident enough to be open about them and move forward - you younger women seem to have figured it out sooner :)

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  6. Thank you Leanne for bringing up this trait.. today I was thinking about some work which I want to start.. I was not Self Confident thus was not able to make up my mind.. But now I will work on this trait.. and take up the challenge.. :)


    http://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.in/2016/04/stung.html

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    1. Go for it Deepti! Take the leap and I bet you'll be glad you did :) Let me know the result!

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  7. Some of us have it some of us don't.. But whoever I'm reading is saying that we can cultivate this trait. And that is the best news ever. We all want hope. :) We all need to practise this. I think the more we can be confident about ourselves, the happier we will all be.
    Cheers,
    Seena
    #AtoZChallenge - S is for Social (media) Babies

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    1. I totally believe that we can cultivate self-confidence if we focus on our good points and practice being braver Seena - I'm a work in progress, but improving all the time :)

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  8. I don't know how I can not care less about what others think or say and be my own worst critic at the same time. Since childhood, my parents were down to earth all the time - not like these I see today - and in the best case scenario I got "It can be done better" even with the school grades (I've been an A student) and I agree everything can always be better. I just wish I could be more self-confident.

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    1. My parents were the same Zeljka - never happy with my efforts and never complimenting my progress. I think this was a setback, but we can move past our childhoods and develop our confidence by stepping out and believing that we are capable and willing to have a try - you do it all the time with your travelling :)

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    2. I couldn't have done it without my husband's support (I've found a good one - just like you) so could push the boundaries due to my priorities :) (I didn't like to travel at all before that)

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  9. This is SO very true... the older I get, the more I realize that others spend a lot less time thinking about us than we think we do (they are more worried about themselves).

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    1. That's it exactly - we are nowhere near as interesting (or as boring) as we think we are :)

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  10. Self Confidence is an inside job! We must realize our strengths and live them to the best of our potential each day. Each day we do something we think we can't we gain self confidence. Take the WINS! Thanks for the reminder to live in self confidence daily!

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    1. I love your "take the Wins!" It's so important to believe in ourselves and to own our successes and move forward instead of dwelling on the things that we are "not" :)

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  11. Hi Leanne, we wrote similar blogs this week. I just wish I could figure out why we pay so much more attention to the negatives things and brush off all the positive comments we get. We should pay more attention to the good than the bad. I am trying...

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    1. Hi Michelle - I'd noticed the same thing when I saw your post :) It's such a relevant topic for women in midlife - it's like we're just waking up to our potential isn't it? And you go ahead and ditch any of those clothes you were hiding behind! x

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  12. I have confidence in myself, but am still far too dependant on pleasing everyone. Sigh.

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    1. I think there's a balance between the two Di - where we still need to please others (because it gives us pleasure too) but not letting ourselves get lost in the process x

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  13. So true. I struggle with confidence. I think it's a tricky trait though - there are some people who are truly confident, and they are great people to be around, who usually succeed in helping others feel more confident and better too. But there are also a lot of behaviours that are described as 'confidence', but really aren't. The people who are arrogant, the ones who put others down to make themselves feel good, the ones who are overbearing, all often appear confident, but in my view they are usually actually pretty insecure and trying to cover that up. True confidence doesn't need to overshadow or pull down anyone else, but I think a lot of people do struggle with feeling truly confident about themselves.

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    1. That was beautifully said - arrogance is not self confidence and it's definitely a sign of insecurity trying to big note itself at the expense of others. Self confidence allows us to invest in others while being secure in who we are as worthwhile people in our own right.

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  14. This has been an area I have been working on for forever. Love this post!

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    1. Me too - I am definitely getting better but the negative voice still likes to speak over the top of things more often than I care to admit :)

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  15. You're so right, we never know what we are capable of until we start. I'm learning to silence that inner critic!

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    1. Me too Corinne - slowly but surely :)

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  16. From where I am your doing wonderful Leanne, that is because I can't hear that pesky inner voice that needs a sock in its mouth. A very helpful post that most of us need a dose of.
    Kathleen
    The Blogger's Pit Stop

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    1. thanks Kathleen - I'm working on keeping a lid on that voice and doing my best to listen to the positive ones :)

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  17. I've always struggled in that department, but I'm getting better the older I get.

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    1. me too Rena - definitely a benefit of midlife x

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